Clarke woke up to a deep voice cursing. There were boots stomping on the hardwood floor, she could feel the vibration through the cushions as he kept swearing, "god dammit Octavia. How many times have I told you to lock your door? But no, she refuses to listen to her big brother, who just wants to keep her safe," he stopped short, "what the hell?"
Clarke was amused by his muttering. She kept her eyes closed, but she could feel him staring at their sleeping arrangements. they were pretty close together, somewhere in the middle of the night that had rolled into the middle. Even Clarke was surprised at how comfortable she felt laying there with Octavia.
Bellamy was still staring when she decided to open her eyes. He blushed as she set up and her eyes met his, "graceful entrance, Bell."
Clarke yawned as he pulled himself together and rolled his eyes, "why are you guys sleeping on the floor in the living room? I thought you would both want to sleep in a bed."
She shrugged as Octavia groaned. She was a heavy sleeper, "I didn't want to be alone. Your sister actually cared."
Bellamy muttered something but wasn't loud enough for her to hear. She rolled her eyes back at him as Octavia woke up beside her. She might be a heavy sleeper, but once she was awake she was always bright and alert in the mornings, "Bell!" she smiled, "did you come to make us breakfast?"
Clarke stomach growled. She looked surprised, he never cooked when they knew each other. Bellamy's face changed, his eyes went narrow and he shook his head. She could tell there was a silent conversation taking place between the two of them, "you know I don't cook, Octavia."
She huffed, ready to call him out for something when his eyes went towards Clarke. He interrupted his sister before she could say whatever it was she wanted to say, "you left this in my truck last night princess."
Clarke blinked as he held out one of her sketchbooks. This time it was her turn to blush as she took it from him, "uh thanks."
She hadn't been drawing lately. Not after what had happened. Her last picture had been a memory of the two of them. Her favorite memory she never wanted to let go. She had started it the night the event happened and never picked up to finish it afterwards. It was her favorite moment between the two of them. She had been stupid and let Lexa talk her into burning the picture of them together. Now she was trying to recreate the image from memory.
No matter how hard she tired she couldn't do it. There was something about the way she looked at him, that day on the docks with the water surrounding them and the sun creating a halo around his head, that she couldn't capture. There was a love in her eyes, and in his smile that she had lost a long time ago. She couldn't get it right no matter how hard or how long she tried. She would stare at the page, knowing it would never recapture the feelings they had for each other. She didn't know why she kept trying.
"Don't worry," he smirked at her, "I didn't look at it."
She nodded and then Octavia stretched her arms, "well I'm starving. Clarke let's go to the diner and I can show you around town."
"Okay," she said putting the book down on the table beside her.
Bellamy stood there watching them, "you need to lock your doors Octavia. I tell you all the time you're going to get yourself into trouble. It's a small town, but there's still bad people out there."
Octavia rolled her eyes, "I'm perfectly safe Bellamy. Don't worry," she said waving him off. Clarke could see her brother was getting upset. He wanted her to be safe, he always wanted his sister to be safe. That was his main goal in his life, to keep her safe and protect her no matter what it was from.
"Oh leave her alone Bell," Clarke didn't realize she said it out loud until he looked at her as hard as he looked at his sister, "nothing bad can happen here. She's fine. She's a big girl and can take care of herself."
Bellamy got angry when Clarke tried to stick up for her sister. She didn't know that this town had charm, but it wasn't as safe as the small towns on television. She was in no place to talk, she lost all rights to that when she left. This wasn't her business, even if she was staying here.
"You stay out of this," he growled the words at Clarke and she was surprised. He had been somewhat caring last night. She could only assume that this morning he had remembered how much he hated her.
She raised her eyebrows as Octavia sighed, "don't scream at her, bell. You came over here, don't be a dick."
Clarke smiled as he rolled his eyes, "whatever. If your apartment gets broken into, don't come crying to me."
"Sounds good. Want to join us for breakfast? I'm going to show Clarke around today," she put on her sweet little sister voice. It was the one she used whenever she wanted something from Bellamy.
He bit his lip and Clarke felt his eyes wash over her. She wanted him to come and get she didn't. She missed him, his jokes and soft side were pretty hidden in the few minutes they had spent together.
"Sure I'll get breakfast. But uh, I'll pass on the tour. I already know where everything is," Clarke smiled as Octavia hugged her brother. He rolled his eyes again as they both went to different rooms to change.
Clarke bit her bottom lip as she stood there staring at her duffel bag. It was warm, she knew she didn't have to try. But being around Bellamy again made her want to try. Even if they weren't getting along, they were still exes. She wanted him to remember exactly what he was missing.
She decided on a summer dress that flared at the bottom and hit her knees. She pulled a jean vest on over top and then ran her fingers through her curls. She never bothered with makeup, she was usually too tired after classes and shadowing. She splashed some cold water on her face and then went back into the living room.
