A/N: Thank you guys for continuing to read this! ILY!
"Jess and I are driving to the mall, anyone want anything?" Nick offers generously(well not really generously, since he's using stolen money).
Coach and Schmidt stare at Nick for a few moments with an almost pitiful look.
"Oh Nick," Schmidt says sympathetically. "Jess, could you let us guys speak to Nick alone please?"
I shrug, slightly bewildered. I step out of the hall compliantly, my mood extremely lifted since yesterday evening(although I am terrified that Drunk Jess said something really weird to Nick, but I do that all the time anyways, and he doesn't seem to be keeping anything from me).
"Nicholas Miller what the Hell are you doing?" I hear Schmidt ask from behind the closed door of apartment 4D.
"What?!" Nick replies, completely confused.
"You can't go shopping with your ex girlfriend Nick!" Coach explains, as if this was obvious.
"Jess is more than an ex girlfriend!"
"Shopping implies that one day you will remove these clothes from her- which, unless you've been lying about being over Jess, you won't."
"I am over Jess, in fact, I have a date tonight! But that doesn't mean I can't build her dressers, or touch her upper boob, or go shopping with her!"
"I am 100% sure it actually means all those things,"
"Especially the boob one... That's just creepy man..." Coach adds.
"Umm guys," I say, cracking the door open to offer Nick an out. "We should probably get going soon if we want to actually find parking."
Nick smiles at me gratefully, and I can see that glistening beads of sweat have been forming at his hairline. His smile quickly reverts back to his totally-not-adorable Turtle face when he turns back to Schmidt and Coach on his way to the door.
I wonder what he lied about that caused his tell to start to become so visible. Had he lied about the date, or not loving me?
A date... Nick Miller has a date, it's one thing Nick being with someone physically, but emotionally is a whole different story, and I'm not sure what is worse. His lips may not have my lips as the last one they touched, but the last person they formed the words "I love you" to was me.
But I've been on over eleven awful dates, so I'm not really allowed to care at this point.
"What were you guys talking about?" I ask casually, as we step into the elevator together. A shiver rolls up my spine as a flashback flickers in the corners of my mind for only a few seconds. Nick's strong arms lifting me off the ground, Let's not think about it, I can't help but feel slightly twirly just remembering it, and noticing that Nick is wearing the exact same red shirt today that he was wearing then doesn't help matters much.
"Ugh, Schmidt and Coach were being stupid. They were saying that since we aren't a couple we aren't allowed to go to the mall together, which doesn't make much sense," Nick explains.
"Yeah that's just dumb right? I mean we went to the mall together before we went out!"
"Yeah!" Nick agrees, and silence emerges, followed by the opening of the elevator doors.
After a long car ride sprinkled with a few laughs and Nick cursing because we managed to hit every single red light in LA, we eventually make it to the mall.
"So how do broken up couples go about the mall?" Nick inquiries, masking his odd question with a satirical cover up. He fans himself with Schmidt's credit card, that is finally full of money again due to Schmidt's new sponge thing. "Do we like… Separate? I mean…" Nick trails off, unable to articulate his thoughts.
"You mean you'll have a better time if we hang out together," I offer, shooting Nick a Jessica Day smile that I reserve for him. He returns with one of his own, nodding with relief that my feelings agree with the feelings he has serious impairment speaking about…
I wish all of our feelings agreed like that, I thought, remembering Nick's date tonight.
"What sort of things are you going shopping for? Are you buying new clothes for your date?!" I ask Nick, thickening my voice with faux excitement, trying as hard as I can to forge it into reality. Maybe helping Nick get ready for his date will in return help me move on! Like setting some sort of example!
"No eww, clothes shopping Jessica? What do you take me for? I get my clothes by clicking a few buttons online, or stealing them from the neighbors," He winks, and I know we're both remembering his hot-to-trot ladies coat. "Wait… How did you know I had a date?" He realizes.
I shrug. " I overheard you and Schmidt talking. And of course you should buy new clothes for your date! Make an impression Nick! Find another confidence coat! I'll help you! I'll be your date fashion designer!" I exclaim enthusiastically, attempting to focus all my negative jealous energy into this project.
