Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and Co and therefore I do not make money from toying with them like they are my own personal and rather naughty action figures.
Summary: There are reasons why two people can't be together. Separated by oceans, by wars, by family feuds. Try being the Angel of Death. Romeo and Juliet were lucky. SasuNaru
Author's Note: Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the wonderful reviews. I feel very spoiled and blushy.
Now, on to news much more interesting and important than the rosy hue of my cheeks, tomorrow, July 10th, is SasuNaru Day! HAPPY HAPPY DAY TO YOU ALL!
Special thanks to my awesome-sauce beta, Master of Rebels. Ilu.
The Divine Glitch
Chapter Three
Sasuke's summons back to heaven was instantaneous and not accompanied by all of the normal 'feelings' Kakashi enjoyed tormenting Sasuke with. Given any other circumstance, Sasuke might have been concerned. At this moment, though, with Naruto's Call absent for the first time in nineteen years, Sasuke couldn't be bothered. He couldn't believe how empty he felt and the wrongness of it made bile race up his throat and tears sting painfully behind his eyes. In the back of his mind, he cursed Naruto, the word 'abandonment' like oil polluting his thoughts and driving anger to the forefront of his mind. How dare Naruto cut him off? Leave him? It was not just Naruto's decision to make. Not when it involved Sasuke, as well, and…
And, oh god… Sasuke closed his eyes, capturing the escaping tears in his long lashes. What had he done?
"Well, you have single-handedly shoved Heaven into a tizzy."
Sasuke looked up, taking in the serene, white office. If he listened very carefully, Sasuke could hear the music of the harps of Heaven, the soft, dulcet tones like a blanket of comfort and security. Kakashi leaned back in his chair, his ankles crossed on his desk, his orange book in hand. Seconds ticked by and his long fingers turned a page. A lazy smirk curled his lips and he absently scratched above his left ear. Another page and Heaven's lead angel of Death snickered.
Nothing in the history of… ever… seemed less like a tizzy.
"I'm sorry for the inconvenience," Sasuke said with a level of sarcasm that made the smirk melt from Kakashi's face. With calculating eyes, Kakashi finally looked up from his book and nodded toward the chair. Sasuke sat, holding Kakashi's gaze with raw determination.
"So, tell me, Sasuke," Kakashi said conversationally, "how's that kid…what's his name again?" The silver-haired angel snapped the fingers of his free hand as if trying to recall the name.
Sasuke's fingers curled into the arm of the chair. "You know damn well what his name is," he bit out sharply.
Kakashi grinned cheerfully until his eyes were closed tight, resembling inverted U's. It made a tick appear in Sasuke's left eye.
"I only ask because, well, how do I say this?" He met Sasuke's eyes again. "We lost him."
"What?"
Sasuke's heart stopped. He reached for a bond he never knew he relied on and found nothing. Fear crept into his chest along with cruel desperation. He couldn't tell anymore if Naruto was happy or sad. He couldn't feel his fear and his need. Staying away from Naruto all of these years had hurt but at least he had known. Now, all he felt was a void of nothing and he'd never been so… cold.
Suddenly, he pictured Naruto, a scared and hurt six-year-old, shaking in his hospital room. It was the first time he'd been alone since the accident and he knelt in the middle of his bed with the starched blankets, nothing like the soft bedding Minato would have wrapped his child in, pulled up to his chin. Sasuke hadn't left his side but stood pressed against the wall, hidden in the shadows.
"Kay?" Naruto whispered into the darkness. Blue eyes scanned the room and he pulled the blankets higher until only his eyes could be seen. Sasuke bit his lip until he tasted blood on his tongue when the softest whimper filled the darkness. "Sasuke," Naruto said louder. "Sasuke, please. I need you." His lower lip trembled dangerously. "I'm scared, Sasuke. Don't leave me. Don't leave me alone."
The door to his room opened and a nurse entered, a soft smile on her face. "Naruto, honey, are you having a hard time sleeping?"
Naruto scrambled backward until he was pressed into the wall at the head of the bed. Ignoring the nurse, he continued to look around the room. "Sasuke! Sasuke! Come back, please!" He screamed when the nurse stepped closer to him. A doctor hurried into the room and immediately went to the IV pole, fiddling with the medications. The nurse rambled to the doctor but Sasuke didn't hear anything but Naruto's heartbeat race. He didn't see anything but tears falling from Naruto's eyes.
Blond lashes heavy with tears blinked slower and slower but Naruto's screams echoed through the room. "Please don't do this, Kay! I'm so cold!"
Sasuke blinked and found himself back in Kakashi's office, the whiteness nearly blinding him in contrast to the dimness of his memory. He reached a trembling hand to his face and was shocked when his fingers came away wet.
Kakashi stared back at him, his gray eyes fierce. "What did you do?"
Sasuke's eyes narrowed and they burned just as fierce as Kakashi's. He shook his head, refusing to answer the question until he had asked his own. "What do you mean Naruto is lost?"
