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3. Uncertainties

Alcide felt terrible. Poor Sky, who had done nothing but help him, sat curled up in a tiny little fetal-position ball on the sofa.

"Alcide needs a place to hide," Eric told her. "I found him by sheer luck, I admit, but I did find him."

"How did you find him?" she demanded.

"Sky!" Alcide warned her. She had no idea the danger she was putting herself in with her attitude.

Eric smiled at her, a predatory, dangerous smile. "I was coming to ask if you had treated a wolf with a gunshot wound. And obviously, you did."

"Yes, I did. So you can take him now." She sat up, placing her hands on her lap, her face very white and drawn. "Are we done here?"

Eric hissed at her, and she recoiled, but glared.

"We're done when I say we're done. He needs a place to hide."

"There are thousands of hotels in this area. I'm sure he'll be fine at any one of them."

"Barely hundreds, and no, he wouldn't. Your home is ideal, actually." Eric snapped his teeth back in. "I'm willing to pay you so that he doesn't eat you out of house and home. 'Weres tend to eat everything in sight."

"Hey!" Alcide objected.

"'Weres?" She closed her eyes and sat back. "Like werewolves?"

"Yes," Eric dismissed the question. "The real issue here is that your home is the perfect place-"

"No."

"No?" Eric's eyebrow rose. "You really can't say 'no' in this situation," he told her.

She glared at him. "He lied to me. He tricked me. I saved his life and his response was to pretend to be a dog while I showered in his presence and I poured my heart out to him, and..." she crossed her arms. "No. I'm not having some strange man living in my house!"

"You have for the last couple weeks. What's a few months longer."

"Eric, just... can you give us a minute?" Alcide asked.

Eric stood up. "Take all the time you need." He opened his wallet and handed Alcide a credit card. "Get some clothes and pay for your own food. Call me if you need me. Don't use your own credit card or phones for anything."

Then he flitted out, leaving the door hanging open.

"Sky, please-"

"I really don't want you here," she told him. "You did. You tricked me. You let me care for you, and bathe you, and sleep with you, and I even..." her face got even redder—a feat Alcide could never have imagined, "... and I even. I rubbed your belly and I let you climb on me like a... I dunno. I... I'm shocked and I don't know what to think or do or feel. This is all so weird."

He got up and walked over to kneel in front of her. "Sky, just let me explain, I-"

"Please don't do that," she said. She was shifting uncomfortably on the sofa, trying to look anywhere except at him.

"Don't be afraid of me, please. I would never hurt you. I owe you my life, and more than that..."

"It... it isn't that. It's... You... Uh. You're naked." She was blushing furiously again and looking at the ceiling.

He backed away. "Of course. I'm sorry. Listen, Sky," he continued. "I know I owe you a lot of apologies. I really am sorry. All of this stuff that's going on, I tried to stay out of it. But I got shot by a witch. When you saved me, I couldn't turn because of the injuries. Then I... well. I didn't know when or how. And I was afraid you'd react... well. Kind of like you did."

"I don't want you here," she said. "I don't know if you're going to eat me on the full moon or if you are keeping more secrets, or what. And I didn't know you were a man, just a beautiful, sweet dog. Uncomplicated and genuine. But that's not what you are at all."

"Sky, you don't understand the nature of what we're facing here. Eric... he's dangerous. He tortures and kills people. And then there are his good days when he just feeds on them and then glamors them. If he wants you to let me stay and finds out I'm not here, he'll hurt you, or worse."

He saw tears spring to her eyes. "This is my life! You've ruined it!" The tears fell. "I just wanted to move to a sleepy, peaceful little town and care for animals and live quietly!"

She got up. "Sleep on the sofa tonight," she told him. "We'll talk tomorrow."

As she walked past him, he gently grasped her arm to stop her. "I'm really sorry," he told her. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen." Her skin was soft and slightly cool under his fingers. She smelled of crushed grass.

She looked at him, her eyes, at the level of his chest, flickering up to meet his. "What's done is done. Now we go on."

He let his hand drop.

She stopped in the hallway, without turning around. "Alcide."

"Yes?"

"It's a strange name."

"So is yours," he told her, curious at the strange turn of conversation.

"My parents got pregnant in their rebellious hippy stage. Then they were stuck with it."

She wrapped her arms around herself as if she was cold—or traumatized—and continued away down the hall toward her bedroom.

