CHAPTER 3
"Why the Menoa tree?" questioned Dathedr politely, as the Elven council stared with pride and dignity at Yaela. The council had convened the very night Eragon had returned to gather the happenings of the past years. Not to mention that they wanted to know what it was that crippled the mightiest Rider that lived, something that made even the Gilderien the Wise respect him.
Yaela was one of the Twelve original guardians of Eragon from the war who had departed the shores of Alagaesia a hundred years ago and she was here to answer the questions of the Elven court. An accomplished warrior, she stood proudly with her Dragon as she answered Dathedr:
"It is because she who became the Menoa tree can understand the loss Eragon-elda feels, and may sympathise enough to restore him temporarily, Dathedr-vor" she said. "And also because it is Glaedr-elda's wisdom. It is not our place to question the advice of the ancients"
"It certainly is not" murmured Dathedr, as the Elves remained silent and contemplating. Arya spoke, her voice sure and commanding:
"A tale such as this is not given out with a chaotic retelling. Tell us now the full tale, Yaela, beginning from the day Eragon left us with the Nine of you, the Eldunari and the eggs"
"As you wish" said Yaela, her distant eyes remaining focused upon the knotted throne. Arya could see her gathering memories of years past, back to the end of the war when Galbatorix was struck down by Eragon and freedom was upon Alagaesia like a sudden burst of dawn.
Her own confusion and angst during those years still haunted her. Islanzadi was killed, and much of her kind lay dead. Her only hope then was her little green Dragon, Firnen, the one who pulled her out of the depths of depression. The one who gave her the strength to perform her duty.
Thank you, Arya. You have been a great Rider for me, said Firnen with love and gratitude flowing across the bond. But she is about to speak now.
"We sailed for months…several months, maybe even a year. I do not know exactly how long we sailed or how much, but I do know that we were slowly losing hope. Food and water we could obtain through the aid of our magic, and companionship we had amongst ourselves. But the endless expanse of the sea pressed down upon us like nothing else, forcing us into one despair after another" said Yaela, remembering those years with a faraway grief.
"We searched far and wide with our minds, as did Eragon. But it was to no avail even with the strength of the Eldunari augmenting his, and ours. Only the wisdom and counsel of the Eldest Hearts held us up made us look toward the light. Our hopes of finding a new land were flagging for we had sailed for what seemed to us an eternity" she said, but now she smiled deeply.
"But then, it happened" she said softly. "There came a fourth free Rider into existence, and a fifth. For me and Laetri were directed by Umaroth-elda to visit the eggs that were stored in a heavily warded room, and we went. The moment we entered, we heard a cracking noise and we saw…our Dragons" she whispered with reverence.
"We knew their names the moment we saw them, and we named them: Fundor was mine, and Sahloknir was Laetri's. We were in such joy then!" she exclaimed, and Arya could feel the hope created by such an event. "They were so little back then" she said, adoringly stroking Fundor's head as he leaned into her touch.
"We became Riders, me and Laetri. Eragon was beside himself with joy, your Majesty" she recalled. "He even forgot for a time what he had left behind in Alagaesia, and threw himself into nurturing the first Riders under his tutelage. We learned for three months on sea from the Eldunari, and we were content. I remember us Nine talking about how we were content just sailing, learning with and from our Leader and the Eldunari."
"You understand I am leaving much from this narrative" she continued, gazing at the court. "It would take me too long a time to recount everything that happened in the past century"
Arya, who was entranced by the story, just motioned for her to continue. The weakness of the Elves for tale and song was legendary and this tale was especially close to their hearts as they had lived its beginning themselves.
"It was then that Eragon-elda adapted the point transportation spell to send people in a flash to distant locations. It had been a terrible year and a half for us at sea, though the hatching of Fundor and Sahloknir bolstered our hope to as much as it was before" spoke Yaela softly.