Kakashi leaned back in his chair and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Heaven keeps track of every soul that walks on Earth and rests in Heaven." Sasuke made an irritated noise and Kakashi smiled indulgently. "But, you were always a smart little angel. You know this. What you don't know is how we keep track." Kakashi leaned forward until his elbows rested on the desk, his chin on his folded fingers. "Traditionally, every soul gets a guardian angel, their one true link to Heaven. As a failsafe, an angel of records documents every soul's journey through the challenges of Earth to the reward of Paradise."
Sasuke closed his eyes and spoke softly. "Naruto doesn't have a guardian angel."
"No, he doesn't," Kakashi agreed. "And because Naruto wasn't supposed to have a chance at Earth, he wasn't assigned an angel of record either. When he stopped you from collecting him, my report included my concerns about Naruto's soul not being anchored to Heaven. Without understanding the cause, no one was willing to assign Naruto anything he might not need if it turned out it was all a mistake and his soul was returned anyway."
Sasuke growled darkly, angry on Naruto's behalf, but Kakashi spoke over him. "But Level Four immediately discovered the link between you and Naruto and it was determined that until someone figured out what the hell was going on, your link to him, and therefore his link to Heaven, would suffice."
Sasuke sighed and ran his fingers angrily through his hair. "He cut off the connection."
Kakashi's passive expression never changed but he lifted his head and brought his palms to rest flat against the desk. Minutes went by and Sasuke knew Kakashi was weighing his words against the knowledge he already had, trying to come up with a question that would get him the most information. In the end, the silver-haired angel looked straight at him and asked, "Why?"
"I collected his grandmother tonight. She was his last…" Sasuke began and told his story through the point that Naruto severed their bond… something Sasuke realized now he had done to Naruto for years. Sasuke didn't leave anything out, including the moment when Naruto had turned the tables and stolen his breath. If he tried, he could still make out the taste of Naruto on his tongue. Had he not been watching Kakashi closely, needing to see the older man's reaction, he would have missed the barely perceivable widening of his eyes.
When Sasuke fell silent, Kakashi rocked his chair back and forth, eyes narrowed in concentration. "I can't even begin to list all the rules that the two of you have impossibly bent, not to mention the several that you have just shot all to hell."
Sasuke watched Kakashi for a moment and then bowed his head. "If this is a learning opportunity, tell me what I learned…" He swallowed and looked up once more. "Tell me how to fix it."
With a sigh, Kakashi stood. "I can't do that because I don't know how. But, I can tell you two things for sure. Heaven has no way to watch Naruto. You were all he had and now he has nothing. And because of this, the moment Naruto fell off our radar, your file was placed directly onto the desk of God."
Sasuke felt sick, standing unsteadily. Kakashi stood as well and said, "Congratulations." There was no humor in the word. Sasuke nodded solemnly and disappeared.
Xxx
On the highest peak of the coldest mountain in the world, angel of Death, Sasuke Uchiha, stood for three weeks. His hands hung limply at his side and his head was bowed forward while his black hair whirled chaotically around his face in the whipping wind. His body didn't shake despite the frigid weather even as the smallest drops of ice clung to the thick, black lashes that lay against his pale cheeks.
Regardless of the extreme elements beating on Sasuke's outside, nothing compared to the turmoil that raged inside.
When Sasuke left Kakashi's office, he intended to go directly to Naruto. He would demand that Naruto open the bond. He would tell Naruto he had to because he was lost to Heaven, that they couldn't look after him, protect him, if he didn't, but it all would have been a lie.
In the next moment, Sasuke was on a mountaintop telling himself the truth. It wasn't because without the bond Naruto was lost to Heaven; it was because without the bond, he was lost to Sasuke.
He understood Kakashi's unspoken words and knew what Heaven expected of him. Fix it. Naruto was a problem no one would take responsibility for and yet, until now, no one had to. Naruto's impossible bond to Sasuke assured that until such time that someone figured it out, Naruto was covered. Now he wasn't and Sasuke should be a good little angel and make sure Naruto opened the bond once more.
But still, Sasuke didn't move from his spot. For the past nineteen years, he had been in control of their bond. Even though Naruto didn't know it existed, Sasuke did, and he chose when to come and go. Naruto might not have felt the bond, but he felt the effects of Sasuke ignoring it.
Naruto had been living with these emotions that now swirled in Sasuke's mind since he was six-years-old. Naruto had struggled to understand the feeling of loneliness and betrayal… the cold chill of being cut off from something essential to his being… without ever knowing what he was part of and that he had no control in the situation.
In this whole 'incident' with Naruto's soul, Sasuke was beginning to see that Naruto was an unsung victim. While Heaven scrambled to point fingers and pass the buck, a precious soul was being crushed under the weight of their indecision with no say in the outcome.
Naruto had only been given one chance to make a choice in all of this. With that choice, he had looked at Sasuke with hurt, weary eyes and told him to leave. Sasuke wouldn't disrespect Naruto's decision.
