Paradoxical Instincts

Chapter Three:

I Valiantly Protect a Pair of Boots

Throughout the night, I toed the line between being awake and sleep. Sometimes, I'd feel the heavy tendrils of dreams start to drag me down, but it always seemed like thunder would cut through the sky right before I could give in. Shut up, Zeus, I thought bitterly.

The cold sank deeper and deeper into me. I couldn't stop shivering, even with my mediocre shelter. I started to feel weird; dizziness and drowsiness grew within me and my cat body heaved with every breath.

If I died as a cat, I would make sure to haunt Lou Ellen for the rest of her life.

Then, after what felt like forever, I stopped shivering. The wind was still blowing and my fur was still wet, but I didn't feel freezing. I relaxed. I felt unfocused but didn't have the energy to care.

Footsteps reached my ears. The porch shuddered as what sounded like a parade stampeded over it. The part of my mind that was still awake screamed that I needed to catch their attention. Meow! Growl! Make sort of noise! But I couldn't make my body move. Lights streamed around me, illuminating the smooth wood of the porch, but none of them landed on me in my little shelter.

Voices. I couldn't really understand them over the rain, but it sounded like they were saying someone was missing. Delirious, I wondered who it was that was missing. There was more said and I caught a few words: an open window, scratches on a door, something about Lou Ellen? Then the porch vibrated again as the parade stormed away.

How weird, I considered drowsily before I relaxed back into a tired stupor.

The storm raged on. Occasionally, the lights passed by and I could hear people calling what sounded suspiciously like my name. I was so out of it that I found myself wondering if I should join and help them look for me.

The rain started to subside right around the time that the sun peeked above the horizon. I was still hovering on the edge of consciousness.

When the parade returned for the second time to the porch, they had lost a lot of their energy. Many sets of feet clumped up the steps.

The biggest issue wasn't that I was tired and delirious. No, the biggest issue was that this parade of people – and by that I mean monsters – was here to steal the Athena statue. I still needed to get the statue to Camp Half Blood so that the Romans didn't destroy everything! Percy was counting on me and I wasn't about to let him down. Besides that, if I didn't, I might end up in another damned vase. I wasn't sure how, but I knew it had to be a possible repercussion. Monsters liked to put me in vases. On that note, I definitely did not want to be put in another vase.

I placed a paw on the statue (which only looked like a pair of boots to confuse mortals) and focused on being as silent as possible.

With the rain calmed to a light drizzle, I could hear their talk.

"Hey, it'll be alright, Will." That sounded like Piper's voice, her charmspeak thick and refreshing, but I knew better. I wasn't about to fall for some empousa's impression of my friend. "We'll find him. He's got to be around here somewhere."

"We've already looked all around camp." That sounded like Will. Crafty bastards! I thought with bewilderment. Somehow, they had figured out my crush and were going to try to use his voice against me. Will sounded hurt and tired, but I wasn't about to be deceived into letting my statue get stolen.

"He might have went into the forest." Annabeth's voice suggested. These empousai are good at their impressions, I thought, seriously impressed.

"Maybe he's stuck in a tree?" A gruff, high pitched voice; that was either a female titan or an empousa pretending to be Clarisse.

Foot steps approached my shelter. I kept my eyes as wide as they could go as I stared out between the statue/boots and watched their feet get closer. Some how, the empousai had found muddy rain boots to fit their ugly bronze hooves into.

"We went through the forest pretty thoroughly -"

"- and we didn't see him there at all." The two voices of the Stoll brothers chimed in in quick succession.

"Cats don't just disappear." Jason's voice huffed. It was kind of weird that the monsters were looking for a cat. Maybe that was a trick? I was really confused. I knew there was a good reason that they were looking for a cat, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"There are scratches in the door." Will's voice cracked as he spoke. "Something bad might have happened." My heart ached at how broken he sounded. The empousai were trying to use my emotions against me.

Statue. I reminded myself. Guard the statue. I sunk my nails (or, claws? Weird, where did those come from?) into the boot.

"Well, if none of you have any other suggestions, then I'm going to take a break. I'm beat." Clarisse's voiced grunted as her empousa legs got way too close to my shelter. I fluffed up and prepared myself to battle. Well, sorta. I didn't actually have the energy to move, but I was mentally ready for battle.

And then my shelter moved. All of sudden, excruciating pain raced up my backside from my tail. I screeched and curled up tightly. It happened so quickly that I was didn't know who was attacking me or how.

The voices on porch erupted into chaotic shouting. My entire body started spasming as the pain clashed with my unstable state.

I almost didn't notice when my shelter was abruptly broken apart and the wet, frigid wood disappeared from under me. The monsters shouted, filling my ears with a cacophony of noise. My tail felt like it was on fire. Wait, tail? Why did I have a tail? What had these monsters done to me!?

I tried to flail out of the grasp of my attacker, but I only managed a very weak wiggle.

"It's okay, Nico." A reassuring voice murmured into my ears. "You're going to be okay." Disoriented, I found myself uncertain if the voice was an empousa's or actually Will's.

Everything happened very quickly. The scenery changed sporadically. The monsters started rubbing me down with towels, which was weird. I considered that perhaps these monsters aren't very smart? With the intelligence level of some of the monsters I'd met, I wouldn't have been too surprised if they thought that demigods were weakened by towels. Fools, I thought manically, I am completely resistant to towels!

One of the monsters – the one that looked like Will – pulled off his shirt. Empousa-Will's chest was built sexily, just like real-Will's chest. I didn't complain when he cuddled me close to his warm, bare chest and swaddled me with blankets. I wasn't cold any more though, so I wasn't sure why they were bothering with all this.