"And then he brought us the final hope. We had not even thought of his idea, the rigidity of the Elven mind is truly frustrating. But" she said, "The human mind is not. It can adapt beautifully and Eragon's unnatural instinct with magic saved us all, or so we thought. So for weeks we prepared; the ten of us and the Eldunari. We structured a spell such that it would take us to a landmass ahead of us, where we could moor and settle for some short while. For even our Elven patience had abated for the want of forests"
"I never thought Eragon could modify a spell known to elvenkind for centuries" murmured Arya in surprise. He is the crown Jewel of our Order, Elf resonated the deep rumbling voice of Fundor in Arya's mind.
"One night we gathered and pooled our magic together, sending it into Eragon who began to weave the spell. Umaroth-elda had deemed the Eldunari unable to participate, as they were gathering energy still after the war"
"But our strength was thought to be enough. Eragon began to gather our magics and was intoning our spell when it happened."
Here pure and utter grief flashed for a moment on Yaela's face before she hid it.
"Flashing lights appeared everywhere around our ship as the storm continued unabated. Eragon was too absorbed in his spell and paid no attention, and Saphira was too busy pouring energy into him as were we all. But me and Laetri, our Dragons were still young and could not pour energy into the spell yet."
"I saw them manifesting through my Fundor's mind, and I knew Laetri saw them through Sahloknir's. They are too different from Alagaesian races and their powers are beyond our understanding. I cannot fathom why they chose to appear before us then…but appear they did"
"Spirits?" whispered Arya in horror. "You were intercepted by Spirits?" she asked in a whisper. The court of elves looked horror struck at this; they knew how dangerous those entities could be.
"Yes" whispered Yaela. "Yes. They were spirits who were once part of Durza, and they were changed forever by their occupation of the Shade. It seemed they were attracted by Eragon's magic and recognized it as something familiar."
The court was completely silent at this. No one could ever have anticipated this turn of events after the war…no one. Arya listened in stunned silence as Yaela continued her tale.
"But Sahloknir was young" she said in a low voice. "He was barely a month old, and did not understand fully. The alien nature of Spirit force frightened him, and his magic lashed out at the surrounding Spirits. That angered them…Oh, did it anger them"
Yaela's memories began to transmit themselves to the court and they willingly opened their minds to it. Arya flinched as she felt through the memories the anger and bloodlust of the spirits, it was like being once more in Durza's dark tormenting presence.
"There was a great flash of white light" said Yaela listlessly. "It must have illuminated the entire horizon for a moment…but when it faded, he was gone. Sahloknir was gone along with the spirits and we were left alone in the storm without him."
The court gasped in horror, and Arya felt overwhelming pity for the golden Dragon and Eragon's party. They have endured much, whispered Firnen's sad voice in her mind and she could not help but feel this was only the beginning of Eragon's troubles.
"I remember Laetri's wails as she tried to throw herself off the ship to find her little Dragon" she murmured as if feeling the pain of her companion after all these years. "It tore at us to see her in the grip of such suffering. We had been like siblings for many centuries, and Laetri's loss rent our hearts asunder"
Tears slid down the eyes of all the Elves in the court, and one slid down Arya's right cheek at the memories Yaela was showing them all. Laetri's suffering was heart-breaking in its sadness.
"She was a newly bonded Rider, and even her centuries of experience did not stop her from being incapacitated with grief. I remember as she knelt in front of us and that stormy night and begged us to get Sahloknir back for her, during her few moments of coherence. For she knew not if her Dragon were dead or alive. His presence had been erased in her mind by the Spirits, you see"
They drew their breath as one at this. It was unimaginably painful, what had happened to Laetri. No Rider deserved that kind of uncertain separation.
"As Eragon heard Laetri beg for help from her very soul he did something we should have anticipated from him. He gathered energy with the Eldunari's consent…and he sent us away with his new spell."
