Disclaimer: Square-Enix Incorporated owns all copyrighted material this fanfiction may include. All other materials, such as characters, events, dialogue, et cetera, all belong to Zeshin-kun.

Author's Note: KK, I get it. Don't worry.

Anyway, StoryWeaver, this chapter'll explain how Shuyin knows Auron, though my other fic also explained it, too.

Anyway, thanks for the great reviews!

Spira: The Eternal Discord

Chapter 2: Shuyin's Past: Who's Kirin?

Rikku

I didn't understand it. Everything I knew about him was telling me he was bad news no matter what I may have said to him or what he told me. The guy tried to blow up Spira for crying out loud. He was the meanest meanie if I ever had to pick. The whole time he messed around with Gippal and Nooj and Baralai, it just wasn't right! Two years and all he tried to do was steal that machina to blow up our home. The guy's crazy in the head! I shouldn't even think twice about him!

So why am I headed for the guests' hut? Shuyin'd been lodged in there since there wasn't anywhere else for him to go. Yunie seemed to have accepted him and his story about not being himself. Fayth said he was only a shadow when we found him, but I knew better. He did possess me and all… Wow, that was a creepy thing. I shouldn't think about it anymore. It would make me shake. Wow, look at me, I'm already shaking! Oh, Rikku! Stop thinking like that! Anyway, I knew he was just an unsent. He's like that meanie Seymour. That guy wouldn't stay dead either. But… even Seymour didn't have enough in him to control the fayth like Shuyin did. If he could control someone that powerful, I wonder what else he could've done…

I reached the hut and pulled away the cloth. "Who's there?" Shuyin quickly asked, drawing his sword, "Oh, it's just you. Hey, Rikku. What's up?" With that said, he went back to messing around with the covers. Nobody else was in the hut since the Aurochs were out training again since Wakka finally told them he'd gotten the hang of this baby thing.

"Sorry if this bed isn't as glamorous as the ones you slept in before. Let's see, you were controlling Nooj then, right? So that means LeBlanc's bed? Guess she's got a place a little more pampered than Besaid is." I told him, thinking that that must be why he was fidgeting around.

He looked at me strangely, "What? Oh, I wasn't even in control of Nooj's body when all that stuff happened." Quickly, he stopped messing around with the covers and just climbed in, putting his arms under his head and looking up. "No, don't worry Rikku. I've had my fair share of mediocre bedding. My house, as embarrassed as I'm to say this, was kinda plain. I'm not much of a decorator. Lenne always complained about that. Said I needed to spruce the place up. Lenne… Rikku, I have to find her, maybe even find them… If I'm back, it wouldn't be fair if Lenne, if Kirin, didn't get another chance, too."

"You really miss them, huh?" What was I saying! This was a cover-up! I know it is! But why can't I seem to look the other way? Shuyin's nothing but trouble and I know that. I knew it ever since he… again, not going there. Bad place, very bad place. I felt myself tremble again at the thought.

"Yea, I do miss them…" He told me quietly, never taking his gaze off the roof of the tent, "Thing is, you weren't there… You don't know how I lost them. Rothel, Kion, Vena, and then Kirin… Finally… Lenne…"

"Don't forget you, too!" I corrected, seeing him make a frown as I did so.

Shaking his head slowly, he turned to face me, "Rikku, as if I deserve to be counted. I promised myself that I'd protect my friends. I failed that. I promised that if they killed Rothel, I'd make Bevelle suffer. I failed that, too. I promised I'd never let Lenne die…" After he finished saying that, he looked away and I knew he was doing what I tried to every time I thought of something sad. He just knew how to show it a little less that I did.

"Shuyin… You didn't fail them. That's why Lenne came back to you, right? Yunie was feeling Lenne's emotions and Paine said that her last words to you were happy ones! You didn't fail them in their eyes! Anyway, I wouldn't want you to blow up Spira if I was in Kirin's place." Trying to comfort Shuyin by making him think of me as Kirin wasn't a smart idea…

"Kirin… She wanted me to rip out a girl's heart once. Of course, that's only after she lost Ju, but even then… I'd never seen so much bloodlust. That really hurt. And that was my fault, too." This guy was just one big self-pity parade. He blamed everything on himself, "If I knew Areth was up to no good, and I really should've guessed that but I wanted to be naïve, Ju wouldn't have died. He'd be alive and Kirin would've been happy. Well, Damu was my fault, too. Kirin'd always been there for me and all I had to show for it was letting her down time and time again. Damu, Ju, and her blood are all on my hands, Rikku. I should've been able to keep them safe, but I didn't. Now, nothing's ever going to change that."

