Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

All right, I'm on a roll here, so bear with me ;-)

My stomach rolled again as my mind tried to process the churning swill of thoughts and emotions that had taken hold of it. Edward kept my hair out of my face as dry heaves wrecked my body and I gasped for air, clutching the sheets in confusion as the realisation of what had happened hit me. Edward was here. I could feel his fingers as they held my hair, touching the skin on my neck. He had come back to me.

I could hear voices I had never expected to hear again. After seven months, they filled my room and clouded my mind. Carlisle was saying something as my heartbeat throbbed in my head and bright lights flashed before my eyes. My lungs refused to fill, the muscles in my stomach wouldn't stop constricting, and my fingers released the sheets to claw at the mattress in a futile attempt to release whatever part of the pain I could. This was all too fast, I couldn't keep up. Edward spoke to me, his cool breath caressing my face, his wonderful smell bringing up memories I had tried so hard to forget. Carlisle was prying my fingers loose from the mattress, sending shivers down my back. I shut my eyes against the bright lights and my bed started swaying as if it was back in the water with me, the recollection bringing cold sweat to my forehead.

Amidst all the swaying I suddenly felt two cold, steady hands on either side of my face, keeping me steady. My eyes flew open again and locked with Carlisle's as he was holding my head between his hands. I saw his lips move and forced myself to focus on his words.

"Bella. Bella, look at me. Please calm down."

His voice was steady, slow and reassuring and I felt myself relax slightly under his stare.

"Take deep breaths. Everything's okay. It's all right, Bella."

Air rattled noisily to and from my lungs. It hurt, but after a few minutes I grew calmer and the throbbing in my head lessened a bit. Carlisle kept his hands on the sides of my face and his gaze never left mine. Then he smiled.

"That's right. Everything's all right, Bella. Now stay with me, eh?"

I nodded slightly as Carlisle released me, picked up the waste bin and handed it to Edward, who turned and strode out the door. The hole in my chest flared and I rolled onto my back again, letting my head sink into the pillow. I'd only stared at the blurry ceiling for a moment when Carlisle's face swam into focus.

"We need to get you warm, Bella. That's the most important thing now," he said slowly, as if he thought I might misunderstand him. "Your clothes are damp. Can you take them off and pull on dry ones while we wait outside?"

Under normal circumstances I would've blushed furiously, but somehow I couldn't find the energy to be embarrassed. He did have a point, I realized. I was still shivering and couldn't feel my fingers or toes. I gave Carlisle a weak nod and he left my bedroom, closing the door behind him.

I released a shuddering breath. What had just happened? I just didn't understand. Why were they here? Why now? I tried to think of an answer, but couldn't. Perhaps I should just focus on one thing for now. On the task at hand, for example. I scrambled to my feet.

It was rather difficult to take my clothes off. The wet fabric clung to my skin before I could throw it on the floor beside the bed. Exhausted, I lay down for a moment before I grabbed the T-shirt and sweater Edward had given me and pulled them over my head. The spasms in my muscles didn't make it easier, and I nearly wished that as there were already two members of the Cullen household back in Forks, they could've brought Alice with them too. She might have helped me, perhaps. Like she'd done last summer...

When I'd wriggled into my pyjama bottoms my breath caught painfully in my throat and my back hurt even more than before. I closed my eyes and let the darkness gathering at the edges of my vision gain ground.

A knock on the door told me Carlisle wanted to come in again. I made no objection and heard the door open while I lay on the bed, catching my breath. I forced my eyelids back slightly and saw Carlisle somehow taking off the damp sheets with me lying on top of them while Edward covered me with several blankets. When they were done, I slowly tugged at the uppermost blanket until it covered my head, and immediately drifted away into the dark realms of oblivion. It was a shame not to look at him while he was here, but I was just so tired...

oo000oo

I dreamt of dark waters tumbling me around and around, tossing and turning, not knowing where the surface was, knowing I would die alone, and awoke with a jolt. The light in the room had barely changed; I could not have been asleep for long. I was still exhausted. Then I realised I had stopped shivering and could actually feel my limbs. I wasn't exactly warm yet, but it was better. Unfortunately the throbbing in my head hadn't lessened, nor had the ache between my shoulder blades.

