Chapter 3: Vertical Horizon

Then I noticed him, the little boy from the pictures peering out from behind Peytons leg.

"Hi. I'm Luke." I said kneeling down to the small childs eye level.

… and as I looked into his eyes it dawned on me… the slight slant of his blue eyes, his dirty blonde hair… the way the dimples showed in his cheeks effortlessly, and then he spoke…

"I know. I'm Ben and you're not my daddy. Nathan is."

Woah.

"He that never changes his opinions, never corrects his mistakes, and will never be wiser on the morrow than he is today." Tryon Edwards

I looked back at the boy and then to Haley… and then back to the boy, my son. Benjamin Eli Scott . I remember the day that he was born… the first time that I held him in my arms. When he smiled he had the dimples of his mother and it seems that he also seems to have inherited her raspy voice.

"Alright!" Rachel finally interrupted sweeping Ben onto her free hip. She still had a baby girl on the other. "How would you like to come over to my house and have some pizza with Me and Charlotte and Gracie."

She offered to the little boy who still had his eyes locked on me. Finally after realizing what Rachel said he spoke.

"Is Uncle Mouth gonna be there too?" His face lit up. Rachel and Mouth, go figure.

"Yup! And we can eat pizza and candy and stay up late-"

"Racheeeellllllll" Haley said warningly

Peyton quickly smirked.

"That's exactly why your three year old is medicated." She chided Rachel

"She's just high strung." Rachel quickly shot back as she glanced down at the little red headed girl who was picking holes in her tights.

"Momma, can I go to dinner?" Ben pleaded with Haley

"Yeah baby." Haley mouthed a thanks to Rachel who then handed my son to Peyton and then they headed out again.

For awhile after they left no one spoke. Thoughts were reeling in my head. Why are Nathan and Haley raising Ben? Where is Brooke now that she is not in Tree Hill? Did she abandon our son too? She couldn't have. From the minute that that little boy was born he was her life.

"So Ben lives here with you?" I ask finally

"Yes." Haley said simply as she stared me dead in the eye.

We were sitting alone at the dining room table waiting for Nathan. Although we were feet away from each other it felt like we were worlds apart.

"How, um, how long has-" I could get the words out, I couldn't get my thoughts together. I had expected anything but this.

"He's been with us almost four years."

I thought back and did the math. I had left when Ben was four months old, which means since he is five now Brooke had him for eight months, that's a year right there. So the other four years of his life, the majority of his life, he has been raised by Nathan and Haley.

"And where is Brooke, does she talk to him? Does she see him?" I ask anxiously as I wring my hands together.

"Like I said before, she comes around." Haley was not revealing much, at all.

Out of nowhere the door swings open and footsteps approach us from the hall.

"What the hell is he doing here?"

I turn to face my little brother. I hadn't seen him in four years. He is a man now, Nathan. I never thought that I would ever see him standing before me in a suit for anything but a basketball formal day or maybe a funeral, but low and behold here he is standing in front of me in a suit, with a briefcase, holding a puppy under his arm.

"What is that?" Haley asked pointing to the dog that was happily licking Nathan's face.

"It's the puppy that I promised my son for being so patient with the long hours I've been putting in at work." Nathan said still not taking his eyes off of me.

I realize now my error in assuming that Haley was going to get back again. Nathan, Nathan would be far harder. He looked at me with a little bit of shock, a little bit of annoyance, and if I read his countenance correct a little disgust.

"Hales, can I talk to Lucas please?" Nathan asked still not taking his eyes from me

"No." Haley said firmly shocking Nathan and I both. "Ben is my son too and any conversation that you will have concerning him you can have in front of me."

Nathan looked from Haley, and then to me before he spoke.

"What are you doing back here?" Nathan breathed out taking a seat at the table with Haley and I.

Should I tell them the truth? Should I tell them how lost I have been the past few years? Should I tell them that I regretted everyday that I spent away from my family and that regret ultimately kept me away? Maybe I should tell them that I am a cowards who couldn't face his responsibilities. Maybe I should tell them that my time is running out… I feel my heart palpitate in my chest. I have to calm down. Getting worked up will not help this situation.

"It was time I guess." Finally I spoke

"What do you mean it was time?! The time would have been when Brooke needed you or when your son said his first words and when he took his first steps!" Haley fumed.

I half expected Nathan to try to calm her but he didn't.

"I couldn't live with myself anymore." I confessed. "I couldn't live with not knowing how you guys were, I couldn't deal with not knowing my son."

"So what Luke, you expect to come back and everything be great? You think we can be one big happy family?" Nathan challenged me.

" I don't know."

"Dude," Nathan began and from his tone I knew where this was heading "you left your son no better than our father left you. You knew the hurt that you felt and you went and did it to your own boy! It took me awhile to understand the relationship with you and Keith but I do now. It's what Ben and I have. That boy is not my nephew Luke, he is my son and I'll be damned to let you try to take him away from the only home that he has ever known. He deserves better than to be abandoned."

His words were the truth. His words were part of the reality that I have been avoiding the past four years. My dad left me. I left Ben.

"I'm not trying to take your place Nathan, but I want to know my son. I have the RIGHT to know my son."

"I'm not so sure about that." Nathan said as he stood up and looked around. "Where's Benji?"

"He's at Rachels." Haley said meeting her husbands eyes as she watched him grab his keys. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to spend some time with my son." And with that Nathan was gone.

