BPOV
I spent the entire day avoiding Edward, being late for every class because I was hiding in the girl's bathroom. When Biology class came I sat in the last stall crying before I unavoidably had to go to class. I tried harder than ever not to hear him. The way he asked me if something was wrong made my heart take a plunge towards my stomach. I hope he doesn't think he did anything wrong. The cliché of "it's not you it's me" has never been so true. I just couldn't allow myself the vulnerability that came with having friends.
I was being a complete coward. In all honesty, I desperately wanted to know Edward. My fingers ached to touch his hair. That lonely gap inside me throbbed every time I heard his voice. This was for his own good really.
After the final bell rang, I once again hid in the girl's bathroom. After the halls were quiet I walked to my locker. I opened the heavy metal doors at the bottom of the stairs I heard…
"I know she didn't leave yet, her truck is still outside. Why is she avoiding me? Fuck! All I want is to be her friend."
It took me by surprise to see that he was waiting at my locker. I looked up to see him leaning against the wall. His face looked angry; his lips were tight and his eyebrows were pulled inward causing a little crease to form between his eyes.
"Why are you avoiding me? What the fuck did I do?" he said, as he started walking toward me. I looked back down so I couldn't see his beautiful eyes.
"You didn't do anything. I-I just can't be friends with you." As I said the words I made a fatal mistake. "I would hurt too much when you leave me." I looked up to see a surprised look on his face. "Sorry," I said sheepishly.
"Is that what you think?" He ran his fingers through his hair. His jaw tightened and his nostrils flared slightly. He took in a deep breath. "I just want to get to know you," he finally said. "Don't you see how fate or some corny shit like that brought us together? Fuck Bella." He shook his head, turned and walked away.
"Pop goes the mother fucking weasel."
He sang a very vulgar version of the children's song until I heard the echo of the door closing.
I busied myself at home by cleaning the house. Charlie wasn't a messy person, but I couldn't tell who the last person who dusted was. Oh yeah I can, it was probably me last year. I stood on the couch, dusting off the set of pictures that hung on the wall in a disorganized pattern. They were all of me, starting at birth to my most recent school picture. I laughed at the way I looked in pretty much all the pictures. The early elementary pictures with my teeth missing and then coming in at different times, made my forced smile looked like Igor without the hunched back. The pictures of my early teen years, when Renee tried to make me 'hip'; she teased my bangs into a large poof ball, resembling a rat's nest bow tie on my forehead. Going through the awkward phase at the same time, did nothing to make me look 'hip'.
After dusting, my allergies were now in full fledged sneeze mode, so I decided to start dinner for Charlie. I pulled out the chicken breasts, seasoned them and set them back in the fridge. I peeled the potatoes and cut them up for mashed potatoes. Soon Charlie was home and dinner was almost ready.
"Hey Bells, dinner smells great. You're going to spoil me soon." He let out a soft laugh.
"You already are," I noted to him as I rinsed off the beaters.
"Oh I forgot to tell you, Billy is coming over later, there's a game on." He pulled a beer and water out of the fridge setting them on the table. I placed dinner on his plate and mine and went to sit down.
"I guess I should have mentioned Jacob too. I'm sure she already figured that out though. Wow yum…this is delicious. She doesn't get that from Renee that's for sure."
"So Jacob's coming with Billy?" I took a bite of my dinner. He looked at me with a raised brow and swallowed his food.
"Yeah, I figured you'd know since Billy can't drive and all. This is really good Bells, thanks."
We ate the rest of our dinner without conversation. His switch was off so I had my mind to myself. I couldn't help but think of Edward. Perhaps having my mind to myself isn't always healthy. Never have I spent so much time thinking about one person. I washed the dishes, cleaned off the counters and went up stairs to do homework until Billy and Jacob came over. I looked over the Biology final project due at the end of the first semester. It was useless…I'd have to spend time with Edward.
