Chapter three: The future must be met, however stern and iron it be. -E. Gaskell

Elizabeth thoughts were at Pemberley this evening more than the last, and the evening though as it passed it seemed long, was not long enough to determine her feelings towards one in that mansion; she lay awake two whole hours to make them out. What were her real feeling towards Mr. Darcy? Were to shameful to reveal? She certainly did not hate him. Hatred had vanished long ago and she had almost been ashamed of ever feeling a dislike against him. The respect created by the conviction of his valuable qualities, though at first unwillingly admitted, had for some months now a friendlier nature. It was not only his warm disposition, which he produced the last time she saw him, but it had something more to to do with the fact that he was perfectly amiable. But above all, about respect and esteem, there was a motive within her, that couldn't be overlooked. It was gratitude. Gratitude not merely for having once loved her,but for his good will to change his character because of her. Such a change in a man of so much pride, astonished her. She had come now to respect and esteem him. She felt a real interest in his welfare and she often troubled herself thinking if he still possessed his affection towards her. Could he?

But then again, such thoughts were not even allowed to be made. She was not in the position to even dream of such a thing, after all it's been a year of not seeing him and surely he would have turned his addresses to a more suitable partner, or more accurately saying, to an accomplished lady.

Elizabeth now possessed some other feelings, it was not mere jealousy, it was more like grief, though she hardly knew of what. She became desperate for his esteem, when she could no longer hope to be benefited by it. She was convicted that she could have been happy with him;when no longer likely they should meet. She should have given up on hope many months ago,but in vain she could not. Passion always comes first, whether we want it or not.

She clearly remembered the last time she saw him and it felt like yesterday. It was the day when Jane's letter arrived, concerning the terrible news about Lydia eloping with Wickman. Darcy was there to comfort her, but that did little good. How could she forget such a painful day? He had given her the impression that he wanted nothing to do with her and that was very understood. He had suffered and tolerated her embarrassing family for so long and that was the cross line. Darcy would never accept the man who destroyed his sister as a brother-in-law and Elizabeth knew very well that his propriety wouldn't allow it.

It was Jane's presence, which interrupted Lizzy from her thoughts. She came silently and sat next to her on the couch; the sisters entangled their fingers and for a brief moment, they hugged. Elizabeth 's deep breath broke the silence between them.

"What is it dear Lizzy? What distresses you so?" Jane asked with tenderness.

"It's really nothing Jane" she lied.

"You know you can talk to me Lizzy"

"Yes, I know" she immediately responded. "Tell me about Mr. Bingley, I dearly wish to know what the two of you talked"

"There's nothing more to say. Only one thing distresses me, you see I'm not afraid of myself, but I dread other people's remarks."

"Then I shall hear none, however dreadfully I'm tempted" she laughed.

Jane laughed as well. "Stop it Lizzy"

"Seriously now, what did you feel when you first saw him after all this time?"

"I felt perfectly at ease, I think" she paused and took her sister's hand. "I now know my own strength. At least now, we can meet as indifferent acquaintances."

"Yes, very indifferent indeed" Elizabeth replied.

"He and his sisters invited us for dinner tomorrow"

"Then we shall attend, don't you think?"

"Yes, of course." Jane smiled openly.

"Did you tell him about Papa?" Elizabeth asked and her voice almost broke. It was a painful subject to touch and everytime she mentioned his name, she tried so hard not to cry.

"No" she paused. "I only mentioned that we are currently living in our uncle's house, but nothing more than this."

"I see."

"She apologized to me Lizzy, can you believe it? He told me that he really regretted leaving from Netherfield so promptly." She paused "And of course, I forgave him, how could I not?"

"At least someone will marry well in our family" she laughed.

"That's cruel Lizzy!"

"Oh Jane, do you not see that more things have been ruined, than our broken hearts due to his death?"

Jane's eyes widen and she took a deep breath "Our changes of good marriage have not been materially damaged by our current circumstances."

Elizabeth smiled and gave her sister a quick hug. "Our changes of marriage were not always great, now I should say that there are none existence" she paused "Who will want to marry us when our circumstances are so low? Mr Darcy made that very clear to me"

"Mr Darcy?" Jane asked surprised.