That is just like him, Firnen, said Arya as she heard the tragic tale. If she knew this were to happen she would never have let him leave Alagaesia. As it was, she would not let him leave again till he was completely healed. No matter what had changed between them their friendship demanded that much.
"He invoked Wyrda, before casting his spell. He let the transportation spell be guided by fate itself…he sent us all away to some unknown location and placed us in the hands of fate. He sent us all, Eldunari, eggs and even Saphira. The last we heard was him promising Laetri in the ancient language that he was going to get Sahloknir back upon his word as Rider."
Yaela sighed. "Then we found ourselves on our Island, the Island where we would build Aiedail later. Laetri was insane with fear and loss, and our Leader had gone on a solo mission to retrieve Sahloknir. Saphira too was nearly incapacitated with grief, but she somehow managed to overcome her grief and act in her Rider's stead."
"How could he possibly be foolish enough to think that he could take on several Spirits at once" demanded Fiolr in outrage. Yaela shrugged off the question and continued, but Arya knew.
Eragon had the one thing no one else had, an extremely powerful tool. He had The Word. A name of incredible power, the true name of true names that identified the essence of the ancient language itself.
"We spent a year on that Island, only erecting a secret warded cell to store the Eldunari. Laetri was steadily dropping into insanity without her Dragon, and the rest of our hearts were heavy."
"How did you manage to survive?" asked Arya with utmost sadness. Yaela shrugged again and said the one word Arya was beginning to tire of.
"Duty drove us" she said shortly, as if she wished not to go into details.
"But he returned, Eragon did. After a year, he returned to us in a flash of Indigo light and his hair had turned burnished silver in colour. He was not a shade" she said firmly as many began to come to that conclusion.
"But something had happened to him during his absence from us. He was tormented beyond words, his mind was shattered to pieces…you cannot imagine the grief Saphira felt" she said softly. "You cannot. The spirits had broken something within him…something precious. But he held out Sahloknir, who had not grown at all in his year's absence. In his eyes we saw…near madness and loss. Both Sahloknir and he were broken. So was Laetri. Our order was finished, and I was the only Rider who was…somewhat whole"
"Madness" she said again, looking around at the deeply sorrowful faces of the court. "But it was not the end. The spirits followed us there as well and they had come for Sahloknir whom they wanted for some unknown reason. What happened next, I will have to show you."
As they felt Yaela's mind touch upon them once more, they opened themselves completely to her memory flow. Arya sat disbelievingly on the knotted throne…understanding what it meant when Gilderien-elda called Eragon a great Rider. Their sadness as they spoke of Eragon's sacrifices.
She gave into Firnen's urgings to watch Yaela's memories as the elf projected it to the entire court.
A very large empty Isle, and the night sky above them in all its vastness shining with a million stars. The waves washed silently over the beach in which the Nine resided with the returned Eragon. They flinched once more as they saw Eragon…he was changed inhumanly. The change was unnaturally evil. Spirits' desires were beyond comprehension as was their power.
Suddenly, the entire campsite was surrounded once more by a wall of multicolored flashing lights and Eragon screamed with Laetri in a sound of indescribable agony. The Elves fell like leaves in the wake of the Spirits' assault, only able to watch helplessly as the entities converged upon Eragon and Laetri. Sahloknir gave a heart wrenching wail as they approached, and deep sorrow filled their hearts as they saw Laetri wrap her arms around Sahloknir and close her eyes as if accepting their fate.
Eragon shouted a spell, and the spirits were kept at bay with a wall of unknown force. But they were steadily forcing themselves in, burrowing around Eragon's force barrier so fast that they looked like a wall of light.
Arya openly cried as Eragon gathered some semblance of coherence from his shattered mind, and wept for mercy from the Spirits, begging them to take him instead of the young Dragon and Rider. Saphira's sorrow cut them all like the blades of Brisingr and Zar'roc.
But then they felt a staggering mind-force speak to the Riders, and knew that these were the Eldunari gathered by Eragon.