The Blacks showed up soon after my rather dooming enlightenment. I found Jacob in the kitchen with his head in the fridge. He closed the door with a beer for Charlie and Billy.
"Hey," I said looking down.
"Hey," he said sounding a bit sad. "Bella?"
"Yeah?" I looked up at him to see him. I never realized how sort of beautiful he was.
"Wanna get out of here for a little while?" His smile was encouraging and warm.
"Please say yes…please"
"I can't, I still have a lot of homework to do" I tried tirelessly to escape the closing feeling my chest was having. Maybe there was in the damp air that made people actually pay attention to me, maybe it was because I was new. Whatever the reason, I felt panicked. My breathing became shallow and I felt like I wasn't receiving oxygen from the air. I tried to breath but the more I tried the less oxygen I received.
"Bella!" Jacob dropped the beers, catching me as I started to fall. His russet colored skin was warm and inviting as he pulled me to his chest. It was the first time a boy had ever touched me like this, and I couldn't even enjoy it.
"Oh God Bella…Bella what's wrong with her…"
"I… can't… breathe" I said in between inhaling. Charlie came barreling into the kitchen.
"What happened?!?" he yelled at Jacob.
"I don't know. I asked if she wanted to take a walk or something and she just started breathing funny." Jacob let go of me as Charlie lifted me.
"I have to get her to the hospital. Man she hates hospitals."
I started shaking my head violently. "No…hospital…" I whispered.
"Jacob, get the door" he ordered. Jacob obeyed and Charlie carried me to the police cruiser. "Get in!" he yelled at Jacob who was standing on the porch with Billy beside him. "NOW!" He opened the back door and sat me inside. Jacob crawled in beside me pulling me onto his lap.
"Breathe Bella Please just keep breathing…you're going to be okay…she has to be okay…it's going to be okay."
"She hasn't had a panic attack in years…Christ one day here and already I'm a horrible parent. Renee is going to have my ass."
I wanted to turn it off but I couldn't calm myself down enough to find the switch. Jacob continued begging. Charlie was pleading. It was too much. I was a burden on everyone.
We pulled into Forks Community Hospital, and as soon as the doors opened I was bombarded by voices. It was too much. I tried to breathe. I wanted to breathe. The more I couldn't the more panicked I became.
"Dr. Cullen!" a nurse yelled as Charlie placed me on a gurney. Cullen? Edward's family?
This caused my already erratic breathing to become even more erratic. "Chief Swan, what happened?" He shined a light in my eyes and quickly listened to my breathing. "Miss Swan listen to me, you're having a mild panic attack. You're going to be just fine."
He walked out of the room as the nurse was placing the oxygen tube around my face.
"I need to you to take long deep breaths Isabella. Can you do that for me?" She placed a clip on my thumb and monitored my pulse. "Inhale one…two…three…now exhale one…two…three…that's it just keep breathing like that."
"Jesus Christ! What does this girl need her ass wiped to? Get the over it you emo teenage bitch…my shift was almost over."
"Panic attack? What did I do to send her into a panic attack? Man, I'll never forgive myself if I hurt her…"
"I wonder if the insurance covers mental health care; fucking HMO bastards…probably not."
Dr. Cullen walked back through the curtain and handed me two little blue pills in a paper cup along with a glass of water. "Here you go Isabella. This is Xanax it will help calm you down." I put the pills in my mouth and swallowed them with the water. "They may cause drowsiness, so I suggest once you get home- stay home. You may also start to feel nauseous you can take some over the counter medicine for it. I'll have Tanya start on your release papers. "Chief Swan, may I talk to you outside for a moment?" Charlie let go of my hand and followed Dr. Cullen out into the hallway, closing the door behind them with an echoing thud.
I looked up to see a very worried Jacob standing beside the bed with his arms folded over his chest. I continued to take deep slow breaths and eventually I was able to speak with out fear of dying. "Jacob, it's nothing you did. Just in case you may have thought so," I quickly added at the end. Life was so much easier when I didn't talk to anyone but my parents.