Alcide pulled the towel off and laid it on the sofa. Then he opened the back door and walked out, closing it quietly behind him. He changed form after he opened the back gate and loped into the darkness. He needed to run. To let out the regret and shame he felt for not being honest with Sky.

When he had run his fill, he headed back toward her house. But as he approached, he caught scent of another wolf. This was a 'were, not a regular wolf. He had the smell of humanity around him. He'd never smelled this 'were in his wolf form, so he had no idea whether or not he knew him. But he was obviously sniffing around Sky's home and doubtless smelled Alcide there.

However, something Alcide had noted was that whatever shampoo she used on him so often, distorted his scent, even to him. It was pleasant, but definitely not recognizable. And he hadn't used the 'toilet' outside for over a week. All evidence of him outside would smell old.

But then Sky came outside, and Alcide's heart raced.

She leveled the gun at the other wolf. "I know what you are." He could smell her fear, ripe and heavy in the air. "I will kill you if you don't leave." He could hear the conviction and certainty in her voice.

The other wolf growled, and Alicide started for the house, though he knew he'd never make it if the other wolf sprang.

But the form shimmered and, to Alcide's surprise, Debbie stood up. He stopped, his ears going back against his head. He managed not to growl. Debbie had harmed his family in her rage at him while she was amped up on V. If she was still on V, Sky probably didn't stand a chance even with the gun.

"I smell Alcide here," Debbie said. "Where is he?"

"I don't know, and I don't care," Sky said. There was a conviction in her voice that pierced Alcide's heart. "He was here as a wolf. I treated his injury and then he ran off. I didn't even know what he was until some vampire asshole showed up and interrogated me. Now get the fuck off of my property. I will shoot you. I've already had one burgler here, and I don't give half a damn about your war with vampires, or theirs with witches, or what the fuck ever."

She twitched the gun in a 'get going' gesture. "Don't come back around here. I've had enough already. Vampires? Werewolves? I don't want anything to do with a single damned one of you lot. I came here to have a simple, easy life. Quiet and without disruption. Now go away!"

"If I find out you're lying-"

"Don't tell me. The vampire already threatened me. You'll kill me, nobody will ever find me, yada yada. I get it, really. Now can I get some sleep?"

"You're awful brave when you're holding a gun," Debbie snapped at her.

"Fine. Here." Alcide's heart raced as she put the gun down. "Kill me. Get it over with. If not, leave. I've got work tomorrow and I actually have a surgery to perform. It would be nice to get a little sleep first."

Debbie shimmered back into wolf form. She growled, and Alcide's muscles tensed. He could never make it in time.

But Debbie raced out of the yard and off into the night.

Alcide started forward, but then realized that she was probably being honest. She really didn't want him, or any 'were, around. Yet she was right in another area also. Eric would kill her if he came and couldn't find Alcide there. He waited for her to go inside, and then slipped back into the back yard. He slept on the porch, determined to protect her.

The next morning, she put a bowl of fresh meat outside. He waited until she left and ate it. For the next four days, she put meat out for him twice a day. On the fifth day, he came up to eat it in the evening.

"It's rude, you know," she said, scaring him so badly that he yelped. "If you're going to stay, stop skulking in the woods." She pointed at a bag in the corner of the porch. "Clothes, if you decide to at least put forth the effort to be a friend instead of a stalker."

She said nothing more, but went inside the house, closing the door softly behind her.

He ate first, and then went inside. He was surprised to find that it all fit almost exactly, even to the soft-soled moccasins. She was in the kitchen cooking when he came in.

"Can I help?" he asked.

She gasped and jumped so badly that she dropped the glass she'd been about to rinse. It fell into the sink and shattered, spraying glass.

"Ah!" she yelped. "Don't do that! How can a guy who's ten feet tall and a million pounds be so sneaky?"

"I wouldn't know," he deadpanned. "I'm only eight feet tall and a thousand pounds."

She grinned at him, a mixture of irritation and amusement. "That's good to know. I guess my floor will survive your presence in that case. Though the light fixtures are going to be a problem."

He was going to retort when he smelled blood. "You cut yourself?"

"A piece of the glass ricocheted and hit me," she said nonchalantly. "It wouldn't be so bad if it was in my left hand, but it's my right and the glass is still in there."

