Chapter 2
Christian
"So are you ready for your big party tomorrow?" I can't help the smirk on my face when John's eyes slowly meet mine. Casually I lean back in my chair while he slowly chews on his food.
"Do you need to talk about it, John? How does that make you feel? Are you ready to embrace the fact that you will be turning fifty tomorrow?"
"I didn't know the tables had turned" He deadpans.
"They haven't, but then again, you aren't my psychiatrist anymore, John. We're friends" He nods his head slowly and places his fork at the table. When he still doesn't reply, I add one more jab.
"But I guess that 50 is the new 30, right?"
He slowly shakes his head. "Christian, Christian," He says mockingly. "I wouldn't want to be 30 again if you paid me." I raise my eyebrows, surprised by his admission.
"Sure, I had more energy then, and I could still eat what I wanted without gaining weight. But in my 30's, I was raising 2 kids and I had just opened my practice. Life was hectic. The pleasure was a good night's sleep or hiring a babysitter so that Rhian and I could watch TV or engage in other activities without being disturbed."
I nod my head, realizing he is right about how your focus and priorities change the moment you have kids. Not that I regret ever having adopted my precious girl, but "pleasure" now is definitely different, then pleasure 3 years ago.
"You are still coming, right?"
"Yes, I am. Fee is staying with my parents and Mia."
"How is she?"
"Wonderful," I say smiling. "The other day she mentioned her 'mommy' for the first time" Sadness clenches at my chest when I recall that conversation.
"What happened?"
"I took her to the park and there were other kids playing there with their mommy's. One of the kid's mother was pregnant and that little girl told Fee that her little brother was growing inside her mommy's belly."
"I see. And what did you do?"
"Nothing at first because she didn't ask. But then she started drawing pictures of me, herself and a woman. However, she never draws the woman's face" I clear my throat and take a deep breath. "She asked me if she grew in my tummy."
John chuckles but immediately turns serious again.
"How did you handle that?"
"I told her the truth. I said she grew inside her birthmother's belly and that she then came to live with me. That I adopted her." I brush my hands through my hair. "She seemed happy with that answer and she hasn't brought it up again."
"You did good, Christian. Phoebe is only 3 years old. Even though you used the word 'adoption' she doesn't really know what that means. But you can be sure at one point that she will want to learn more. When she gets older and she asks about her adoption, be honest. Even though if you know that the truth might confuse or hurt her. Just don't lie to her."
"But what do I tell her? I mean, I can't possibly tell her that her mother didn't want to be bothered by her, do I?" I clench my fists and grit my teeth.
"No, you simply tell her that she was given up for adoption because her biological mother was unable to take care of a baby at that time. But tell her that her adoption is permanent and that she doesn't have to worry you will give her up someday. She doesn't need the details of how you came to adopt her."
My mind drifts back to the day I found her and I feel my anger coursing through my veins. How will I ever be able to tell her that her mother just left her? Abandoned her.
He stares at me for a long time. "Don't compare Fee to yourself, Christian. You still have memories of your birth mother. Your daughter was a baby. Barely a few hours old."
"Yes, but you know as well as I do that at a certain point she is going to start asking herself questions. She will feel different. Maybe she'll even feel unloved. Mia and Elliot went through that same phase, and they never knew their biological parents. They were babies when my parents adopted them."
"You will deal with that when the time comes. Just like your parents did, Christian."
"Is there anything else on your mind?" He asks smugly.
"I met someone at the Maldives and I can't seem to get her out of my head, John" His eyebrows shoot up to his receding hairline and he sits straighter in his chair.
"A woman?"
I roll my eyes and flip him the bird. "Of course a woman, John."
"Tell me about her"
"When I first met her I made a complete and utter fool out of myself. Anyway, she is beautiful. But there is something about her like she is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. There is this sadness edged into those beautiful eyes…" I gaze down at the linen tablecloth and think back at the few times she smiled. Sure there were a few smiles, but it was like it never really reached her eyes. And when it did, it only lasted a few seconds.
"To make a long story short, we ended having sex in her bungalow and I have never experienced sex like that in my life, John. But when I woke up a few hours later, she was already gone. And the only things she left me was a shitty note."
"What did the note say?"