I started to feel light headed as every muscle in my body began to relax. I closed my eyes and searched my mind for my cerebral switches and dials. It was hazy and clouded. Jacob's thoughts were become less and less audible as the drugs began having an effect of my brain. It seemed as if I laid there in bed for hours until Charlie finally showed back up with my release papers in hand. "We have to go by a pharmacy; Dr. Cullen is prescribing you xanax to take daily." He held his hand up in a defensive posture, "before you start telling me how much you hate pills, and they'll just make you sick, I explained everything to Dr. Cullen, and he assured me these are not the same types of medications you had before." Did I mention Charlie had verbal diarrhea when he was upset or nervous? No… oh he does.
Jacob looked down at his feet and shoved his hands in his pockets purposefully avoiding my gaze. I closed my eyes again, and franticly searched so I didn't have to hear what Jacob thought about what he had just heard about me. Surprisingly, his only thought was concern for me.
Charlie helped me up off the bed and into the cruiser. The xanax was in full force and I felt dizzy and loopy. "You know Jacob" I stared at him in the back of the cruiser with me "you're really beautiful." I said, with great confidence. He blushed under his tanned skin.
"Thanks Bella," he laughed at me slightly "too bad it's the medication talking." He gave me a faint smile and went to looking out the window as the dark shadows of trees passing by.
"Not as beautiful as you. I wish she really meant that. I'd treat her right. It's obvious she's been hurt before. Why else would she be so closed off from everyone? It's just going to take time. And I have a lot of time."
He looked at me again and patted my hands there resting in my lap. Another touch from Jacob, yet I seemed to not feel anything. Charlie dropped off the prescription at the local 24 hour pharmacy and we arrived back at the house with Billy waiting patiently on the couch watching the outtakes from the game Charlie had missed.
"Bella, you had a phone call." Billy called from the living room. It was probably Renee so I wasn't too pressed to know who had called.
"Thanks Billy," I managed to say as I held on to the wall at the bottom of the stairs.
"It was Edward Cullen, he said something about a Biology project," he stated. If I hadn't already been on drugs to keep me calm, I would have gone right back into a full blown panic attack again.
Just the sound of his name makes the sharp fluttery reaction explode inside me. I suddenly felt extremely sick, I ran up the stairs and tripped and stumbled my way to the bathroom. After vomiting up my dinner, I brushed my teeth and practically crawled to my bedroom. I didn't bother finding pajamas; I simply took off my jeans, leaving them in the middle of the floor. I left on my t-shirt and crawled into bed; falling asleep thinking of green eyes, crooked smiles, and velvety music lyrics.
Yep, I'm screwed.
The next morning my head hurt from either the medication or the mind blowing dreams I had last night about an illicit boy. I padded quietly to the bathroom and found some aspirin. I stepped into the shower allowing the hot water sooth my aching body. Not the aching of pain, but more of a longing ache. Every time I graze over my breasts with my wash cloth the throbbing screamed to be soothed. I rinsed off body and ignored my hair and stepped out of the bathroom. Mornings have always been my favorite time of day. I got to be alone with myself for two hours before the relentless and exhausting tasks of keeping people quiet.
Downstairs I found a small pill bottle on the kitchen table with a small piece of paper.
Bella,
Here's your prescription, please take it.
Dad
Charlie must have picked it up early this morning before going to work. I sat down and ate a bowl of cereal before throwing one of the pills in the trash can to make it seem like I had taken it. What happened last night was a one time event; I hadn't had a panic attack since I was seven. As I was washing out my bowl the phone rang.
I dried my hands knowing it was Charlie. He was probably making sure I found the medicine.
"Hey Dad, I found the medicine, I took one, and I'm fine." I said, into the phone without saying hello.
"Um Bella, its Edward."
