III.
Barry wakes up slowly, his consciousness rising in a lazy manner that tricks his foggy mind into believing he's been asleep for years.
At first, he's not sure where he is. He knows he's at least home, the scent and warmth from his childhood something that he doesn't need open eyes to recognize. The blanket over his body and the pillow beneath his head are also recognizable as items that typically reside on his bed, but the soft yet lumpy cushions under him are too fragmented to be his actual mattress. He wants to open his eyes and solve this mystery but he's too tired to wake up and face what is likely to be a blinding light.
There's some soft background noise. Barry's so disoriented that he can't tell where it's coming from, every sound that echoes reaching him and sounding like it just moved through water. Maybe he could go back to sleep. That way, Barry would be able to forget about all of his worries and eliminate the overwhelming achiness and exhaustion that's taking him over with every second he spends awake.
He should probably be more concerned about his lack of awareness but he knows he's home so he's safe and he counts that as a win.
Instead of focusing on his current predicament, Barry tries to recall what could have led to this situation. Sadly, he remembers being sick the day before, a recollection that makes him wrinkle his nose in disgust when the memory makes his stomach threaten uneasiness. He remembers, more or less, his day spent in a hot and cold delirium until Joe had come home, gotten him to eat a little, and then had let him collapse in a pathetic heap on the couch where Barry had remained and slept for approximately a century. Well then, he must still be on the couch if that's where Joe let him rest last night.
At least that problem's solved. Still, he's stuck with the battle between getting up and testing his health, something that sounds horribly unappealing at the moment, and staying in this position for as long as humanly possible. The second option sounds much better in his opinion, so he opts to snuggle up as best he can in his blanket as he tries to sink into the couch cushions.
But of course, there's this tiny, responsible part of Barry's brain that's still active despite all of the vomiting and delirium he's been suffering through. This part of him keeps him from truly settling down in the couch again. He can't rest when he remembers that he's the Flash, that there could be people out there who need his help while he's trying to make excuses so he can get maybe an extra hour of sleep. Barry's gut churns, but the guilty pit that forms isn't a result of his illness. And his day job…
Oh no, Singh might actually kill him if it turns out he's slept in once more, sick or not. He will be the next level of fired, he will burst into flames from the ferocity that will be Singh's anger. Fear for his job security is finally what tears Barry's eyes open and forces him to sit bolt upright, moving to a seated position with such urgency that he may use a bit of his speed to complete the task.
His conclusion had been correct when he had decided that he was lying on the couch. The morning light of the living room is thankfully dim, only pouring in from the windows with all of the house's artificial light mercifully turned off. The background noise he had faintly registered comes from the TV displaying the local news at a low volume. Barry gets distracted by it for a few moments before he realizes he doesn't even know what's happening and he fixes his attention on the rest of the room.
Sitting off to the side in one of the armchairs is Joe. The man is bent over, fully dressed for his day of work and almost ready except for the shoes he's currently working on tying. When Barry suddenly jumps into a sitting position, Joe startles away from his feet and sits up, his shoes hastily finished. Barry must look pretty disheveled because Joe narrows his eyes in suspicious concern and approaches Barry. It's probably his instinctive fatherly instinct that makes Joe press his hand against Barry's forehead, but Barry doesn't mind the steady presence to keep him grounded.
But, almost as quickly as he put it there, Joe withdraws his hand with a disapproving frown and Barry tries to pretend that he doesn't almost fall over without the support. "How do you feel?"
"Fine," Barry answers immediately. He does feel a bit better, if not dizzy and tired, but anything is better than his non-stop vomiting from yesterday.
Joe hums in that way that conveys his lack of belief and Barry has the urge to stand up so Joe can't stare down at him, but he doesn't because the couch's soft cushions are so inviting and his legs don't want to move. "You still feel a little warm."
"Honestly, Joe," Barry assures him. He tries to hide every hint that might even suggest he doesn't feel well and he smiles. "I feel better."
