Like I said, things are moving along! Thanks for reading! =)

Dear Edward,

I do actually take comfort in the fact that I will have friends at college. Jacob will be there and a few more of my friends as well. But good try on convincing me. I think you and my mom would get along well. She's all about that UCLA life, but she always did hate Forks.

I'm glad to hear college isn't that intimidating. I'm looking forward to some freedom from my dad. He's great, but also a police chief if that tells you anything.

Speaking of getting away from parents, how is it living on your own? The last time I saw your dorm situation, I was scared I'd get lost in the messes. Has it gotten any better or are you still a bit of a slob? (And don't even try to blame that roommate of yours)

Forever in Washington,

Bella

Hitting send, I look at the clock again and see it's 7:45. Jacob's 15 minutes late, and I feel the anger rising up. I know he cares, I know he cares, I know he cares is the mantra I repeat over and over again as I watch the minutes tick by.

After 13 rounds of random games on my phone, I hear his car. I wait for the sound of his door opening and shutting and feet stepping on the ground, but it doesn't come, so instead I wait for the inevitable honk of his horn – my new signal.

The horn sounds, and like the good little soldier I've become I gravitate towards the door, not even mustering up the energy for one of my classic eye rolls.

"Hey babe" he says, leaning over to kiss my cheek as I put on my seatbelt. As he pulls away, I let my anger go with him. He loves me and I love him, and all the other stuff doesn't matter anymore. I'm secure.

"Hey, I was worried you were going to cancel. I'm glad you made it." I keep the tone teasing though the message is genuine. I watch as he grips the steering wheel a little harder. His jaw tightens and it feels like hours before he speaks, the engine idling quietly in the background.

"Yeah, well I have a lot going on right now Bella. You ever worry about that? I wasn't even that late." His tone is all anger and annoyance, and I'm taken back by just how not Jacob it is.

"Hey, Jake, I was just teasing you. I really am happy to see you, let's not let this ruin the night." I hate how my voice sounds desperate. I hate that it reflects how I feel, desperate and scared as a child might feel separated from their parent in the supermarket.

"Oh fuck this. You're the one who clearly wanted to ruin the night tonight, Isabella, not me. I am so sick of this." My birth name sounds like a bad word from his mouth. It's foreign and it nearly makes me forget he's talking to me. I almost turn my head to see where this other person, this "Isabella," is. It's just me here though, a copilot who has lost control.

He's not even looking at me now. My heart is beating faster now because I know the next few lines of this scene, and I don't foresee a happy ending.

"Sick of what? I didn't mean anything by it, Jake. Please let's just drop it. I don't want to fight." I'm begging now. Pleading to go back and undo this, to take away the cracks that have appeared so suddenly I have to wonder how long they've actually been around.

"Bella, god. I can't do this anymore. We're graduating soon, and this is so not how I want to spend the last few weeks of high school. I think- I think we should take a break." There's a decision in his voice. He's decided a future for us that I didn't agree to. I feel myself losing air, and my cheeks are wet, but I don't remember when I started crying.

"Jake, please, I don't understand. I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry I brought it up. It's just been a long day, and I was tired. I love you." I feel myself go into preservation mode, I need to say anything I can to keep him with me, "We're going to college together, and we have all these other plans. You can't just be done with that. You can't just make that decision alone."

"Things change Bella. Things change, and I'm done." He doesn't even look at me. I hear a whimper sound through the air and part of me is hopeful it came from him as a sign that this is hurting him or a sign that this is all a joke that he can't keep going along with anymore.

It's just me though, and that thought alone is enough to make it reappear.

"Bella, don't make this any harder than it has to be. We're just kids in high school." He minimizes our 5 year relationship to nothing more than the first half of one of those God awful romantic comedies like the ones where the lead character realizes they've been in love with their best friend the entire time.

I thought Jacob was my best friend, though.

"But Jake-" I try to sputter out, but he shakes his head and looks at me for the first time in what feels like eternity.

"Bella. Please. Just go. We're over." He leans over me, careful not to touch me and opens my door. His hands go immediately return to the steering wheel. Speechless, I exit the car and before I can even really shut the car door, he's pulling away.

How long has he been pulling away?

I wait a while in my front yard, waiting for someone to come out and clue me into the joke. I close my eyes tight, willing this to all be a dream, but no amount of pinching seems to be waking me up.

It isn't until the rain begins again that I start to move towards my house. I rush inside past the living room and up the stairs until I'm in my room. After slamming the door, which echoes pointlessly throughout the vacated house, I fold in on myself and crumble on the floor.

With my head in my hands, I focus on maintaining deep breaths. I let all other thoughts fade besides the ones responsible for the mechanism of inhaling through my nose and exhaling through my mouth. With every breath, I feel less panicked. I lift my head from my arms and immediately regret it.

Jacob is everywhere.

His jersey hangs from a chair. The card he made me for Valentine's Day two years ago is pinned to the wall by my bed. There are pictures of us on every surface, all of them reflecting back the happy couple I thought we were.

Hot tears stream down my cheeks, and I swear I can see red. I force myself to my feet and the destruction that follows would surprise anyone who knows me as the agreeable, nice Bella Swan. I throw picture frames on the ground, crumple love notes written in secrecy and rip the shirt he left here after our first time together.

By the time I'm done, my room matches how I feel. Being surrounded by all the mess comforts me, which is surprising because I never took myself for a masochist. Now that the feeling is here though, I'm not satisfied with a messy room. I look around for something, anything else I can destroy when an idea pops into my head.

I grab my computer and head to the appropriate websites to destroy the biggest thing I can think of.

My future plans.

Edward,

Change of plans. I'm headed to UCLA next month.

Bella