ERAGON, WHAT WILL YOU GIVE UP TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THE RIDERS? Roared the voices of hundreds of Eldunari together. Eragon shook his head, and seemed to gain a little more coherence as he replied in a faint voice as the Spirits tried to breach his spell, the one thing that kept them away. It looked like they would break it in a matter of seconds.
ANYTHING, said Eragon as he funnelled the energies of the Eldunari into stopping the spirits. It was not enough. ANYTHING TO SAVE MY PEOPLE.
EVEN YOUR LOVE FOR ARYA? came the terrible voice of the gathered Eldunari. ANSWER QUICKLY, ERAGON. WE HAVE NOT ENOUGH MAGIC TO DRIVE OFF THESE SPIRITS. WILL YOU GIVE UP YOUR LOVE FOR ARYA?
They saw as Eragon's face twisted in indescribable agony at the notion as tears ran down his face once more. They heard some Eldunari's voice clamouring against the idea along with Saphira who roared in denial and anger.
You ask me to tear out my own soul, to mutilate my very being? That is what you ask, for my love for Arya is one of the focal points of my true name. You wish me to tear my soul?
The boundless regret of the Eldunari washed over them, making them flinch. But they were relentless in their question.
WILL YOU DO IT? UTTER YOUR TRUE NAME AND USE THAT SACRIFICE TO FUEL OUR SPELL? asked the Collective voice of the Eldunari instantly. Eragon's face grew numb and dead, as if something else shattered. This time it was his soul itself that was mutilated as he raised his hands to incant the spell taught to him by the Eldunarya. He began to shiver as he invoked his true name.
The wall of magic keeping the spirits out broke, and the Spirits descended upon Eragon in a deluge of unstoppable light. Laetri screamed and hugged Eragon tightly with a terrified Sahloknir between them as he raised his hands to the dark heavens and incanted his spell.
"DEYJA MANIN, ETHGRI HUGIN!"
An incredible wave of pure magic blasted from Eragon and hurled the Spirits far into the sky, until they became but points of light like the stars. The force holding the elves in place disappeared and the eight ran forward rapidly and knelt before the Leader of the riders who stood still as Laetri clung on to him desperately like a life line.
As they gently separated the two, Blodhgarm hissed in surprise as he saw a Sahloknir who looked completely healed, both in mind and body. They saw Laetri looking as if she were on the road to recovery, the madness and loss leaving her eyes slowly.
But Eragon did not move. When he turned to face them, Yaela saw in his eyes that his soul was completely unmade. His torment was probably inconceivable as his soul was rent asunder to save them. He would suffer beyond their imagining for a long, long time.
To save them? His soul?
Fundor let out a keening sound, mourning the sacrifice Eragon Kingslayer had made for them. As one, the Nine elves sank to their knees as the enormity of Eragon's actions burned themselves deep in their soul. As one, they pledged themselves in the ancient language to Eragon as his companions, pledged him and him alone their eternal loyalty and resolve to make him whole.
For not in a hundred generations could the Riders repay their debt to the Kingslayer. For this and for killing Galbatorix, their Order owed Eragon everything.
AS DOES DRAGONKIND, came Umaroth's voice filled with infinite regret.
Under the night sky of what would be the city of Aiedail, the Riders were saved for the second time by Eragon Kingslayer. As Blodhgarm gathered up Eragon in his arms with reverence, the other eight gathered up behind him.
"That is what happened" said Yaela in a low voice, seeing there wasn't a dry eye in the famed court of the Elves. "For a hundred years now, he has lived in pain beyond anything physical or mental. Every day he lives is a testament to his sacrifice for us. So do not judge him so easily, my brethren" she said quietly, and turned to leave.
Arya did not stop her, instead rising and walking away towards her quarters causing the court to disperse. Firnen was absolutely silent as he went over what they had seen, and gave his rider the privacy she craved.
