Chapter 2
I sped down the stairs quickly, startling the maid, "Miss?!" she called out to me. But I did not address her. I had to get out of this dreadful house now. Too many memories. The memory of hiding in the cabinets to escape the master's heavy hand that delivered too much pain. The memory of seeing my sister, my fearless sister, scared and helpless. It reminded me of the most deadly game of hide-and-seek any person could ever have for being discovered meant a definite beating. The memory of being found and the shock and fear that smacked my stomach when the cabinet door whipped open to reveal a helpless young innocent me. The memories of my own blood streaming down my face. Sometimes the crimson liquid fell into my mouth, which was wide so violent screams, and sobs could escape.
The maid cried out once more, but I was already slamming the door open and ran out faster than I ever have before. My fear mixed with adrenaline forced my legs to propel at inhuman speeds. The wind smacked my faced and blew my flame like hair randomly. I must have been quite a sight with the fear prominent on my face and once again my too red hair. Some bystanders must have thought that Mr. Adams did something most unholy to me. Oh but he did; he abused me when I was an easily bent child. What resulted is a demented scarred girl that couldn't look anyone in the eyes for the fear that this unknown person will potentially harm me.
'Now, now Victoria.' Anne's voice scolded in my head, 'You have to keep your faith in humanity,' she said. I sighed and felt the longing for my sister grow worse. I needed her with me. She is the only one I trust in this awful world. I decided that I didn't wish to show the bystanders my feelings and ran into a nearby forest. I wove through the trees until I felt safe, then I collapsed on the ground and let out all the tears I had been holding in these past few months. I cried for the loss of my sister. I cried for losing my virginity to men I didn't know at all. I cried for losing my parents. I cried for being alone. Most of all, I cried from fear. Fear from people, pain, and loneliness. This was all too much. I faced to the sky and screamed, "What do I do?!" Since no one was there, and my invented sister living in my head wasn't responding I simply buried my face into my knees and began to cry again.
Everything hurt, and I wanted it all to end. But since that obviously wasn't going to occur until death chose me, I had to move on. The first step for doing that was getting a job. 'The Kings just down the path' he said. Due to my emotional fit I lost track of where I was, so I would have to get back on the dirt road and determine my location, then go find the Kings' household. Hopefully they'll have work for me there, although I doubted it. 'Sister! Be positive! You know frowning like that will only give you wrinkles!' my replica sister said. Having these…thoughts made me very disturbed. Perhaps I was going mad, and I was merely deluding these to placate myself. Well, if I am in fact mad it's not as if I can see someone to restore me to sanity until I got enough money. So for now, I'll have to bare it.
To calm my hyperactive nerves, I allowed myself to admire the woods I had run into. The trees were transforming from the green leaves of summer to the magnificent shades of yellows, oranges, and reds. Squirrels were chasing each other and gathering nuts for the upcoming winter already. But squirrels were self-preserving animals; they are going to do all in their power to be fully prepared for the evil season. The birds were still fluttering about, enjoying their last days in London before they were to be forced to migrate south. I've always wanted to fly for it seems far freer than walking and an easier way out of things. And I believe I'd prefer to use my arms to travel than my legs and feet.
I pushed away my foolish fantasies and hiked through all the trees I ran through. I was able to predict where I came from because of all the damage I had left throughout my trail. Broken branches, and bent over or lazy trees were the most helpful. I supposed I should not hold in all my feelings like so anymore. For, once I allowed them to escape it was potentially dangerous. I knew that the real Anne would agree with me on that. I most certainly am disappointed how weak and pathetic I was behaving. It was a positive matter that I escaped into the woods whence I did, for then the public would believe me mad (although I might be) and have me killed in public. And I can't die yet, Anne might return. Then terror clung to my stomach and I stopped in my tracks. What if Anne was fine and returned to that awful place to reunite with me, and I was not there? How worried she would be! And then she'd be saddled with that pimp for many years until she lost her beauty without me to support her! I had not considered this when I left that hell, but now the possibility hurt me and caused an infinite amount of sorrow to claim my heart.
'Sister dearest, do not fret! For I am fine, and I will come for you soon, but I will find you,' said Anne from within my mind. I found comfort in that statement, even though this fake Anne may just be my subconscious trying to discover to comfort me. Despite all these facts, I was placated slightly. I abruptly realized how long it was taking me to get back to civilization. I hadn't realized how far I ran into the forest until the journey out of it. Or I could be going the incorrect way. I halted and fear stabbed my heart again. What if I had strayed from the way out? Maybe I mistook a path of a furious bear's damage for my own.
I studied my surroundings and tried to measure if I was capable of the damage surrounding me. From what I could tell, the wreck was something I was able of even in my weak state. So I was going the right way. Then I noticed a scarlet spot on the tree I was looking at. It was on the opposite side of the tree, so I only received a glance. Curious, I slowly traveled around the tree and saw a huge amount of blood caked on the tree, "What the devil?" I wondered. The sight of blood was making me feel nauseous, but the possibilities as to how the blood got on the tree was far more horrific. I decided that I should leave the area before the sight of the blood would cause me to faint.