"Yes, he was present when your letter came to me about Lydia's elopement. He was very kind and gentle,but realizing how low our position in the society would soon be, he made it clear that he wanted nothing more than to be out of my sight. Given now that our circumstance is even lower, how lucky he must be feeling for his escape"

"Oh Lizzy.." she paused "Do you think that he's still in love with you?"

"I don't know what he was a year ago,but he would probably have already found a more suitable woman to turn his addresses to." She smiled as though she didn't care. "All I know is that he or any respectable man would want nothing to do with any of us."

"You cannot possibly believe that Lizzy..."

"Oh no, he's just being kind. That is all." She paused. "But, I am sure that Mr Bingley will renew his addresses, you will see."

"I'm not not at all sure Lizzy and frankly I'm quite consent with that"

"Have a little fate my dear" she smiled "Love is a powerful thing."

"If so, why hasn't he proposed to me when he had the chance to? It's been a year"

"Oh Jane.." Elizabeth said and immediately thought of Darcy's letter, which explained the reason. But the truth, could not be revealed. It would only make things worse and Jane was such a fragile creature that couldn't possibly accept it. It would hurt her deeply and Elizabeth didn't want that. It was not her business to take part in, she should better leave things as they were and if Mr. Bingley truly loved Jane he should act to win her back. Something deep in her, told her that it wouldn't take long.

Dinner with the Bingleys wasn't a pleasant affair, at least that's what Elizabeth thought. Mr. Bingley most of the time, engaged Jane to conversation as it was expected and Elizabeth unfortunately had to put up his sisters. Thank God that her aunt and uncle were there, people she always liked to converse with. Observing the gentleman of the house, she could quite confidently say that he still cared for Jane and that made Elizabeth very happy, indeed. She only hoped that his sisters this time, would not be an obstacle. She knew very well that Darcy would not now object to his friend happiness, he had explained her that the only reason for his interference was that he believed Jane to be indifferent. After all, Elizabeth trusted him now with her life, there was no reason to doubt him.

When tea was served, Elizabeth tried to sit as much away she could from Miss Bingley. She knew very well that she did not like her at all and the sentiments was mutual, but still, the lady didn't miss any chance to put Elizabeth in a difficult position. She would either comment on her exquisite qualities compared to Elizabeth's or she would either make a remark that could bring her in an uncomfortable position. But that was not a surprise for her, she could even excuse her jealousy towards her person. Caroline had noticed that Elizabeth had Darcy's attention and just because she longed for it, a vain person as her could not tolerate it.

"Miss Eliza, pray tell me, how is Mrs Wickman? Is she getting used to her life beside a man in the army?" Miss Caroline Bingley asked and drew all the attention, as she hoped for.

"Yes, indeed. She is very well." Elizabeth confidently replied

"But, I'd thought that it would be very hurt for a mother to lose her daughter from such young age."

"No, she didn't mind at all. I believe she has too many matters to think on than this."

"Do you intend to stay for the entire season?" Bingley asked looking at Jane.

She simple nodded and looked at her sister.

"But, Miss Elizabeth, you must miss Longburn terribly. I clearly remember you telling me that you loved it." The gentleman continued.

Elizabeth frowned, now it was time. "It's not any longer ours to miss."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

Elizabeth,who was unable to continue, looked at her aunt, hoping that could save her. You see, she hadn't even the strength to pronounce the words.

"You see, Mr Bingley, Mr Bennet died, almost nine months ago. Mr Collins is now the legal owner of the estate."

Everyone's mouth opened and an awkward silence prevailed, making it unbearable. Everyone paid their respects and apologised as it was proper. After a long pause, the first one who spoke was Mr Gardiner, addressing to the other gentleman, saying that he would really like to invite them to dinner next Friday. He gladly accepted. They afterwards talked about this season and what London had to offer, they even commented on the upcoming balls and gatherings. Soon, as it was getting dark, the Gardiners with the ladies had to leave and the dinner had been arranged as a farewell.

AN: Hello my dear readers! I just want to tell you that Darcy would appear on the next chapter, I hope that you are excited. Do not forget to review, even few words will do. Your feedback gives me the fuel to continue and update as soon as possible.