xXXXx

"Chuck, I'm not leaving you. I'm not going anywhere, you know that, yes?"

"I do, Sarah, I don't doubt that. Honestly, I don't."

"Good," Sarah sighed, relief evident in her voice. The two of them were back in their Echo Park apartment, having excused themselves shortly after the suppression device attempt, with a promise to catch up further with everyone later. "What is it then? I could feel your anguish at Ellie's. I think even Morgan picked up on it."

Chuck attempted a smile at that, but it faltered. He took a couple breaths; she waited. "I failed you, Sarah."

Her voice full of disbelief, Sarah asked softly, "How did you fail me, Chuck?"

"I didn't protect you from Quinn."

"Chuck, that's sil…"

"I'm your husband!" Chuck said that louder than he intended; his next words were gentle. "I know its old fashioned, and if we did an accounting I am sure the ledger would show you've saved me more times than I could hope to save you in a lifetime, but I'm your husband and I'm supposed to protect you, especially when you're vulnerable."

"Chuck, I do remember who I was before coming to Burbank, and I am not without the means to protect myself."

"I know. But, Quinn..." Chuck's head was slowly shaking, his eyes unfocused, as he ground that name between his teeth. "I let him take you and escape. You were hurting and I couldn't help you or stop him. Yet, and God only knows what you had to endure, you were able to send me a distress signal. But then I was too late."

"Chuck, I don't remember what happened with Quinn before he showed up pretending to be my handler -maybe that's a mercy- but I don't doubt that you tried everything possible to find me, to save me from him. And I'm here, standing here with you, because you did save me. You saved me when you took the bullet that Quinn meant for me, and you saved me when I was lost on that stretch of beach."

Chuck was still angry with himself, but Sarah's words helped to temper that anger. "He may be dead, but I cannot shake the feeling that Quinn has won and I let him win because I took the last pristine Intersect. What if the Intersect could have given you your memories back? What if Ellie's plan could have worked?"

"You took the Intersect to save the lives of hundreds. That's the Chuck my heart knows. You put those people's well-being first, and spared their loved ones from having to grieve, at the cost of your own happiness."

"Maybe there was another way," Chuck's voice trailed off.

"Chuck, there was no time. Anyways, you heard your sister. She doubts, seriously doubts, her plan to use the Intersect to give me back my memories would have worked as intended. When she and I were alone, we spoke some about it. She now thinks in all likelihood the attempt would have left me feeling disjointed, disconnected. Instead of genuine memories, they would have felt -how did she put it?- like looking at a bad Xerox copy of a bad Xerox copy. I would have understood what I saw, but the images of memories would not have felt innate, and I might have ultimately found it unpleasant, maybe even heartbreaking, to bear. I think we just have to accept that my memories might not come back. And so long as we're together, I'm ok with that. Really."

Sarah finished with a smile and took both of Chuck's hands in hers. Chuck could not look at her, but Sarah pulled him in closer and leaned to peer at him until he could not help but to look into her eyes. Chuck spoke, "I told you on that roof after you... dealt... with Quinn and I took the Intersect for myself that I couldn't get your memories back…"

Sarah cut in, "And you also said you couldn't get me back, but I'm here, with you." Chuck looked deeper into Sarah's eyes, no longer shying from them. The look she gave him was so warm, so full of love, so unwavering. It was clear her emotions for him were intact, complete... and powerful.

Chuck in that instant replayed in his head the last moments in his sister's apartment when he and Sarah were heading for the door: Devon and Morgan each wanted a moment with Sarah to greet her directly and give her a hug, which she gladly returned to both of them. While Morgan proceeded to bombard Sarah with a rapid series of questions, which he did without pause thus foreclosing any chance of Sarah answering, Ellie came over to Chuck. Embracing him, she said quietly to him alone, "Do you remember what I said to you the other morning in your room? I said, 'You can't force Sarah to remember, but emotions, feelings are powerful things.' You've already seen that. Quinn's wickedness could not keep Sarah's feeling for you, for any of us, buried. Don't give up hope, little brother, she may regain her memories still. It may just be a matter of finding something emotionally powerful, immersing Sarah in it, and then giving it time to work."

"Chuck?"

Chuck snapped back. "Sorry, I was thinking about something Ellie said to me."

"That's ok. I just want to make sure you know you have me back. I may only remember being a spy and my time before that, but I know I love you."

"I do. And if we have to start from there and write a new story together, I will nonetheless consider myself the luckiest man in the world. But, what if you could have your memories back. I want to at least try. You deserve me trying."