Apparently Octavia took longer to get ready, like way longer. She found Bellamy waiting on the couch, flipping through channels. He didn't look at her, "I'd take a seat, she says breakfast, it'll be more like lunch by the time she's ready."
Clarke didn't say anything, she just sat down on the far end of the couch. While she was getting dressed he had put them back together. Even the blankets were folded up nicely by the wall. She was impressed. The Bellamy she had known wouldn't have even looked twice at the mess in front of him.
Time really does change people. Or maybe they just grew up. Maybe that's what they had needed. Time and space to grow into the people they were supposed to be. Now that they were all grown up, they could see if this would work. But only if Bellamy wanted to give it another go. She knew the chance of that was slim.
"So," Clarke cleared her throat, "this is awkward."
He laughed, well more like snorted through his noise. He had finally settled on some random rerun of friends. She had to bite the inside of her lip to keep from smiling. He had always hated this show, but it was one of Clarke's favorites. He would watch the same episode over and over with her just to see her laugh at the jokes she's heard a million times. They were still funny, even if you saw them coming.
He remembered, she noticed that. His eyes came to hers and she watched as they ran down her body, stopping at her legs. She tried to stop the blush from creeping up her cheeks as he forced himself to look away.
"Only if you make it awkward, princess."
Clarke rolled her eyes. She had always hated that nickname. Sure when they were dating everyone thought it was cute. It was for a while, but then he started using it condescendingly and she hated it. Even if his voice was all husky and sexy as the word rolled off his tongue. She would rather him call her by her name.
"Right," she sighed and watched the television. Clarke felt his eyes come back to stare at her and she knew he liked what he saw.
Bellamy couldn't hide his smile. Boy she had grown up. She looked even better than when they were together, if that was possible. Even last night when she was a mess, hyperventilating on the side of the highway, she was beautiful. He had no idea why he thought letting her go was the right thing to do. He was the biggest idiot in the world.
He wanted to ask her about her life for the past two years, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't want to pry into her life. He didn't want her to know that he still cared.
Octavia startled them both, "okay guys! Lincoln is going to meet us there too. So you get to meet him!"
Bellamy grumbled and Clarke smiled, "sounds good. I'm starving."
Bellamy smiled, his eyes meeting hers. He remembered many times when they were dating how hungry she would get. She could eat more than a growing boy if she put her mind to it. Clarke hated to admit she had the stomach of a trucker. No one believed her, until they watched her put it away.
Of course Bellamy always had another way of satisfying her appetite. They were both remembering all those nights they spent together. Clarke shook her head and pushed away the fantasies. She had to focus on herself. She had to remember that she left school to figure out her life, not to wander back into a relationship that had ended on bad terms.
It didn't take long for them to get to the diner. They walked, the sun warm against their skin. Bellamy stayed on the other side of Octavia, trying his hardest not to look at Clarke. She looked so beautiful, it had been too long since they saw each other.
Clarke pushed her hair out of her face, feeling better than she had last night. This town was beautiful, she couldn't stop marveling at how homey it felt. She liked it here, she felt like the air was easier to breathe. Every once and a while she would catch Bellamy's eye. She would blush and look away before he could stare.
She had been fooling herself to think this situation would be easy. She was crazy to think they could attempt to be friends after everything they had been though. She wanted to be his friend, she wanted to be back in his life. She just wasn't sure how to do it.
"This diner has amazing food," Octavia burst her internal bubble as they sat down by the window, "don't eat too much though, we need to walk around after."
A big guy with tattoos wrapped her wrist and she squealed. She stood up and kissed him, giggling as they pulled apart, "Lincoln this is Clarke," she squirmed in his arms, "Clarke this is my boyfriend Lincoln."
Clarke smiled as he stepped around and hugged her. She had been prepared for a handshake, not a hug, "you'll find it in time," he said quietly, "don't rush what is meant to heal."
It was like he could read her mind. That scared her slightly as she pulled away. He left his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it before letting it fall. Clarke nodded her head, feeling her cheeks blush as he joined them at the table.
Bellamy took the outside seat beside Octavia, and Lincoln sat inside the booth beside Clarke. Of course she would end up across from him. She sighed, trying to avoid his gaze.
"So Octavia," she tried to keep her voice light, "how did you end up here? I mean did you guys plan to move?"
She glanced at her brother and he cleared his throat, "I wanted to move. It was hard after," he stopped, "I thought a fresh start was in order. So I found this town after my car broke down on the way to an interview a town over. Octavia fell in love instantly, and well I got another interview here. The rest is history."
"I tagged along because I didn't want to be stuck back home without my big brother. Plus I never would've met this man. He's the man of my dreams," she leaned her head on his shoulder and they both smiled. She could tell they were stupidly happy.
