Title: Under the Rain Rating: PG-13 (I would say higher due to some of the snogging scenes, but I don't think it is R material.) WARNING: Slash story. If you don't like it, PLEASE... read it anyway (weren't expecting that, were you?)! If you don't like, flame me all you want! It really is quite an honour to be able to stir such emotion in someone that they would take the time to tell me that they hated my story or loved it, either way. Disclaimer: The ideas are TOTALLY MINE! The characters and setting names are NOT! They belong to J.K. Rowling. BTW, "Evans" is Lily Evans... ya know? Harry's mum? Pairings: James/Sirius, Remus/Sirius, implied & one sided Lily/James Scene switches

Chapter three: Can't Help Loving You

Day Three...

Sirius woke up that morning feeling miserable. 'Imagine that,' he thought. 'Most people who cheat on their boyfriend of nearly four years would. Almost four years... four years in only one more day...'

One day? Their anniversary was in only one day?!

At the realization, Sirius pressed his lips to the unconscious Gryffindor's closed eyes, causing them to flutter open. "Good morning, sleepy head!" "Good morning... Sirius... we need to talk, don't we?" "A-about last night?" he asked, his voice shaking. "Yes. Are you okay, love?" "I guess so... I just... I don't know. James, I am sorry. I'm so sorry, my love," Sirius said, beginning to cry once more. James took him in his arms and let him cry. "What's wrong, love?" he asked, knowing fully what was hurting him so. "I just don't want to hurt you." "You know that you can always tell me anything. Sirius, no matter what, I'll always love you." "No matter what?" he asked in disbelief. "No matter what. Do you realize what power over me that is? You could do anything and I would still love you just as much as I do right now."
"Oh, James, I'm sorry. I just can't hurt you like that."
James sat with Lily Evans in the Prefect lounge, his head in her lap. She ran her fingers through his deep brown hair, attempting to comfort him.

"Lily... What did I do wrong?" James asked her.
"What do you mean?"
"It's Sirius. First he can barely say that he loves me, then he is out snogging Remus and now he won't even talk to me because he 'doesn't want to hurt me.' I'm serious, Lily... he doesn't love me," James said, tears flowing down his cheeks. He put his hands to his face, sobs escaping his lips.
"Oh, darling, I'm so sorry. I am sure you've heard that so much... I... I don't even know what to say."
"Can I just stay here with you for awhile? ...I need to talk to someone. Damn it! I can't help loving him... why?"
"Oh, sweetie, I don't know... What are you going to do tomorrow, James?"
"It's our anniversary."
"I know. So... what are you going to do? You can't very well talk to the bloody git, now can you? Not tomorrow."
"Don't call him that. And yes... yes I can," he said, an idea forming in his head. "Do you remember that I wanted to ask him to marry me?"
"...Yes..."
"Well..."
"Remus!" Sirius called, running over the grounds. He caught sight of the wizard sitting near the lake. His ears perked up and spirits soared at the familiar voice.
"Sirius!" Remus cried out, his face glowing. Maybe Sirius changed his mind!
Sirius felt his heart lurch. How could he do this? The unspeakable guilt welling up inside him was too much to bear. All thinking completely cast away, Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius and kissed him. The strange fireworks went off in his heart as a surge of electricity shot through them both through their lips. He almost just gave in to the temptation to return the kiss, but then an image of James crept through his mind.
'No. This is not right! I love James!' he thought, pulling away quickly. "Remus, no."
"Why not?"
Arms still surrounding him, and pushing aside his feelings welling up, Sirius said, "We need to talk."
"About what...?" he asked, his tone ever increasing in it's melancholy as he dropped his arms from Sirius's side and sat back down on the rock.
"Look, Remus... I do love you, just not the way you want me to. I know how you feel to want something that you can't have. I will admit that I feel more than a normal friend would for you, but I don't love you in a romantic way. You have to understand, I am in love with James. He's right; we probably will spend the rest of our lives together. That will never change. I should have never allowed you to kiss me. My feelings toward you have been forever changed, but this can never happen again."
Sirius finished, stifling a sob. This killed him to see one of his best friends so sad. Tearing his feelings for Remus apart would be equally difficult. But he could do it for James.
"I'm sorry..." he said, having no choice but to leave Remus there, crying his heart out.
"Wait!"
"..." He stopped, but didn't turn.
"I know that you love him and I respect that, but if anything ever changes, please come to me."
Sirius turned and gave him a sad smile, saying, "You'll be the first I call."
"And one more thing..."
"Yes?"
"I promise, I'll be the first one to clap at your wedding."
Sirius felt a hot tear fall down his cheek as he turned and started back towards the castle.
"Thank you, Remus... thank you," he whispered inaudible to Remus.

Later that night, in the Gryffindor dormitories, Sirius and James sat by the fire, limbs intertwined, both half asleep with tears running down each of their faces.
"You know that I'll always love you, right?"
Sirius smiled softly, a gash of sadness still prevalent behind his eyes. "Thank you, James..."
Tears still running down both of their faces, they shared a kiss. It wouldn't be the most passionate or the most meaningful, but they felt something in that kiss that changed something inside of them forever. Something that would last a lifetime.
And James knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what he would do the following day.

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