Will didn't like mirrors. They made him look one-dimensional, limited to a pale washy exterior, when he knew that he had colors on the inside, worlds of beauty hidden in his imagination. But, for once, he stood before the big one, in the bathroom, looking at himself from head to toe. He looked OK. No crumpled shirt, no strange color association. He wouldn't stand out in the streets and that's what he was aiming at. Passing.
He went out the main door and heard two little birds in a tree. They were singing loudly, as if competing, out of tune with each other. Will wanted one of them to fly away and find another tree where it could be the only master, the only singer. But they kept on their vocal battle and he left them here.
Sonny had said to come around three. It was five to. Will was very punctual. Maybe it would bother Sonny. But if he came later, it might be too late and he would regret this. So, he entered the coffee-house just as his watch was showing three. Sonny was there, or so it seemed. There was a back bent, over apron-wearing legs and it was familiar. There was the sound of broken glass being scraped from the floor.
Sonny's voice came, filled with stress and anger
"Is nothing going to be working good today? Can't you be more focused?"
A young woman was running from one table to the other. She came back to the counter as Will was approaching and answered
- I'm sorry Sonny, I am. We're so short-staffed, today."
She saw Will and smiled, waving him to go sit. He gestured towards Sonny's still bent shape. She called him
- Sonny, there's someone to see you..."
Will waited as Sonny slowly got up, his back turned to him, grumbling
"What is it this time? If it's not important, they can wait?" With that he turned, facing Will who had his hand gripped on the coat. Sonny's face changed immediately to a shy smile, but Will put the coat on the counter and said
"Sorry to bother you. I won't...
- No, Will, I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." he said the last words to Will's retreating back. If he could have run outside, he would have.
Once back in the street, he walked fast, not caring where to, just making sure to leave the place far behind. He had presumed too much. People had lives, busy ones. He couldn't ask them to pause for him. He was glad he had given back the coat. He might not have to come back, ever. The map would remain a mystery and...
He stopped, dead in his track. The map was home, on his desk, along with the postcard. He took his head in his hands. How stupid... He had created a complex situation, out of nothing, sheer curiosity and lack of control. He turned back, then turned again, not knowing how to act, what to do. It was getting colder and none of the shops were open. He walked on, fighting the wind, hating his tears, hating his over-sensitive heart.
"Will!"
No, it wasn't real. He was putting words in the wind's howl.
"Will, wait! Please!"
But the wind was literate and knew many words. Will wanted to pretend he didn't hear anything. But he remembered hearing tiredness in Sonny's tone earlier. He slowed down, to a halt. The trick was to make the sweeping movement over his face natural. He wasn't crying that hard, Sonny may not notice.
"Will, I didn't know it was you. That's why I was crossed. I don't work today, and everything went wrong. And I saw the time pass and I knew I wouldn't be ready for you, and...
- But you don't have to. We can postpone. Or never do it. Your work comes first and you look exhausted. Don't mind me. It isn't important."
Sonny's eyes were open wide. He looked a little like the first time Will had seen him. Vulnerable. Not like a raven this time but like an eagle with a limp.
"It is important to me, Will. I want to spend time with you. Forget about my work for a while, forget what's dark in my life, do something fun for a change." Will smiled.
- You think baking is fun?" Sonny let out a sigh. He must have been running to catch Will.
- I do. And you're fun too." Will had a wry smile
- You're just trying to make me change my mind.
- Is it working?"
Will hesitated. He knew the danger of expecting too much, of being let down by others, like his father. But Sonny's expression was one of one in need and Will could go on with that. If people needed him, he had a place, a purpose. He offered a smile and saw Sonny's shoulder droop.
They walked back to the street where the coffee place stood but Sonny turned before the entrance in a little alley that led to the backyard. There were stairs, leading to a balcony. Sonny opened the door and showed Will in.
Because Sonny made the muffins at work, Will had assumed they would go to the professional kitchen to do this but Sonny had taken him to his apartment. It felt weird as if he was entering someone's head and he tried not to look around, focusing on Sonny's features, on the way his energetic steps made his body almost jump, as he opened his cupboards and started taking things out. He was still wearing his apron and handed another to Will. It was one of these funny ones, surely a gift. Maybe from his girlfriend.
Sonny started whistling and Will grimaced. Sonny looked like a bright bird but he couldn't carry a tune. He joined him, trying to subtly correct the melody and Sonny turned sparkling eyes to him. They both grinned. Sonny put the eggs and sugar on the table, then took a box that sent thin white powder everywhere.
The wheat was hard to fight against. It deposited its tiny particle everywhere it could and Will and Sonny were becoming snowmen fast. The white in Sonny's hair made him look older. Will chuckled and kept pouring it in the scale.
"Can't you see that's too much?
- No, not before I've read the scale." He chuckled again. Sonny had white on his cheek now.
- You could make muffins for twenty people with that."
Sonny caught the box and put some of the content back. He showed Will how to mix the baking powder, which looked almost the same, albeit whiter and more compact, then sat directly next to Will on the same chair. Will's body went through a series of short spasms that he had to control quickly and discreetly. He didn't like the proximity but Sonny had gotten hold of an egg and a container.