Without thinking about it I pull the crumpled note out of my wallet and give it to him.
"Interesting," He says and hands me back the note.
"Interesting? Is that the only thing you have to say about this? You are supposed to be my friend, John"
"What do you want me to say, Christian. You've made it very clear that you don't want a relationship. You don't easily trust people, and after what Jessica did, you don't trust women in general."
"Well, it's clear that Jessica used me for her career and my money, John. And that's what I am to most women. A pretty face with a huge bank account"
"You used her too" He shrugs.
"That's different," I say raising my voice.
"Is that so, Christian? You were in a relationship with her for what, one year? You never allowed her to move in with you, you never asked her to marry you. You wanted to use her to create a family. You even admitted to me that you cared for her, but you never said you loved her."
"That's not the point here…"
"That's exactly the point," He says cutting me off. "You both entered that relationship with your own agenda, and I am sorry to tell you, but you came out as the loser in this one."
"I don't want to talk about Jessica."
"Right, we were discussing this mysterious girl at The Maldives," He says thoughtfully. "Can I assume you have confused feelings about this woman?"
"I don't have any fucking feelings, John. I am mad at her. Why the fuck did she leave like that? She even told me that she was going to stay for a few more days on that island."
His phone buzzes against the table. "That's my cue to get going. I have an appointment in fifteen minutes, and I don't want to leave my patient waiting." He grabs his wallet and throws some money on the table. "Let's discuss this next week on our lunch meeting" I nod my head.
"One more question, you never told me how this mysterious woman looked like"
"Long curly brown hair, big blue eyes and petit." I see his eyes widening slightly and then he quickly clears his throat.
"Who knows Christian, maybe you will see her sooner than you think" He winks at me and saunters away. What the hell is that supposed to mean?
"See you tomorrow, Grey"
"Congratulations, John" I shake my best friends hand and look around his living room that's filled with people. "How does this make you feel? It is a pretty momentous occasion, I mean you just turned half a century old after all." I smirk when he squeezes my hand a little too hard and then I casually slap his shoulder. "Right, I forgot, you are embracing the fact that you turned fifty"
He mutters something under his breath but it falls away as my eyes are drawn to the other side of the room. It's her! She has her back turned to me and she is talking to Rhian. And even though I can only see her back, I am sure it's her. I will never forget that ass or that hair. She is wearing a short yet simple red dress, paired with a beautiful pair of Louboutin's which makes her legs seem to go on forever.
"What the fuck, John," I ask slowly pulling my gaze from the beautiful brunette.
"Yes, about that. I need to introduce you to someone." He scratches his beard and stares at me sheepishly.
"You knew?"
"No, I suspected when you told me how she looked like." He says looking guilty. "One thing, Christian," He says stopping me. "Don't be your asshole self"
I turn around on my heels and face him. "Forget the introductions, John. I will go meet her myself"
"Christian…" He says in that warning tone.
I don't bother in replying, I just start walking towards the woman who has haunted my dreams for the last month.
Rhian notices me walking towards them and I see her placing her arm on the woman's arm to briefly break off their conversation.
"Christian, it's so lovely you could come" I hear a gasp coming from the woman's mouth, but I ignore her at first and make idle chit-chat with Rhian. I take my time talking to Rhian and completely ignore her. I can feel her, though and I want nothing more than to look into those beautiful eyes again, and at this point, I don't know who I am punishing more, her by ignoring her, or myself.
A waiter approaches Rhian and whispers something into her ear. "I am sorry, Christian, but they need me in the kitchen."
"Of course"
"We'll catch up later!" Rhian gives me her signature smile and walks away.
"So we meet again," I say when I slowly turn around. She is wearing her hair down, her curls framing her perfect face. She looks absolutely breathtaking. Her lips are painted in a blood red and when her tongue darts out to wet them, I can't help but stare.
"We do," She says coolly.
"Christian Grey," I say extending my hand. She looks at my hand for a few seconds and then hesitantly glides her petite hand in mine. And there it is again, that fucking current. Her brows furrow slightly, but she recovers quickly and before I know it that impassive mask has returned on her face. There is no giggle this time and somehow that pisses me off.
"I know who you are." She says confidently.