Now he knew why she was still standing over the sink. He walked over and found her trying awkwardly to pull out a tiny fragment of glass with her left hand. He took her hand and tried to help, noticing that she was pushing it further in, rather than it coming out. But he also found it was wanting to go in, so he used his teeth to grasp it and pull the small shard out.

Dropping it in the sink, he looked at her and started to smile. But he caught the look on her face and said nothing. A cold vice settled over his heart as he saw the doe-in-the-headlights look on her face.

"I'm not a vampire, I don't drink blood," he told her.

"Oh... I... that never occurred to me," she said, turning away from him, her face flooding with color.

He started to object, when he smelled it... a scent both sweet and musky. It wasn't fear that made her look at him that way. He almost felt like laughing out loud with relief... and no small amount of sheer masculine glee.

She was attracted to him.

He took a deep breath to try to bury the satisfaction and pleasure that the knowledge brought him. "So, can I help before you bleed all over the carrots? I think that technically renders them no longer vegetarian."

"Are you a vegetarian?" she asked, eyes widening with surprise and obvious consternation.

He chuckled. "I'm a wolf. So no... not a vegetarian. I was just trying to break the tension a little."

She handed him the carrots and moved over to shredding the pork he'd been smelling cooking all day.

"Alcide," she suddenly said. "Please don't be angry with me."

He stopped cutting and looked at her. "Why would I be angry with you?"

"I... someone came looking for you. A 'were... er. A werewoman. Or whatever. I ran her off. And she wasn't the only one, either."

"Marcus and Debbie. I know. I hid in your car when Marcus came, and I was watching from the woods when Debbie was here."

"Oh," she said, smiling weakly. "I would have told you, if I'd known you weren't just a wolf. And you were gone, when she..."

"I'm sorry I dragged you into this," Alcide told her, hoping she'd hear how much he meant it.

She laid the forks down. "I got myself into it. I found a wolf with a gunshot and I didn't walk away. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not sorry I did that, and I'd probably do it again, even knowing what I do now. But... I did that myself, no one made me do it. I don't regret it. Where it may take me, though... that's another story. I don't know yet if I'll regret that."

She took a breath and picked the forks back up. Then she set them back down and leaned on the counter. "I feel really strange about all of this. I was raised to know how very foolish it is to let a strange man into your home the day you met him. It's insanely stupid. And it's not like you're some wilting lily boy. I'd probably be hard pressed to defend myself from you even with the gun."

She held up her hand to forestall his response and continued, "But on the other hand, I don't feel right about sending you away. Even without the vampire's threats... and I don't want to know why you're so important to him. Anyway, I just... I dunno. I feel confused. If you're like your wolf..." she trailed off.

"If you're like him...since you are him but I don't know if you're the same when you're human or not..." she sighed. "I don't even know how to talk about this properly!"

"I'm mostly the same. More primitive in my wolf form, less controlled in some ways. But I'm the same. I have the same thoughts and ideas. I can reason and understand." He smiled slightly at her. "Don't complicate it. Find a way of talking about it that's comfortable for you, and I'll understand. I think non-'weres find it a lot easier to think of me as two different beings. That way any feelings that are different between the two sides of me are less confusing. I wouldn't expect a non-'were to experience attraction for my wolf form, as an example. So separating me into parts can help reconcile that."

She was staring at him with her mouth hanging open. "Okay," she said, "I think that just weirded me out a little. Do you like bar-b-que or honey mustard with your pulled pork?"

"Bar-b-que," he answered, picking up the pot of carrots and putting it on the stove. "Do you add butter?"

"Definitely," she replied. "The more, the merrier."

"I'll set some out to soften," he told her.

"If I met a werewolf on the street as a human, is there any way to tell?"

He shook his head. "Only for other 'weres. We can smell each other. But I don't know of any humans who have been able to tell. It's a good thing, too. That would be dangerous for us."

"I know that's why you didn't say anything. I know you could have told me after you healed, but you were protecting yourself and your kind. Probably scared shitless of me after the whole 'shooting the intruder' thing." Then she paused as if something had occurred to her. "Was he a werewolf? You were growling at him."

"No, he wasn't a werewolf. But I could tell my lung was still healing. It didn't get pierced, but the muscles around it made it really hard to breathe."

"Oh, yeah, by the way, you should..."

She turned away then. He could see her neck ruddy from blushing where the hair had parted over it.

"Should what?"

"Never mind. Seriously. I'm really good at talking to animals, but everything I say to humans just seems to come out wrong. Forget it," she said.

