*** CURRENTLY BEING REWRITTEN ***
Hermione awoke a number of hours later with the urge to pee. She dashed across the cold stone floor to the bathroom and relieved herself. When she had returned to her bed she found that she was no longer tired and whispered "Lumos", setting the fairies to spark up. After a nice bought of stretching she grabbed hold of the bedside clock.
"9:30!" Her head snapped up at the echo of her own yell. Crap, she thought, I need to charm some windows into this place. She made her way to the main room, grabbing a robe from the back of a chair on the way out of her bedroom. As she took a seat at the head of the dining table she noticed a delicate glass bell set in front of her. With a faint tinkle from the object a house elf appeared beside the table and bowed reverently.
"Ahh, Miz Vialette! Kinky is Miz's personal elf! How may Kinky help Miz today?"
Kinky? KINKY! Only freakin' Daimion could find a house elf named KINKY! Hermione noticed that the elf was wearing a sort of toga fashioned from burgundy velvet brocade with a black lace trim. Never misses a detail does he?, she mused. "I'll just take a light breakfast, please, Kinky."
"Yes, Miz! Kinky will be right back!" With a soft 'POP' she was gone, and she returned likewise a few moments later bearing a tray of delicacies. She placed on the table before Hermione an assortment of ham, hash browns, eggs, toast, pancakes, butter, syrup and several decanters of juice as well as a place setting.
"Splendid! Thank you, Kinky; this is perfect! I won't be requiring anything more at the moment." The elf smiled widely at the praise and was gone again in a bow. Hermione examined the juices and found them to be orange, cranberry, grapefruit and pomegranate. She happily poured herself a glass of pomegranate as a knock sounded on the door. "Who is it?" she called out sweetly.
"Ickle-pig, ickle-pig, let me in!"
She snorted out a laugh and ran to door, granting Daimion entrance. "Really, now? A house-elf named 'KINKY'?"
He couldn't help but break into laughter. "When I found her I knew she was for you."
Hermione grinned and offered him to join her at her meal. He took the seat to her left as she rang the bell, and Kinky appeared once more. "Oh! Master Daimion is joining Miz for breakfast?"
"Yes. Could you please bring us another setting?" The tiny elf nodded eagerly and with a wave of her hand a second setting appeared. "Thank you, Kinky." Daimion let out a small giggle after the elf was gone.
"Well, it is kind of amusing," she returned with a grin.
"As always. Did you enjoy your rest? Have you found your chambers to be adequate?" He awaited her response eagerly as the two began filing food onto their plates.
"Oh, Dim! It's all too much!" His face fell slightly at the comment, but Hermione smirked and continued, "but I'll manage… somehow."
His smile lit back up and he let out a breath. "I'm glad you like it, Min. I was so worried that it may not be to your liking." Hermione returned that comment with a look that said 'Yeah… uh-huh… sure…' and he laughed. "I always did have a flair for the dramatic, you know. Anyway, what are your plans for today? I was hoping to introduce you to the staff."
"Well, I plan on heading out to pick up some items, but I won't be gone all day. I should be back around 3 o'clock or so; how does that sound?"
"Sounds great! How about we all have a nice dinner downstairs tonight? That way you can meet everyone and get a better feel for the place."
"It's a date, Dim!" She noticed that they had both finished eating absently as they talked. "Now that breakfast's over, get out."
"God, fine, be like that… bitch."
"It's DIVA to you!" She laughed and the pair embraced in a warm hug. "It's good to be home."
"Yes," Daimion replied into her hair. "It most definitely is."
Outside of the venue, dressed in a short, flowing black skirt, black tank top and knee-high boots, Hermione basked for a moment in the warm sunlight before donning a wide-brimmed black straw hat and sleek sunglasses. She had consumed a large enough dose of her advanced polyjuice for her new appearance to last about a week, and she was now taking her new body out for a spin and some new accouterments. As she made her way down the main street it took her a few moments to get used to all of the attention. She had always been so used to going unnoticed all of time, but she found that she did not shy away from the opposite. She would relish in the injustices afforded to the beautiful as she was now very much to play the part of a goddess.
Her first stop was at the Magical Menagerie. She never had a bird of any sort and decided that now would be as good a time as any to acquire one. She smiled thinking back to how Crookshanks would have reacted had she gotten one before. It was such a shame when his life was cut short after being eaten by one of Aragog's offspring at the beginning of her previous school year. She cried for weeks and could not be consoled by anyone other than a bottle of firewhisky. It definitely wasn't her finest moment.
"Hello, miss!" The handsome shopkeeper had appeared from out of the back, smoothing his robes down as he looked at her with a lustful glint in his eye. "My name is Jacob," he took her hand and kissed it, "and it is my deepest pleasure to be at your service." Ordinarily Hermione would be put off by such a disgusting display. But today – and for the rest of her summer – she was not Hermione Granger. She was Miz Vialette and needed to arouse public interest for the Parlor and her performances there. She would play it up and have a damn good time doing it!
"Jacob, sweetie," she began, her eyelashes batting as she faked interest in him. "I am looking to purchase a bird. And I don't want just any ruddy owl, now; after all, I have an image to keep." She trailed her finger down the front of his robe along his chest delicately as she finished.
"O-oh, ahem yes, but of course, miss!" he stammered out. She flashed him a sultry smile and he swallowed hard.
"You may call me Miz Vialette, my dear," she purred.
His breathing sped up as he smiled almost nervously. Oh, have your charms failed you now?, she thought amusedly. "Well, uh, Miz Vialette, you are in luck! I just happen to have received a very unusual bird just this morning! Let me bring him out for you to see." He disappeared into the back room for a moment while she gazed around the shop. He returned quickly with a rather large bird perched on his arm; its grayish-blue feathers shining softly in the light, broken only by a small stripe of yellow by each eye. Hermione was captivated.
"Beautiful, isn't he?" She simply nodded as the bird looked at her with interest. "He's a rare Hyacinth Macaw from the rain forests of South America; the largest of the species. He's only a few years old, so he's got a 4' wingspan right now, but it will get up to about 6' and he'll live to around 70-80 years."
She absorbed the knowledge and let a breathy "Wow" escape her lips. Jacob smiled and reached up for the bird to move on to his hand, which it swiftly did while never taking eyes off of Hermione. He set the bird down on the counter and it strutted across to Hermione. She set her hand before the bird and he cocked his head before rubbing it on her hand. She broke into a broad grin and the bird hopped up on her arm, causing it to sway under his surprising weight. He cooed in an almost cat-like purr as he carefully scaled her arm to her shoulder and settled there nuzzling her cheek.
"It looks like I'm taking you home, cutie," she doted lovingly to her new pet who ruffled himself happily in reply. She flashed her smile to Jacob once again and completed her transaction, leaving the store after another dramatic display of hand kissing and lusty gazes from the creepy storekeeper. "I think I will call you… Hrmmm…" she paused to think for a moment before smiling broadly and looking to her avian beauty. "How about Captain Flint?" He cawed and bobbed his head in approval. The name was befitting considering her new residence and she continued her shopping in extremely high spirits.
A/N: Now that you have read, please review. Captain Flint, btw, was the name of Long John Silver's parrot in Treasure Island.
Constructive criticism only, please. If you send me flames I will find out where you live and burn your house down. :D