"I don't like having to try and treat him while he's a cat!" Empousa-Will's voice growled, "Where's Lou Ellen? We need to break this stupid spell right now!"

Another voice chimed in, "I'll go get her."

Empousa-Will started to adjust me again, hugging me closer. Pain shot up my spine again from my tail and I cried out. I wiggled, helpless like a newborn baby, as the monster unwrapped part of the blankets and gently grabbed my tail. "No, stop." I whimpered.

The empousai started to hum frantically, and the pain went away. I blinked in confusion. My tail didn't ache any more. For a monster, this empousa wasn't that bad of a guy.

I allowed myself to snuggle closer to his chest. The warmth was strangely addicting. Maybe I was cold? Regardless, this new place was some much more comfortable then outside by the stupid statue. My eyelids drooped close and sleep tugged gently at the corners of my mind.

I was about to fall asleep when empousa (or... maybe that was Will?) started to jostle me. "You gotta stay awake, Nico. You can't sleep." He chided me, before starting to lightly bounce me up and down.

"Nooo..." I complained weakly. Sleep was calling my name. I wanted to sleep. "Stop..." Will's annoying bouncing made it impossible to give in to my fatigue.

Two girls stormed into the cabin. (Cabin? Wait, when did I enter a cabin?) Annabeth and Lou Ellen were out of breath as they hurried over to where I was.

"Is he alright?" Lou Ellen asked.

"He'd be better if he wasn't a cat! Cancel your damn curse, Lou Ellen!" I had never heard Will snarl like that at anyone, not even Octavian. I wasn't sure if I'd heard him correctly.

Also, the walls were totally spinning.

Lou Ellen exchanged nervous looks with Annabeth and some of the other demigods that (I had just noticed) were also in the cabin.

"Lou Ellen, I know you didn't accidentally turn him into a cat! Reverse it! I can't feed him ambrosia to a cat! This isn't cute any more!" Will sounded desperate as he yelled at the daughter of Hecate.

"Well, the thing is, I kinda put a condition on the spell." Lou Ellen muttered remorsefully.

"What!? What is the condition!?"

"Uh... Nico has to kiss someone." Lou Ellen bit her lower lip.

A red blush spread over Will's face. Or maybe I was imagining that? "... that's it!?"

"Yes, well, but -"

Will didn't wait for Lou Ellen to finish. The warm chest disappeared as I was lifted up. Will's face loomed in front me. Wait... I thought, as confusion whirled around in my mind. What's going on?

Lips pressed into my cat muzzle, which was weird because I didn't have lips to be kissed on. Besides that, I still wasn't sure what was going on. I froze until Will pulled away.

Whatever was happening, I knew one thing for sure: I was still a cat. Wait, why was I cat again? My head hurts, I thought with a groan.

"Lou Ellen, why didn't that work?" Will demanded shakily, after wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.

"Uhhhh." Lou Ellen dragged out her uh for several seconds. "Nico has to kiss someone. Someone kissing him doesn't count. Syntax is paramount with spells."

Will gaped at Lou Ellen. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"Hey, spells are difficult and complex!" She whined back.

Before the two could start bickering, Piper stepped in between them. Soothing charmspeak flowed through her words as she spoke, "Hey, let's all calm down. Will, you can treat Nico even as a cat, right?"

Sighing, Will muttered miserably, "I guess I'm going to have to."

They bundled me up with more blankets. While I was awake, I was only barely so (Will occasionally jostled me to make sure of it). The demigods chattered quietly around me, but I couldn't focus on what they were saying. At some point in all this, I was moved from the cabin to the infirmary.

It wasn't until after several hours of this that they finally let me sleep.

- x - x -

- x - x- AUTHOR'S NOTES - x - x -

This chapter was so much fun to write. I hope yall enjoyed it just as much as I did!

Also, someone pointed out to me that Camp Half-Blood has a weather barrier, so storms like this actually wouldn't be possible... oops. :D Let's pretend that Leo was making some "modifications" to it and accidentally broke it a few months prior to this? (sorry, that's the best excuse I got)

As usual, please enjoy the following accompanying tidbit to the story. C:

- x - x -

- x - x - TIDBIT #2 - x - x -

Will awoke to the sensation of cold water dripping onto his face. Blinking, he slowly sat up. For a long moment, the son of Apollo wasn't sure where he was. His cabin was usually full of soft snores from his brothers. There was a blanket patterned with skeletons covering him; seeing the blanket jogged his memory. Oh right, Hades cabin. Nico's a cat. Will recalled as he yawned.

The bed creaked as Will rolled off and onto his feet. Water was dripping through the open windows. Still lethargic from his deep sleep, Will started closing the windows. It was as he closed the last one that it occurred to him to wonder where Nico was. When he'd fallen asleep, Nico (well, the cat version of Nico) had been curled up with him. Now, the cabin seemed to be empty except for Will. "Weird." He muttered aloud, scratching his head in confusion.

And so Will's quick five minute search through the Hades cabin began. While he didn't find Nico, he did discover a row of mythomagic figurines in a closet, an Mrs. Leary's oversized dog collar in the bathroom, and a shocking amount of McDonalds monopoly pieces underneath the beds. If Will hadn't been getting slowly more and more concerned, he would have been amused at what he'd found.

It was storming pretty hard outside. Biting the inside of his cheek, Will prayed to the gods that Nico wasn't trapped out in the rain. There was only one way to make sure, though.

Will got dressed quickly, borrowing a raincoat from Nico's closet, and headed out the front door. It was when he was closing the cabin door behind that he noticed the frantic scratches in the wood of the door. That's when Will started to panic.