Danny,

Chapter 3 – Take a Lesson

Danny,

There are certain facts that are not in dispute:

1) We flirted with each other for a long time

2) I rejected you because of past issues I had to deal with on my own

3) You continued being a friend to me and flew to Montana on a whim to support me

4) We eased our way into what I thought was a relationship

5) You blamed yourself for losing someone you loved and wanted to grieve on your own, just as I had

6) I continued being a friend to you and offered my support

7) You made a decision to have sex with another woman "for comfort"

There are certain assumptions that were made that obviously are in dispute:

1) I assumed that we were in a monogamous relationship

2) You assumed that we were not

3) I assumed that we would be honest with each other

4) You assumed that it was acceptable for you to lie to me to cover up your dalliances

We obviously approached what we had from diametrically opposed points of view. The only conclusion that I can reach is that we should have never been together in the first place. We were incompatible in a romantic capacity and your lies have made a platonic relationship impossible.

Lindsay

CSI:NY

Lindsay,

You have analyzed our relationship in clinical terms; obviously you are shutting down emotionally to protect yourself. If you learn anything from me, please learn that you have to deal with whatever is causing you pain or you will self-destruct and lose everything that is good about your life.

I only wanted to grieve in my own way, which led to me isolating myself from you and turning to someone else for comfort and support. I lied to you. Somewhere along the way I justified what I was doing to myself and I felt as if I owed her more than I owed you. I was wrong and I know that. I let my guilt skew my sense of right and wrong. I was willing to do the wrong things to get rid of the pain. But, like drug users, when the high is gone, I realized that I was left with more problems than I started with. Everything that was good about my life was gone.

As painful as it is, trying to hide pain or trying to run away from it doesn't work. I know that you don't consider me a friend, but at least learn from my mistakes.

Love,

Danny