Joe sighs but Barry knows it's a sound that means Barry's won so he waits patiently as Joe comes to terms with his defeat. "Fine." Joe glances down at his watch and smirks. "If you can change fast, we can probably still make it to-"
Before Joe's even done with his sentence, Barry's off, changing into a simple red sweater and pair of jeans within seconds. He arrives downstairs in front of Joe with a gust of wind and a dizzy spell he's able to recover from when Joe's eyes are closed, shielding him from the breeze.
"Typical." Joe mutters as he slides his coat on and walks out the door and to his car. Barry follows closely behind, shaking his head and rolling his shoulders in an effort to fully wake up. In general, he still feels hot and achy and lightheaded but he needs to get out of the house and work before he starts to go crazy. Besides, he'll need to get over to S.T.A.R. Labs when his shift is over as they still have a metahuman to catch.
The drive is silent. Barry zones out five minutes in and stares out the window, perfectly aware of Joe glancing at him every few seconds. Deep down, he knows that going to work isn't a good idea but he can't stay cooped up in the house while his friends work hard to track down the meta from the other night.
He must slip into a partial state of sleep because he only notices that they've arrived at the precinct when Joe gently rouses him. Barry doesn't look back at Joe when he exits the car, the face of concern he would find if he happened to turn around too prominent in his mind already.
Thankfully, Joe lets Barry go to his lab without a fuss, the older man hanging back to go to his desk and likely talk to the captain. The climb upstairs is more taxing on Barry than usual. Each step is harder than the previous one and his head is spinning and stomach is trembling from nausea by the time he finally makes it to the top. Regrets are swirling around in his mind when he has to stop in the bathroom to throw up before he can finally unlock his lab and collapse in his desk chair.
Barry goes through his work a lot more slowly than usual, which is definitely abnormal for him. He missed one minor break-in from his sick day so there are a couple of prints he needs to go through but other than that, there are only a few more reports that he needs to finish and hand over to Singh by the end of the day.
He zones out more than once and ends up banging his head on the desk multiple times as a result. In two hours, he's only been able to check the prints against the database and finish one of his reports. Joe stops by to make sure he's still awake and alive and he stays for an achingly long twenty minutes to watch Barry eat one of his calorie bars. Joe doesn't tell Barry he looks like crap and Barry doesn't mention feeling poorly so they seem to reach a silent agreement that they will avoid the topic until they're out of work.
More time goes by and he throws up again in the bathroom down the hall, deeming the calorie bar pointless. On the bright side, he does manage to finish another report and take a brief nap by the time lunchtime swings by.
He's rolling a pen back and forth on his desk, the centrifuge humming at the opposite end of the room, when there's a faint knock on the doorframe. He spins around slowly, raising his head from its position against the desk when he sees Iris standing with a paper bag and a small smile on her face.
"Hey," She greets, raising the bag like a trophy. "Lunch?"
Barry sits up fully and resists the urge to stretch and yawn. He gestures for her to come in and she enters the lab happily, perching herself on the edge of his desk and dropping the bag down on a short stack of papers. He can smell the Chinese food in the bag without the top even being open and his stomach tumbles a little in protest.
Iris pulls the bag open, letting out all of the steam right in Barry's face. He wants to eat, he wishes he could eat, but he's not so sure that his stomach agrees with his sentiments. He wrinkles his nose when the smell hits him, but Iris is focusing on taking out a few cartons of food so his cover isn't blown yet.
Barry settles for some steamed rice picks at it with a plastic fork Iris got him. He manages a few tentative bite, but he mostly pretends to be eating as he tries to ignore the protests coming from his stomach. Iris cuts him some slack in the conversation department. He knows that she can tell he still feels like crap so she's trying to distract him by talking about some things going on at CCPN. He appreciates that she's trying to help him out, but he can't focus on her lively work stories.
Pretty soon, Iris has to pack everything up so she can head back over to work. She frowns at all of the leftover food but she doesn't comment until she's slung her purse over her shoulder and has risen from her seat on the desk.