EPOV
Waking up this morning sucked. After my pseudo therapy session with the latest crap doctor, I snuck downstairs and stole a little bit of liquor from Carlisle's collection; as in a little bit of every open bottle so he wouldn't notice a few shots missing. It did the job though; I was drunk by midnight and passed out on top of my covers by 12:30am. Pappy never opened his office door. I was the piano collecting dust in the corner of his mind.
I opened my night stand drawer removed my smokes and my pills ready to start my day. I was surprise to see it hadn't started raining yet today, but I'm sure with in the hour it will change. Last night, while I was in my drunken genius mode, I contemplated a plan to have Bella talk to me, diabolical I know. I never said I walked the straight and narrow path.
Pappy rewarded my "good behavior" by giving me my car back. Fuck I missed her. Her shiny silver paint, black leather interior, I sunk low in the seat breathing in the goodness of my mistress…aka Volvo. The little fucking cricket in my head told me what I was doing was wrong, but fuck it, this would give me what I wanted and the hell with conscious thought.
I left early that morning to drive around town. It took me a whole ten minutes to find Bella's truck parked outside her house. Charlie's car was gone so I took matter into my own hands. I snaked around to her truck letting out the air in her left rear tire. I saw the light in the kitchen be turned on so I quickly retreating back into the Volvo and drove around the corner. I had to tell Jiminy to fuck off a few more times. I picked up the piece of paper I had written her phone number on (gotta love listed phone numbers). It rang once and she picked up.
It caught me off guard. She thought I was Charlie. I let her ramble, just because I was fucked up and loved the sound of her musical voice.
"Um Bella, its Edward," I spoke as calmly as I could. Breaking out the low seductive voice, I smiled knowing that shit always worked.
Okay maybe not. I heard a loud crash and some quiet muffled innocent profanities. She was fucking adorable how she never cursed. Again holy water and shit don't mix, but I was willing to taint the fuck out of it. "Bella?" I asked, into an empty phone.
"Sorry…" she sound out of breath "…just give me a second." I heard another soft click and waited. "Okay," she spoke so warily into the phone after a few seconds.
"I wanted to know if you wanted a ride to school. I thought maybe we could go over ideas for the Bio project a little bit." I gave my self a mental pat on the back. I really was a drunken genius.
"No thanks, I'll just take my truck." She paused for a few seconds "bye." Fuck what…wait…
"Wait!" I shouted into the phone.
"What?" she sounded a bit irritated.
"At least write down my number okay. That way you can call me if you need too." I heard her take a deep breath in defeat.
"Fine, what is it?" I proceeded to give her my number hoping she really was writing that shit down. Once she saw her truck was unable to be driven she'd call me. She hung up without saying bye and I stared at the phone in disbelief.
Edward Cullen is losing his touch. Fuck. I lit up another cigarette and waited to for her to call. After waiting five or ten minutes and no phone call I drove back around the block to see her walking in the direction of the school. I pulled the mistress over and exited. As I did, a loud thunder crashed and it caused Bella to jump and look up at the sky.
"Hurry up, get in!" I shouted to her. She looked at me with tight beady eyes. Don't think Cullen; don't think…I chanted over and over. I guess I wasn't that genius after all. Philosophical question one; how do you keep a secret from a mind reader? So maybe drunken genius is a bit of an oxymoron, but it sounded perfect at the time.
She hugged her book tightly and ran to the passenger side of the car. As soon as we both shut our doors, rain drops shattered on the ground.
"How did you know where I lived?"
"It's a small town and you're the only person with a loud ass, beast of a Chevy." I answered honestly. I was going to love silent conversations with her. She seemed uncomfortable so I turned up the heater for her.
"You can put on whatever you want. You look upset." She finally laid her books on her lap but shook her head no.
"I'm fine," she paused momentary. "darn it, I mine as well be honest with you. It's not like I can keep it a secret anyways… You scare me."