She knows who I am? How long did she know? "I think you have me at a disadvantage then" I cock my head to the side waiting for her to tell me her name.
She shocks the hell out of me by turning around. She starts to walk away, heading to the makeshift bar.
"A Martini please," She asks the waiter. The young waiter almost does a double take when he takes a good look at her. I see him visibly swallow and his eyes land on her breasts. I will deal with him later.
"Why did you leave?" I ask her walking to where she is standing. I am standing so close to her that I can feel the heat emanating from her body.
"I don't recall promising you my everlasting love," She says looking straight ahead. "I mean, I don't need to educate you on casual sex, right?" What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
I want to speak, but she cuts me off with a little wave of her hand.
"Look, it was a mistake. I had too much to drink." She shrugs and that casual lift of her shoulders pisses me off.
"So that's the kind of woman you are, I suppose?"
"You don't know anything about me," She says now turning on her heels, her blue eyes blazing with anger.
"What is it? Did your enormous ego take a hit because I didn't fall on my knees and begged you for your love?"
"I guess I thought you were different, that's all," I say exposing more of my vulnerability than I actually want.
"Your comment just confirmed what I said, you don't know me" Her anger seems to dissipate for a moment, but it is so brief that it takes only seconds before she squares her shoulders and tilts her chin and meets my gaze head on. "A simple thank you would be enough," She says "In the end, I did you a huge favor, you know no awkward morning after and all"
"You can act like this all you want" I lean closer to her, my lips brushing against her hair. I feel her breath catching in her throat and when she takes a step back, I quickly take a step forward and place both of my hands on the bar. "You can act cold, indifferent and like it didn't mean anything to you, but I know better. Do you know how I know?" I don't wait for her answer. "Because your body says differently"
"You don't know me" Her voice isn't nearly as cold as it was a minute ago, and it is merely a whisper.
"You can deny it all you want, but I have it figured out," I say as casually as possible. I brush my finger against her cheek and take a step back. With a little nod of my head, I turn around and start walking away. What the hell did just happened? Why is she acting like that?
I see John standing at the other side of the living room talking to a group of people. I greet them and immediately turn my face to John. "A word, please" I whisper into John's ear.
"Excuse me" John gives the group a polite smile and raises his eyebrow when he looks back at me. "My office and I only have five minutes, Christian" Whatever. I follow him into his office and the moment the door is closed I pounce.
"What the fuck is her problem and who the hell is she?"
"What have you done?"
"Me?" I say angrily pushing my index finger against my chest. "It was her! She has a fucking attitude and she is a cold bitch!"
"Watch your mouth, Christian. She is as much a friend of ours as you are, and as long as you are in my home I expect you to respect her" He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, probably using some stupid technique to calm down.
"Why are you so angry with her?" He says in a much calmer tone.
"She fucking dismissed me, John. She didn't even give me a chance to talk to her. She didn't even tell me her name."
"You like her," He says squinting his eyes. I roll my eyes and throw my arms in the air.
"John, grow the fuck up."
"No, no, I missed it yesterday when you first told me about this mysterious woman, but I think she made such an enormous impression on you, that you really, really like her."
"That's ridiculous" I mutter looking at my shoes.
"Right. So this is what I think happened. You met her a month ago at the Maldives, you were intimate and she somehow managed to make a little dent in that carefully guarded heart of yours. She leaves you with a shitty note," He raises his finger in the air and cocks his head to the side. "Your words not mine. Then your ego gets a big blow, because who in god's name blows off the big Christian Grey? You were angry and decided to forget her, but then you returned back to Seattle and it seemed that she was harder to forget then you originally thought. I want to bet my practice that you returned back to that bungalow or contacted the owner and you probably threatened him when he refused to give you her name." Well shit. I actually send Taylor over to the bungalow, but at this point, I don't think he needs to know all the details.
"You probably called Welch to find out who she was, but there wasn't a lot to find out was there? Because you really didn't know anything about her."
"Something like that…yes" I say clearing my throat.
"You even kept that note she left you and you still carry it with you in your wallet."
"What's your fucking point, John?" I say through gritted teeth.
"I'm not there yet Christian…but first" he says raising his finger at me. "Let me ask you this question. If you were so angry at her, why do all that trouble to find her?"