"Barry," Iris starts, her voice taking on that compassionate and concerned tone she gets when protecting her family and friends. "You need to go home."
He waves a dismissive hand. "I'm fine."
"You're sick," She states bluntly. "And you're not going to get any better if you keep stupidly pushing yourself."
Barry keeps his eyes trained on his shoes. He knows that looking up will break his willpower. They wait in silence for a few more moments, both too stubborn to say anything else. Finally, Barry hears Iris sigh in defeat and her hands rests supportively on his shoulder for a moment before her footsteps click away and disappear into the hall. When he finally finds the energy to lift his head, she is long gone, probably downstairs reporting to Joe on Barry's condition before she heads back to work.
The rest of his workday passes by in a surprisingly exhausting blur. He runs a few tests on the blood from the centrifuge and records his results. He dozes lightly on a couple of files after he finishes another long overdue report. He distantly hears his phone buzzing a few times, but it's so far away and if there happened to be an actual emergency, Barry's pretty sure his friends would come get him.
Barry probably naps for another hour before there's firm hand gently shaking his shoulder and pulling him back toward consciousness. He blinks blearily at his sleeping computer monitor and he turns around to find Joe rousing him.
"Hey, Barr," Joe says softly. "Time to head over to S.T.A.R. Labs, we don't want Singh to find you sleeping in here, do we?"
Barry grimaces and rubs his eyes. "No S.T.A.R. Labs."
"Don't you want to find the metahuman that attacked you?" Joe questions. Barry knows that his foster dad has an ulterior motive, but Barry figures that he might as well humor him.
"Fine." Barry groans. He rises from his chair slowly, muscles screaming in protest and his stomach giving a threatening lurch forward. Still, Barry grits his teeth and stands, determined not throw up on his foster father and affectively blow his cover. He turns off his computer, gives his lab a final glance, and heads out into the hallway with Joe. Barry can feel Joe's concerned eyes burning his back so he does his best to straighten out his shoulders and at least look like he's feeling better.
They go straight to the elevator once they're downstairs, so Barry assumes that Joe's already told Singh that they're heading out. Barry's grateful that Joe made sure to inform their boss before he'd gotten Barry. Barry's not up to talking to anyone at the moment.
In the car, Joe lets Barry stay in his own little world. He doesn't pester Barry for his current condition, he just drives and doesn't comment as Barry's forehead slides down the glass of his window as his strength fades away. Barry has a feeling that Joe's waiting for everyone at S.T.A.R. Labs to be the ones to knock some sense into Barry, but he's determined not to let that happen.
The drive passes by quickly and soon enough, Barry is walking out of the elevator with Joe, his feet dragging as they make their way to the cortex.
Cisco is working at the monitors, typing away furiously with a crease in his brow and a lollipop in his mouth. Caitlin and Jay are off in one of the separate rooms hovering around a microscope, Caitlin gesturing wildly as she speaks and Jay nodding every once in a while.
"Hey, Cisco." Joe greets, announcing their presence.
Cisco's head nods up slightly. "Hey, guys." He stops typing and spins around in his chair, his eyes widening when he sees Barry. "You look like crap!"
Joe actually snorts and Barry tries his best to glare at both of them. "Thanks, Cisco."
"Dude, I'm serious!" His friend continues. "Like, actual, bed-ridden crap." Cisco's eyes narrow suspiciously and he slides back a little in his chair. "Are you contagious? 'Cause whatever you got, I don't want it."
Barry rolls his eyes, but he regrets it as soon as he starts to feel nauseas. His head suddenly feels like and his face feels cold so he blinks a few times to try and get the feeling to pass. Cisco's nose is wrinkled up at him and he's practically cringing away in that stupid chair but Barry can't find it in himself to focus on that because the world's a little tilted and he needs to concentrate on not falling over.
"Are you gonna throw up?" Cisco asks before turning to look at Joe. "Is he gonna throw up?"
"I hope not." Joe grumbles. "Just let him sit down."
