A/N: you guys are amazing, really and YAY to R.L.N.Tonks who caught what movie this is based on! i was wondering how long it would take. :) its VERY loosely based off the abcfamily movie i want to marry ryan banks. i cant believe someone else besides me has seen it. lol. like i said, very loosely. if you've seen it, you'll know why shortly. anddd...this chapter is longer. i dont know how often i'll be able to update after this. check my blog for more details, but i hope i can get some sort of routine down. thank you so much to everyone who reviews. its amazing. enjoy and review. (i really enjoyed writing this chapter. :p)

JPOV

I tapped my pen incessantly on my clipboard sitting on the table in front of me. The conference room was empty and I was sitting at the long round table by myself, waiting for the next contestant to come in for her interview. I pushed the earpiece back into its place so that I could listen to what Edward wanted me to ask the next girl.

I looked at the brief profile sheet in front of me.

Name: Alice Brandon

Hometown: Seattle, WA

Age: 24

Career: Fashion Designer / Manager of boutique Simply

When I said brief, I wasn't kidding. Normally, I'm not this high-strung. I'm usually quite quiet and calm, my demeanor contradicting the job I have in the fast-paced L.A. spotlights. But this show would be the death of me. I know I created it, but Edward was just being a little difficult about everything.

He couldn't decide between Lauren and Katarina. Then between Alice and Bella. Then between some other girls named Tallulah and Grace. So in the end, we had a total of twelve extra girls. Hence the interviews. Pretty boy couldn't make up his mind.

I took a deep breath, hoping to expel this sudden and uncharacteristic anger. Soon, the girls will be chosen and it will go off without a hitch. Optimism is key. And breathing, too, I realized helped after I noticed I was actually holding my breath.

The door creaked open and someone came in. No, bounded in would be the correct term. I calmed down from my semi-internal rant and looked at the girl. She was petite – only a few inches over five feet, and she couldn't have weighed more than one hundred pounds. Her hair caught my interest. Black spikes going in every direction. Her eyes were bright blue and I nearly fell out of my chair when I looked at her face.

Holy hell, she was beautiful. No wonder Edward couldn't decide.

"You've kept me waiting a long time," she drawled, as she danced over to the table.

"Sorry, ma'am," I said, feeling the blush creep up to the tips of my ears as I ducked to avoid her gaze and instead became fascinated by her profile sheet.

She waved her hand, "No matter, let's start. I'm Alice." Her dainty hand was in front of her, waiting for me to shake, and what did I do?

I choked. I coughed, spluttered, and was forced to take a drink of water from the glass in front of me. Naturally she withdrew her hand.

"Oh, God, are you okay?" she asked, her eyebrows furrowing in concern. I waved her away silently while trying to swallow water.

She waited for me to start breathing normally again before she sat back in the chair. I heard Edward laughing and knew he saw the whole thing on the TV from the room where he was watching us.

"So," I cleared my throat, "you're from Seattle?"

"Yup," she said, all but bouncing in her seat. "I love it there."

"What sort of things do you do there?" These were all generic questions that Edward wanted asked. If there was something else he wanted to know, he would speak into the speakerphone which would relay it to my earpiece. That the girls didn't know existed.

"Oh, the usual; shopping, working, clubbing, hanging around."

I was wondering how she was so calm. Was she feeling the same thing I was? Perfection. Here was the perfect girl right in front of me. And I had to hand her over to Edward. Remember, calm. Breathing. I moved on to the next question before my wandered to doing other things with this girl that would use less breathing and more…physical exertion.

"So what brought you to the show?"

"Oh," she smiled a bright smile that caught my breath in my throat. "I guess the same thing that brought everyone. The Edward Cullen. But it turns out I may stay for a whole other reason." She gave me a sly smile, and something told me that when this girl wanted something, she got it.

I couldn't help but wonder if that last comment was directed towards me. I've never been the forward type, but I may have to kick my game up to the next level if I want to get this girl to be with me.

"Dude, Jasper," I heard Edward calling in my ear. "Stop drooling. If I pick her, will you promise to make a move on this girl and not be all gentleman-ly? Seriously. It's embarrassing."

I stood up, "That's about all the questions we have. We'll let you know."

"What's the last one?" she asked, standing up with me, moving dangerously close to me. Neither of us made a move to step back. My head unconsciously bent towards her small frame, and if I moved one more centimeter, my lips would graze her forehead. Our gazes locked.

"Last one what?" I responded, struggling to form a coherent thought.

"You said that's about all the questions, implying there's one or two more," her voice dropping an octave or two lower. Coherent thought was no longer something I wanted to do. However, tossing her on the table and having my way with her was. Calm, Jazz, breathe. Control your emotions.

I really hoped Edward stopped listening by now, but it was hard to tell. Mainly because I wasn't paying attention to anything outside the two of us. What was with this girl that she had this power over me and I had barely known her for five minutes? Her first words held me and now, it was too late to turn back.

Sick, I sound like all those romantic comedy scripts that Edward keeps getting sent. Calm. Breathe.

"Your number, maybe?" I asked hesitantly. "You know, in case we need to call you. Though, strictly speaking, its against game show rules. But I'll make an exception."

She smirked slightly as she reached carefully into her pocket (not easy to with us standing so close to each other) and pulled out a slip of paper. I unfolded it and read her name and phone number before looking at her quizzically.