Without a pause, she increased her walk to a run and reached her quarters in a matter of minutes. Barring the door with a powerful spell of sealing, and barring even Firnen from her mind…she sank down to the floor with a tortured expression, shedding silent tears.
…
Ellesmera's dawn has been a sight we have not seen for far too long, sighed Laetri with satisfaction as she woke up from the bed she had made up next to Eragon's. The beautiful sunlight shone down on the city and the pleasant morning chill permeated the entire city causing her to shiver in pleasure.
He is gone somewhere, she thought with a slight panic. Where has he gone, Sahloknir? She asked her Dragon.
You will find him in the Elven training grounds, Laetri. Did you know Yaela told the Queen and her court what happened to us...well, at least a portion of it? asked Sahloknir. Laetri frowned slightly, but her expression cleared after a few moments.
It was inevitable, she thought as she stared up through the vast transparent roof at the vast blue sky with Dragons drifting in them gracefully. The door opened slightly and she turned her head to find the Queen slowly let herself in.
"Laetri?" she asked curiously, hiding her true feelings behind her mask she had so perfected over the centuries. Laetri set off the oddest feelings in her, the strangest fires in her heart. A defeated feeling she was not accustomed to at all.
How are you, Arya? Has the storm passed? Said Firnen's cautious and concerned voice. It will never pass, Firnen, she said sadly as she looked inquisitively at Laetri.
"Your Majesty?" said Laetri with surprise as she got up hurriedly and dressed herself with a single spell. Arya slightly chuckled at the discomfiture of the woman, for Laetri was much older than herself and much more experienced.
"Can I…can I ask you where Eragon is?" she asked in a rare show of vulnerability. Laetri sighed as she picked up her sword and belted it on her slender waist.
"He is awake and in the training grounds, your Majesty. My pleas to the Menoa tree, along with those of Brightscales' helped him it seems. The tree understands loss better than any of us in the waking world" she said as she faced the exit.
"Would you care to accompany me, Your Majesty? I am going to Eragon as well" invited Laetri. An unreadable expression flickered on Arya's face as she accepted the offer. Within minutes, they had descended the huge tree tower and were on the way to the training grounds.
"I hear that you now know our story, Majesty?" inquired Laetri politely of Arya as they walked past the lovely trees and parks of Ellesmera. Laetri could see sorrow in every line of the Queen as she inclined her head towards her.
"I did, Laetri svit-kona. Eragon has given up much for your sake" said Arya, feeling pain cut her heart into pieces at the thought of just what he gave up. Laetri smiled a very sad smile as she looked at Arya and said.
"For our sake, Arya, for you are part of our Order as well no matter what he says or you say" she said with certainty. "Even magic cannot break certain bonds"
"Or can it?" whispered Arya, allowing her emotion to show on her face. Laetri's face showed deep compassion as she understood what the young queen must be going through after Yaela's revelation. But she remained silent, allowing her to speak.
"At the end of the war when we parted…we knew each other's true names" said Arya. "I said his name yesterday night…and I felt no stirring of magic. His name has changed, I fear…he was right. He did love me then, but I brushed it off as an ephemeral human fascination"
Laetri spoke calmly. "It was war, Arya Drottningu. You did the right thing by avoiding distraction during its course". Arya's eyes widened and picked up what Laetri was implying.
"Perhaps I should have become closer to him after the war. But he was but a close friend to me at best, a mere score years in age compared to my hundred…when I learned of the love he had for me through his name, it only heightened my fears. What if I lost him like Linnea did, lost him to fickle human desires? And it had been too short a while since Faolin's death. How could I willingly put myself in the arms of another, forgetting him?"
