She must have gone between alternating states of crying and blank stares into nothing for at least three hours before they could finally get her name out of her. Poor woman, the nurse Anne thought to herself. Only one thing could drive a woman to this state of despair.
"Who is he, honey?" Anne asked as she offered Diane another tissue.
"Who is who?" A confused yet grateful Diane accepted the offering then wiped her face. Traces of mascara could be seen all along the tissue but that didn't even register with Diane- that that was her makeup, her tears. It was as if she had been in another world. In a way, she had been, hadn't she? Sam had torn her down and unlike before, he was not there to build her back up the way he usually did. Diane looked around…how had she gotten to the hospital? She didn't remember driving herself there, and it was probably for the best. Most definitely, Diane Chambers was not in a state to be driving.
"Who brought you here today?"
"I don't know," Diane responded reluctantly. "I was hoping you could tell me."
"Who is the man, Diane? I've seen hundreds of women in your shape, and they were all brought to your state of mind by one thing- a man," Anne responded patiently.
"There is no man. If there were, I would tell you. But there isn't. Not…not now. Now can you please let me go home?"
"I'm afraid you're here for at least three days. Possibly longer if the doctors determine.."
"Doctors… what do doctors have to say about my whereabouts? And I don't want any funny answers. Where am I anyways?"
"You really don't know, do you? Do you know what day it is?"
"It's Thursday."
Anne smiled warmly. "I'm afraid it's Saturday, four in the morning to be exact. And you are at the state hospital. Do you know why you're here?"
Suddenly it had all hit her at once. Sam. The slapping. Didn't love her…never had…Oh God, Diane thought bitterly as she tried to wipe away the tears that had flooded her eyes. This was about Sam. What had he done to her?
"I don't know. I do know that I most certainly do not belong in a place like this. I insist that you let me go immediately or, or..I'll call my mother!"
"Your mother knows you're here."
"Then when is she coming to get me? I want to go home, nay, I demand that I go home right this instant!"
"So you can go home and cry some more? That wouldn't be very prudent of me, now would it, Diane?"
"Stop calling me Diane!"
"That is your name, isn't it?"
"Of course it is. Why are you asking me these things?"
"You really don't know do you?"
"Of course I don't!" Diane cried out, frustrated. "Now let me go." She ran to the door only to find out that it was locked.
"Why are you doing this to me?"
"I'm not doing anything to you. You're here for your own safety. You're being held on a suicide watch. Do you remember almost running into the streets?"
"No. I would never do anything like that. It would be too painful."
"So you admit to having these thoughts before?"
"No," Diane pounded on her chair. "I don't know anything about running into the streets and I most certainly am not suicidal. Nothing would make me…that way."
"I see that you are highly distressed, and my presence isn't helping, is it?"
"No! I want to go home."
Anne stood up, pulling out her keys. "I'll come back while you have time to process what has happened to you. I'll send someone in with a snack. Certainly you must be hungry after what you've been through."
"I won't eat it!"
As Anne walked out the doorway, she turned to her newest patient. "Take care of yourself, Diane. It's going to be all right. You'll remember when you're ready. And I do promise you will feel like talking about it."
"I will never!"
"Goodbye for now, Diane."
Diane looked around the barren room she was in and couldn't believe that this was really happening. It should be Sam the one who was locked up, not her. Sam. Even in her most distressed state she found herself thinking about Sam. And it nearly broke her heart-it would have, if it hadn't already been broken.
TBC