Jemma has been under at least three months a little more by Grant's calculations. It's hard to track days when he's confined as he is. He's actually really proud of her. He will never say it aloud, but he is.

He isn't at all surprised to see Coulson or Trip. When Triplett raises his gun he paused almost mid stride. He can't help but hold his breath something his very, very wrong. He eyes Coulson but does not speak. As Coulson lowers the barrier he feels a little sick. Coulson hands him a phone. "It's for you."

He has to will his voice not to shake as he says a single word. "Jemma."

Her voice shakes. "Grant I don't know where I am-"

The voice that cuts her off with its southern lilt puts ice in his veins. "Naughty, English Pea. Those were not my instructions." He took a disappointed breath. "I told her to tell you to move fast son before I correct your mistake."

The line went dead in his hand. "We have to move now!" he steps over the line that spelled out his captivation with no thought already headed for the stairs.

"Who says you're going anywhere? Fitz says from the doorway.

He doesn't have time for this. He has to get to Jemma. He looks at Fitz desperately trying to contain his anger, "I'm your only option Fitz and Coulson knows it."

"You hurt her again and I-"Fitz threatens his fear palpable to the entire room.

Grant just tells him the truth. "We love the same person Fitz. We have to go now." He turned toward Coulson. "She's in a little backwater town just outside Jackson Hole on hunting grounds. I can find it easy but that was Garrett's whole idea."

This is personal.

=/=/=

The bus had always felt like home but now it just feels foreign. He wished they had just given him a Quintjet and just let him fly solo. This was his fight, his problem, his girl to save. He can't sit still once their flight pattern is set he gets up to pace. Trip follows him. He doesn't care. He pilots himself without thought to Jemma's bunk.

He shouldn't go in he knows that but he can't stop himself. He needs to be around her things. It motivates him. So that he remembers why he will cross him off. And he will with his bare hands.

All her effects are all unchanged. The pictures of them are gone or put away maybe. Jemma's not a really "Burn Your Shit" kind of woman.

He picks up her perfume because her scent a thing he never thought he'd miss but he seriously does "Invasion of her privacy much dude?" Trip says before he can inhale the flowery scent. He sits bottle back in its place.

He looks over his shoulder at the other man. "She's not nearly as innocent and modest as you think. I just need to stand here a second." He takes a deep breath and taps out their little Morse code message on her door frame. "Okay," He steps out having been re-centered.

"Does she believe that you love her?" Trip asked having caught the Morse.

Grant leans on Jemma's bunk wall arms crossed "It doesn't really matter what anyone believes I know what I know and I love her. None of you think it's real? That's fine works in my favor even. If you doubt it maybe Garrett does too. It'll make him easier to kill."

"How so?" Trip pushed.

"It's not curiosity that kills the cat, that's just what traps it. It's Over Confidence that kills." He answered.

They let him suit up and then he's frog marched back to his seat for the remainder of the flight. He's left to wonder if he had prepared Jemma enough to survive the unthinkable until he can get to her.

=/-

The woods smelled fresh of spring, like the winter frost had only barely permeated the surface, allowing the trees to flourish and flower. He could smell the pine, see the lilac. This place at one time meant serenity, purity to him. A new meaning of life. Back then, when he'd been abandoned here, it was a way to hone in on what he'd been taught. Now it was a place of fear, one he never wanted her to see.

The firefight had been left behind while the team covered him with just enough leash to get to Jemma. Garrett's Hydra groupies kept them busy long enough for him to be alone. That's what this was all about after all. Being alone, with Garrett to either make it right, or go down trying to save the only thing he ever really loved.

His comm was filled with chatter and ricochets'. So much so that he couldn't focus for once and yanked with force the earbud from his ear. The spiral black cord bouncing off his shoulder. He crouched down to survey the area. He saw no external threat, only confirming this is what Garrett wanted. Cronies to cover the team while he had at it with Ward.

"I can see you Ward." Garrett taunted as he emerged from the cabin door, Jemma held at gun point close to his chest. Grant looked her over and while he saw no proof of injury, he knew emotionally, her barricade was barely holding. Grant fired off a warning shot from his 9mm, intentionally missing. As Garrett was distracted, he sprang from his crouched position, on the immediate attack.

Jemma was thrown to the ground forcefully as Grant knocked the pistol from Garrett's hand. The two landing back into the cabin with a loud bang.

It all happened so quickly, the struggle, the boxing match, moves that only a select member of Garrett's group could know were all being thrown. As Jemma got to her feet, Grant and Garrett came crashing through the window, glass flying everywhere and she had to duck to avoid injury, turning away from the ball of men now in the dirt. Garrett had Grant on his back, lefts and rights connecting deeply. Jemma noticed a gun tucked into the back of Garrett's waistband. She had to act fast or it would be too late but the nearest gun was now attached to him or across the porch. She scrambled for the end of the porch only reaching the discarded weapon as three loud gun shots rang out.

