Disclaimer: We all know I don't own them, so can we please get on with the story?

It didn't take long to find the clown- he hadn't really been hiding- and the Batman quickly cornered him in the warehouse. Not wasting anytime he got right to the point.

"Just what is your game this time, Joker?" He could feel Bruce's interest in this line of questioning but chose to ignore him in favor of the threat in front of him.

"Game? No game, my fine flying rodent, just a bit of fun!" Approaching the Batman the Joker put on a mock concerned expression.

"You do know what fun is, don't you? It's that thing you do when you're not being so serious." With a sudden leap the Clown Prince of Crime knocked Batman a hard blow to the head. As the vigilante lay dazed he saw a purple clad pair of legs crouch near him.

"Truthfully Batsy, I was just trying to show little Brucey a good time. It's sad to see someone not having a good time- especially when they could be having a great time with me!" The legs shifted and Batman could hear movement around him now.

'"Oh! that reminds me: I still owe him a night of fun! Seeing as how our last one was so rudely interrupted. Did you know I got jumped by cops tonight? Cops! How degrading! If Brucey hadn't been in such shock just from the ambush I would have taken the lot of them out."

Does this mean that he didn't hurt anyone because he was afraid of my reaction? Not having an answer he was willing to give to that Batman ignored Bruce and tried to focus on where he thought the Joker was standing now. A foot on his shoulder pushed Batman onto his back.

He was still woozy, but he would be up and about soon- he just hoped the clown would keep talking and not notice his recovery until it was too late. The Joker was looking down at him now with a contemplative look- that was never a good sign.

"I seem to have grown attached to him in record time." The green eyes looked through the vigilante without really seeing him. With a shake the mad man spread one of his signature smiles across his face.

"He's good company, but don't worry too much Batsy! I'm sure you'll always be my favorite!" Leaning down the clown pressed a kiss to a masked forehead. As he walked off he called over his shoulder.

"And don't go picking on Brucey about this now! He's a good kid and deserves more than being harassed by a crazed man in a bat costume." With a final laugh the Joker left the warehouse.

Not long after his exit, Batman had regained full use of his limbs. Climbing into the Batmobile he sped off home while ignoring the waves of happiness coming from behind his eyes.

As soon as he parked, Batman stalked passed Alfred to glare into the nearest mirror. He had put up with this quite long enough!

"Just what were you thinking tonight?! The Joker is my most crazed enemy! You can't make friends with him!"

"Hey! He was on his best behavior with me while we were out! And you heard it for yourself: he likes me! Between you and Wayne Corp I don't have a life of my own or any real friends! You spend most of your time obsessing over the Joker anyway, so why can't I be friends with him?!"

"Sirs?" Alfred finally cut in. Oh, how he hated watching his Master arguing with himself like this! If only there was a way to combine the two personalities back into one. But, alas, that didn't seem likely to happen anytime soon, if ever.

"What?!"

"Yes, Alfred?" Being addressed by two people in one body would always be confusing for the old retainer.

"A package arrived by special courier from the Joker for Master Bruce." Handing the box over the butler made his retreat. He had found it wise to never stay too close when Bruce Wayne and Batman were fighting.

Taking the box to an empty work table, Bruce was all set to tear it open; but Batman held him back. Carefully examining the package and running several tests he grudgingly announced that it would be safe to open.

Bruce stepped forward as Batman stepped back, and the billionaire set about opening whatever it was that the Joker had sent him.

It was all the tickets they had won at the arcade! And on the bottom of the box a note had been scrawled: See you again soon! J

With a growl Batman stalked off to his personal section of their shared mind. He couldn't stand to talk about this anymore!

Bruce rolled the tickets up and placed them back in the box. He would save them as a souvenir of the best birthday he had had since his parents... he wouldn't think about that.

Removing the Batsuit- he never liked wearing the thing himself and had always wondered how Batman could enjoy it- he headed up to his room for a quick shower and a lie down. He didn't know when the Joker would show up again, so he would try to be as ready as possible.

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

Three weeks passed and not a word was heard from the Joker by either Bruce or Batman, and Bruce had begun to listen when Batman told him that that night had been a fluke and not to expect too much from a psychopath.

For his part Batman had been trying to track down the money the Joker had gotten from Bruce, but was having no luck. It was as if it had simply vanished- just like the mad man himself. He was wondering just when the clown would make himself known again.

They were at a charity auction. Bruce and several other rich and eligible bachelors were being sold off like slabs of meat to the highest bidder to help orphans. They would have to take their winner out for a date, and the winner would hope to snag their hearts and their pocketbooks.

Bruce was the last up as they had been lined up alphabetically. When he stepped out on the small stage a bidding frenzy began.

"Twenty thousand!" From an old crone and her even uglier granddaughter.

"Thirty!" From somewhere at a table of plastic surgery nightmares.

"Fifty!" The Old Money began to weigh in. They would not let any of these New Money upstarts grab hold of the Wayne family fortune if they could help it.

"Sixty!"

"Seventy!"

"Seventy-five!"

"One hundred!"

Bruce was starting to feel sick. The only reasonably attractive person to bid on him had been pushed to the wayside long ago, and he didn't know how he would survive any length of time with the gargoyles bidding on him now.

Don't even think of asking me. I would do an even worse job than you. Batman said from his position behind Bruce's eyes. He was having a great time knowing that he wouldn't be the one having to entertain one of these air heads all evening.

With a silent groan Bruce turned his attention back to the room. It had been a thought at least.

The bidding had gotten up to two hundred thousand now, and only two tables were still going: the Old Money and the plastic surgery rejects.

Resigning himself to a torturous evening he almost missed the- very male- voice from the back of the room.

"One million dollars!" All heads turned to see who had bid such a high amount.

He was tall, trim and had an air of purpose and power that the Old Money approved of. He looked wealthy in a well cut dark plum suit and dark forest green shirt. His brown hair framed a charming angular face, he had a nice complexion and wore a smirk that made people feel he had just made a joke at their expense. No-one could see his eyes though- they were covered by round, purple tinted sun glasses.

As everyone took in the sight of the mystery man- mystery to everyone except a pissed off Batman and an exuberant Bruce- the auctioneer banged his gavel.

"Going once! Going twice! Sold! to Mr. Napier for one million dollars."

Bruce descended from the stage and made his way over the his date for the evening, and ignored all the whispers about his being bought by a man. It wasn't as if he had never been with a man before- he had never really cared what sex a person was as long as they were interesting- it had just never been in a public setting until now.

Giving a small, and unexpected, blush when the Joker- Mr. Napier, according to the auctioneer- kissed his hand, Bruce felt Batman ready himself to pounce on the disguised man in front of them.

Don't you dare! Would you rather have gone out with pig-face or skeletor? Not receiving a reply, Bruce took his silence as affirmation.

I thought not. Turning a smile towards his date Bruce leaned forward a bit so only his companion would hear.

"Thank you. I was so afraid I was going to be stuck with one of those monsters."

"Not a problem, Brucey! And now that I have you on legitimate terms... What say you to finishing out your birthday celebration? Hmm?" Letting his smile slip wider, Bruce had a better idea- one he was sure Batman would hate.

"My birthday was almost a month ago, so it wouldn't feel right to celebrate it. But... you did just buy a date with me. What say you let a lowly billionaire treat you to a dinner and a show?" Bruce could feel the shock radiating from Batman.

Did you just ask the Joker on a date? Have you gone insane?!

Looking at Bruce over the tops of his sun glasses, Joker gave a lecherous smile.

"Oh, Brucey! Do I get a good night kiss as well?"