Nick makes his turtle face, having some sort of internal debate in his mind. I widen my already overly large blue eyes, blinking rapidly for a few moments. Nick's turtle face flattens out as his eyes squeeze tightly shut to try to block out my puppy dog eyes from view, but after five seconds of trying, he gives in.
"Fine," He says, with a mixture of reluctance and satisfaction at the bright smile radiating from my face. "But you only have twenty minutes… And first we're going to the store with the cool massage chairs… And I'm going to that fancy pen store and buying one of the super expensive fancy pens to inspire me to write my next zombie novel."
I can feel my eyes roll up at the ceiling as he speaks. I have an urge to grab his hand that's so strong I begin digging my freshly manicured nails into my own palm to distract myself. I shut my eyes so the world is as dark as possible for just a few moments, trying to get rid of any feeling of wanting to physically touch Nick Miller, but my will to fight completely dissolves when Nick, unthinking, laces his fingers through my own.
I can tell that he realizes his mistake instantaneously, and is wondering if pulling his hand away will make things more or less awkward, and decides on a weird mix between the two in which he pulls my hand along with his and backwards.
I know how to make hand holding completely normal though, lucky for Nick. I scan the mall for a place that sells cool cheap guy clothes for Nick's date, but I'm distracted by the most adorable dresses in the window of a store right across from where we're standing. I grin excitedly.
Tugging at Nick's hand, I begin racing across the mall, dragging him behind, giving our hand holding a clear purpose other than physical contact, which makes it completely okay. Nick's turtle face returns full force when he realizes what sort of store we have entered.
"Jess please tell me we aren't dress shopping please," He begs, remembering the few nightmare inducing times we went dress shopping together as a couple (And the orgasm inducing time we had sex in the dressing room).
"Hey! I came to the mall today to specifically buy dresses! You chose to tag along, which means you have to endure at least a half an hour, probably more! Now come one lets look around!"
I feel Nick's fingers and my fingers untangling themselves, our hands dropping apart, causing a small dip in the emotions coursing through me. Dress shopping I remind myself.
"Oh my God Nick look at this!" I demand, holding up a completely adorable dress, covered in small pictures of various dogs. Nick wrinkles his nose.
"That would just make it look like their are two bitches sitting on your boobs," he remarks, earning yet another eyes roll with a nod of slight agreement. I put the dress back.
"Picking out dresses, I love dresses, pretty pretty dresses, how beautiful are thee," I sing loudly on the spot, smirking at Nick's groan of absolute irritance from behind me.
In approximately ten minutes, I've found what I believe to be the cutest dresses in the store, one with a blue floral pattern separated by a line of black. I hold the fabric up for Nick to see.
His mouth curves upwards into a small smile, and I can't help but feel bad at how bored he must be, considering as of now he's making up a secret handshake with a mannequin.
"It will go with your eyes," He says truthfully. "Now can we leave now?" He asks eagerly.
"Ha!" I laugh a bit overzealously. "I have to try them on!"
Nick shoots daggers at me with his eyes, but if they were real daggers most of them would be hitting my boobs since that's been Nick's primary staring stop for the last good ten seconds.
I skip to the dressing room and Nick follows awkwardly, unsure how far he can follow me until it becomes weird.
We've always been so bad at not crossing that imaginary line between couple and friends. It's even worse now that we have crossed the line before.
I let my mind wander for a second pondering what I actually want Nick to do. What if he followed me into the dressing room, locked the door, pinned me against the door and kissed me like it was the first time all over again? What if on the way to the next store he holds my hand even longer? What if he accidentally says he loves me?
What if I accidentally said that I loved him last night?
You're allowed to still love him but not want to be with him, I remind myself.
He doesn't follow me into the changing room, and he doesn't pin me against a wall, or say he loves me. Our separation really rubs itself in my face when I hear the click of the door lock behind me, leaving me and my dresses alone, with no one to zip them up.
A/N: Seriously thank you guys for reading so much! Please Please Please leave a review if you have the time! Anyone who's a writer will understand how motivating that sort of feedback is!
I love y'all! Review if you can!