She turned quickly, pistol raised and fired. If she missed, she'd be dead. Garrett would be able to recharge and that would be the end of her.

She didn't miss thankfully. The bullet found its way home in the base of Garrett's skull hitting him directly in the brain stem. Short circuiting his body's ability to regenerate with GH-325 much less breathe at all. As Garrett's body falls to the side of Grant She can see the damage left behind by three shots she had heard. "Oh no." She laments rushing to his side.

-/-/-

Grant is pretty sure his back is broken. His lung is punctured and he's likely bleeding internally. It's what he gets for letting a robot beat him up, toss him out a window, then shoot him multiple times. He'd always known he was going into this fight sorely outmatched the definition of the underdog. Fuck dying hurts.

He hears a definite bang and then Garrett's body slumps off him.

Then Jemma is kneeling next to him babbling "I'll fix it! I can fix it. I just need my things…Help!" She uses her hands to pressurize the worst of all very mortal wounds. "Help me! Please bloody fucking help me!" She screams sobbing. He hates this Jemma has never had opponent she couldn't beat. Karma is coming at him full bore and they both know it.

He pulls her hands away from his wound. One of them anyway. That one was a gut shot. Ouch. "Jem stop trying to save me."

"No I-"She goes to put her hands back.

"I don't have long." He cupped her face in his hand. "Look at me Jemma. No matter what history will or won't say about me or the choices I've made the only one that matters is that I loved you." He smiled at her wiping away a stray tear with his thumb. Man he loves her. He's going to miss her most.

She kissed his cheeks and finally on the mouth he sinks into the sensation. It drives away the cold taking over his body. "I love you Grant so much more than I could have ever hoped to hate you. I can fix this." She confessed ever hopefully.

"You can't babe. I'm going to die."

"But I don't want you too. "She said trying and failing to hold back a sob.

"I know. You know as far as last times go ours wasn't bad. Never thought sex in a prison cell was something I'd even want to cross off the bucket list." That startles a laugh from her.

"Truly Grant now isn't the time for jokes love." She reprimands shaking her head; some of the tears abate as she gripes at him, Good.

"Made ya smile." He said totally unrepentant. "And I got the love… it's a win."

"We should have been teachers after Skye erased us." Jemma said with a wet sniffle.

"Agreed. Fewer bullets, nice simple life…couple kids and a dog. I always liked it here. It was peaceful made me feel something…" he coughed "Like whole. Bury me here in the clearing please…I'm a traitor to both sides this seems like the best place." She nods affirmative with tear filled eyes.

He pulls her into one final kiss. Something to take with him into hell.

-/-/-

She doesn't want them to end this way. She'd never wanted them to end at all. He no longer has the strength to speak so here she sits in the grass with his blood creating little muddy rivers that flow around her bent knees. She cradles his head in her lap. His breathing is hitched and ragged like he's fighting for every shallow breath. His eyes flutter closed and then open again as they simply breathe in the same space hers even… his not. "You can go love, you kept your promise. I'm safe, you caught me. I won't leave you. It's not okay that this is goodbye…" she leaned down to kiss him a final time. "But it's the only one we have…so just go. You're safe. You are loved." She gives him the permission he needs to leave her. A soldier's last order.

His eyes close and his breathing just stopped. It's over. At least for him.

-/-

The pain of the loss is sharp. So sharp that it goes numb. Like someone had taken a cetaline torch to her heart. She knows as if she is observing from outside her own being that those broken sobs are coming from her.

She can hear Fitz approaching and then. "Bloody hell." He steps back quickly she assumes to get Coulson. They begin to encroach around them she feels needlessly and insanely protective of him or maybe it's the both of them she wants to protect.

Maybe if she holds them off long enough this moment will cease to exist.

She can name the things she sees on her team's faces but she'd rather not name the feelings because it makes it worse their pity, relief, regret, sadness. It's all there and the worst part is they aren't her team anymore. She's been under long enough that they function differently.

Even Fitz seems to be autonomous to her. She'd expected as much but it stings. They've stopped being Fitzsimmons. She wants to be mad at Grant for that but she just can't find the energy.

Fitz bless him reaches out to gather up but She can't help the sharp reprimand in her eyes even as she's crying them out because if she leaves him here her love, if she leaves him here in the dirt covered in blood, bits of grass, and his own insides it's real he's dead and there is no fixing the fairytale. No matter how deeply buried the hope it dies the minute, the second she reaches her feet. "Do not touch me." She sucks back tears to command him.

Coulson ignoring her demand scoops her up. "He would not want that Simmons. He wouldn't want you laying over him in grief unwilling to move on. He made you tougher than that and we all know it." He says as he carries her off. She doesn't move or fight him because one he's right and two He wears the same cologne as her father. The smell is comforting enough to let her relax a fraction.