It would hurt, fuck, it would hurt more than holding off Naruto's cries. The emptiness Sasuke felt was nearly all consuming. The fear that something might be happening to Naruto, that he could be hurt, scared, or happy without Sasuke knowing was like a constant ache in his chest. But Sasuke had turned away when Naruto begged him to stay. Sasuke knew he didn't deserve to ask Naruto to respond any differently.
No, Naruto deserved to move on, and Sasuke had no choice but to watch from afar. He knew now that he couldn't just walk away. Even in all those years he thought he was, he still unconsciously held Naruto and their bond close to his heart. Now he would know what it felt like to be Naruto and to know that something wonderful was out there and beyond his reach. So he would watch Naruto, protect him to the best of his ability, and let him be happy.
And, like Naruto for all those years, he would hope that someday, the person whose name he whispered into the darkness would, one day, whisper his name back.
As for Naruto being lost, Sasuke wasn't concerned. Heaven might have lost Naruto, but Sasuke knew God hadn't. God kept tabs on his children through love. Sasuke finally understood and appreciated how powerful of a force that was.
After three long weeks, Sasuke slipped to his knees, the soft snow breaking his fall, and prayed. 'Please watch over him, Father. I love him. I love him…'
Xxx
In retrospect, which was all Sasuke had nowadays, he realized that he had loved Naruto's soul from the moment he saw him. He had collected a million babies in his stint as an angel of Death, but never had he wanted to touch one the way he had wanted to touch Naruto. He remembered the soft wisps of blond hair on his small head and the crystal clear blue color of his eyes. He remembered the way his heart had skipped a beat when Naruto fought off his touch and the way his breath caught when Naruto watched him, a small, pink hand reaching out to him…
And Naruto had never stopped reaching out to him. Even when Sasuke's touch hurt him, Naruto continued to try, over and over again, because for Naruto, it was simple. He wanted Sasuke… to hold him, play with him, protect him, stay with him, and later, love him. He wanted Sasuke and, in his soul, Naruto didn't care about the obstacles. He didn't realize that it was impossible, only that it was right.
Sasuke still didn't know what he should have done. No matter how many times he replayed their every interaction in his mind, he always made the same decisions. He wasn't human. He couldn't be with Naruto. It didn't matter if they were connected… because they couldn't be together.
And there he went lying to himself again. He could have tried and there was one instance he would have done differently, given the chance. After Naruto pressed him up against the window and kissed him, as the blond was pulling away, there was a moment, however brief, that Sasuke felt his hesitation. In that moment, Sasuke should have spun Naruto around, cupped his face in his hands, and kissed him until Naruto's breathlessness was the furthest thing from either of their minds.
But, hindsight sucked like that, and he couldn't change anything.
In the year since, Sasuke had turned himself into the first 'heavenly stalker', and in the process, he realized that although he knew Naruto's soul, he had no idea of the personality that came with it. He knew the baby Naruto, with his chubby cheeks and contagious giggle. He knew Naruto as a young child, ready with a huge smile as he tackled anything in his path. But after that, he didn't know who Naruto had become since his father died. He got a brief glimpse when Naruto was thirteen, but nothing could have prepared him for the man Naruto had become.
Like the sun in the center of the universe, Naruto surrounded himself with a group of friends that were eclectic at best, mindboggling at worst. There was no reason that his loud-mouthed best friend should be anywhere near the prissy, pink-haired princess. His red-haired roommate looked like he would prefer ritualistic homicide over socializing with the any of Naruto's other friends, especially the enthusiastic, and obviously insane, young man in his green track suit. The gossipy blond-haired girl spent most of her time arguing with the princess and trying to coax the aspiring entomologist to talk about anything besides the life span of the African Poop Beetle. But, all Naruto had to do was chuckle and rub the back of his head before saying with mock exasperation, "Come on, you guys," and they would all willing follow Naruto into hell.
Sasuke knew that Naruto's friends stayed close to him because the blond was a lively, kindhearted, and loyal friend. Nearly to a fault. If he found a person worthy, Naruto would move mountains to make sure that person became his friend.
Sasuke had seen this when Naruto met his new roommate. The redhead, Gaara, was a withdrawn, angry, and perhaps, mildly psychotic young man. When he deigned to speak, his words were soft and deadly, attacking his victim with what almost seemed like a will of their own. He spent all his class time glaring at his fellow students and his time in the dorm room studiously ignoring Naruto. A week into their co-habitation, Gaara made Sakura cry. As she dug her face into Naruto's shoulder, Naruto gave Gaara a verbal smackdown that made Sasuke smirk at the firecracker Naruto had become. Naruto spoke vehemently about friendship and support. He talked about his childhood and the rumors buzzing through campus about Gaara's, and finally, Naruto said, despite Gaara's treatment of Naruto's friends, that he still thought Gaara was a good person.
Gaara's green eyes widened impossibly but he didn't say a word. Naruto sighed, pushing Sakura out of the room, but, before he closed the door, he said, "I'll see you later, Gaara."
Gaara nodded and quietly said, "I'll see you then."
And just like that, Gaara was a card-carrying member of the "Sunshine Club".