"Oh will you get over it!" I screamed, probably a little louder than I wanted to, "I'm here now and you told me I was just like Kirin! Well, excuse me, but I wouldn't want my friends to feel like they owed me something! So what if I was killed by Bevelle or something! That doesn't mean that it's your fault! If you wanna blame anybody, blame Bevelle for being stupid heads!"

Although he looked at me with surprise, the smile he gave me after showed me he still thought I was being naïve. A lot of people have thought I was naïve. Yunie even did. It wasn't anything new. I was the youngest. I was Cid's little girl. Who'd ever want to take me seriously? "Rikku, if I could show you what I saw happen to Kirin, happen to Ju, happen to Damu, I think I could make you change your mind." He said to me, taking in a deep breath, "But… I'm no longer the Terror of Spira. Nope, I'm just your normal average blitzer. Although, maybe if I just showed you Kirin, you might get something out of that. Who knows?" After that, he just shifted, turning himself to face the back of the hut and away from me.

"Fine then! If you think seeing Kirin in the Farplane will do me any good, let's go!" I said forcefully, trying to be stubborn.

He only laughed and got up from his bed, "Whoever said anything about the Farplane?" I looked at him oddly. "Rikku, I buried Kirin myself. If you want to see her, we go to Mt. Gagazet. Of course, having that geyser on her that whole time, she was somehow restored, but seeing her lifeless form might still change your mind. Who knows, maybe neighboring pyreflies can lend me some aid and show you what I'm talking about."

I thought about it. Did I want to go to Mt. Gagazet with Shuyin… alone? Kimahri was up there so if he tried anything, he would protect me. Plus, since he's the elder, he could always have the other ronso stop him, too. I think I'd be safe. "Well, promise you won't try anything and I'll go." Just being safer, right?

He laughed a little, "Rikku, you're just as cute as she was. Fine, I promise on my own grave, since I've had one, that I won't do any of that make Spira go haywire stuff. As if I could, but I'll still promise." Then, he yawned and snapped his fingers, "Just remembered: It's still night and I'm tired. We should probably just go tomorrow."

"What are you chickening out?" What am I saying!

"Chickening out? Fine, you wanna go now, we'll go. Just giving you a warning. I'm all too capable of handling long nights. I've had a few of those with Lenne and Kirin. I'm just not sure you're up to it. Then again, you are lightning charged like Kirin was. You'd probably do as well as she does." He said, getting the covers off him and walking to the exit. Looking back before he left, he asked, "So are you coming?"

What could I do now? Stupid stupid stupid! Now I've done it! Well, he does seem different now. It's not like he's all crazy, talking creepy talk like he was before. I could give him a chance. Yunie did. Heck, after that macho fight, even Shuyin's duplicate seemed alright with it. He'd been the most fired up out of all of us when we fought Seymour. Of course, that was just him being jealous of the guy at first, but he'd acted just like this when Shuyin first met him. I guess he just couldn't stand anybody being mean to Yunie. Well, neither can I, but he does more physically, like kick and scream about killing Seymour after he kissed Yunie in Bevelle.

"Uh, are you coming? Don't just stare at me like I've got five heads. Hello? Rikku? Are you in there?" Shuyin asked me, waving at me just like he would. Him and Shuyin aren't that far off, I guess. Wait, now I've gone off the subject again.

"Yea, I'm coming. Hold your chocobos!" I told him, finally getting off my knees to follow him outside. "So how are we going to get there?"

"Oh right, you guys have no hovers. What a pity. Al Bhed always loved machina. I know you'd love all the hoverglyphs, hoverglides, and hover cruisers we had in Zanarkand." Shuyin said, obviously going on another memory trip. "Oh well, what's lost is lost. At least you guys still have Akoji and Pally's airship… well, unless my brain was playing tricks on me."

"Akoji? Pally? Their airship? What are you talking about?" I asked. What's with this guy and all these names? I didn't know anything about Akoji or Pally or anybody else he mentioned.

He smiled widely and lowered his head, "I'm sorry, Rikku. It's been a while since I've actually had the chance to relax and reminisce. I mean talking to that other version of me about things and talking to you about Kirin and my other friends, it was really the first time I'd been capable of talking about them without going into a fit of rage. It was kinda nice…"

"Well, that's all well and good, but you still didn't tell me about who they all are. You just keep babbling. It's even worse than Maechen at times." I replied, waving my arms a little, "And you also didn't say how you knew about Auron either! You two never met, I think. How would you know about him?"