Haley and I sat in silence for a while. I had never been so torn. Finally Haley turned to me and spoke.

"I hope you know what you're doing Luke." Haley said before heading upstairs. "Oh yeah," she stops midway up. "There is a couch in the basement and spare blankets in the chest under the coffee table."

I nod in response. At that moment I was unable to drudge up any words.

Chapter 4: Age of Innocence

"DADDY" Ben said running to the door as soon as the Nathan stepped into the Gattina-McFadden household.

"No, no Charlotte honey don't touch ANYTHING!" Rachel screamed at her three year old who was drawing pictures with grape jelly on the porcelain white walls.

The girl looked at her mother mischievously as she placed both hands on the wall rubbing them from side to side making one big, jelly, mess.

"Hey Rach." Nathan said as he stepped into the living room with Ben on his hip.

"Oh god Nate, hey!" Rachel said with a smile as she swooped her hands through her hair. "Sorry Charlotte is just being, … well Charlotte."

Nathan gave her a hearty chuckle. That little girl did live up to her reputation.

"I bet that you were the same when you were her age." He speaks up with a smirk.

"Yeah that's what I'm afraid of cause if that's the case it just keeps going down hill from here." Rachel sighs as Gracies cries came from the baby monitor. "Great."

"Where's the old ball and chain?"

"Mouth?" She sighed again "Campaigning somewhere for something. I have no idea. This election's been pretty hard on him." Out of all people Rachel Gattina had ended up the son of the Mayor. She looked tired as she slumped on the couch. She had resigned herself to the fact that despite her best efforts attempting to get the little girl to lay off the jelly art is a lost cause.

"I bet it's pretty hard on you too." Nathan said giving Rachel a friendly smile before heading to the door. "Friday we're having that barbeque. You're still coming right?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." She answered with a smile. "I think that you know who might show too." She said nervously

"Well than this could get interesting couldn't it?"

"Very interesting."

Nathan walks to the car hand in hand with Ben.

"You have a good time with Rachel?" Nathan asked his son as he strapped him into the back seat.

"Uh huh. We had peanut butter and jelly for dinner cause Rachel cant cook like mama said." Ben chatted with a smile

"Hey buddy, you think we have time for a quick stop?" Nathan asked the little boy.

"Hum" Ben checked his Spiderman watch.

Ben was literally just Brooke and Lucas's features thrown into the same body. He had Lukes eyes, and Brookes mouth, dimples, and nose, and Lukes unruly hair and he could brood like the best of them.

"well," Ben continues "it is twenty seven ninety two now and mama always wants us home by eight so we have forty seven ten minutes so I think we have enough time" he finished seriously proud of his time telling abilities. Haley was still working on him with it.

Nathan smiled as he pulled up to the river court and they hopped out.

"I got something for you." Nathan said opening the back hatch of the car and pulled out the little black lab puppy.

"NUH UH! For real dad, it's mine, he's all mine?!" Ben asked hugging Nathans legs tightly

"All yours and uh, it's actually a she."

Ben swept the puppy into his arms and let it lick his face as he giggled.

"What are you going to name it?" Nathan asked the little boy as they headed to the bleachers to sit.

"Well," Ben began as he hiccupped between words. He for some reason would get the hiccups on a daily basis. "I was thinkin' cause Mama's a James and so is Lebron-"

"Wait, you mean Lebron James like the basketball player?" Nathan questioned the little boy

"Uh huh, Lebron James like the basketball player." He confirmed "That's what his name is."

"It's a her." Nathan corrected him.

"Okay. HER name then is Lebron James." Ben said proudly.

Nathan grinned madly at the little boy who he had given up his life to raise. Taking him was never anything that he or Haley debated. He was their family. Brooke and Lucas couldn't be parents, and they could. That was it.

"You know I love you right Benji?" Nathan asked looking at Ben who was happily petting Lebron.

"Huh huh. I love you too papa." He said looking up at Nathan. " 'n that's why I told him, I told him, I said Lucas you're not my daddy Nathan is. A daddy loves you and he palys basketball with you and he takes you out for ice cream and Lucas doesn't you do." Ben said firmly.

Nathan felt such admiration for the child. He had to deal with a lot at a young age.

"He does love you buddy. He loves you very much but he thought that it was better that Haley and I took care of you." He explained. They had this conversation before but the last thing that Nathan or Haley wanted was for Ben to be ashamed of where he came from or feel that he was at all unwanted.

"And Brooke, Brooke thought the same too." Ben nodded in affirmation "Cause they were younger than most mommies and daddies and you and mommy are too but you were more settled." He rationalized in a very adult manner.

"That's right buddy. That's exactly right."

"How come I see Brooke though and not Lucas till now?"

Nathan thought about how to answer that question. Because nobody knew where the hell Lucas was after he left? Was it because he was too selfish? Well even if that were the case you couldn't say it to a child.

"He lives kind of far away buddy." I say for lack of a better explanation.

"Oh," Ben nods "well is he gonna stay?"

"I don't know yet buddy."

"Oh." Ben said again nodding as Lebron drifted off to sleep in the little boys lap. "Mamma says he played basketball like us. Is he gonna play basketball with us?"

"I don't know." They sat for another few minutes in silence. "Ready to get out of here?" Nathan asks the little boy who is trying to stand up while still clutching Lebron.

"Yup, I'm ready." He said with a big smile as he waddled to the car behind Nathan still holding tight to his puppy.