I scare her? Why on earth would I scare her? Sure I had a foul mouth and I did say 'fuck you' to her, but I apologized and I though we were kosher. Weren't we?
"You scare me because…" her inner voice was timid and soft "…I've never had any friends before," she laughed at herself and hugged her books again.
I didn't know what to say. For the first time I was speechless. I didn't want to pity her, because she was strong and she'd hate that shit, but I did pity her. I couldn't imagine life without friends. I thought about James and Vikki back in New York. I've known them sense the first grade, and only recently did I have to fathom life without them; one permanently because of me. I forced them out of my head.
"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that," she didn't say anything. She just turned the radio up and found a station she liked. Thankfully it wasn't, shoot me in the head, my dog died and my wife left me, country.
She just lied back in the seat closing her eyes and sang along with the song…verbally. I was astounded. I tried to focus on the short drive. We were only a few blocks away, but I never wanted her to leave. I wanted to engross myself in her beauty and innocents. Fuck me backwards. I snuck peaks of her. I found a reason to open my glove box just to lean in closer to her and smell her tropical scent. As much as I wanted, I fought the urge to kiss her.
"That's probably a good idea," then she cracked a smile and continued to sing.
Isabella Swan is going to be the death of me.
Philosophical question two; how does some one who is apparently prone to mental diarrhea not think so he can hit on a girl who can hear his thoughts? Yeah I'm fucking lost on that one too.
As I pulled up into a parking spot the smirk on my face fell. I didn't want her to leave.
"Thanks for the ride. It wasn't raining when I left." She pulled her hair back into a pony tail and I wanted to kiss the nap of her neck where her hair meets and lick my way down to her shoulder. She turned looked at me and her face was blushed with the sexiest color pink. It made my dick twinge.
"You're welcome," was all I could muster up. It was my turn to put my head down. Edward fucking playboy Cullen was blushing. She opened the car door and walked quickly to the schools front doors. I watched as she tried to avoid the puddles, she looked back at me and smiled and then stepped in the largest puddle in the parking lot. Good mind reader- she is, good psychic- she is not, or very observant for that matter.
I kept the car running as I lit up a smoke. I cracked my window slightly to allow the smoke to escape. I heard the passenger side door open, and it startled me causing me to drop my lit cigarette to on my lap. Fuck Pappy's gonna have my ass if I burn the leather. I quickly found the cigarette right on the crotch of my pants.
"Fucking rain…fucking Forks…"
I watched Jasper pull out his cigarettes from his jacket… "Fucking fuck".
I let out a laugh and threw my pack at him. "Next time knock asshole, I almost burnt my dick and my mistress!" I took another drag.
"Sorry, didn't want to enter the abyss of the shithole with out a good nicotine boost." He inhaled and smiled at me. He blew out his hold, "so, nice ride," he looked at the back seat being a nosy fuck. I didn't care really. "You still on for Saturday?"
"Yep, as long as I still have my mistress…" I crested the dashboard and kissed the steering wheel, "…and Pappy isn't being a dickwad." I added at the end. He started laughing as me molesting my car.
"Tight. I have three kegs already lined up and thanks to the single Mom syndrome; I now have a good twelve bottles of various liquor." He opened the door and flicked his cigarette out. "Later, here comes Banner," he tipped his head in the direction of the school. I shut off the car and put my cigarette out. I walked with Jasper to the school doors and went in search for Bella.
I walked into the cafeteria on my way up to my locker. I was guessing she was already in class, I didn't hear her anywhere. When I got to my locker I fucked up the combination twice because all I could hear was other people repeating their combination. Once I got it open a folded piece of paper fell on to the floor at my feet. I picked it up, shoved it in my back pocked. I shoved the books I didn't need in my locker and took out the ones I did. I headed off to first period with Bella on the brain.