Edward sat in the rocking chair in the corner, his body strained towards me, looking as if he'd never left, and walked towards me as soon as he saw I was awake. I thought he was coming to stand by my side, but he suddenly halted at the foot of the bed and stood there rather awkwardly. How strange. I'd never seen Edward awkward before.

Then Carlisle came through the door, holding a mug. "Please try to drink some of this," he commented.

I managed to bring my hands up from underneath the pile of blankets and took the warm mug from him, sipping carefully without really tasting what I drank while they watched me in silence. This was surreal, confusing and hurting and my head swam as I put the mug on the bedside cabinet and lay back again, staring at the ceiling. Carlisle's soft voice broke the silence.

"Bella, what has happened to you?"

And so it began; the inevitable questioning. I didn't want to answer him. What did he expect me to say? Did he want me to summarise the last seven months for him in neat, clever sentences? To clarify for him what their leaving had done to me? What I had felt as every member of his family had abandoned me without as much as a note? I had no answers for him, or for myself for that matter. I was empty, devoid of love or hate or regret or shame. All I felt now was exhaustion.

Carlisle looked at me, waiting for an answer. He must have felt he wasn't going to get one because he murmured something I was unable to hear and then asked me if he could look me over. I made no objection and continued staring at the ceiling while Carlisle started prodding and poking me, bending my limbs and taking my temperature with his hands. I paid no attention to him until he started murmuring softly as if to himself, yet loud enough for me to hear.

"Well, as we could see from the contents of the bin Edward emptied, you have swallowed a lot of water."

He paused for a moment. I said nothing and kept my eyes on the ceiling.

"From the smell of it, I'd guess it was sea water." A short silence. "Hearing the way you breathe, it probably invaded your lungs as well as your stomach."

Another pause as I refused to comment on his conclusions. It was all right for him to disappear without a trace and show up again unannounced - he had barged into my room, for God's sake - but if he thought I was going to aid him in uncovering the depths of my demise after his son discarded of me like I was a piece of trash, he was freaking wrong.

"Though I cannot hear any fluids in your lungs anymore," he added, wonder seeping through his voice. "How did you get out of the water, Bella?"

I closed my eyes, trying to reign in the irritation that was flowing through my veins. He obviously already guessed most of what had happened. No need for me to tell him anything.

"Well, no matter, no matter. The important thing is that you did, isn't it?" His voice was louder now, more insistent, but I kept silent.

"Though I must admit I'm more worried about your weight, Bella," he said, addressing me directly now. "You're so much thinner than before, and there really was nothing but water in your vomit."

His insinuation hung in the air like a tempest and I could feel where this was going. Anger, an emotion I hadn't felt for a long time, started bubbling through my blood and I frowned unwillingly, though I managed to keep my eyes closed.

"Pray, tell me, when did you last eat?"

My frown disappeared as I recounted the similar question I had asked Edward this morning and I opened my eyes. Sheer irritation urged me to stare at Carlisle unblinkingly while I threw his own words back at him.

"Pray, tell me, shouldn't you ask your son the same question?" Carlisle blinked at my seemingly polite retort and turned his head towards Edward, who was standing at the foot of my bed. I kept looking at Carlisle; two could play at this game.

"Or does his health not concern you anymore?" I croaked.

Two pairs of eyes shot back to me, and I think I saw a hint of truth in my allegations cross Carlisle's features as I guessed on.

"Did you leave him? Or was it the other way around?"

It was Carlisle's turn to frown now. He opened his mouth to answer me, but I pressed on.

"Because if you had been together, Edward wouldn't have those dark shadows underneath his eyes. But no matter, no matter, it makes no difference whatsoever. Truly, I think disappearing without a trace is a trait you both master equally well."