"If it's something about my health, go ahead and spit it out," he told her. "I'll recover."

"You should eat more raw meat when you're a wolf. Or you should be a wolf more often and eat raw meat." She sounded a little strangled as she said it.

"Why?"

"Just trust me?" Now she sounded downright embarrassed.

"I should know why, don't you think?"

She sighed. "In your wolf form, you had the beginning of a gland problem. If you'll eat more raw meat, and especially organs, and... uh..." She trailed off.

"Glands? What are you talking about? And what?" Now he was starting to feel a little out of his element.

"You should shit more in your wolf form, and eat more raw meat," she told him. It came out nearly as a single word.

"Uh. I don't know what to say to that. Why?"

She groaned and covered her face with her hands. "You've got anal gland problems in your wolf form. Eating raw meat makes dog shit hard, which cleans out the glands."

"Wow," he said, wishing he could go back and not ask. "Now I'm the one 'weirded out'."

"Just think of me as your doctor, and maybe it isn't so bad?"

"No, I think it's safe to say that I still feel pretty awkward about it."

"Next time, just trust me? If I didn't tell you, since I'm the only vet in miles, you'd probably end up visiting me anyway. Better now than then. Cause then I would have to... well. You wouldn't like it."

"So you didn't have to do that yet?"

At her silence, he groaned. "This could be the single most embarrassing conversation I've ever had in my entire life." He'd had his wolf anal glands cleaned out by the gorgeous lady vet while he was unconscious.

"Well, you haven't really lived yet, then," she said, her voice slightly joking and slightly embarrassed.

"Anyway," she said in a clear attempt to change the subject, "at least now it makes sense why you were watching so much TV. I've bought another TV for the bedroom, and now neither of us will have to lose out on our favorite shows. I could use help getting it out of the car. Since it's in the garage, no one will see you."

"Ah, yes," he joked, trying to redeem his lost masculinity in part, "that's what God created men for, right?"

She waved a stirring spoon at him. "I would never have said that to you, you know. If I'd known."

"I should go wolf form more often. I might eventually begin to understand the female mind to some degree." He turned the cooking carrots off and poured them into a strainer.

"And what good would that do? All the mystery would be gone and we'd become boring."

"I can't imagine that," he told her, catching her eye and holding her gaze for a protracted second.

She smiled slightly, blushed, and looked away.

"So the clothes fit," she said after a moment of uncertain, awkward silence.

"Yeah. I'm surprised. I didn't know there were any big-and-tall shops around this area."

"I ordered them next-day and had them delivered to work so I'd be sure to be there to get them." She finished laying silverware out on the table. Then she stopped. "Did you prefer to eat in front of the TV or something? Sorry, I don't do that often-"

"I know," he said. "I've watched you do it, and frankly sometimes the smell of your cooking was killing me. It was like a reprieve from jail when you relented and let me have some."

He looked up to find her staring at him, stricken. "It's bad for dogs," she said weakly. "I didn't mean to-" She covered her mouth with her hand.

He stepped over and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "You took fantastic care of my wolf. You saved him when he was dying. You made him healthier than he's felt in a long time. Don't beat yourself up for not knowing what you couldn't possibly have known." He kissed her lightly on the forehead. Then he tilted her face up toward his, "You don't have anything to be regretful over."

"I'm struggling with this a little," she answered him. "It's going to take time to figure it out." She sat down. "I hope that my cooking is as good as a human as it was when you were a wolf," she said. "After all, nothing makes the heart grow fonder than absence, right?"

But she couldn't look at him and he felt horrible. He'd pushed her for information it turned out he wasn't sure he'd wanted. He'd walked on her feelings about her care of him while he was a wolf, and in general, he had created a situation of awkwardness and discomfort.

That, of course, was if you didn't consider the fact that he'd run away when Marcus showed up, and not approached when Debbie had. If he was honest with himself, which he was trying to be, it was because he'd been afraid it would mean he'd have had to leave. Which was huge, given that this was the first time he'd ever even considered not trying to make things work with Debbie. Well, except for Sookie, who'd been in love with Bill.

He ate his sandwich with gusto. It was delicious, and there was plenty of it. Now that he was back in human form, he needed the calories and protein so he could work out again. Which he was going to have to get serious about if he was going to protect her.

And he was. Of that, he gave himself no doubts, and no questions.