"Chuck, I remember the person I was before I met you and I'm certain I have, right now, so much more than I deserve."

"No, Sarah, you're wrong. That's why it's important to me to try to get your memories back. I want you to remember every time you did something amazing, something wonderful to make this old Buy More Nerd count his lucky stars that you let him into your life. So that you can remember our first date, our first dance, our first kiss. So you can remember my father and how you found him for me so that I could make Ellie's wedding wish come true. And so you can remember..." Chuck paused as a tremble wound itself through him. "So you can rememb…" A mutiny by his windpipe cut off his words and Chuck found that he was on the verge of losing control over his emotions. He gulped air, settled himself. "And so you can remember when I asked you if you love me, and you, for the first time, said, 'Yes,' making me happier than I ever dreamed possible." A slight smiled played across Chuck's face as he recalled the juxtaposition of that moment: him looking ridiculous sitting in his underwear and clutching a plastic game-controller guitar while asking the most crucial question of his life. He took a deep breath and continued, "I know if we succeed it will mean you remember the times I disappointed you, when I made foolish decisions or failed to explain myself adequately and in doing so hurt you. You should know all of that, too. The good, the bad, it is all part of our story. It's a wonderful story and you should have it all, vivid and genuine, not the poor Xerox copy I can tell you. It all adds up to why you deserve every ounce of happiness I hope our life together brings you."

Somewhere along the way Sarah had begun to cry and laid her head against Chuck's chest. "Thank you, Chuck. Whatever happens, thank you."

Chuck wrapped his arms around Sarah and spoke softly into her ear. "I love you. And if you can bear with me, I have an idea -maybe a crazy idea- how we might be able to get your memories back."

~oOo~

Chuck and Sarah stood in front of the door. "Ready to go in?" He asked after a moment. Sarah nodded and inserted the key, unlocked the door, and opened it.

Chuck peered in and was struck by how much the place looked the same as he remembered it; Sarah's suite, or what had been her hotel suite at one time, and then made up again to be her place by Quinn. It still had the same excess of green, the same garish wallpaper.

Chuck had told Sarah his idea about the house earlier in the day and had been prepared to argue his case for it, anticipating that Sarah might be reluctant to return there, but she surprised him, and agreed with little hesitation. She said she was willing to try, wanted to try, even if it was a long shot, for both of their sakes. He suspected she was agreeing more for his than hers. After the two had finished a call with the realtor to put the house purchase plan into motion, Sarah had told Chuck she needed to retrieve a couple things from the long-term hotel she had been in the last few weeks. And they needed to retrieve her car, which was still at the beach from the day prior. They had her car and now were at her place.

Look at this. Quinn put her up in the same place. He was meticulous, I will grant him that. Chuck turned to look at Sarah as she was placing her car keychain that held the door key into a pocket. He wondered if returning here might trigger any memories, or at least a hint of a memory like the precious few Sarah had experienced so far. Maybe an image of a veggie pizza, no olives, will come to her? Or a burger cut in half and shared? Or a salmon colored dress that practically left me weak in the knees? Reading her face he did not see any sign that being here was conjuring anything for her. Damn.

As they moved into the suite Chuck's attention shifted to the particle board covering where the plate glass window should have been. "So that's where...?"

"That's where I dangled Quinn by his neck," Sarah said, somewhat flatly, before adding with an edge, "I should have let him drop."

Chuck thought it best to move the conversation. "Should I start gathering up anything, maybe the clothes out of the closet?"

"No, Quinn put all of that here. I don't want any of it." Sarah moved to the long dresser and vanity.

The flashing message light on the answering machine caught Chuck's eye. "You have messages."

"I'm sure it's just more from the building management pleading to schedule time to repair the window. After we leave I'll let them know I'm out and the place is theirs again."

Sarah closed the lid on a gray box sitting on the vanity and walked towards Chuck, one hand cupped in front of her. "Can you help me with these?" As she and Chuck had been approaching the apartment building, Chuck thought that Sarah appeared disquieted, but now her smile returned as she revealed what she held in her hand: her engagement ring and wedding band.

Chuck returned the smile. He thought back to the moment earlier while they dressed when he realized she wasn't wearing them and dread had set in thinking what might have happened to them (had she slipped them from her finger at some point and tossed them out like refuse, without another thought?). He had not said anything. So when he had asked on the ride what she wanted to retrieve and she had told him her rings, he was sure his relief had been painted on his face.