Arya wiped a tear from her eye, "So I let him leave, burying myself in what I thought was duty. Yesterday, I saw the true meaning of duty in Yaela's memories…and I am deeply ashamed to be so presumptuous"
Laetri laid a hand over Arya's arm, the two extraordinary elven women facing each other solemnly. "He is no longer the Eragon you remember, your Majesty, not even close. I have seen Vrael and spoken with him. I have even learned at his feet when he came occasionally to Ellesmera…I can honestly say Eragon is become much like Vrael"
Arya nodded firmly, and accompanied Laetri swiftly to the training grounds. It was time to speak with Eragon Kingslayer at long last. Shelving the crushing regret and guilt she felt over Eragon's situation she strode calmly towards him.
As the two women walked down the winding and picturesque paths of Ellesmera, Arya began to draw parallels between herself and Laetri. She could not help but do so, for the similarities were many. She could hear Firnen listening to her thoughts with a kind of wry amusement.
Firstly, She and Laetri had both gone through life and death with Eragon. Both of them were Riders after him, both of them were great warriors. Firnen's amusement increased at this, but she knew herself and her accomplishments.
Both I and Sahloknir are male Dragons, said Firnen joining in her thoughts. Arya gave the equivalent of a mental nod at this, continuing to list the similarities.
Laetri too had undergone captivity under Galbatorix's minions just like she had. Both of them were princesses of Ellesmera.
She is? Came Firnen's surprised thoughts. Arya affirmed the thoughts, surprised herself with just how similar they were.
Yes her mother was the Queen Dellanir, predecessor of my father, she said to her Dragon, noting his surprise at the fact. It was almost as if she and Laetri were the same people shifted in time. Before she could come up with any more similarities, Laetri spoke:
"Your Majesty, you seem to be deep in thought"
"I am indeed deep in thought" said Arya with some amusement. Then her face grew serious as she questioned, "What happened to Eragon yesterday? His convulsions were almost like Oromis' were" she said sadly. Over a century had passed since Oromis' death and she still felt great sadness at their passing.
"A most apt observation, your Majesty" said Laetri as they neared the training area of the elves. As it came into sight, they saw no Elves sparring as they usually did. Instead they had gathered in a circle around someone or something, looking admiringly at something or someone they had encircled.
Arya watched as a fond expression crossed Laetri's face. "Ever the teacher", she said and approached with Arya. The elves bowed as their Queen approached and parted to reveal Eragon and his five students with more elves joining them progressively.
Eragon's long silver hair rippled smoothly in the wind as he flowed through the Rimgar with incredible flexibility. But it was unlike the Rimgar she knew, for it combined all four levels to create something that was beautiful.
His five students practiced the same behind him, seemingly able to do the Rimgar of Eragon, though with not as much grace as he did. Yaela came close though. More than the rigid poses of the Rimgar, this was like the deadly dance of a warrior. Arya was entranced as she watched the alien exercise.
Laetri smiled beatifically and joined Eragon in his movements, who was peacefully executing his Rimgar with eyes closed. Arya watched with pride and sadness at just how much Eragon had grown from when she was with him.
The seven Riders flowed perfectly in sync, none of them able to match the absolute ease of Eragon's movements.
There was the barest shuffle to her right, and she turned her head slightly to find Lifaen. The rest of the Elves watched with wonderstruck and admiring eyes as if watching a great artistic performance. Her people were the greatest patrons of beauty in all things and art…and something like this would certainly fascinate them.
Lifaen produced the reed pipes he so favoured, and began to play. A clear male voice lifted in melodious song to the instrument, making some elves shiver in wonder.
Arya felt the essence of the Alfakyn as she took in the sight with scarce concealed amazement. Eragon flowed through the poses of the Rimgar with supernatural grace, his students accompanying him. The ethereal melody of Lifaen's reeds and the clear rich voice of Edurna accompanied the practice of the lead Rider, elevating it to a dance beyond anything she had ever seen.
"Vrael" some of the elves whispered softly as their eyes filled with pure delight and recognition. "Vrael".