When Naruto was out with his friends, he was the life of the party. Always smiling and laughing. He made sure that everyone around him was having a good time; breaking Ino and Sakura apart by pointing out two hot guys making eyes at them, making sure that Lee stayed away from anything besides water, and conning Gaara into the 'one more drink' that brought a goofy smile to the otherwise scolding face. He played drinking games with Kiba and wore sunglasses in the nearly pitch black interior of the nightclub because Shino 'made it look cool'.
But the thing that Sasuke enjoyed most about Naruto and his friends going out was when Naruto would tilt his head toward the dance floor, as if he were listening to a siren only he could hear sing his name, and a slow, soft smile would curl his lips. He'd whisper into Kiba's ear and nod toward the rest of the group, leaving them in the capable hands of his number one. And then, with the purpose and precision of a predator, he would move into the mass of hot bodies and flashing lights.
Somehow, Naruto always ended up in the middle of the floor, surrounded on all sides, but he never let anyone touch him. He danced with his arms in the air, his medical alert bracelet reflecting the colorful lights, and his eyes closed. Sweat curled the golden hairs at his nape and wove tantalizing trails down his neck. The movement of his arms hiked his t-shirt up until a sliver of the tan skin underneath was revealed to anyone interested in watching.
Sasuke was disgusted to see just how many people were interested in watching. Men and women tracked him with hunger in their eyes. Even people obviously there with someone else would sneak sly glances or turn their partner onto the golden god dancing among them. Anyone who dared to show that interest was politely denied, without so much as a glance from Naruto's bright eyes.
Jealousy, coupled with his growing awareness of Naruto, fought viciously with Sasuke's determination to leave Naruto alone. His need to walk through the crowd and run his fingers over Naruto's taut abdomen, smooth hipbone, or up the dip of Naruto's spine was nearly intoxicating.
And all of this alone should have been the most captivating and intriguing part of watching Naruto dance hypnotically on the crowded floor. But Naruto's golden hair and smooth skin weren't the reason Sasuke stood pressed against the wall, thanking the Lord reverently that he was invisible to everyone because he was rock hard in his black pants. No, the reason Sasuke bit his lip and palmed his aching cock was that when Naruto swayed and danced by himself, he held his breath.
Soon, too soon and yet not nearly soon enough in Sasuke's opinion, Kiba would appear and wrap his arms around Naruto's waist. The first few times he watched Kiba's hand splay over Naruto's chest, Sasuke had growled low in his throat, fisting his fingers until they cut into his palms. It wasn't until later that Sasuke realized that as Kiba's lips moved, he carefully counted Naruto's heart rate.
Finally, heated blue eyes would open and blink slowly, as if awakening from a daze. Naruto would twist and shove Kiba away, the amusement clear in blue eyes. Kiba would grin and press his mouth against Naruto's ear, whispering, before looking pointedly around the dance floor at all of Naruto's admirers. Naruto's laugh would follow them through the crowd, back to their table, and to all of his waiting friends.
Sasuke always followed Naruto home those nights but would only watch from the outside as he entered his dorm room. He would imagine Naruto checking that Gaara made it to bed and then getting himself ready, as well. Naruto would pull back the covers of his bed and close his eyes, replaying the images of the night as sleep pulled him slowly into her embrace. When Naruto reached the point of the night when he escaped to the dance floor, Sasuke imagined he'd slip one hand beneath the covers and push up his t-shirt. He'd move his warm fingers over his chest, hissing when his thumbs caught on his perked nipples, and down his quivering stomach. His narrow hips would lift off the mattress as he pulled down his sleep pants and eager fingers would wrap around his aching cock. Blue eyes would snap open into the darkness, searching for just one person, as his wrists began a slow, firm pace up and down his shaft.
Sasuke imagined that Naruto never made a noise because he held his breath, an image of Sasuke with him, holding him, touching him, and loving him. When he was finally forced to take a desperate breath, the rush of air came out over Sasuke's name.
Sasuke never went into Naruto's dorm room after those nights because the dream was so much better than what he feared the reality actually was.
Xxx
When Naruto wasn't with his friends, or in school, he was volunteering at the hospital his grandmother had worked for. With schoolwork, his hours were few, but Naruto always made time.
The pediatric ward was obviously Naruto's favorite, and they loved him there as well, but sometimes, Naruto would wander upstairs and sit with the elderly patients whose families couldn't be with them or who didn't have a family. Naruto would hold their hands, help them to eat, and listen to their stories. Sasuke wondered if Naruto was only there because he knew that when someone died, an angel of Death was certain to be there. Sasuke had had to wait Naruto out several times before collecting a soul, unwilling to show himself in front of him.
But when he collected the souls, he knew Naruto's kindness had nothing to do with some selfish need to see Sasuke (His pleasure in the man Naruto had become warred viciously with his own selfish disappointment). The souls Naruto sat with were peaceful and content. Unafraid, because Naruto always told them that he knew Heaven was real, and beautiful, and waiting. Naruto spoke with such conviction and longing, Sasuke found himself waiting outside, unable to watch Naruto, even from the shadows, but just as equally unable to walk away.