Without a word, Cisco vacates the seat and Joe gently nudges Barry in its direction. Barry plops down in it gratefully, immediately running his hands over his face and through his hair. "I'm fine."
"Uh-huh." Joe mutters, not at all believing it.
"Yeah, no." Cisco says behind his shoulder. "I really doubt that."
Barry misses having the energy to glare.
The click of heels across the floor makes Barry raise his head. Caitlin and Jay have emerged and are approaching their small gathering. Jay is frowning and Caitlin has an intense combination of professionalism and worry mixed into her expression.
"Barry," She starts to say. "You should really go lie down."
"I'm okay." He says. When she fixes him with a determined stare, he continues. "Honestly, I'm just a little sick. It'll pass."
"Barry, your body underwent extraordinary changes after the particle accelerator exploded." Caitlin says. "So much of it is unknown territory that we can't take any chances, even if it just seems like the flu."
"Caitlin, if it gets worse, I will come to you. But I'm fine, promise."
She is still biting her lip, but she nods slightly so Barry counts that as a win.
He decides to move the conversation away from him. "So, have we figured out anything about our meta?"
Jay joins the conversation. "Caitlin and I went back to where you fought with her and we've been working on analyzing what we found there."
Barry nods and swallows thickly when his brain feels like it's rattling around inside of his head.
"I went to interview the witnesses yesterday to follow up on the break-in at Mercury Labs." Joe is standing directly behind Barry with his arms crossed around his chest. Any other time, Barry might consider him a little too close but Joe's calming and supportive presence is soothing to his aching head and stormy stomach. "Mostly, the scientists were upset that so much of their research and equipment had been destroyed but they were able to give a description. She was wearing a mask, but it's a start at seeing if anyone can recognize her."
"What were the scientists working on in there?" Barry asks, his voice sounding too loud to his sensitive head.
"It was some research on potentially genetically modifying some poisonous plants in order to become antidotes. So far, they're only in the very early stages of development, but now they're even further off schedule due to the meta wrecking all of their stuff." Cisco informs the group. They're probably only discussing this for his benefit, as they have more than likely already went over this info, and Barry really appreciates this, he does.
Except his head is pounding and his throat feels like it's already filled with bile and he can't focus while his brain is trying to point out every painful part of his body. Barry can't tell if they've continued on with the conversation until he feels Joe's heavy hand on his shoulder.
"Barry, you with us?" Great, that concern is back and Barry doesn't know if that's worse than his actual sickness.
"Yeah." He says, but that's all he can manage and he doesn't have the energy to raise his head and give an encouraging smile.
The heels are clicking on the floor again and Caitlin is next to him, urging him to lift his exhausted head with kind words. Her hands are cold on his flushed cheeks as she tilts his head from side to side and takes in his condition.
"Why don't you go lie down in the other room, okay? You can sleep for a bit while we keep working." Caitlin tries to offer him a compromise.
Barry's tempted to listen to her, to go and sleep in a nice soft bed where he's safe and looked after. But, that piece of him that wants the security his friends offer is overwhelmed by that part that fills him with guilt, that part that reminds him of all the pain he's caused over the past year. Because he can't possibly stand to look in his friends' eyes and see concern he doesn't even deserve, Barry shakes his head.
"Nah, I'll just go home and sleep."
Caitlin's eyes are narrowed but she doesn't argue with his decision. She looks up at Joe for a moment and they seem to have a silent conversation over him, one that probably pertains to making sure he doesn't do anything stupid. While he understands where his friends are coming from, Barry can't help but feel a little insulted when they automatically assume he can't watch over his own well-being.
Joe helps him stand and they walk back to where they came from, the well-wishes of his friends bidding him farewell.
Maybe Barry should have stayed behind, should have worked with his friends and gotten some actual medical care, but his brain might actually be trying to escape his head and his stomach is rebelling so Barry can't help but long for his dark room where he can be alone for a while.
At home that night, Joe tucks Barry in like he did when he was a kid, and Barry lies awake in bed for hours as his body tries to tear itself apart.
He barely sleeps.