It hurt when she glanced at Bellamy, remembering when they had been that stupid, that happy together. She watched his eyes avoid hers. He scratched his head as the waitress came to take their orders.
Once she left Clarke smiled, "I like it here, it's so charming."
Lincoln laughed, "everyone says that when they aren't from here. I grew up here, it's charm is pretty masking how boring it can get."
"I watched Gilmore girls. Small towns have it all," Clarke raised an eyebrow at Lincoln and Octavia giggled.
"I love that show! We need to binge watch some one night. I'm so excited you're stuck here, I need a girlfriend to help me with things. Bell hates listening to me whine about my clothes or the fair."
Clarke's eyes lit up, "well I'm you're girl. I'll binge watch with the best of them. I might not be the best shopper, but I'll tag along. What's the fair?"
Bellamy groaned as his sister perked up, "I volunteered to help with the fair. I'm organizing it. I need help and no one wants to help me with the decorations and such."
"Well since I'm stuck here maybe I could help?" Clarke was timid as she watched Octavia grinned brightly.
"I would love you forever."
Lincoln scuffed and she hit his shoulder. Clarke's eyes found Bellamy's, "careful. Last time a Blake told me that it didn't work out."
The table went silent as she kept her eyes on his. He swallowed slowly, his fingers closed around the cup in front of him. He sighed and then shake his head, "yeah well you always thought you were better than us Blake's."
Clarke rolled her eyes, "give it a rest bell. You made a pretty nice life for yourself. I never thought I was better than either of you. You were the family I chose to have instead of the one I was born into. Those fears were your own insecurities."
He shook his head, "I see the broken girl from last night is gone."
Clarke stopped when she felt Lincoln and Octavia staring at them. She brushed off his comment and luckily that's when the waitress brought their food. She dug right in, thankful they didn't have to keep on talking.
They tried to stay civil for the rest of the lunch. When the waitress brought the bill, just one, they both reached for it. She got to it first, the thin receipt under the tips of her fingers. She looked up and he was staring at her. Bellamy didn't back down, his hand on top of hers.
"I got it," Clarke kept her voice light and polite. She smiled, "it's the least I can do for you letting me crash with you."
Bellamy grunted, "I got it princess. I'm not the poor boyfriend anymore."
She rolled her eyes for the second time in less than an hour, "seriously? It won't hurt your pride to let me pick up the tab."
He sighed, "Clarke will you ever stop being so stubborn? God you've been back in my life for five seconds and you're already driving me crazy!"
She smirked, "yeah well I'm not taking my hand off this check. So let me pay this one and then you can just pay all the others."
"Clarke! God damn it." He slammed his fist into the table and pulled his hand back. Everyone jumped, except Clarke. She just smiled, smug as could be, as she picked up the paper and then pulled out her wallet, "you haven't change a bit."
"Neither have you," she murmured as she stormed off and she laid down two twenties, leaving the chain as their tip.
Octavia sighed, "I'm sorry. He's still dealing with seeing you again."
She nodded, "I know. I'm not making it any easier. I don't mean to make it harder on you."
Octavia laughed, "I'm enjoying the show. I know sooner or later one of you will finally admit what I've known all along. You both still love each other."
Clarke wasn't sure about that. She knew how she felt, but she was pretty convinced that Bellamy was done with her. That hurt more than the missing memories. It hurt more than any knife he could stick in her chest.
"So this is the center of town. Do you want to hear the legend of joe the town got its name?"
Octavia had led her all around town until finally they ended up at the white gazebo Clarke couldn't stop staring at. She was excited to sit down, her feet were killing her.
They walked up the steps and sat down across from each other. Clarke rubbed her hands over her knees, looking at the beautiful wooden craftsmanship of the gazebo. Clarke ran her hand over the names that were etched into the bench. She thought about how Bellamy had done the same thing back in their hometown, on their second date.
Tears filled her eyes but she pushed them back. She looked at Octavia who smiled, "I love telling this story. It's so cute and makes you see the adorable name in a new light."
Clarke forced a smile, trying to forget about the scene Bellamy had made earlier, "okay so get on with it! I want to know this amazing story."
"Okay, so legend has it there were these two kids. They were about eighteen and they fell in love. Think Romeo and Juliet style love. The problem was their parents didn't get along. Not that they didn't get along, they had feuding business, feuding lives. They knew once they realized their feelings they would never be able to have a life together if the fighting didn't stop. So they decided to run away. He asked her to meet him here," she pointed at the gazebo, "right in this very spot. When they came together he asked her to marry him. They found their safe haven here, guided by the stars. So they named the town Stars Haven and lived happily ever after."
Clarke couldn't help but smile, "that's adorable."