Xxx
Sasuke hadn't been called back to Heaven since he had chosen not to force Naruto to accept their unexplained connection. He wondered about the abrupt silence. The last time a case had made it to the desk of God, at least to Sasuke's knowledge, the judgment had been swift and exacting, and a war ended as a result.
Heavenly silence aside, even though a year had passed, Sasuke's resolve remained the same. No matter how Sasuke tried to convince himself, through Naruto's actions, that the blond man missed him and still needed him, Naruto never Called for him… and not once had he said Sasuke's name.
As a result, Sasuke had resigned himself to continue on as Naruto's 'false' guardian angel, watching the young man smile and struggle and, most importantly, live. And when the time came to collect Naruto and deliver him to the paradise in Heaven, Sasuke would make damn sure that it was in his arms.
And so, for over a year, Sasuke carried on with his deep-seeded conviction to stay out of Naruto's life. Well, at least, where the man could see him. And, Sasuke knew conviction was a fine thing. Standing by what he believed, not because it's easy but because, in his heart, he honestly believed that it wastrue. The kicker is, sometimes, that conviction can be shattered by the smallest change of circumstance and everything he held to be true blown away like dust on the wind.
In this case, that change of circumstance came in the form of Naruto's best friend, Kiba, and three little words that made Sasuke, for the first time in his life, consider collecting a soul without permission. Consequences be damned.
Xxx
Gaara had been called home for the weekend. His siblings had come to collect him early on Friday afternoon and Naruto would have his dorm to himself until early Monday morning.
It was now late on Friday night and Sasuke was watching Naruto and Kiba played video games. Naruto sat cross-legged on the brown couch, dressed in an orange hoodie and gray sweats. Kiba was on the other side of the couch, dressed similarly in a dark blue sweatshirt and black sweats. His right leg was stretched across the couch though, resting in Naruto's lap. His ankle was wrapped tightly because earlier in the day, he had twisted it during soccer practice.
Sasuke hardly listened to what the two young men talked about. Naruto ribbed his friend about his clumsiness and Kiba asked Naruto if his controller was even plugged in, he was playing so poorly. Sasuke leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, listening to Naruto laugh and talk, and reminding himself that this was what everything he did was for. Just to hear Naruto laugh.
"Hey, man," Kiba said, lifting his controller slightly as his character did an impossible flip, (comma) followed by a devastating blow to Naruto's staggering ninja. "Can we talk?"
"Mother fucker…" Naruto whispered under his breath, and then began pressing buttons in quick secession. "Sure, whatever…"
The telltale bing of the game being put on pause made Sasuke look up and Kiba turned to Naruto.
"Have you ever been in love?"
Naruto hadn't turned from the screen, and the look on his face said that he had been moments from asking why the hell the game had stopped. He turned his face away from Kiba and the move allowed Sasuke to see it perfectly. His eyes were closed tightly, almost like he was in pain. He took a deep breath and when he looked at his friend, whatever look Sasuke had seen was replaced with a cocky grin.
"Hey, dude, have you ever worn girls' panties?" Kiba growled and Naruto continued. "See, I can be ridiculously random, too. Turn the game back on, asshole." He turned back to the screen, controller in hand.
Kiba tossed his controller onto the cluttered coffee table and an empty can toppled to the carpet with barely a sound.
"That better not leave a stain or Gaara will nail your ass to the wall," Naruto warned, carefully leaning forward over Kiba's ankle and tossing his controller to the table as well.
When he was finished, he leaned back, twisting slightly so that he sat in the corner facing Kiba. He adjusted Kiba's ankle in his lap and looked up, a question in his eyes.
"It's good," Kiba answered. Naruto nodded and gently rested his hands in his lap and over Kiba's ankle.
"Alright, so I know you've worn girls' panties. I won't make you say it. Now, what's this about?"
Kiba grinned, waggling his eyebrows. "I wore them and I liked them." He shrugged. "They speak to my inner princess."
Naruto chuckled. "Ahhh, I understand now. And it's your inner princess who wants to bitch about love when we could be kicking the shit out of each other in our game?"
Kiba scowled and scratched his cheek. Naruto sighed when Kiba's brown eyes were hard and serious. "Naruto, I have known you since we were, what? Twelve?"
Naruto nodded, and Sasuke watched tension creep slowly into the way Naruto held himself.
"At first, I thought that your lack of interest in other people was because of all the shit you had to deal with. Losing your mom and dad, and then your grandfather."
Naruto nodded again, but Sasuke could tell it was a controlled move, like he was forcing himself. His mouth was tipped into a thin-lipped smile. The way Kiba's eyebrows furrowed let Sasuke know that he noticed it too, but he pushed on.
"When we got to college, I hoped it would get better, but then the hospital and your…"
Naruto closed his eyes and turned away. "Your point?"
"You don't give anyone the time of day, but Naruto, when you are out on that dance floor…"
Sasuke's chest tightened and his fingers curled into fists. Everything about his posture screamed how tense he had suddenly become. Naruto's wasn't much better.