Dragons do not find humans or elves graceful, sniffed Firnen haughtily, snapping her out of her trance. But then he relented. But I have to admit to it now, these Riders certainly are.
They watched with happiness and amazement, until Lifaen slowly stopped playing and Edurna's voice wound down to silence. Eragon had reached the final stance of the Rimgar, and the Elves were applauding freely and bowing in respect to him. Arya too applauded with shining eyes as she saw Eragon as if for the first time.
Eragon opened his eyes, revealing the curiously bright indigo colour of them. Arya couldn't help but think he looked as elven as any of her subjects. Laetri hugged him gently and he returned the hug with the same gentleness, causing beaming smiles to break out on the faces of his students.
As the elves went back to their sparring and the ground cleared around Eragon and his students, the Lead Rider looked directly at Arya. Arya looked straight back at him, absently noting how aged he seemed. She could see it in his eyes.
"Excuse us please, all of you" he said in a sincere voice. "I need to speak with the queen …a conversation that has been pending for a very long time now". Laetri looked at him with a concerned glance, and with a nod led the others further into the sparring area.
Eragon strode towards her calmly. "Let us walk if you please, Your Majesty. It has been long since we walked together under these eternal trees" he said, causing her eyes to widen. Unbidden, her crushing guilt vanished for a moment and mirth bubbled up at his eloquence. So unlike the bumbling peasant she once knew…
Birds trilled in every direction as Arya laughed her tinkling laugh, causing Eragon to laugh with her as well. She could hear Saphira wryly admonishing her Rider.
'Walked under the eternal trees?' Oh, Eragon…sighed Saphira fondly. I am so glad you are awake. The Menoa tree was merciful for a second time, it seems. And greetings, Arya. It really is good to be back, and I have truly missed Firnen and you.
As have I, Saphira said Arya as she saw Saphira soar joyfully above them, high into the sky. Eragon seemed content just walking beside her and taking in the sights of Ellesmera nostalgically.
"I am sorry for my anger before, Eragon" murmured Arya as they kept walking. Eragon waved it off unconcernedly.
"Do not let it bother you, your Majesty. Everything you said was perfectly justified. I presume I will not have to repeat my tale?" he asked, looking at her.
"I would like you to someday, Eragon" she said softly. "Yaela told us the tale, true. But you are the one who lived it. I cannot imagine such a sacrifice as you made for your people. You are a Rider in the truest sense of the word"
Eragon seemed to be considering these words. "I did" he finally replied. "I certainly gave up something that must have been truly precious to me. I cannot remember how I felt back then before the event, your Majesty. It seems to have faded."
There they were, the heart of the issue. Arya's eyes widened at his words. "You do not…remember?"
"I do not" said Eragon, looking her squarely in the eyes. "I only know you as the Queen of Elves, someone who aided me during the war and someone…someone who I once had feelings towards. But I do not know how I felt. I cannot remember or understand." he said quietly. Arya's heart fell at this declaration. To hear it from him made it final.
"I see you are distressed" he said soothingly. "Do not be, your Majesty. I do not wish for you to go through the same things I must have gone through. These things distract a ruler from their duties"
Arya's face remained calm, but her mind rushed through a thousand different emotions. You will not know until you ask him, Arya. He is still Eragon even if he is different. And he is here, encouraged Firnen's voice.
"Do you not still bear the…affection you once felt for me?" she asked in an almost curious voice. It took almost everything in her to ask this question.
"I am sorry, your Majesty" he said calmly. "But I do not. I…tore that out of my soul by uttering my true name, sacrificed it to drive away the spirits. You must have seen this in Yaela's memories"
"I did" she said, pausing to look at where they had arrived. It was the Crags of Tel'naeir they had walked unconsciously towards. Eragon sighed and seated himself at their edge, looking at the scene so close to his heart. Here he had trained for months under his Ebrithilar, Oromis and Glaedr.