"I'm going to teach you something primordial to baking, so you better focus.
- I'll focus better if I have room to move my arms.
- Well, I need to help you through it. It will be faster that way."
He placed the egg in Will's hand.
"Careful" He whispered next to Will's ear.
The warning was unnecessary. Will's arm was petrified. Sonny slowly turned the egg
"You must press it only at the top, that's where it's the most solid. Between your fingers, like that.
- It won't break?
- No. It's only fragile in the middle. But when you break it, you have to be careful with the shell. If you leave some in the mix, the whole mix will be spoilt. This is a practice egg." The hair along Will's arm was standing. He swallowed with difficulty. Sonny went on
"The trick is to break it with one strong movement, but not too strong."
He caught Will's hand and demonstrated. The egg broke in half, the liquid pouring down the bowl. Sonny caught it and showed it to Will
"You see", he pointed "those are shell pieces. We can salvage them with a spoon."
Will was about to faint. Luckily, Sonny had to get up to fetch the spoon and didn't sit back. Will carefully took the offending shell out and waited. Sonny handed him a new egg and a new bowl. Will frowned
"You really need one bowl per egg?" Sonny laughed and Will felt light as a feather.
- No, you don't. But it's your first time, so I'm cautious. You're on your own for this one."
Will focused. The egg broke perfectly. He realized his tongue was sticking out and blushed. Sonny grinned and added the second egg's content to the first one. After a long set of manipulations, the butter came in and things started going awry. Their hands were sticky and the apron and shirt quite dirty. Will had managed to knocked down every single thing on the table with elbows he didn't know where to put. Sonny laughed so hard, he had to sit down. On another chair this time. Will pouted and mischievously ran his hand along Sonny's cheek. Sonny gave a start and looked at Will
"You have flour there. Buggers me seeing it.
- Well, now I'm covered with muffin mix, how is that better?
- Sorry..." Sonny shook his head and pointed to a closed door
- Go and tidy up in here. I'll use the kitchen sink."
Will went into the bathroom. The mirror greeted him with a very different sight than that morning. He was grateful for the apron, at least his jeans were still clean. It was difficult to really take everything out, so he concentrated on his hair and face, so as to look human again.
Sonny's head popped in
"I can lend you a shirt if you want." Will shrugged
- No, it's OK, thanks. Are we finished?
- Nope, time to use the oven now. But normally that's the clean part.
- What is that supposed to mean?" Sonny just chuckled and left. Will dried his hands and came back to the kitchen.
Will made efforts to earn Sonny's respect and managed not to stain anything or anyone for the last part. He smiled proudly as he looked through the oven window to the browning dish. Sonny was cleaning the table and held a hand in refusal when Will proposed his help.
So he sat on a chair and finally looked around. There were many things hanging on the walls. Photos, posters, drawings, all framed. Will wondered if Sonny's girlfriend had helped. Did she come here often?
He felt the spasms again and started being afraid. What was wrong with him. He moved on the couch and felt something under his butt. A cellphone vibrating. It said 'Crystal'.
His guts twisted in his belly. He had forgotten about the postcard. How could he confess to that? Would Sonny feel betrayed? He showed him the phone and Sonny went to take the call in his bedroom. It was weird to have put it on silence, but Will was too busy feeling guilty to try to know why.
He took his book from his own coat and sat to read a little more. There was a red feather to mark the page, one he had found in the garden while sweeping the leaves. He was taken out of his reading trance when he heard shouting. He took a few steps towards Sonny's bedroom, then changed his mind. He felt trapped. The muffins smell was permeating the room. He knelt before the oven to check them. They looked almost black and he panicked. He looked around frantically for mittens, cursing himself for having dare tried learning something. He should stick to school material.
He was taking the dish out just as Sonny reentered the room.
"What are you doing Will?" The tone was rash and Will looked down, ashamed.
- It looked all black. But now, it doesn't, I don't get it." Will put the dish on the kitchen counter, clumsily. Sonny frowned, took out the mittens from Will's hand, put them on and put the dish back in the oven.
- The window has a dark filter, that's why. You should have waited." Will gulped. Sonny sounded weary.
- I know, you're right, I'll just go..." He grabbed his coat. Sonny took a big breath.
- I'm sorry Will, I shouldn't have shouted. I know you've never done this and it's not a big deal if it's not perfect or even eatable at all. You haven't ruined all chances, anyway." He looked at Will with peace-searching eyes and added "You want some tea?"
Will agreed. They tried talking again, but there was a strain in the conversation and once he had emptied his mug, he said good-bye.
"You don't want to taste your batch?
- I'd rather not. They must be awful. But I'll try again at home. If I make progress, I'll bring you some." He saw Sonny smile widen.
- I'm glad to hear you say that.
- Say what?
- That you'll see me again."
Will wasn't used to people being happy to see him again, expect for his siblings. Even his mother never really showed it. He bit his upper lip, then the bottom one. A ding sound alerted them. Sonny retrieved the muffins from the oven and from the mold. There were eight of them, all looking tasty.
"Take them home, Will. Children aren't very diplomatic. You'll soon know how good they really are."
Will laughed and took the batch with him. Sonny followed him out and shook his hand. They exchanged a last look, then Will was gone.