A Few Uneventful Weeks Later+

Moze sat one seat behind her previous problem, not even looking up, not even thinking about him. She was working on a school paper, and her mind didn't even attempt to wander off. Not that she was particularly interested in said paper, it was just she didn't care, she really didn't even care about him, even a litte. But the won numbness came with a price; it wasn't only Ned she stopped caring about, it was everything. She still did her homework, but it wasn't A+ material. She still hung out with Cookie and Lisa (when Ned wasn't around, or if he was they she didn't even spare him a glance), but she didn't add to the conversations much, and she only laughed a little at their mischief. On the whole her numbness was what kept her sanity, and also what tore it away. After three weeks of feeling nothing, she was going mad.It's not just tha she didn't feel anything, it was that she couldn't. She discovered this one day, when her father came home early from a business trip in Japan and brought her home her favorite candy; Pocky. She smiled, a minute upturn of the lips, and said very politely, very evenly, "Thanks Dad," and gave him a peck on the cheek. She went back upstairs and tried to get excited; it was her favorite candy, and she hadn't had it in over a year. Her and her family were going on a camping trip the upcoming weeked, to her favorite camping ground, and yet, she couldn't get excited about it. But she didn't fret; she couldn't, fretting would be an emotion, and she was devoid of them all.

She soon forgot about her problem, if she could even consider it that, and so much sooner than she wanted, she got a new problem, and with it, the old one disappeared.

There was a new student. She was around Ned's height, not freakishly tall like Jennifer considered herself, with big blue eyes that matched Ned's to a Tee. She had shortish blonde hair, she was cute, loved video games, sports, and was a goofball; exactly like Ned. Perfect for him. Her name was Katie, and she had just moved all the way from Georgia, so she had a cute, but not too pronounced southern drawl. And boy did the guys drool all over her. But no matter how many guys persued her, she seemed to have eyes only for one; and you guessed it, Ned. And Moze hated her. She hated her with all of her being, because the way Ned looked at Katie would have melted Jennifer to her toes. Ned had gotten a new best friend, and what Moze feared above everything else, a soon-to-be girlfriend. Katie was worse than Suzie. Katie wasn't even competetive, she didn't care that Ned was sometimes an idiot, or that his jokes were sometimes corny, or that he had flaws, all the things that Jennifer used to pretend annoyed her, and all the things that had annoyed Suzie.

Katie was just... perfect. And for that Moze hated her. But the problem was, she was the only one who hated her. All of the other students thought she was so sweet, they just adored her. And that was when Moze's old problem melted away. The anger that Katie ignited in her melted away her icy interior, and she was just a ball of pent up rage, of pent up fury. Oh how she wished for the numbness back. She fought to regain her numb, for she could pretend everything was honky-dory when she was just blending in, peacefully numb, but know she avoided everyone, for fear they would figure out exactly why she was so god-damned angry. And that in itself was a problem. Jennifer, by nature, was a social butterfly, talking to anyone and everyone, and competetive as hell. She did regain a bit of numbness, but it went towards everything that wasn't Ned or Katie. with this new mixture of self-loathing, hatred, and partial numbness, she was being eaten alive by her own flames.

Before when anything was wrong with her she would tell Ned, or even after their falling out she had Lisa, but now... she was alone. For the first time in Moze's life, she was completely and utterly alone, and she hated it. At school she wanted to kill them, and with that thought came the self-loathing that had started when she realized she might've had a chance with Ned before, if only she hadn't tried so damned hard to be like Suzie (she hadn't even known she was doing it!). But at home it was the worst. She started bullying her little brother, whom she had previously gotten along with just fine (he sort of reminded her of Ned), and in between the sparse times she actually spoke to anyone, she was always holed up in her room, trying to forget, failing miserably, and crying. Everytime she thought about how Ned hated her, or how much she loved/hated him... and the fact that it had been so close, so right in front of her eyes... she never realized how much of a couple they had been, how much good they had between them, how important Ned had been to her. She used to think the worst thing in the world that could have happened would have been to move away, and even after that for Ned to die or something equally melodramatic, but she was so wrong. To go on living, with Ned right in front of her eyes, and to not be able to have fun with him... to talk to him, to acknowledge that he exists... that is the worst.

Though school it had gotten admittedly better.She had gotten to the point where she could be numb until she saw Ned, or thought about him or Katie. She had trained her mind to skirt that bottomless pit as best as she could. Things couldn't have gotten worse, until they did.

When Moze had started to feel safe again, after regaining some of her hard-earned numbness, she slowly began socializing again, and when she did, Cookie dropped a bomb-shell. "So Moze, what are you going to do this weekend?" Cookie asked a bit apprehensively, trying to step lightly around Moze's emotions. She shrugged.

"I suppose I'll be at home, again, watching my bratty little brother." She said blandly as she stared at her half-eaten cheeseburger, and untouched fries. "You?"

A wide grin spread across Cook's face like butter as he gave Lisa a meaningful look. "Me and Lisa are going on a double date with Ned and K- UFF!" Lisa had elboed him. Hard. But Moze hadn't noticed that. She dropped her fork onto her tray with a loud clatter.

"What did you... oh no." She whispered both, her numbness pulling out of her painfully, like the tide being sucked in before the Tsunami comes. "Oh no, no, no, no, no,no."

"Something wrong?" Cook asked, winded still from Lisa's attack.

"No, no, no.." Moze continued. She picked up her tray and hurried to get rid of it, before nearly sprinting into the Nurse's office. She could feel the wave looming above her head as she ran. "I think I'm going to be sick," she managed, before the Tsunami hit, and she vomited, tears raining like the salty water of the wave, coming because of her stinging throat, and shattered heart. And there she hit rock bottom.