A Sad and Humorous Tale of "Fuck My Life"
by Boyd
I've been going out with Mist for almost a year now. The only reason Ike hasn't murdered me yet is he thinks she's still a virgin. When he finds out I've been making a women out of her for the past three months, we're going to have problems.
Seemingly unrelated, Ike and Ranulf have been running a rehabilitation center for feral laguz out of our fort. At any given time we've got half a dozen of the mindless beasts stalking about our property, eating our garbage, and sharpening their claws on our furniture. The main hall is unusable now; they've completely thrashed the place. Oh well, at least we've got something to keep Ike busy. Makes it all the more likely he won't notice I'm drilling his sister. Good for us, right? Apparently not; the other day Titania called us out on our shenanigans and we had to have "the talk" with Ike.
Awkward…
We had no fucking idea how they found out until we got back to Mist's room. There, right outside her door, we found a furball, a puddle of vomit, and a used love-glove.
I got caught fucking my best friend's sister because a feral cat went digging through her thrash, ate one of my used condoms, and threw up in the hallway. Fuck my life.