"Because I wanted to let her know how I felt…that I thought it was classless of her to leave like that." Well, shit! That sounded better in my head. I'm such a fucking wimp!
"I don't understand Christian." He shakes his head and I see the fucker suppressing a smile. "You told me time and time again that sex for you is just that…sex…"
"And it is…"
"Well then maybe you should resign to the fact that it was just sex…maybe…just maybe…she thinks the same about sex…just like you. No attachments, just a means to an end. You know like that lovely relationship you have with Gabrielle"
Smug fucker.
"But it wasn't just sex John! It was much more than that!" I yell, standing up from my chair and pacing around in his office. "And she felt it too! She can deny it all she wants, but there was a connection, and I just want to get to know her. It was much more than sex" My voice is merely a whisper when I finish my sentence.
"Ah, there is that word…" he says in his nauseating English accent.
"What word John?"
"More…"
I roll my eyes. "What's her name. Just give me her name" I say clenching my jaw.
"I remember vividly how determined you were after you broke up with Jessica. You told me you were never entering another relationship again." He says deflecting my question.
"Things get messy, you know that. I have a daughter, she is my first priority, I have my family and GEH. I don't have time for a relationship"
"Then why persuade this brunette woman? If it isn't love, than what it is?"
And that's the crux of the problem. Why can't I forget about her? What did she do to me?
"I think I just have to speak to hear once…tell her how I think about her and leave her…just like she left me. But since she doesn't want to speak to me…" I bring both hands to my hair and pull. "You know forget about it."
I see a small smile on his face as he slowly walks to the small desk in the corner of the room and starts rummaging through a stack of magazines.
"You have no idea who she is, do you?" He says briefly looking up from the magazine.
"We are talking in circles here." Dejected I lower my head. "I'm sorry, John, but tell Rhian that I had an emergency call from GEH, I can't stay any longer."
"You really don't know who she is, do you?" He presses on.
"What the fuck do you mean John?"
"Christian" he sighs "She was right under your nose all this time. The beautiful brunette that captured your attention is Anastasia Steele and she is a model. She is on contract by L'oreal. Last year, she came second on the Forbes top-earning models list, estimated to have earned $8 million in one year."
What. The. Fuck.
"And how the fuck do you know all this John?" Isn't he supposed to be a boring psychiatrist with no life?
"Ana and Rhian are good friends. They are involved in several charities. And to be honest you have to been living under a rock so not to know her."
"I don't read those stupid magazines, John!" Anastasia Steele is a supermodel. Holy fuck.
Anastasia Steele. She even has a pretty name.
With the magazine still in his hand, he briefly looks at his watch. "I'm sorry Christian, I need to return to my guests."
He stops when he reaches me and taps his finger on the cover of the magazine.
And there she is indeed, Anastasia Steele. Her beautiful face, covering the entire cover of Vogue. Her hair falling in perfect waves framing her beautiful face, her blue eyes looking back at me and her perfect, desirable lips are slightly open. I can barely suppress a groan and snatch the magazine out of his hands. I'm so keeping this!
"Feel free to use my laptop" John shouts and then three seconds later I hear the door closing with a soft click. Fucker.
I don't waste any time. I practically launch myself on his chair and fire up his laptop and drum with my fingers against his perfectly polished wooden desk.
Clicking on the internet tab I type her name and hit enter.
Holy. Mother. Of. Shit!
My eyes scan quickly over the article.
Anastasia Rose Steele is one of few highly successful professional models who was not discovered by any scouting agency. She got accepted at Monde Model Management in Los Angeles after someone sent some of her holiday pictures. Quickly after that, she was cast at lingerie giant Victoria's Secret. She became as a Victoria's Secret Angel. Steele's portfolio quickly began to expand, and she appeared in numerous international editions of Vogue and Marie Claire. As a runway model, she has walked the catwalks for designers such as Vera Wang, Giorgio Armani, Valentino, Gucci and many others.
