Thanks to TerraBull for the name. Thanks are also due to Josh Sopchoppy, Temple, and Dragonlord for inspiration. Thanks to Questara and J. St.C. Patrick, for proofreading it for me.
Disclaimer: I own neither Xmen nor Ranma. These characters do not belong to me in any way, shape or form. But I sure wish I did.
Now, I never was the most trusting of people. Naive, yes. Irritating, yes. Ignorant, yes. But trusting? Not really. Pops taught me never to be too trusting. After all, if you had a father who would throw you into a pit of starving cats, would YOU be a trusting person? I don't think so. And with the way my time in Nerima ended, I was not left in a terribly trusting frame of mind. So when this White Queen lady offered us a place to stay, I only had one thing to say.
"Huh?"
Ah yes, the Saotome Verbal Technique showing its face again. Make yourself look stupid, and your opponent underestimates you. And they tell you more than they intended.
The White Queen looked irritated briefly, then explained. "Well, I am a mutant, just like you. Miss Nabiki Tendo sold me the information that your latent X-genes had activated, and advised me that you might be smuggling yourselves into the country. I took it upon myself to wait for you."
Shampoo went on the offensive. "But what you want with us? We is no saying we is mutants, but if we were- why you care?" We all underestimated that girl. Ever since she showed up in Nerima, hunting me down, everyone was convinced she was a ditz. No one, not even me, noticed that she went from no Japanese to pretty good Japanese in under a month. Or how she knew not to kill Akane when she gave her the kiss of death, since I would have gotten revenge for it. Shampoo is, in all honesty, one of the smartest people I ever met. Even here, I would probably have blurted out how surprised I was that she knew we were mutants, and if it was a trap, we would have been in big trouble.
"Well, I'm gathering a group of mutants, the most powerful I can find. And the three of you, with your powers and your Martial Arts abilities, may be some of the most powerful mutants out there." The white woman was looking around now, and speaking slightly quieter. I wondered if there was someone after her.
Ucchan spoke up. "Well, we better take this somewhere else. I don't wanna be on the run again." Right, I kept forgetting. If we said we were mutants, we'd probably have people coming over to beat us up, or worse. And I was not interested in having to beat them all up, and then have them say that we started it. That already happened once, as we were getting out of Tokyo.
Our possible benefactor nodded. "My car is around the corner. We can talk in privacy there." and strode off as if she expected us to follow without a question. Which we did. Partly because of trust, partly because we had no where else to go, but mostly because we were pretty confident that we could get out of any bad situation without much difficulty.
Her car was a long one, white, with a driver waiting. He was wearing a suit and sunglasses, and was standing next to the car, looking tough. As the White Queen approached, he opened a door for her. She ignored him, and stepped into the oversized car, gesturing at us to come in too. We stepped in, with the driver closing the door behind us, and then getting in him self. Our hostess called out to him in English. Shampoo translated for me. "She is saying, Jeeves, lets go to the hotel." I nodded, wondering if the hotel had something to eat. I was starved, though that isn't exactly unusual for me, but I hadn't had anything to eat today, and it was almost eleven in the morning!
Ms. Frost switched back to Japanese. "I take it you have noticed how badly mutants are treated, both here and in Japan?" She asked rhetorically. After all, if they were treated well, we wouldn't have spent all that time in a boat surrounded by horny foreigners. "Well, there are a few groups out there trying to do something about it. The most active are the X-men, Acolytes, Morlocks and the Brotherhood, all largely operating around the same city. The Acolytes are seldom found anywhere, but return to a certain city fairly regularly. The X-men and the Brotherhood live in the city, while the Morlocks dwell in its sewers. Now, while all of these groups are comprised entirely of mutants, they all approach the problem of mutant/human relations in different ways"
"How so?" asked Ucchan.
"Well, the Morlocks, they are all deformed in one way or another. There is one member with a hand the size of her head, and another person with armor plating and spikes. Anyone can tell that they are mutants, and no one will let them into shops. Mobs have formed behind them on the rare occasions they show themselves on the street. As a result, they live in the sewers, stealing from rubbish bins for food"
"Aiyah! That terrible! I is feeling too, too sorry for them"
"Yes, I feel the same way. The way they approach mutant/human relations is simple: they hide and hope no one tries to hunt them down. They are the weakest group of the lot.
The next group would be The Brotherhood. They are largely delinquents, doing what ever they please, since no one can stop them. They are feared among the people, though they seem to have done enough good for the community that no mobs form to hunt them.