She shrugged her shoulders, "I had a feeling." I simply smiled lightly. She turned around quickly and walked out just as she had come in…she bounded out.

I sat down to pull myself together, and as soon as I did that, a woman was being brought in by the secretary, Anita. "She insisted she be next. Apparently she has a hair appointment."

"But I do!" the girl whined. "You can see my roots!" she shrieked as she pointed to her brown roots in her hair, masked by the blonde highlights. "I'm Lauren Mallory," she said, her voice high and nasally.

"Charmed," Jasper said, as he gestured to her seat for her to sit down so they could begin the interview.

"But of course I would do anything for Eddie. He and I are, after all, soul mates."

I heard a gagging noise in my ear similar to what I sounded like when Alice introduced herself. "Did she just refer to me as Eddie and her soul mate in one sentence?"

I coughed back a laugh. "Meaning what, exactly?" I asked, just to amuse Edward.

"Well, if he needed me for anything, of course I would cancel my appointment." It was hard to miss the innuendo underlying "anything" and I'm sure she would give that Katarina character a run for her money.

"Uh, that's very…considerate of you," I said carefully. "I'm sure he appreciates that. So how did you know that you two were - how did you put it - soul mates?"

"Well, I was like totally depressed one day because my boyfriend of three months dumped me for a total bitch that dressed like skanky whore and probably gave it up to him the first time they met!"

"How nice," I said noncommittally.

"Uh, I wasn't done. So anyways my friend took me to a movie and it was Secret of the Grave and it just made me see, that like, Tyler totally wasn't worth it. And that there are better guys out there who would be better suited to give me the lifestyle I deserve. You know?"

"Yeah, guys like that are hard to find." I grumbled sarcastically.

"Oh, so you're gay then?"

Edward laughed out loud and I must have looked confused because she barreled on. "I know how hard it must be for you to find a decent man."

"Yeah, yeah, terrible. You know, Ms. Mallory, we'll get in contact with you next week regarding our decision."

Lauren left the room slowly, making sure to swing her assets just in case Edward was in hiding the cabinets or something. God only knows. "One more before lunch, Jasper," Anita said, leading in a brunette girl.

"Thanks, Anita." I once again gestured to the chair to have the girl sit. She looked around the room nervously before setting herself down gingerly in the chair, sitting on the edge, hands clasped in her lap.

"I'm Bella Swan," she said, when I came up empty handed with her profile sheet. I looked in the stack below the first pile and found hers, pulling it out.

"So you work at a bookstore and a bar?"

"Um," she looked around the room again, "Yeah. Well, I manage the bookstore. And my dad owns the bar. Its temporary until he finds another bartender. The last one sort of had this people disorder. They're looking into it."

I laughed. She seemed to be on edge, and though she may not have to be funny, she still managed it. "Ask her why she came to the show." Edward's voice filled my ear. Literally.

"So, uh, what brought you to this show?" I asked.

"My soon-to-be sister-in-law," she responded flatly.

"I'm sorry?" I asked confused.

"She sent in the video for me. You know, she probably cast me as a social pariah incapable of finding a date or husband or anything, but that's not true. I guess she's just trying to do what's best for me. So it wasn't me that wanted to come here; I got tricked into it."

"Ah, yes, I do remember that tape now. So you're from Seattle?"

"Yeah. I grew up in Phoenix but moved up there to be with my dad. And I just never got around to leaving." She sounded almost sad but Edward was already plowing away in my ear with the next question.

"Ask her what her favorite sexual position is."

"What?!" I yelled. I didn't know that this interview was to help him improve his foreplay.

Bella jumped about a foot in her chair when I yelled. "I'm sorry?" she asked. "I don't remember what I just said…"

"No, I'm sorry, I just remembered something." She was looking at me strangely and uncomfortably closely, her gaze wandering my face, looking for something, it seemed. Very disconcerting, to say the least. "On with the questions," I continued. "So, um," what was the right way to even phrase this? "Whatisyourpreferredsexualposition?"

"I'm sorry? I didn't catch that, can you repeat it?"

I closed my eyes, praying that this humiliation would be worth it. That this TV show would give us the best goddamn ratings the station had ever seen and Edward would be back in America's hearts for the embarrassment I was going through with a girl I didn't even know.

I repeated it slowly, watching as her eyes grew wide, her face flush and eyes move to the floor, making her seem more elusive and mysterious than when she came in the room hardly saying a word.

She looked up and peered at me closely again, her eyebrow rising at the little black nub in my ear – the earpiece.

"Look, I think you're a nice guy, though a little strange, and I'm really sorry to waste your time, but I just don't think this is the way I'll find someone to date. Questions like that just aren't things that are prevalent to me when I first meet someone. So you can tell Edward that with the questions he's feeding you, he'll always only have whores and gold diggers between his sheets. I'm really sorry." She stood up, gathering her bag from the floor.

"No! Stop her!" I heard Edward yelling at me. I turned to the wall with the camera.

"Seriously? You couldn't have asked that question to the nymphomaniac girl we first interviewed this morning? What even made you think of that, let alone yell it in my ear?!"

Calm, Jazz, breathe. Yes, this show better have the best goddamn ratings the TV station has ever seen.