Steele continued to build upon her portfolio, doing more print work for Maybelline, for whom she worked as a spokesmodel the same year she appeared in the company's first calendar. She did an ad campaign for Gucci. Steele has also worked for notable fashion brands Bebe, Armani, Versace, and Louis Vuitton. She also appeared on the covers and in the editorials of other fashion magazines such as Elle, GQ, Vogue, V, Esquire. Her April 2010 GQ cover was the highest-selling issue that magazine for the year. It is also one of the biggest selling issues of the publication ever.
Anastasia Steele's net worth and salary: Anastasia Steele is an American supermodel who has a net worth $65 million dollars. Anastasia Steele was born on September 10, 1989, Montesano WA. Anastasia Steele owns an apartment in Los Angeles and New York City.
I skip the rest of the four-page long article and click the tab images on the top of my screen.
Christ. There are thousands of photographs from her. What the fuck? In one picture she is standing hugging this male model, her tits pressed against his chest. This is a fucking jeans add, why the hell isn't she wearing a top?
She doesn't need to get half naked to promote jeans, does she?
And then this other one, where she is lying naked on the floor on another male model tugging his boxers down. This is a fucking add for Calving Klein underwear…what's the point in removing said underwear? And she is lying there perfectly comfortable in a skimpy lingerie set. Unfuckingbelievable. The more I look at those pictures, the more confused I get. There is this weird sensation taking place in my chest and I don't know whether to punch the screen or skip to the next photograph. Fuck this! She needs to talk to me. She needs to hear me out because I am not letting her get away from me.
Anastasia
I need to have a serious word with Rhian. What the hell was she thinking introducing me to this guy?
What was his name again? Ben, Gent? I keep the practiced fake smile on my face while, whatever his name is, keeps droning on about himself. I see his lips moving, but that's it because I am too busy looking for Christian in the crowd of people that are gathered here together for John's birthday. What the hell am I still doing here? I need to find him. I need to apologize.
When Kent, I believe his name is, brings the champagne glass to his lips, I make grateful use of the silence. I place my empty champagne glass on the tray of a passing waiter and turn my head to look at him.
"It was lovely meeting you, Kent" I give him another smile and nod my head.
"It's Brant," He says with a little chuckle. Whatever, I don't care I need to find Christian. Loser.
"Okay, Brant. Lovely meeting you, but I need to find Rhian" Before I am able to walk away he takes my hand in his sweaty one and brings my hand to his mouth. I fight the urge to pull my hand away and hope he doesn't make a show out of it.
"Go out with me," He says his lips still lingering over my knuckles. Inwardly I roll my eyes. This time I pull my hand away. "too busy, sorry" Rude I know, but there are more pressing matters right now and Kent, Ben, Gent or whatever his name is, is definitely not one of those matters.
Rhian is nowhere to be seen, but finally, I find John in the hallway. "Ana, you are not leaving are you?" He says briefly looking at his watch.
"No, I…I was just talking to someone…" I shake my head. "Christian, I was talking to Christian Grey and I behaved rather rudely, I wanted to apologize. Do you happen to know where I can find him?"
"In my study, second floor and then the third door on your right." He pauses and sighs. "He is a good guy, Ana. Yes, he has a temper, but his heart is in the right place. Maybe you should give him a chance."
"I know he is a good guy" I admit. "That's why I wanted to apologize"
He smiles brightly and after pointing towards the stairs he walks towards the living area.
"Thank you" I whisper and slowly make my way up the stairs. Why the hell did I react like that? Sure, I never expected him to be here. But I think I was ashamed of what I had done. Because he is right, there was a connection, deeper than I've ever felt. And then I left. I left after the most amazing sex I've ever had. And even though I left because I thought I needed to be in Seattle to feel closer to Phoebe, I only felt more miserable the further away I got from the magical island. I also left because that connection scared me. No man has ever affected me the way Christian Grey has. It's been a month and I haven't been able to forget about him, no matter what I did.
Soon I reach the door to Flynn study and I hesitate before entering. Should I knock? But before I have a chance to think about it any further the door opens and there he is. Christian Grey. He looks absolutely hot wearing a dark grey suit with a white shirt. His face has the perfect amount of stubble and his hair is in a perfect disarray.
"Hi"
"Hey" I giggle when we start speaking at the same time and the smile that forms on his face is simply magnificent.
"Ladies first," He says bowing his head slightly.
"Can we speak in private?" I point to the study and he immediately takes a step backward, opens the door and lets me enter.