The Brotherhood were once subservient to a woman named Mystique, and her boss Magneto. But due to the fact that Mystique disappeared so often, for so long, they now follow Magneto's son, Quicksilver. He's not much of a leader, but since his father said he's in charge, he is. They still do Magneto's bidding, but he doesn't give them many orders, partly because he doesn't want to overuse his control over them and lose their loyalty, but mostly because he knows how unreliable they are.
As for Magneto, he commands the Acolytes, some of the most dangerous of the lot. They are all adults, while the other groups are mainly people your age. Where the Brotherhood just want to do whatever they feel like, the Acolytes want to rule all of humanity, have all humans as slaves and mutants as the elite. They are in no way hesitant to endanger human lives, or end them."
"Sounds like Ryoga" I murmured.
"Indeed, they have similar philosophies, though Magneto is infinitely smarter.
The final group is the X-men, who believe in mutants and humans living together peacefully. They are the most restrained of the lot, and are famous for rushing off to combat mutants who are terrorizing others.
As a side note, whilst a group of X-men will fight, there are other people who live with the X-men, mutants also but younger. They have uniforms, and fight alongside the X-men occasionally. Technically, they are X-men too, but in practice they are called the New Mutants."
I mused on this. "So, X-men are the good guys, Acolytes are the bad guys, Brotherhood are a nuisance, and the Morlocks stay out of sight and don't do anything, right?"
Ms. Frost laughed. "Well, that's oversimplifying it a bit. Both the X-men and the Acolytes are doing what they think is right, so each of them would claim to be the 'good guys' but your definition is essentially correct"
Shampoo asked, "So where Hellfire Club in this?" Dam, I always forgot how smart she was. I'd forgotten about the group we were supposed to join. Must be starvation kicking in.
"The Hellfire Club is from England, originally, and are yet to come to join in the conflict. However, my philosophy is a shade of gray, compared to the black and white of the other groups. I feel that mutants will eventually comprise all the world population, given enough time, but that until then, someone has to buy mutants the freedom and prosperity they need. It will take centuries, but one day the last of humanity will have bred and mutated so that every one has an X-gene"
"X-gene?"
"The gene that separates humanity from mutants. So I try to keep anti-mutant laws from being passed, and safeguard mutants when I can. That's why I would like to invite you to join me, to help mutants everywhere. What do you say?"
"Uhhhhhh……" I said, whipping out the Saotome Verbal Technique. Before I could take it from setting 1(looking stupid) to setting 2 (insulting) Ucchan saved me.
"Isn't it a bit soon to decide, Ms. Frost?"
"Oh, call me Emma, please. Yes, you're totally right. I apologize, I had some stressful events take place recently, so I'm in a little bit of a rush to reform the Hellfire Club"
Before I could ask what happened to the old one, if it needed reforming, Shampoo spoke up. "Is we getting somewhere to eat, soon? Is not having eaten today"
My stomach contributed to that argument with a deep growl. I rubbed the back of my head sheepishly, while Shampoo and Ukyo just shook their heads. Emma grinned. "Well, the hotel has room service, and I took the liberty of getting us rooms each. Would you like to stay there for a couple of days? Obligation free, think of it as a gift. What do you say?"
"YES!" I yelled, my stomach telling me that I better say yes or else. Shampoo and Ukyo nodded their affirmative, though I got the feeling that I was gonna be in for it later.
Up in the Hotel (a really rich place, the sorta place Pop woulda loved to rob) Emma showed us our rooms. She had her own room, a private one I think she had reserved for her, while we had something that could've passed for a house. It had a lounge, a spa pool, three bedrooms, and a TV that must have cost more than Nabiki extorted from me the whole time I stayed with the Tendos. The driver of the car (Ukyo told me it was a Limo) must have related how hungry I was to the hotel staff, because not five minutes after we arrived in the room, room service appeared with a cart full of food. They politely took the food off, and put it on the table, acting like waiters. And that was me entertained for about a minute and a half, gorging myself. The waiters just gawked at me, since I started before they left, and were flabbergasted when I finished the whole lot myself.
"Another three of the same, thanks" I called out. "Oh yeah, do you want anything?" I asked Ucchan and Shamps. They sighed, and nodded. I yelled out "make that four". The waiters were in a state of shock, one of them walking into the doorframe on the way out. I had to laugh at that one.
Sometime later, after even I had eaten enough to be full, the three of us were lounging on the couch, watching some TV show, something called "The Nanny". I was in the middle, being sandwiched by two girls snuggling up to me. It was a nice change to be able to enjoy it, but there were important things to talk about.