Edward gasped at my words, but Carlisle's regarded me silently while I secretly marvelled at my own audacity. Anger apparently boosted my eloquence. After a few minutes he spoke, his voice quiet but strong.

"When did you last eat, Bella?"

"It's none of your damn business, Carlisle," I bristled back at him.

"How did you get in the water?"

I didn't answer. His eyes never wavered from mine.

"Did you choose to?" he persisted.

All right then, I'd pick up the gauntlet. I narrowed my eyes and kept my face devoid of any emotion except anger as I answered him straight.

"Yes."

"To kill yourself?" His voice never faltered, nor did mine.

"No."

"Why, then?"

I raised my eyebrows at him, spearing him with my gaze.

"To hear his voice."

Had I not been familiar with vampires and their ways, I would not have noticed the small flicker of surprise that registered on his face before he resumed his interrogation.

"You means Edward's voice?"

"Yes."

All my anger suddenly flooded away. I was past caring that Edward was here in the room with us, that he could hear the details of my sad sorry life and my attempts to hold onto him even when he'd thrown me away. I was exhausted, hurt beyond endurance, drained, confused and I spoke without shame, or feeling, or thought. A desire stronger than I'd ever thought I'd feel to go to sleep and never, ever wake up.

"Did it work?"

"Carlisle," Edward began, but I ignored him.

"Yes."

"You heard his voice?"

"Yes. And I saw him." A sad smile at the memory. "At the end."

There it was; the inevitable pity in his eyes. I didn't want his pity after all this time, after what he'd done, and I looked away. Edward had left the room again; it was just another stab, another portion of pain piled on everything else I had felt today. I lay on the bed, waiting for something to happen, or for them to leave me again. After a few minutes, he spoke.

"Bella."

I didn't look at him.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. We never should have left you the way we did."

I wanted to shout at him, scorn him, call him names, break down at his feet and let him hold me, comfort me, let him be my father as he had once been, but I couldn't. I had blocked my emotions so thoroughly they couldn't get out, even if I wanted them to. This morning had left me so numb I just lay there at his mercy, waiting for him to decide what to do.

"I'm sorry," he said again after a while, "I know you must be exhausted, but I'm worried about your body temperature. It isn't dangerously low any more, but I think a bath might do you good. Are you up for that?"

I nodded. Whatever. Carlisle bended over me and carefully scooped me from the bed. My legs dangled in the air as I lay limply in his arms, trying to regain some distance between me and the man that had left me by fighting the impulse to rest my head against his shoulder. He smelled of home. It made me feel lost and sad as I realised that Carlisle would never represent my home in the way I had once hoped he would. I was all alone now.

Carlisle carried me to the bathroom where Edward was already filling the tub. He flitted around the edges of my vision as Carlisle sat me down on the closed lid of the toilet and told me to take it easy and call him if I needed anything. He had already closed the door when I forced myself to take some action and started struggling out of my clothes again. My limbs ached from the fall and it took a while before I was naked and stood facing the tub. It was filled almost to the brim with cloudy white water. The warmth of it was slightly overwhelming as I climbed in shakily.

I laid my head back against the tub and closed my eyes, tired beyond belief. The hole in my chest tore open and I shuddered silently with the force of it. I hadn't jumped off the cliff to kill myself, but when I'd seen him in the water I'd given up fighting. Did my lack of action constitute a suicide attempt? And if it did, shouldn't I feel worried?

I didn't. It didn't matter. Edward was here, I loved him, but he didn't love me back. He would leave again, had probably left already. Did I want to be around to experience that kind of pain again? I already felt the beginnings of the anguish I had felt as he had left me the first time. It would happen again...

Suddenly I felt older than I had ever intended to feel, ever intended to be. The silence in the bathroom was hollow, making my own breaths sound loud and unnatural as they echoed off the water's surface. I silently slid beneath it.