On the bus Coulson places her in the shower stall and Skye joins her to help. Jemma is too the catatonia stage of shock. In this moment she sees nothing but kindness in Skye as she undresses her and washes away the blood streaking Jemma's body.

As Skye washes grant's blood from her hands tears threaten but she holds it in. She notices a nasty looking cut on Skye's arm. "OH that needs seeing too Skye." She says leaning forward to inspect it.

"You're my only concern right now Simmons." Skye says gently and those tears flow quietly.

"I've cocked everything up. You all must hate me."

"For getting kidnapped by Captain Fuck off…" Skye attempts to joke.

"No, for loving him as I did. He was a traitor. A murder, I never forgot that." She replied.

"You love who you love Jemma it's just that simple." Skye returned.

-/-/-/

When she steps from her cabin dressed in sweats and a tee shirt Fitz wraps her in the tightest of hugs. "Oh hi, yes I- I needed this." She wraps Fitz in her arms and hugs back as they sway with the force of the hug,

He pets down her wet hair. "I've missed you fiercely Leo." She said softly.

"Likewise Jemma." He kissed her temple before letting her go.

-/-/=

She thinks the worst is over after the briefing it's not. She goes to find a cream to treat Skye's cut and Mack tries to block her from entering the lab. There on the lab table where she and Grant had once had fun happy sex filled with shushed laughter and tentative touches now lays a body bag.

She thinks she may vomit where she stands. She doesn't she sobs so hard she covers her mouth to hold in in the noise that threatens to take up the entire plane.

=/=/=

They release his body to her on a Tuesday it rains. That seems fitting to Jemma. Coulson has to do some fancy foot work to circumvent Grant's congressmen brother but it's done.

She picks out a deep blue suit her favorite one. Along with a tie she'd bought him at The Hub's PX. It's a kitschy little tie with guns and bullets on it that he'd never had a use for it. He'd never worn it but the casket will be closed so she decides Grant would like the oddity of it.

-/-/-/-

She dresses simply. In a plain black dress. It's short but otherwise modest with long sleeves and a square neckline. She pulls her hair into a simple chignon and does her make up plainly. She takes the wild flowers meant for his casket with her and he heads to her car.

The drive to the clearing is actually beautiful. She'd been too fearful in the midst of her kidnapping and the horrible aftermath to notice the minimal beauty the scenery contains. She drives in silence because the only things that come through on the radio are very anti-SHIELD talk radio shows and a classic country station.

Garrett had played that station for her entire captivity. She thinks she'll never again hear "Gentle On my Mind" without feeling like she could retch at a moment's notice.

The path to the spot she'd chosen to bury him is nothing but a winding bumpy dirt road. She parks off to the side and picks a careful path to stand next to the coffin. He'll come to rest under a cottonwood tree a good distance from the cabin she's ignoring the existence of.

The pastor she'd paid to say just the bare minimum of words seems to be waiting for more mourners. Sadly… "It's just me." She said.

"Not quite…" comes from behind her. She's surprised to find Bobbi Morse striding over to her side. Jemma had taken her personal leave to bury Grant. She'd known her team that really wasn't her team anymore wouldn't want to bid farewell to their deepest betrayer no matter how much Jemma had loved him.

"I know what it is to love a man with a complicated heart." She took Jemma's hand. "And no one should bury a loved one alone." Morse squeezes her hand and nods for the pastor to begin. His words fuzz out of her mind.

She thinks of their first meeting and how she knew she was going to like him just by the way he looked at her as she explained what she was searching for. She thinks of the way his laughter sounded when he was relaxed. The way he slept with his hands on her at all times as if he feared she'd vanish. The way his kisses felt different when they were secret.

If the love they had cultivated had not been shadowed by betrayal it'd have been a lovely thing and ultimately he'd still be alive.

She's not sure why silent tears are dripping down her face because she honestly thought she had none left to spill but she guessed that theory was disproven as she cried.

The pastor finishes and he and Morse step away. She can find no words to say. A rare occurrence for her.

She taps out. "I love you." Against the wood off the coffin. She placed the blue bonnets on the box holding Grant.

She turns and walks away a final time.

Fitz is there leaning on her rental. "You didn't have too come. Thank you." And she feels like crying all over again.

"I love you Jemma. That means I show up for you." He said candidly.

-/-/-

Happiness returns to her in increments. Like light seeping through cracks it comes in the form of helping Fitz regain himself and in her work. She likes undercover work and keeps at it. Science is still her thing but sometimes she likes being other people. It gives her different stories to live. And one day she bumps into a stranger on the street and the way he smiles at her gives her enough hope to try again.

Because life as Grant would say is in the choices you make. She chooses to love Grant forever and she will but she also chooses to be happy. To reach for it. To discover it and keep it.

I own nothing. I hope you enjoyed! Blue bonnets are the state flower for Texas where their first date took place. If you liked it please tell me!-MM