"You don't let anyone touch you, Naruto, but your face… fuck." Kiba scrubbed at his eyes with the palms of his hands and dropped them back into his lap. "You look… well, you know you're fucking gorgeous." Kiba chuckled and Naruto laughed too, but his fingers rubbed the back of his neck, pulling painfully on the hair he found there. "Your face is so relaxed. You close your eyes and I know that you are imagining someone, aren't you?"
Naruto looked back at his friend and licked his lips. "I…"
Kiba stretched forward and caught Naruto's fingers, still brushing over his ankle, in his own. "Is it… is it me?"
Sasuke nearly stepped forward, his face twisted in anger. No, Naruto wasn't thinking about you, you stupid son-of-a-bitch…
Naruto turned his head and looked longingly at the frozen warriors on the television screen. "Kiba," he said slowly and tilted back to look into brown eyes. "I'm just dancing, that's all."
Sasuke watched Kiba's jaw tense and smirked when he let go of Naruto's hand and leaned against his end of the couch. "Answer the original question, then. Have you ever been in love?"
Naruto ran hand over his face. "Kiba, I really don't think that…"
"I love you."
As if they were one entity, Naruto pushed himself into the arm of the couch, and Sasuke into the wall, like Kiba's words were a physical force pressing them back.
"Yeah, I love you," Kiba said again with an uncomfortable half smile and a shrug. He looked away from Naruto, running his hands through his hair before looking back. "I think I have since the hospital called me, told me your heart had stopped, and that your grandmother was dead. I walked into the hospital and found you asleep on a chair in the hallway. There weren't enough beds and once you were stabilized, they moved you to make room. You were crying in your sleep. You are my best friend and I have never seen you cry. I've seen you sad and devastated, but you never cry. I stood in that hallway, people all around me crying and confused, and all I saw was you."
Naruto's eyes widened and Sasuke couldn't tear his own eyes away from Naruto's face. His tan cheeks were pale, the scars from his accident all those years ago stark against his skin, and his eyes a little too shiny. His body appeared to stiffen, like he might get up and leave, but then he remembered Kiba's ankle and sat still. "I didn't know that… you never said."
"I took you home. You fell asleep again in the car. You kept talking to someone. Pleading with them. You kept asking them to stay and saying over and over again that you loved them."
Naruto gasped and Sasuke didn't realize he'd brought his hand to his chest until his fingers bit into the skin under his jacket.
"My grandmother," Naruto excused lamely but stopped when Kiba shook his head.
"That's what I thought at first." Kiba sat up and carefully moved his leg off Naruto's lap. Naruto opened his mouth to stop him, but Kiba didn't stop until his foot rested gingerly on the floor. "I think it's more than that…" Kiba whispered quietly, so quietly that Sasuke was certain it was only because he was an angel that he heard it, and then twisted to look at Naruto with a full-fledged grin across his face.
Sasuke thought Naruto's shoulders relaxed a little at the look so common on his friend's face.
Kiba took a deep breath and then slapped Naruto's knee with a chuckle. "I just told you I loved you. Your thoughts?"
"Kiba," Naruto began and briskly ran his fingers through his hair. "You are my best friend, I don't…"
Blue eyes met and held deep brown and Sasuke could feel Naruto's anguish like it was his own. For a single moment, Sasuke thought Naruto had opened their connection, but with Kiba's next words, Sasuke knew he felt it too.
"I'm always going to be your best friend. I'm never going to leave you."
Naruto's head snapped back to Kiba, the color draining from his face, and he shook his head. When he spoke, his voice was hard. "Don't say that," Naruto bit out. "Don't lie."
"I'm not… I…" Kiba said and shook his head in denial while his eyebrows rose in his confusion.
Sasuke didn't have that problem. He knew exactly what Naruto was talking about. 'I'll always stay with you'. It was a promise that Sasuke had broken. Leaving him again and again… but this last time was at Naruto's request. Somehow, even to his own mind, the logic of that excuse didn't play out, and it never would.
Naruto stood suddenly from the couch and Sasuke pressed himself further into the wall. Kiba made to stand, but Naruto held out his hand, and Kiba leaned back into the couch.
"I know, I know," Naruto said softly and ran his hands over his face. "Dammit, Kiba, I know you would never… you are my best friend and I do love you."
Sasuke felt his heart stop in his chest and a soft noise he had no hope of controlling escaped from his throat. His fingers clawed into the wall, scrambling to keep himself standing under the onslaught of what those three little words had done to him. He willed himself back to the mountain, or to Kakashi's office, or to fucking hell, but he remained, all the same, staring at bright blue eyes, lost to him…
Naruto came to a stop in front of Kiba and the brown-haired man reached out and grabbed Naruto's wrist. With a tug, Naruto was in his lap, straddling his thighs. The extra weight against his leg pressed his swollen ankle into the floor and he hissed. "What the hell are…" Naruto began, but Kiba wrapped his arms around Naruto's lower back and pulled him forward.
