kurt: Hi frenemy.
dave: ?
kurt: Just checking in on your homicidal tendencies.
dave: football practice
kurt: How did that go?
dave: split lip - other guys look worse tho
kurt: Guys, plural? They give you any trouble in the locker room?
dave: you gonna come strip again?
kurt: You should be so lucky...
dave: lockers ok - finn and surfer dude hover - your doing?
kurt: No. Finn's dim but essentially decent. Sam must just think you're cute.
dave: har
kurt: Hi frenemy.
dave: hi - this a regular thing now?
kurt: Standing date.
…
kurt: Kidding. Do anything interesting today?
dave: tried to stay out of trouble
kurt: Mercedes said she didn't see you all day
dave: just keeping a low profile
kurt: ?
dave: beast's letting me use her office
kurt: Sweet. Anything interesting in there?
dave: privacy
kurt: I heard your locker got defaced today.
dave: hi 2 u 2 - just spray paint - inside is ok
kurt: Still...
dave: it really sucks
kurt: I know.
dave: i know u know - i'm really really sorry
kurt: Wow. Really?
dave: i am sorry i was a fckg asshole to you - that really enough 4 u?
kurt: Yes.
dave: nite kurt
kurt: Goodnight, Dave.
kurt: So, your locker cleaned up yet?
…
kurt: You there?
…
kurt: Ok. Call if you need to.
kurt: Hi Dave - you there?
…
kurt: Ok. Maybe you're tired of talking about yourself.
…
kurt: Right. My turn. So I got busted again for dress code violation. Yesterday it was this vintage stick pin in my tie. Today they figured out I tailored my jacket.
…
kurt: So I can hear you now, all 'dress code? Whatever happened to I'm proud to be different?' Well, let me tell you, it chafes. Not literally, now that the jacket fits properly, but you know. You know what I mean.
…
kurt: I'm officially getting worried here. Call me.
"Argh!" Kurt threw himself on one of the leather chesterfields as the last of the Warblers filed out of the room. Tonight's practice had been a horrible end to a horrible week. "What a jerk!"
"Come on," said Blaine, sitting next to him. "You know Wes isn't homophobic. He's just … square."
"He told me to stop prancing!"
"Don't you think you might be blowing this out of proportion? I know you've been stressed this week about Dave..."
"I was not prancing! That's just the way I move. Nobody asks David to stop doing the roly-poly with his hands. And he didn't tell Jer to stop grabbing his crotch when he thumpa-thumpa's the baseline."
Blaine sighed, unsure how to handle Kurt's snit. "Just try to act a little more..."
"Straight?"
"No! Just …" he struggled for the right word, "discreet."
Kurt considered his friend. Blaine looked worried. But gorgeous. Kind. Compassionate. He really believed what he was saying. It was disappointing.
"People shouldn't have to ACT anything, Blaine," Kurt insisted quietly. "They should be free to just BE." He swiveled to sit on the coffee table opposite his friend. "Do you realize you act like two completely different people?"
Blaine's eyebrows twitched.
"With every else you're always suave, formal, supercool... And you're all of that with me too." He reached out and gave Blaine's hands a reassuring squeeze. "But you're also flirty, a bit of a gossip, totally goofy. TOTALLY goofy. I mean, look at us. Young, gay, gorgeous. We should be on top of the world. Instead, you're bipolar, I feel like I'm in disguise half the time and Dave's just trying to disappear. He tries much harder, and I'm afraid he's going to succeed. It's not right."
Blaine nodded heavily. They sat quietly, looking at their clasped hands until Kurt felt all the worries, frustrations and disappointments of the past weeks coalesce, finally, into a sense of resolve.
"I'm going back," he said.
"What?"
"I'm going back. Dave isn't going to be a problem anymore, and I miss my friends ... my WARDROBE. I miss being ME. I need to take back my life. I need to take back the SCHOOL."
Barely able to speak past the lump in his throat, Blaine asked, "How are you going to do that?"
"Watch and learn." Kurt stood abruptly, whipped out his phone and punched away decisively. "Mercedes? Listen up. The bitch is coming back. So rally the troops: I'm going to need some help."
The Triumphant Return of Kurt Elizabeth Hummel was now officially underway.