I continued to trek through the woods along the path I made and started to sing the lullaby Anne would always sing to me, "Sleep my child and peace attend thee all through the night," I mused to myself as I walked, a skip to my step since the song began to comfort my soul, "Soft the drowsy hours are creeping hill and vale in slumber sleeping," I sang as the trees became less dense, signifying my closeness to civilization. Once I reached the final lines of the beautiful song, I heard a twig snap behind me. I stopped walking and singing, horror traveled through my body. I turned around, my eyes wide in horror. But once I had made a revolution around, I could clearly see there wasn't a thing there. I stood there for a while longer, my green eyes scanning the woods surrounding me. Still, there were no signs of anything. I sighed in relief, tension evaporating. I suppose I am going mad.
I decided against singing anymore and sprinted forward, towards the village. It didn't take much longer to return to that dirt path. I could go to the Kings' and question them for work, but I decided against it. It was late and I was exhausted, I needed to rest for the night. I made my way back to the center of London where motels and other housings were but the fact I had no money didn't occur to me until I was there. I felt rather stupid and embarrassed. Good thing no one was here to make fun of my mistake. Yet there was a portion of me who wished that another person were accompanying me to tease me. But there wasn't, so I shouldn't waste my stamina over the subject.
After internally debating over what to do next, I settled on simply picking an alley and hiding under some dumpster or somewhat for my shelter. I proceeded to scan every dirt filled alley so I could find a fine place to rest my head, but there wasn't much luck. Every single alley screamed 'danger' to me and I simply couldn't shake off the feeling. But in the end, it was all I had. So once the sun began to set, I compelled myself into the alleyway and huddled into the corner and shivered against the cold before closing my eyelids. Then I prayed to the almighty God, 'Lord hear my cry; forgive my faults against thee and aid me through this difficult odyssey of life. I offer my gratitude for all you've done for me and my brothers and sisters. Amen'.
It was freezing and uncomfortable on the cement of London, and my body protested against me, continuously pleading to just go back to Peter and damn it all to hell. But I could not return for my punishment would be so grand that not even the most durable of bodies could endure without wailing multiple occasions. I shrunk into myself, attempting to preserve body heat, but I was rather unsuccessful. I tried to sing to myself again, but my throat was too dry and I constantly. So after failing miserably at that I prayed for warmer weather, but it did not happen for I was too grand of a sinner to be granted anything.
After a couple long hours without any slumber, I heard a noise coming from the home I was leaning up against. I thought it was the owner, trying to ward me off with curses, but to my surprise, it was a man crawling out of the highest window (which was not very high at all) with a blanket and some rations. Not able to resist the temptation, I called up to him, "What are you doing?" The man seemed to lose his balance and he plummeted to the ground, landing next to me with a loud CRACK.
I was quite mortified, but I could not scream that would attract attention, which was the very last thing I wanted. I remained there in that position for a moment, but gathered my nerve and crawled over to the body and took his blanket and the food he took from the house. Then I gathered my new supplies and ran to a separate alley in case the owners took note of me and blame me for the murder and the robbery.
As I continued to run down the streets of London I realized something. I killed someone. I killed someone. In shock, I sat on a nearby bench, my mouth still hanging open. This…was a nightmare. There are no words to describe the choking feeling that was stuck inside me. I felt as if the world was getting smaller, closing in on me. Too close, it was going to crush me and I wouldn't care and I shall rot in hell, as I deserve.
As I sat there, drowning in guilt I heard a voice come from next to me, "It's your very first time murdering somebody, isn't it?" asked the voice. I turned to face my neighbor. It was a beautiful woman with flowing red hair, but not nearly as red as mine. Her figure was very smooth with a black dress clinging to her smooth pale skin. The most gorgeous feature on this woman was her purple eyes. Yes, purple. It was very bizarre indeed.
I was surprised that this arbitrary lady was able to guess my most recent act, "How on earth did you know?" I asked in a wavering voice. She laughed a pure laugh that sounded like a chorus of bells, "I have seen many people endure their first kill, and this is certainly a case," she said. I sighed and ran my hands through my fiery hair, "How am I ever supposed to move on?" I muttered. The beautiful woman quietly said, "The second kill, then the third. It's as simple as continuing to do it. But do not preform the act too much otherwise you'll take pleasure in murdering," I shook my head slowly, "I can't ever do such a thing ever again," I whimpered.
We sat there for a moment in utter silence. But thankfully it wasn't an awkward silence so it gave me a good sum of time to think about the evening even if I didn't really wish to contemplate my committing murder. Dear Lord why must everything be so difficult? I thought and sighed. The choking feeling was growing worse and worse and there wasn't anything I could do about it. No matter what she said there wasn't a chance I was going to get used to this. That reminded me, she mentioned that she witnessed many kill. I sat back up and asked, "What do you mean you've seen many murdered?" But she was already gone.