"Ten…Nine…Eight…Fucking kill me now. Seven…Six…Shut the fuck up. Five…Four…
Three…"
"Can you do me a favor?" I couldn't make it to one. I looked a Jessica, annoyed as fuck, "Shut. The. Fuck. Up." I smiled at her, "Thank you!"
She had caught me after class and was following me like a fucking lost puppy dog. It was extremely pathetic. I really didn't hear a word she said. I stormed off to second period praying to God, that if he loved me like all the little children of the world, he'd give me a minute to get a smoke. He must not because Banner was outside on the side of building where Jasper and I smoke. Now, I could have gone into the boys bathroom, but I wasted my fucking time walking my pissed off ass down here. So instead I stomped off to second period listening for the jumping bean, I was going to avoid her like the mother fucking plague.
On my way to third period I found Jasper and we ditched. I thought it would have taken more convincing to get him to ditch but because he didn't have class with Alice he didn't give a fuck. Boy was as bad as the jumping bean. The rain had eased up enough for us to hide out in the woods behind the school. Apparently he did this often because he knew exactly were to go. I leaned up against a boulder in the middle of the forest and pulled out my cancer sticks. I offered Jasper one and he willingly took it.
"So Eddie, where are you from?" he fucked around with his phone and looked up at me.
"Okay first off it's Edward and like I said, unless you have a flask hidden in that jacket, don't ask." I took a drag of my cigarette. I looked down at me drenched feet. Fuck it.
"Here," he said, "catch." I looked up and he was holding a small silver flask in his hand. Yep, Jasper Whitlock is the fucking man. "So, as you were saying…" he motioned for me to continue. I twisted off the cap and took a swig of what tasted like cheap rum.
"New York," I said simply. I technically answered his question and I was not offering anything I didn't need to.
"Damn and you ended up here how?" he took a drag of his cigarette and took the flask back. "That's fucked up," he stated. Yes indeed, how fucked up it was. And he didn't know the half of it. He took a swig, "Yankee…damn I'm friends with a fucking Yankee," he looked at me and took another swig "my Pop-Pop would have my ass ya know." It wasn't until then that I recognized his accent.
"Where are you from?" I pulled the flask out of his hands taking a swallow.
He laughed at me slightly before answering "Texas," and taking another drag of his cigarette.
"Racist," I laughed at him. He just smirked and took of his jacket. "WHOA there big boy, I said I was from New York, not that I was a fag." I took another drink. He just gave me the finger. He turned around and lifted his shirt. He had a huge ass confederate flag tattooed on his back with 'REBEL' written in large block letter above it.
"And you got that how?" I asked. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't slightly jealous of him. I've wanted a tat for a year now but good Ol' Pappy refused to sign for one; fucking prick. He bitched a fit just by me growing out my hair. He keeps saying it looks dirty and un-kept.
"My uncle is a tat artist back home. I got it over the summer on vacation. Single child, spoiled…" he shrugged his shoulders "I pretty much get what I want."
"Except Alice."
You could always tell when he is thinking of Miss Pixie, he gets either a huge ass smile or pouts like a two year old. I barely knew him and I felt sorry for him. Boy's hard up.
"Alice going to be there?" I raised my eyebrow at him giving him a smirk.
"Fuck I hope so, I told her in biology yesterday about it" he took one last swig of cheap rum and replaced in his jacket. He handed me a piece of gum and popped on in himself.
"Good because I don't want to see your whiny ass mope at your own fucking party," I grabbed my shit and we started walking back to the school.
I walked straight to Biology and she was there waiting alone, smiling when she heard me come in.
BPOV
After leaving Edward's car, the fact my truck had a flat wasn't even on my mind anymore. I went to class, not concentrating on the lesson, I was called to read out loud in my English class. I think taking xanax isn't such a big deal after all. After Edward called me this morning, I pulled the pill out of the trash and took it. It has helping surprisingly well. I use to have problems reading out loud, or answering a question when the teacher called on me, but today, even though my thinking was a bit blurry, I read the five paragraphs with no problem. The only bad side affect so far, is I feel more open, more, dare I say, outgoing?