She had a strong feeling it wasn't entirely true. A lot of those small town stories were created to make a tourist feel like this place was more than it was. Still she wouldn't burst Octavia's bubble. She could see the younger girl was smitten by the love story. But Clarke knew that's all it was; a story.
She saw the sign, and two old fashioned names etched bigger than the rest. Octavia saw her staring, "this gazebo was built a few years into the official town being settled. It's tradition that once you get engaged or know you're in love, even after you're married, to etch you and your persons name into the wood. That way the two founding lovers bless your Union with everyone else."
Clarke didn't realize it until she kept scanning names. She had been looking for his. A part of her wanted to know that he hadn't been serious with anyone, not since her. She hadn't been, after she left and she realized he wouldn't do long distance, she put her heart behind a very large fence. She didn't need to gain more bruises from guys who wouldn't love her in the end.
"That's cute," Clarke's eyes kept scanning. Octavia was watching and she ran her hand along a pair of names. She wondered if it was theirs.
The brunette sighed, "he's never been in love. Not since you," her big eyes found Clarke's blue ones and she smiled, "you're looking for Bells name. You won't find it."
Clarke blushed, "what about you and Lincoln?"
She nodded, her long lashes hitting her cheeks as she looked down. Clarke knew then that where she was sitting was their spot. She shook her head, wondering if her brother knew how serious they were. She wondered if he was okay with his little sister pretty much giving herself away.
"Who told you the story?" Clarke asked watching her face light up.
After a second she looked up from their names, "he brought me here on our first and then our fifth date. I'm a sucker for things like this and he knew it. It was so romantic I couldn't help but fall for him." She was so in love Clarke envied her. She had had that once and she let it slip through her fingers.
Clarke looked out of the gazebo and saw the sign for the fair. She needed to change the subject and she knew this was one subject Octavia loved more than her knew hometown, "so this fair. How did you get roped into organizing it?"
"I volunteered. It's pretty sacred around here. The entire town goes and it is family fun and just fun all around. There's games for the kids, a few rides and I convinced a pretty popular band to come for a small price. I still remember our first fair. It was two nights after we settled into our apartment. Lincoln was there and everything was just beautiful. The rides, the lights, I felt welcomed in more ways than one."
Clarke smiled, "it sounds like something from a movie."
She laughed, "he took me on the Ferris wheel and won me a stuffed animal. Sometimes I think it was all a dream. Even Bell enjoyed himself that night. It was like this magic surrounded us all and we were so amazingly happy to have each other."
Clarke thought about that magic. She wondered what it was like to feel so at ease, so at home somewhere she had never been. She understood what Octavia was saying, since she had gotten here she felt better. There was magic in the air of this small town that made her smile more, made her laugh lighter. Even the pain in her chest didn't squeeze her as tightly.
Except for the constant running into Bellamy, who she still couldn't figure out, this place was as much her safe haven as it had been for those two lovers all those years ago.
Octavia was still talking, Clarke realized a moment later, "I just can't get anyone who has the slightest bit of artistic ability to get the signs the way I want them."
Clarke smiled a real smile for the first time in what felt like ages, "that's where I came in handy."
Octavia looked excited, "exactly. You've got so much talent. I remember the painting you did for Bell," her voice stopped and she bit her lip, "the constellations you painted for him before you left. He still has that, it's so beautiful."
Clarke suppressed more tears, "are you thinking of that as a theme? Or did you have a theme?"
She shrugged, "small town has always been the theme. But we could do a night under the stars, and everything could be bright blue and shining. Oh Clarke I love it!" She clapped her hands together, "we can rename all the tents and booths for constellations and gods. This is perfect. I knew we would be the perfect team."
Clarke laughed, "yeah that we are."
There was one major problem. Clarke knew nothing about the stars and its constellations. She barely listened when Bellamy would take her out into the field and they would lay under them. She had been too busy memorizing the line of his jaw, or distracted by the way his thumb would draw circles around the back of her hand, to listen and completely absorb his stories. She was hoping Octavia would ask her brother for help.
Octavia jumped up, "let's get started! The fair is only a month away." She stopped and turned to look at Clarke, "will you stay? Even if your car is fixed and we've gotten the signs done, will you stay to see how it turned out?"
Clarke really wanted to stay. She wanted to be Octavia's roommate for as long as she possibly could. She loved this girl who she barely knew. She kicked herself for not getting to know her sooner. They had been so close and yet they never had moments like this. Clarke had a feeling she would regret this, but she nodded her head slowly.
"I'll stay," her voice was shaky, "on one condition."
Octavia looked surprised, "and what's that?"
Clarke blew out a breath and stood up, "you promise you won't let me fall in love with your brother all over again."
Octavia smiled, her arm looping through Clarke's. She laughed, squeezing her hand as they started down the steps, "honey I can't promise that. Sometimes things are just meant to be."