I slam my first against my head, bang it hard with as much anger as I could muster. I proceeded to hit myself over and over again. I could feel my face bruising, but I didn't care. In fact I was happy about it! I wanted to feel the pain. I wanted to ruin my face. I grabbed a book off of my table and slammed it into my face multiple times. I felt my nose break, and reveled in the pain. I dragged my nails across my face, leaving cuts that oozed blood.
Maybe he left me because I was ugly. Maybe he thought I was horrifying to look at. He had always said so, but I never thought he meant it. But I must have been wrong, because he didn't take me with him. I was an ugly piece of trash. I always had a feeling that I was, but Zim always made me feel better. But it was all lies. & I deserved them all.
I wanted to change the way I looked. I hated how I looked. Just beating my face wouldn't work. No, I needed a more lasting change. I grabbed a pair of scissors from my desk. I was going to change how I looked. I had to. I grabbed my big scythe like lock of hair and cut the whole thing off. I then started cutting other pieces of my hair off. I cut and cut until I couldn't find any more pieces of hair to cut. And then I started to cut my head. Running the knife all around the top of my head, feeling the blood flow out of the wounds.
I was an inferior being. That's why he left me. He couldn't stand a lowlife creature such as me. I looked at my wrists. Inferior beings should bleed. They shouldn't be left to have nice skin. Zim made sure that I didn't, leaving scars all along my torso and legs. But my wrists were pure. That wasn't acceptable. I slid the blade of the scissor across my wrist, deeply. I felt the pain, and I relished in it. The blood was flying down my wrists. It was an interesting sight, so I stared at it for a minute, before nodding my head. This is how an inferior being should be. I grabbed the other wrist and sliced it even deeper. I moaned as my hands and wrists were covered in blood. I brought my wrists to my face and began rubbing them against my cheeks. The blood spread all over my face, dripping onto my shirt.
As soon as I was done with this little activity, I decided to see how I looked. I couldn't possibly look the same. I must look completely different. Maybe now he'll come back for me. I stand up and stumble my way to the mirror.
Well I wasn't wrong. I looked completely different. My nose was purple and lopsided; my whole face was puffed up. The blood made my skin look completely different. My hair was barely there, and if it was, it was in small clumps on my head. I was different looking, maybe not better, but I was different. Except for one thing; my eyes.
They were still the same eyes. They had the same honey color with flecks of gold in them. They were wild looking sure, but still the same. I hated that. I wanted to be different! Completely different! I brought my fist up and punched the mirror. The glass shattered and fell around my bleeding fist.
I started crying. The tears falling down my blood stained face, leaving stains of their own. I crumbled to me knees and cried. I cried and cried in the shattered pieces of my heart and the liquids of my love.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: please please PLEASE don't kill me for destroy the scythe like hair! It had to be done to show the pain he was in and his initial reaction to Zim leaving! I love the hair too, but it just had to be done!
Anywho, please continue or start to review this! I really do appreciate them! And if there is something you don't like, please tell me (BUT IN A NICE WAY) I love constructive criticism, so if you feel I could have said something better, please tell me. I want to improve my writing! Thank you for reading!