"I have come home, master" he whispered softly with such feeling that Arya felt her eyes water. "You have my deepest admiration for your sacrifice, Eragon. It must have been hard… to give it up" she said, choking at the end.
But not my thanks. Never my thanks, Eragon…for if you had stayed we could have been more. But we both chose duty, not knowing what it entailed.
"I would not know, my Queen. I do not remember how I felt for you then. I…I cannot even utter your true name anymore" he said apologetically, knowing this would hurt Arya.
"But it was hard" he continued, watching Arya shed silent tears. He was one of the very few people around whom Arya let her guard down.
"Through the years since my spell, I felt something missing. Some part of my soul was gone and I nearly went insane" he said, wanting to tell her for some reason. "Every second for a few decades I felt pain and loss similar to what I imagine the loss of a Dragon would feel. It was beyond description, you know. Beyond all physical and mental torments. As if someone had reached into my soul and twisted it past description."
"Even Saphira was driven mad for a time by my condition. My Riders did not know what to do after they tried every spell in their knowledge. The Nine nearly killed themselves trying to cure me…but it has gotten better with time. I have gotten used to the loss..the pain I can deal with. When my fortitude wavers for a time I have episodes like those of yesterday" he murmured. His eyes widened as he felt Arya hugging him tightly as she buried her head in his shoulders. She knew it to be true, for he now spoke only in the ancient language.
Her emotions of deepest apology and endless regret seemed to drown him under, causing him to gasp softly.
"Do not be sad…Arya" he said softly, seeing her shiver when he said her name. Then with a gentle voice he began singing, looking up at the sky. The melody seemed to soothe Arya greatly, and she burrowed into his embrace further.
"Loivissa", he said and the word of power spread his influence everywhere in the Crags of Tel'naeir. Just like it had once, long ago.
"Eldhrimner O Loivissa nuanen…"
Why do you hurt yourself so, little one? Came Saphira's grief-struck voice as the loss and pain of his soul increased with his song. His sacrifice only enabled him to feel loss with Arya, not love. A loss whose magnitude he could never describe.
His melody caused the morning sunlight to brighten, and the ground to start shaking. With a sharp report the earth cracked for miles, causing all the terrain in sight to spout Lilies like the one he had made Arya back in the old empire a century ago.
Arya disengaged herself gently, and looked around with a stunned expression. Everywhere she looked she saw lilies covering the land, and the sight was heavenly. She hesitantly put her hand in Eragon's and watched as the newly created Lilies bent under the wind, shining in the morning sunlight.
All the flowers you may want, Arya. I may have erased everything I once felt for you …but not my ability to feel itself. I feel friendship for you, something that has bloomed recently reverberated Eragon's voice in her head as she took in the sight with a stunned reverence. But the moment his words registered, her lovely features exhibited a faint smile. A tide of hope washed over her over those words, and she laid her head once more on Eragon's shoulders.
She felt Firnen's surprise at Eragon's effortless singing of so many plants. How did he do that? He whispered. Then he answered himself with a single word: Eldunari.
High above Ellesmera, Firnen and Saphira roared together and was reciprocated by all the other Dragons.
Be careful, Arya. He can feel now, it is true. But it is wild. That is why he now holds to duty stronger than even you…it gives him sanity. It is unchanging. Even I cannot heal that part of him, for it belongs to you. It always did echoed Saphira's voice in her mind alone.
Arya only tightened her embrace around Eragon, feeling the emptiness and despair of the last century wash away gradually. It was like being reborn and remade at the same time. The Eragon in front of her was no longer a battle weary youth…no. He was the Leader of the Riders. He was the Kingslayer and Shadeslayer, a legendary Rider in Alagaesia.
Do not hurt him, she-elf, warned Sahloknir's deep voice that brimmed with hidden menace. Arya did not begrudge the Dragon his warning, for she could never understand what was between Sahloknir and Eragon.
Do not hurt him anymore, echoed the voice of the other Dragons as one.