I found it easier to tune everyone out today, possibly from the extra relax state my mind is in. That left my mind to think about other things; mostly and sadly, Edward. I contemplated why I felt drawn to him. Maybe it was because we did share a very unique gift, or maybe because I wanted to have my way with him like the rest of the raging hormonal teenage girls in Forks High. I couldn't think of a better person to ease my internal flame of fervor.
So that led me to now. Early to Biology waiting for Edward, praying he'd come early too. I sat at the lab table looking out the window; the light rain was still falling. I thanked Charlie for buying me water proof boots yesterday. Then off in a distance, I could hear him. I could almost feel him as he edged closer to the open door of our Biology class. I tried to restrain my smile, but it was too late, he entered the room glaring at me. I couldn't help but smile wider. I started to blush so I looked down and started playing with my hair; twirling it around my finger.
"You're early," he said, walking to the table smiling. I could hear the excitement in his voice.
"So are you."
"Why are you smiling so much?" I didn't know why he would ask me this. Was I not supposed to? The smile quickly fell from my face and I drew up my brown silky curtain of hair. Stupid outgoing xanax.
"Xanax? Why are taking that?" Stupid mind reading sexy boy.
"I had a slight panic attack last night…ended up in the ER…treated by your Dad, at least I think he is…and now here I am doped up."
"Sexy boy huh?" he flashed me a beautiful smile. I felt the warmth between my legs grow and the urge to savage him was barely tamable.
"Come away with me in the night. Come away with me and I will write you a song…"
I started singing the first song that came to mind. As I continued the lyrics, I realized it wasn't the best choice of song, as true as they may be.
"Don't stop, I love to hear you sing. It helps keep the others out. I'd join you but I don't know this song."
I smiled sheepishly at him. I could feel the flush in my face. I just shook my head no and put my head down grinning like an idiot.
Mr. Banner came into the class room, pinning up a large chart on the wall. I went back to occupying my mind with anything not Edward related. I think it is more exhausting to keep someone off my mind appose to keeping someone out of my mind.
"Okay ladies and gentlemen listen up," Mr. Banner spoke up with excitement. "We are doing a day long scientific experiment," a lot of students let out loud huffs and sighs. "Quiet down. We are going to see if the size of the thumbs have any leverage on who wins…you ready for it…the thumb war." The classroom filled with laughter.
"Thumb war? As in touching? I can't touch him…I can't…I've never…"
Edward looked up at me with a wary look on his face. He winked and smiled and it made it that much worst.
Banner handed out string, a ruler, and a piece of paper to write down the measurements of our thumbs. I looked at Edward scared to death. He put his hand in his pocket…
"Take this."
He placed a little pill in my lap. "What is it?" I asked.
"It'll help you not freak the fuck out."
I picked up the little pill waited for Mr. Banner to turn his back and swallowed the pill. As Mr. Banner continued to explain the assignment, I felt a wave of calm rush over my body. What ever he'd given me was working. "Okay begin," Mr. Banner stated from the front of the class.
Edward stuck out his hand waiting for me to take it. I didn't know what to do. I've never played this before. Man, I felt like a moron. What kind of person doesn't know how to play thumb war?
"A person who's never given themselves a chance to be touched."
"I've been touched," I defended myself. He didn't need to know it was only twice and I didn't feel anything, literally nothing.
I looked up at Edward; his face looked calm and bright. His eyes seemed more brilliant than normal. I rubbed my hands on my jeans, because they were damp from the sweat. I bit my bottom lip, willing my hand to move toward his. My hand was shaky and I couldn't seem to steady it. I was about an inch away when he reached in and grabbed my hand.
His eyes flew open and quickly removed his hand from mind, rubbing his palms together.
"Did you hear that?"
I looked at him in surprise, but it wasn't what we heard, it's what we didn't hear.