"What do you guys think of that offer?" I asked, knowing that they would know what I meant. Beside me, I felt Shampoo stir.
"Is sounding good to me, but Snow Lady is no telling us all"
"Yeah, sugar, I'm a little suspicious. I think she's on the level, but there are a couple of things that bug me. What happened to her old group, that means she needs to 'reform' instead of recrute. Did they get killed, or leave her, or what? And if she's a real mutant, what's her power?"
This sounded reasonable. "You could just ask. Hey! Shamps, maybe she knows someone who could help you learn your power!"
My Amazon wife snorted. "Is knowing how to use power anyway. No need help!" Well, I'm not the only one who has the confidence to pull off a Moko Takabishia, after all. Just the only one with the skill.
Ucchan had to laugh at that one. "Sure, honey, you really meant to fall into that guys bedroom that night, when he was naked, but not get out again" Shampoo blushed.
"And if you really meant to read that guys mind when he saw you, you must be a bigger pervert than I thought. Though being able to make him think you were never there was pretty useful," I teased gently. Shampoo blushed again.
A knocking on the door distracted us. "Who is it?" Shampoo yelled in English. A nervous voice answered.
"A delivery from Ms. Frost" he called back. I sighed, then got up and went to the door. The delivery guy handed me a bunch of folders, and left. I wandered back to the couch, and passed a folder to each of my roommates, keeping one for myself. The folder I had seemed to be a roster of the X-men. Powers, name, place of birth, costume, code name. What the hell? Why would they want a costume and a code name? I nudged Ucchan and pointed this out.
"Well, they don't want everyone recognizing them, do they? If everyone knew that a mutant named Cyclops was a boy named Scott Summers, everyone would treat Scott like crap, and every time the X-men fought the Brotherhood, the bill collectors would come knocking"
I frowned. "So we need costumes and codenames too?"
Shampoo laughed. "Silly Arien, of course we is needing them. Call Shampoo the great Cat-Woman!"
I shivered while Ukyo laughed. Damn Neko-ken. I bet she reminded me on purpose of cats. A vindictive idea occurred to me. "I got a better idea. Let's call you Psylocke! Psy for the English word psychic, since you can (sometimes) read minds, and Locke, for the guy you used your powers to peep on!"
The Amazon objected, "Is no peeping! Is not peeping on anyone but Arien and Ukyo!"
"Sure, sugar, sure. We believe you."
"Hey Ucchan, I believe her!"
"Thanks, Arien!" she was all smiles.
"She groped him, while nude. Ah, that guy was so lucky. Having a naked girl fall out of nowhere right into his lap. Mouse would give his glasses for that chance!" I couldn't help myself. Finally, after so many years, now I could tease someone like Nabiki did to me!
Shampoo blanched. "How you know? Er, Shampoo mean, that not true!" The shock on Ukyo's face mirrored my own. I mean, I just made it up. What the hell?
"What actually happened?" Ucchan went for the truth like a C...C…C… one of those things went for a mouse.
My Chinese wife blushed. "Uh, is snuggling with you two, then is falling out of bed, and disappearing into the floor….." she started off.
I elbowed her in the side. "We know this part! What happened next?"
"……..is falling out of ceiling, onto another bed. Is naked man sitting on bed, playing with his……… not know word."
"That's probably a good thing, sugar."
"Is falling on top of man. Man is waving his arms in the air. Shampoo think he fight, fight back. But no get right leverage, is in wrong place. So is…….touching…… things….. Shampoo no want to. Is falling back off the bed, and is falling through the floor again."
I finished the story for her. "And you fell through the ceiling back in our room, having been gone for ten seconds, and I said 'Where did you go? Peeping on the crew?'"
Ucchan cracked up laughing. "And you said 'How you know? You follow?'" I joined her in laughing, falling of the couch.
The Amazon decided to make a deal. "Fine. Am Psylocke. But you is never mentioning that ever again!"
"Fine." "Fine."
"And you is letting me make own costume. Tight, small, and blue."
"Fine." "Fine!" Shampoo in an outfit even tighter and smaller than normal? Yes!
"And you is letting me take you to bed and show you who is true pervert!"
"Fine." "Fi… huh?" Shampoo scooped me of the floor, and slung me over her shoulder like a sack of rice, Ucchan following us to one of the bedrooms. Well, as Mom said once- Engaged couples can do whatever they want, right?