For the briefest moment, everything stopped. Sasuke couldn't breathe, couldn't remember the last time he could, and Kiba leaned up, closing the narrow gap by pressing against Naruto's lips with his own. Naruto didn't respond at first, eyes wide with surprise, but Kiba was insistent and Naruto's lashes fell slowly before he returned the kiss. It was a chaste kiss, the sliding of lips and the tightening of fingers on Naruto's hips. Naruto moved his own hands to Kiba's shoulders and squeezed, eliciting a low noise from Kiba, before opening his eyes and pushing back. His left hand moved from Kiba's shoulder to the side of his neck, cupping the skin gently, and forcing Kiba to look up at him.
"But not…" Naruto whispered, "… not like that." Naruto grabbed Kiba's hands and moved them off his hips as he stood. Kiba sat up, elbows on his knees and hands between his legs.
Kiba let out a long, shaky sigh and, without looking up at Naruto, shifted his injured leg. "Shit," he said to the carpet. His dark brown hair shook and he finally looked up, still nodding. "I kinda knew that."
His grin was too lazy to be true but Naruto returned it nonetheless. "What happens now?" Naruto asked and moved back toward the couch. He didn't sit.
"We're best friends. I told you that wouldn't change. I won't leave you. I swore that, too. But, you need to answer my question. I think you owe me that."
"Kiba," Naruto said, but Kiba continued to stare back at him. Naruto moved back into his seat on the couch and sat with elbows on his knees. He held his chin in his fingers and turned his head so that he could see Kiba. "Yes. The answer is yes. I have been in love."
Sasuke slid to the floor.
"When?" Kiba asked. "Why haven't I ever seen..." Naruto's chuckle cut him off.
"Not many people do. See him, I mean."
Kiba just stared at him and Naruto continued, "I… um, I don't remember when I started loving him. But I do remember when loving him started to hurt."
Naruto closed his eyes and fell into the overstuffed cushions behind his back. Kiba shifted and his leg was once more in Naruto's lap. Without looking, Naruto gently wrapped his fingers around the bandage. Kiba sighed.
"Why did it hurt?"
Naruto rolled his head to the side and smiled at his friend. "Remember that teacher we had? Ebisu?"
"Yeah, that guy was a fucking prick."
Naruto's smile became a grin. "That he was. Remember when we did that lesson about what different phrases mean? Up a creek without a paddle… the road to hell is paved with good intentions…"
"Yes, I remember. I can't believe you do."
"Shut up, asshole," Naruto said with a mock glare. "How about 'a bird and a fish can fall in love'?"
"But where do they live," Kiba finished. "So you are telling me that you and your mystery man are a modern day Romeo and Juliet?"
Sasuke couldn't help the dark smirk that came to his face. God, if only they were that lucky.
"No," Naruto snapped playfully, "that would be you and your inner princess. Fuck, you have to get a better grip on that bitch." The weary way Naruto rubbed at the back of his head chased any lingering playfulness away.
Kiba shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, I'll work on that. Why didn't you ever say anything?"
"There are parts of this story," Naruto said slowly, "that are… unbelievable and maybe not mine to tell. His job makes it… hard, dangerous even."
"Why? Oh shit! Is he a spy? Oh man, there's no way I can compete with a 007."
Naruto shook his head, but his eyes shone with amusement. "I grew up with him, sorta." Naruto's words were slow and obviously calculated. Sasuke knew Kiba would be able to tell, but was glad that Naruto wasn't telling the whole story. They were already a high profile case in Heaven, no need for Naruto to 'out' heavenly beings.
Kiba brought his other leg up and itched at his bandage with his toe. Naruto swatted the foot away. Kiba flashed him an apologetic grin. "When did you know you were," the hesitation was hardly there, but everyone in the room noticed it, "in love with him?"
"I was thirteen, right after my grandfather died. We hadn't talked in years and he was there. I touched his hand and…" Naruto fiddled with the shining silver bracelet hidden under his sleeve. With a lackluster chuckle, he continued, "He took my breath away."
Sasuke's heart felt like it was beating in his throat, painful and unrelenting. He still sat on the floor, pressed against the wall, and hidden in the dark shadows. Naruto couldn't see him, but Sasuke could see the young man perfectly. He could see the emotions swirling in his eyes and count the soft breaths he took while trying to maintain what little control he felt he had.
Naruto loved him… loved him! He wanted to throw Kiba from the room and gather Naruto into his arms. He wanted to press his face into the warm skin on Naruto's neck and kiss away any lingering taste Kiba might have left, replacing it with his own.
But, he couldn't. Even if they both felt it –Naruto loved him!- it didn't change the fact that Naruto was right about two very important things. Sasuke was dangerous. And, he did take Naruto's breath away, not romantically like he was sure Kiba thought, but literally, deadly so.
Sasuke never touched anyone the way Kiba and Naruto touched. They touched casually, a smack to the shoulder, a quick hug that spoke volumes, or even when Kiba pulled Naruto onto his lap. Sasuke looked up and saw Naruto gently running his fingers over Kiba's ankle. Sasuke would never have that, and he was more jealous of that simple, unconscious touch than he was of a stolen kiss.