"Okay, first things first: I know Auron because… well, a thousand years in a cave, you didn't really think all I saw was one death, did you? I saw everyone's suffering on Spira for a millennium. When Auron was dying and tried to get to Yuna to keep his promise to Braska, I felt his anguish when he realized he wouldn't make it. I felt his pain when he watched Kimahri Ronso leave in his place as he breathed his last breaths. I know about Braska, too. Oh, by the way, if you know about Jecht and how he's the other me's dad, he's also mine. See, dad pulled off a returning act just like I did, only he managed to just meld and replace his copy… well, sort of. I think when that one got to Spira, my dad was basically reborn. I don't know how he got back into the Farplane, but whatever happened, that's when he remembered everything about me and his real life." Shuyin explained. Wow, this guy's explanations take a while. Although, saying that he's suffered what all Spirans suffered was kinda creepy, too. He went through that much? Maybe it shouldn't be that surprising he went loony. "Anyway, that's how I know them. Regarding my friends… Where to begin? You know what? Why don't we get aboard that ferry over there and I'll tell you as we go along?"

"Why take the ferry? The Celsius is just over there. Even if it's Brother and Buddy's ship, I know how to fly it, too. It doesn't take a genius. I mean if Brother can fly it." I told him, not sure if what I was doing was right. Letting Shuyin on our airship, at night, to go to Mt. Gagazet with him by myself, it really didn't seem like the best plan in the world.

"Well, if we're going, we should still leave the others a sphere. You know, let them know where you are and all. Don't want them worrying about you. I mean, that's why you've been playing around with your braid all this time, right? Still a little nervous I might kidnap you or something." He knew exactly what I was thinking and that was really really scary. It reminded me that he'd been in control of my body once and I shook again. "Look, you have nothing to be scared of. I already showed you that I'm alive. Alive meaning I'm not the evil ghost of Bevelle's dark past anymore. I'm just your plain old everyday Joe, only… I'm a star blitzer Joe with the sword skills taught by an unsent legend." With that, he smiled at me warmly, a very sincere smile, I can tell you that.

"Alright… I trust you. I guess, it's just hard, ya know? You did… well…" I tried to tell him, but the thought of what he did to me just made me shake again.

"I know. I possessed you and it was creepy as crap and you really find it hard to think I'm not like that anymore. Rikku, believe me, I find it a little funny I'm not all bloody murder and let loose the dogs of war and stuff, too. You know what I blame that on? I blame you and Yuna. You were the loon that threw yourself over your cousin when I was about to strike. You know what I saw then?" I know what he saw. He saw Kirin. That's what he mumbled then anyway. I remember thinking that he was really off his rocker for thinking Yunie was Lenne and I was Kirin. But then he explained that his past basically caught up to him with me and he was really trying to be a meanie to Yunie. "Anyway, Kirin reminded me not to lose my heart and my heart held me back. Of course, having a heart may have cost me that fight, but if Lenne hadn't shown up when she did, I doubt that would've lasted too long. You aren't anything if you've got no soul. Lenne's mine and until I was reunited with her, the man you saw was practically a shadow, like Fayth said."

"You really need to tell me about them. Well, here's a sphere. I guess I'll just tell them where we're going then." I informed him, moving to press the record on it.

He stopped me, "Maybe I should. If you record it by yourself, they might just think I coerced you into going and I'm up to no good. If I record a message, too, they'll be able to see me and I'm sure Yuna can tell my evil face from my good face." So that was that. He took the sphere and pushed record, "Yuna, me and Rikku are going on a trip to Gagazet to see Kirin since Rikku's been dying to see her. We should be back soon. Oh, and Rikku's taking the Celsius. Here she is."

He gave me the sphere while it was still recording, "Hiya Yunie! Don't worry, I'm just gonna borrow it. Shuyin seems to know who it used to belong to. Well, anyway, we're going to Mt. Gagazet so you don't have to worry about me. I'm sure you know why! Well, bye bye Yunie! See you soon!" I waved at the sphere and stopped it. "I'll just go put it over by their hut."

It took a minute or two, but I was back with Shuyin there waiting for me, "Shall we?" I pointed at the airship and started a small jog toward it.

"And just where do you think you're going… especially with him?" A low and toneless voice whispered from the shadows. It was Paine, but she still hated Shuyin a lot so I kinda expected this.

"Paine, please. If I wanted to harm anyone, don't you think I'd have done it by now? I didn't really take my sweet time with your friends, if I remember correctly." Shuyin told her, obviously making her crazy angry again.

I had to hold her back before she hurt him. She kept charging at Shuyin but I had to keep her away. "Shuyin! Why are you being such a meanie! Apologize to her and maybe she'll calm down!"