"John told me where to find you," I start the moment he closes the door behind him. "I wanted to apologize, and I …"
"Apology accepted. I was completely out of line and I shouldn't have said those things I said to you." He says quickly.
"You were just reacting to my attitude. There was no need for me to react like that, but the point is that you caught me off guard, I didn't know you knew John and Rhian and I never expected you to be here tonight. And to clarify things, I am not a one-night stand girl. In fact, that was the first one night stand I've ever had." I feel myself blush after admitting it.
"And well, I was speaking the truth when I said I was slightly drunk, though"
"And were you speaking the truth when you said it was a mistake?" He asks softly. His hands are in his pockets and even though he is standing up straight looking strong and powerful, I also see a tinge of vulnerability in his gray eyes. It's almost impossible to imagine that this man could be vulnerable in any way. But he is.
"No, I wasn't. Like I said, you caught me off guard and I am really ashamed of leaving the way I did"
"Why did you leave?" the intenseness of those amazing gray eyes is too much, so I lower my eyes and swallow because I am not ready to tell him the real reason why I left.
"I know how lame this is going to sound, but it had nothing to do with you. I was…struggling with some things, personal things, and I just needed to leave." I clear my throat still looking at my feet. "I am telling the truth. I regretted it from the moment I stepped back on that plane back to Seattle"
"You live here then?" I smile a little at the curiosity in his tone.
"Yes, I do. I've always felt drawn to Seattle and every time I visited I stayed with Kate, my best friend. But I really needed a place for myself. I own a house at the Sound"
"At the Sound, you say?" His eyes widen. "Where at the Sound?"
I rattle the address and then he starts chuckling. "You are my new neighbor," He says smiling.
"Oh my God, you are the guy with that humongous gate and the guard?"
"Yes, that's me. I am a very private person." He says turning serious again.
There is a short silence and my eyes are drawn to his finger that is slowly brushing along his lower lip.
"Will you please stop biting that lip?" What? I just stare at him, not really understanding what he is talking about. But then he takes a step forward and brushes with his thumb against my lip. "You have the most amazing lips" He whispers.
"I couldn't stop thinking about you" He continues.
His eyes go from my lips to my eyes, like he is silently asking me if he can kiss me. Then his warm hands cradle my face and he leans closer. I can feel his breath against my lips and then suddenly his lips are brushing against mine.
As he deepens the kiss, I hear a sound but at this point, I just want to get lost in this amazing man.
"Bloody hell, …well this turned better out than I imagined." John is standing in the doorway looking a little flushed, surprised and happy at the same time. "I…I will leave you to at it…I will send up some food and let you two to talk…did you just hear me put the emphasis on talk? Don't do anything I wouldn't do on my desk…or any surface here in my study…"
"John. Get out!" Christian growls, his hands now firmly clasped on my hips.
A half hour later we are sitting on the floor, the food is long gone, and I don't remember when was the last time I felt this relaxed. I also don't remember the last time I laughed and smiled this much. I am finding out that Christian has the ability to make me feel at ease and comfortable, something I haven't felt in a really long time. And as if it is the most natural thing in the world we are holding hands. It's not even awkward, it feels like my hand belongs in his.
"So, you have already moved in? Because I saw some moving trucks the other day?"
I hesitate for a few seconds but decide to tell him the truth. "I bought this house almost four years ago," I say brushing my fingers over my forehead.
He looks confused and I continue quickly. "When I bought it something happened and I decided to move back to LA. My best friend has been living there for the last three years. They are now remodeling my kitchen and hopefully, they will finish it this week so I won't need to live out of pizza's and takeout food."
"You can come and eat with us," He says " I have a housekeeper who is an amazing cook"
"I wouldn't want to impose. Besides, you must be pretty busy running your own company."
"You wouldn't, also I always come home to have dinner." He squeezes my hand and looks at me pleadingly.
"I can come over tomorrow if you want," I say carefully.
His smile is blinding. "Tomorrow is too far away. Stay with me tonight" He whispers. "Please"
"Okay," The word just slips out of my mouth before I have a chance to think about it. And I have no idea if this is the right thing to do, but for once in my life, I am going to follow my heart.