Fuck! Fuck! He grit his teeth and shut his eyes. What he really wanted to do was cry.
Kiba, who had been staring before a slow smirk curled his lips, said, "Took your breath away? Seriously, man? Whose inner princess needs the smack down now?"
Naruto laughed but didn't meet Kiba's grinning eyes. The hollow sound was like a knife to Sasuke's heart and he wanted Kiba to stop. This was hurting Naruto, couldn't he see that? And although Sasuke knew he was to blame, Naruto shouldn't have to go through this.
"He was always trying to get me to understand that we couldn't be together, but being with him, touching him…" Naruto shrugged and looked at Kiba with solemn eyes. "Nothing felt so right."
Kiba nodded and his earnest look made Naruto flinch even before the brown-haired man said, "I know the feeling."
"I'm so sorry," Naruto spoke and Kiba waved him off with a lazy hand.
"Why aren't you with him?"
"When I was nineteen, we met for the last time. We had a fight and I guess I finally realized what he had been trying to say to me my whole life. He… hurts me."
Sasuke brought his knees to his chest and rested his head on them. He wrapped his fingers behind his head and pulled viciously at his hair. "No, no, no," he whispered but his mind, his heart, his very soul sobbed inside him… yes.
Naruto's voice cut through his anguish like a clear twilling of a silver bell, "We said things. Things that hurt but needed to be said, and then I told him to fuck off. He'd won. I stopped calling him."
"Naruto," Kiba whispered, and something in his voice made Sasuke's head snap up. Naruto had laid his head against the side of the couch and closed his eyes. A single tear track slid silently down his cheek.
"So, yeah, I've been in love."
Silence filled the room and Sasuke's mouth twisted into a snarl when Kiba leaned forward, brushing his fingers over Naruto's and then holding them in his larger hand.
"Have been?" Kiba shook his head. "Man, do you know why people watch you when we are out?"
Naruto didn't lift his head and so when he shook it, his hair caught on the upholstery of the couch, strands of blond hair floating around his head with the static electricity he gathered.
Sasuke nearly choked when he found himself thinking it looked like a halo.
"'Cause I'm wee sexy?" Naruto joked, but even with the faked accent, his voice was dangerously flat.
Kiba arched an eyebrow but ignored the comment. "I know you picture him when you are dancing, whoever your secret agent Romeo is…"
"Hey, he can be Juliet!"
Kiba released a bark of laughter. "Whatever you say." He let go of Naruto's fingers and rubbed his face. "I'm trying to be serious here. You picture him and… oh, he takes your breath away… that's why you hold your breath. My god, man! I think I just threw up in my mouth. Fuck! Get your inner princess in check!"
Naruto growled a warning. Sasuke didn't try to stop the small smile that came to his lips. Naruto… Naruto loved him.
Kiba's cheeky grin turned into a soft smile and he reached out and squeezed Naruto's shoulder before leaning back against the couch. "It's because of your face. It's the epitome of love and longing and it is the most beautiful thing most of your 'watchers', including myself, have ever seen. Any one of us would kill to have you turn that look on us." Kiba moved his leg once more, planting it on the floor. "I guess what I'm saying is, Naruto, you are still in love with him. There is no 'have been' about it."
Naruto leaned forward as well and watched Kiba pull on his shoes. "You don't have to go," he said but Kiba didn't respond, concentrating on tying his shoe. "It doesn't matter, you know. He doesn't want me. Or he does, but he doesn't want to hurt me, but it doesn't fucking matter because it won't work. I don't want to try anymore."
Kiba stood slowly, accepting his crutch from Naruto. He made an amused noise before wrapping his free arm around Naruto's neck and pulling him into a tight hug.
Sasuke saw the way Kiba's eyes were pinched in pain and how he nuzzled the blond hairs over Naruto's temple. Part of him wanted to be jealous, scream at the boy to let Naruto go, but in the next moment, Sasuke wished he could let Naruto go… Kiba might never be good enough in Sasuke's eyes for Naruto, no one would, but he'd be damn close.
Kiba spoke softly, not releasing Naruto from his hug, "I appreciate you telling me the truth. It hurt and I wish it was different, but you are too kind to lie to protect my feelings. You would never lead me along like that."
He pulled away and patted Naruto's cheek with a cocky grin and serious eyes. "It's funny that you'd do it to yourself."
Naruto stood where Kiba left him long after his friend had left the dorm room. His eyes were closed and his arms hung limply at his sides. His soft breathing was the only noise in the room and Sasuke closed his own eyes, letting the rhythmic sound chase away all the chaotic thoughts the evening had brought up.
When the calming noise stopped, Sasuke's eyes snapped open and he stood gracefully from the floor. Naruto held his breath for so long Sasuke worried he might pass out, but then, Naruto released it with a soft rush of air and a quiet sigh.
"Sasuke."
To Be Continued…