Faltered Chapter 3

Jim had watched their wounds close up physically and mentally. John changed from a loving father to an aloof authority figure. Dean changed from a sweet happy child, to a laconic scared young boy who was constantly in pain. When Sam was a year old John had found his family a new home far outside of town. Jim had done everything he could to try and keep John from taking the boys that far but in the end they'd gone. Jim visited them every chance he could over the next year.

At first his weekly trips out to the Winchesters were always the same. He always found John doing something: working on the garden or in the barn. The boys were never far from him; Dean was always looking after Sam.

A number of times on these early visits Jim had tried to convince John to send Dean who was now five into town to start school, but John had always refused. Dean still didn't speak. John didn't see the need benfit of paying for a mute boy to go to school. John decided to teach Dean himself.

Jim relented and asked if he could at least teach the boy about God and the Bible. John had agreed and it was decided that Jim would come to the Winchester Farm every other Wednesday to teach Dean and then Sam when he was older.

One particular Wednesday when he got to the farm he heard John's raised voice as he got down from his Horse.

"Dammit Dean walk right..." Jim had heard John say that before. John had been yelling at Dean to walk without a limp for months but try as the little boy might he just couldn't manage it. Jim sadly thought the limp was a probably a result of John stubbornly making Dean walk on his injured leg before it had healed.

John's voice got loud again. "How are you suppose to be any help to me if you can't walk right?..."

Jim got his books out of his saddle bags.

"How are you suppose to protect Sammy?..." That was new Jim had never heard John say that. Protect Sam from what he wondered.

After the Dean's lesson was finished and the boys were put to bed Jim sat down with John.

"How is everything John?" The Pastor asked the dark haired man who was gripping a tin cup and staring at the black coffee getting cold in it. He looked tired and frustrated. Jim couldn't help but notice that there seemed to be quite a lot of knives laid around and a new gun over the fireplace.

"John I heard that you've been to see Missouri Mosley." Jim said. John sunk deeper into his coffee cup, ashamed that the Pastor knew he'd been to see the clairvoyant.

"I did pastor and I learned the truth." John said lowly. "It wasn't an accident, something killed my Mary."

Pastor Jim nodded he had a feeling that John was going to say something like that. "Do you know what?"

John looked up from his coffee, not quite understanding what the pastor was asking. "What do you mean, what?"

"I mean was it something demonic? Other worldly?" Jim spoke in a hushed tone not wanting the young boys to hear.

"Missouri says it was evil." John explained cautiously. "I've been doing some research, asking around. There, well there's evil out there Pastor."

"I know John, I know there is. I just didn't know it had come to our little town." Jim turned to face John and look him in the eyes. John watched as the Pastor's eyes got dark and cold. "I've met these dark things before, There are others out there John who know of these things. If you're interested you should go and talk to Bobby Singer in town. He knows a lot about hunting."

"Hunting?"

"There are some out there John who don't wait for the supernatural to come to them, they go out looking for it."

"What do they do hunt it and kill it?"

"And often save lives in the process. It's a noble but thankless profession John. One that should not be taken on lightly." Jim noticed the interest in John's expression and back track a bit. "One that does not lend itself well to raising a family. John I would suggest that for your boy's sake, do not left this take over your life. There have been men who have gone mad hunting." Jim paused again. "John I do not mean to pry but it is my belief that the best thing for you and your family would be for you to grieve properly and then move on with your life. John everyone has lost someone but you have two wonderful young boys who need you to be strong for them."

John was conflicted and it was eating him up. He knew in his head that he needed to focus on his sons and their wellbeing. But every time he looked at them his heart ached as he saw Mary's face and his gut did summersaults as he remembered his wife pinned to the ceiling of their home as it burned. He wanted to grieve and feel normal again but he couldn't. Not til he killed what killed his Mary

"What can I do for you Mr. Winchester?" Bobby Singer greeted the other man and his two boys as they came through his shop door.

"Pastor Jim said I might come speak with you." John held a baby in his arms and had another little boy on his coat tails.

Bobby eyed the other man. "Sure we can talk."

Bobby's eyes shifted from John to the young children and back to John who took the hint.

"Dean, take Sammy and go sit out on the step." John handed the baby to the little boy. Dean held the baby tight and looked up at his father with big green eyes.

"Go now." John said gruffly. The boy turned and went outside to sit on the step. He didn't say a word, his expression stayed blank.

Once the children were out of earshot John turned to Bobby. "What can you tell me about the Supernatural?"

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"I have to know. Something killed my wife..."

"I'm all for killing evil Mr. Winchester but you know what they say about revenge."

"I don't care. You can help me or I can find someone else." John was quiet for a moment sizing the man in front of him up.

"Alright what do you want to know?" Bobby led John back thru his shop to a door that was locked. Taking the key from his jacket pocket he unlocked the heavy door and reviled a dark room stacked with piles and piles of books. He took a match and lit the lamp that sat on a table by the door.

"Legends and lore from the four corners the globe Mr. Winchester." John's lips cracked into a small devilish smile. "What exactly are you looking for Mr. Winchester?"

"It's John and I'll know it when I see it."

Dean sat on the steps outside and cradled Sammy in his arms. It was awkward; Sammy was getting too big for Dean to hold. But Dean didn't want to admit that. They sat on the steps alone as the sun rose and it got hot outside. Dean didn't know how long they were going to have to sit there but he was going to do as he was told. He wouldn't move from the spot.

Sammy started wriggling in his arms and Dean rocked the baby gently up and down as best he could. Sammy appreciated the effort and gave Dean a big toothless grin. Dean loved it when Sammy smiled it made him almost feel like smiling too but then something inside him something he couldn't explain and didn't understand made him not want to smile because he wasn't supposed to be happy he was just suppose to watch Sammy.

Dean watched the men ride by on their horses and he liked horses. His Poppa had a kindly old black horse that pulled their cart. They didn't ride the horse. Dean wondered what it would be like to get up in the saddle of a tall horse like the man in town rode. He'd have to get some help to get up but once he was he bet it would feel like freedom. He bet you didn't have to worry when you were on a horse.

Dean held onto Sammy a little tighter as a couple ladies pasted behind him on the board walk. He heard them talk as they walked away he heard his father's name and then his mothers and he felt sad. The woman disappeared into a doorway and Dean was alone with a two year old Sammy still in his arms.

Tcb….