I heard a huff and then Shuyin's frustration seemed to show, "Paine. I'm sorry about what I've done. What can I say? I've done them and that's my past. If you can't forgive me, I never expected you to. However, that gives you no right to stop me from going through with the life I've been given."

"And what about those you killed? Don't they get a second chance? Why can't they be back and you be gone! You really don't deserve this! You possess me and you use my friends just for your own sick little plans! I hate you! I'll never let you live it down! You've caused us enough trouble as it is! Why don't you just crawl back into that stinking cave and stay dead for once!" She screamed at him, her body trembling in my arms for the very first time. I felt little drops of water hit my shoulder and mix with my hair and I knew that she was crying.

"Paine! It's okay! He definitely hurt you, but you have to let it go. I mean I had to let it go when the guado attacked Home, right? Even though they killed so many of my friends, I still had to let it go because they weren't all bad. Now, you have to forgive Shuyin because the guy we fought before isn't him. This Shuyin's really good at heart… at least I hope so." I told my friend, hugging her even though she struggled to get me off every now and then.

"I'm really sorry I've put you through all this… I didn't realize… no I realized completely what I was doing… Fact is, this was what I wanted to stop. Look, I wasn't myself back then. I was driven by the pain of Spira's people and my goal was to have Spira destroyed so that nobody would suffer anymore. That was a stupid plan. I see that now. There's no reason to stop the suffering just because it's there. People suffer but life's still more valuable than eternal peace. I told you, Rikku. I've failed everyone. I'm failing people now." Man, these guys weren't making my job easy.

"Shuyin, you haven't failed anyone. People make mistakes! Who cares! Just let it go! Lennie even said that to you! And Paine, why don't you just go to sleep? I'm sure after you're all rested, you'll be a little better at dealing with this. You can't think straight if you're brains all fuzzy, right?" I walked Paine to our hut and put her under the covers. She was already exhausted from crying and yelling so much that she fell asleep while I was still walking her over. Well, after I got her all set, I went back to mopey number two. "Okay Shuyin. Pick that chin up and let's get a move on to Mt. Gagazet!"

He nodded slowly and went onboard after I opened the hatch. I could tell he was still beating himself up over what Paine was yelling at him about, "You know, if you stay mopey, you're failing your friends, too. I don't think Romer or Keyone or whoever would appreciate their pal moping around like this."

He smiled a little and let out a very small snicker, "It's Rothel and Kion and Vena. And… you're right. They wouldn't like it too much if I just kept moping around. Rothel would get pissed off at me for doing it. Kion'd probably just offer up a smoke and Vena, well she'd be all emotional councilor on my butt." That did the trick. At least he wasn't all upset anymore.

I walked away from him and over to the main controls of the Celsius. Hitting the ignition, I raised the airship from the ground and piloted it on course for Mt. Gagazet. "Hold onto your shoopuffs! This is gonna be one heckuva ride!"

"So this is what the airship looks like from within. Looks kinda cute. Guess Lenne and Kirin had some fun riding this thing with those Al Bhed." Wait, Shuyin never rode this? Didn't he say he did? Was this some kind of trick? Did he set me up? What if… "Oh, just in case you're wondering, I went on a different airship. It was Damu's. Haven't seen that one in a while, but I know I'm never seeing that one again." That brought me a wave of relief. Thank you for knowing what I'm feeling.

"Why not? Why aren't you going to see that again? Maybe we've already discovered it." I asked him, knowing full well that even this airship was found, not made.

"Well, it'd be kinda useless to find an airship that's probably mangled up with some war machina parts in the Calm Lands." He told me. So it was in some sort of accident? "Bevelle was attacking Zanarkand while we were in Besaid. Damu rushed us all back there and then the airship was hit by a missile. It started going down and Damu, being the damn heroic he is, tried to suicide dive it into another machina. Sure enough, that time I did save his stupid ass. Of course, that didn't stop him from trying it again and the second time, I wasn't so lucky with the saving part."

"Well, you did save him, right? So there! You can't always be there for everybody. You weren't a super unsent back then. You were only human. You can't always make it out to be that you're some kind of shield for all of your friends to take shelter behind. Yunie tried that during her pilgrimage and even she couldn't take it all the way. You put too much pressure on yourself. It's not very healthy." I'd say that's some of my best stuff yet, wouldn't you?

Shuyin didn't say anything more, his warmth being all I needed to tell me that he agreed with what I said. As the sun began to rise, I continued to steer the Celsius closer and closer to Mt. Gagazet and Kirin. I'll see you soon. Wonder how much she looks like me…

Author's Note: Okie dokie. I'm supposed to say stuff about this chapter, but ya know what? The only thing I actually need to mention is: What'd ya think of my Rikku and the having Paine break down like that. oO