Louise Belcher the Smart Mark Chapter 3: WWE Treatment of Sting
"Hello, all my loyal fans, me and my dad are here to talk about Sting," Louise said after she turned on the camera. "You see, Sting was the face of WCW, and the main line of defense against the NWO," Bob explained. "Aside from a few missteps towards the company's demise, Sting was booked relatively well, and was a multiple time WCW World Heavyweight Champion, US Champion, and tag team champion," Bob finished.
"After WCW went under, Sting dodged WWE due to the way they had treated past WCW talent, such as DDP. As a result, he went to TNA and amassed a pretty good career over there, his main career highlight being he leader of the Main Event Mafia. However, in 2014, it was revealed that Sting had signed with the WWE, and everyone was so excited. Me and my Dad here were personally ecstatic to hear that the face of WCW was now gong to be in the WWE," Louise said, but then sighed. "But, little did we know that he would suffer the same fate as DDP, by having a pathetic career in the WWE," Louise explained.
"Sting's first WWE appearance was at the 2014 Survivor Series PPV, more specifically during the main event of the evening; a traditional Survivor Series match between Team Cena (John Cena, The Big Show, Ryback, Dolph Ziggler, and Erick Rowan) vs. Team Authority (Seth Rollins, Luke Harper, Rusev, Kane, Mark Henry)," Louise's dad explained. "It was down to Seth Rollins and Dolph Ziggler, and Triple H stuck his massive nose in the match when he hit the Pedigree on Ziggler. Just as the pinfall was going to be given to the Authority, the lights went out, a crow sound echoed throughout the arena, and Sting showed up, with his signature baseball, face paint, everything!" Louise explained in an excited manner. "Then he went in and hit the Scorpion Death Drop on Triple H and helped Ziggler win the match against the Authority and put them out of power," Louise said with nostalgia in her voice.
"Then, we didn't see Sting for months, and in that time, the Authority got their jobs back and they fired Cena's team, with the exception of Big Show, who helped the Authority during the Survivor Series match. We never saw Sting until sting helped Rowan, Ziggler, and Ryback get their jobs back after being fired by helping Cena win a 3 on 1 handicap match on Raw," Bob explained. "After that, Triple H challenged Sting to a face to face confrontation at Fastlane, and it was…kind of boring" Louise said as she prepared herself to explain everything that was wrong with the confrontation.
"First, the music they gave to Sting was awful. I have no idea why they just didn't use his music from WCW, I mean, they have the rights to everything ever owned by WCW, right?" Bob asked Louise, who responded with a shrug. "The whole segment consisted of Triple H essentially mocking Sting and WCW, and Sting just staring at Triple H. When the fight happened, it was really underwhelming, and Triple H looked like an idiot with Sting putting the baseball bat under his chin like he was going to shoot him or something. So, the match was announced for Wrestlemania, so, how was the build up for this match? Uninteresting".
"It was pretty much just Triple H promos and Sting coming to the aid of Randy Orton and helping him fight off the Authority. It was pretty much like every other feud going on at the time," Bob explained. "Then came the match itself, which sucked ass. First off, Triple H's entrance was stupid, and made me laugh when I saw it. The first 10 minutes were a wrestling match, and then it just became a clusterfuck. DX and the NOW came into the match, and the NOW sided with Sting, for some reason. Hawn Michaels also came into the match and helped Triple H. After all that hype Sting…lost," Louise said with anger in her voice and on her face.
"Oh, Louise, I've got to open up the restaurant, let me know how it goes," Bob said as he ran out of the room. "OK. So yeah, Sting lost to Triple H after a shot in the face with a sledgehammer. WHAT THE FUCK! HOW DO YOU FUCK UP AND ENDING AND A MATCH THAT BADLY? Sting also looked like shit after the match, and for some reason, he and Triple H shook hands after that. T was weird and defeated the whole purpose of them fighting in the first place," Louise said.
"So, after beating up Bo Dallas on the Raw after Wrestlemania, he was never seen or even mentioned on TV. Which was bullshit," Louise said before trying to collect herself. "So, he was never seen until after Summerslam, where Seth Rollins was being given a statue for becoming the WWE and US champion at the same time. He replaced the statue, and beat up Seth Rollins, signaling that he wanted a shot at the WWE World Heavyweight Championship," Louise explained.
"The feud was actually very good. It was Sting's typical mind games, and we even got to see Sting fight Big Show and Seth Rollins, and he wins both matches, by DQ and Submission respectively. Seth also played his coward role very well. The match at Night of Champions was alright, but it made Sting look weak. Seth had already lost his US title to John Cena in a match that was better than the one with Sting. You know the worst part? STING…GOT…INJURED!" Louise said in an angry voice.
"I know Seth didn't injure Sting on purpose, BUT COME ON! THIS WAS ONLY STING'S 3RD OR 4TH MATCH, AND HE GETS PRETTY MUCH THE SAME SPINAL INJURY EDGE GOT!" Louise screamed before calming down. "Sting did get inducted into the Hall of Fame, so I guess that was a plus," Louise said.
"So, how was Sting's run in the WWE? Underwhelming. He was hyped like a motherfucker, and what did he do? He lost to Triple H, lost to Seth Rollins, got a career ending injury after a botched turnbuckle Powerbomb, and a bunch of other bullshit that made his career in the WWE more like a wet fart of the career of Sting. Hell in TNA, he was the leader of the Main Event Mafia, and defeated guys like Kurt Angle and Mick Foley," Louise said as she finished her final thoughts.
"Next time, we'll be talking about either the Katie Vick angle or the WWE's NOW".