"It would be my pleasure." He gently plucked the rings, one at a time and with reverence, from her palm. Taking his eyes off hers only for a fleeting moment to ensure he had lined up the engagement ring properly with her finger (his hand was shaking slightly), he slid it on. He did the same with the band. Sarah was now beaming and moved in close. Chuck picked up on her intent and leaned in for a kiss that Sarah eagerly met. You may now kiss the bride.

After a long moment, Chuck reluctantly removed his lips from Sarah's. "You said you needed to pick up 'a couple things.' Now that you have them, do you want to go?"

"Actually, the rings were one thing, the other is over there." Chuck followed the point of Sarah's index finger.

"The DVD player?"

"What's in it."

Sarah arched her brow and tipped her head towards the player. Chuck -his curiosity piqued- followed her cue, moved to it and opened its tray. The disc in it was white, plainly labelled with "Project Bartowski Mission Log."

Mission log?

~oOo~

Chuck hit the call button for the number in his iPhone's contacts. He had the phone in his car's cup holder on speaker mode. As it rang he tried his best to keep up with Sarah in her car (no easy feat). The other phone continued to ring until the synthetic voice of its voicemail system chimed in and informed Chuck that the inbox associated with this number was full, and then it disconnected. It was the same outcome as his earlier attempts.

His mind drifted back to Sarah's suite.

"What is this?"

"I must have been instructed by the Agency to keep a video log. I probably did it for at least the early years while you say you were treated as an asset. The log would not have been filed with the Agency for review. It is... candid, so I am virtually certain of that. Rather, if something was to happen to me, it would likely be collected to become part of the record for whatever sort of investigation was done. Quinn got his hands on it somehow and used it to manipulate me into believing he was my handler."

"Candid? Quinn showed you this?"

"Yes, candid, but what Quinn showed me was only my initial entry. This disc has later entries from my first two years here. That night that I came and found you at the fountain before leaving to go after Quinn and told you I believed you, I had watched this. Please put it back in and hit play. I want you to see it."

Chuck hit the call button on his iPhone in order to redial. The line once again began to ring.

He sat on the edge of the bed next to Sarah, watching Video Sarah on the television. Within minutes he was transfixed, not moving a muscle or making a sound. He might have forgotten to take a few breaths. Eventually Video Sarah was saying, "...because, because I love him. I love Chuck Bartowski and I don't know what to do about it."

As Video Sarah blinked back tears Chuck was blinking back his own. "You had found this? Where? Did you take it from Castle?"

"Not I, it was..."

Casey barked over the phone, "Bartowski, what is it?"

Chuck practically jumped in his car seat. "Casey! I'm so glad to finally get through to you! I've been trying your line. First, a couple times this morning from home. Now a couple more times from my car…"

"Chuck," growled Casey.

"Uh, right, I just wanted to let you know Sarah is here, she's with me, well not with me at this very moment. But she's back and she's staying. She wants to stay with me. She, well, she loves me." That last bit Chuck said with a mixture of joy and matter-of-factness. Was that a sigh of relief, a grunt of relief, from Casey's end? Chuck couldn't quite make out what he heard.

"Her memories?"

"No," Chuck conceded. "But her feelings for me, for others, for you, they're all back. Uh, so, I wanted you to know that, but I also found out that I need to thank you."

"Why's that?"

"When Sarah returned to Echo Park before leaving again to go after Quinn she had told me she believed me, believed everything I had told her about the two of us. That was all thanks to you giving her the copy of her mission log. I actually don't know how to thank you. Casey, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want you getting all squishy with me because your lady-feelings got the better of you."

Chuck chuckled at that. "Well, thank you anyways."

"Don't mention it. Really." A moment of silence hung between them. "Chuck, you look after Walker. What she's been through… Take care of her."

That was an order from the Colonel that Chuck intended to do everything in his power to carry out. "I will, John," Chuck solemnly replied.

Casey's voice became, for him, mild. "Good partners are hard to come by. Walker was, well, she was…"

Chuck finished for Casey, "The best."

Casey's gruffness returned. "By a goddamn country mile… You weren't half bad yourself."

"Thanks."

"Yeah, well, later, Bartowski."

"Later, Casey. Good luck."

With a grunt, Casey ended the call and was gone. "Go get Gertrude," Chuck said to his friend, wherever he may be at that moment.

Chuck's phone rang and he thought it might be Sarah calling to tell him to catch up. He looked at the caller ID. It wasn't Sarah; it was the realtor.

xXXXx