I was standing in one of my old dresses – a light pink one, covered in ribbons and lace, just how I liked it. I couldn't tell if I was wearing my glasses or not; I could see clearly. I saw a little black puppy toddle up to me on short legs, holding out something to me in his teeth. I took it, and saw that it was a pink rose, with a black stem and thorns. I cut my finger on one of the thorns, and a crimson drop of blood fell to the ground. Suddenly, the dog's eyes turned red, and he growled, and he grew, and he threatened me with huge, sharp fangs. I dropped the rose, and I stepped backward to run, but the dress wouldn't let me move, and I fell backwards as the dog pounced –

I bolted upright in bed with a sharp cry. Reflexively I grabbed my glasses from the nightstand and pulled my death scythe out from under the bed. It took a few moments for the adrenaline to wear off and allow me to realize it had only been a dream. I put my weapon down and fell back into bed with a loud sigh. I couldn't stop thinking about Ciel. He lied to me, and he hurt me. I sacrificed myself and my afterlife for nothing. And yet... I couldn't forget playing with him as a child. I couldn't forget dancing with him at our own private ball. I couldn't forget finding the white stag with him, the ancient glyph which promised eternal happiness. Were we still meant to have happiness? How can we? A demon and a death god... Will always told me that it was the worst combination possible, and he seemed to have had a bad experience with that.

I laid there awake, unsure of how I felt, or what to do.

I was on my lunch break the first day of training, and I noticed Grell sitting across the cafeteria, so I got my food and joined him.

"Hey there, hon, how's training going?" he greeted me.

"It's rough, but I think I can manage it. I forgot to ask, when we met the other day, did you... become a shinigami... after my aunt... or before?" He answered me, laughing a little:

"Honey, we're all shinigami here. There's no need to be afraid to talk about death. No, I've been a reaper for a while now. I was already like this when I met Madame Red."

"Oh." I paused a little to eat. I wasn't sure why a shinigami would've taken interest in my aunt, but I was afraid of the answer, so I didn't ask. "If you don't mind me asking... why did you...?"

"Alas, all I wanted from life was to be a beautiful woman. But, being born a male, I had no opportunities to fulfill my greatest fantasies, and I wasn't allowed to seduce beautiful men in public! But, I wasn't about to curl up and accept fate – no; I stole a gorgeous red dress, and secretly attended parties under the name Lady Crimson. All was going fabulously; the gentlemen were held in awe my this mysterious maiden, who would dance so beautifully and then disappear into the night like a shadow! But alas, it was not to last: for my father, who insisted on knowing where I was going these nights, afraid I had found a secret lover, followed me, and my ruse was uncovered. I could not live with shame such as that – no, I would rather have died, and so I took my own life~!" He seemed to get more excited as he was talking, until he was almost standing on the table.

"Ha! Whatever," another voice interrupted. I turned to look, and saw that another shinigami had approached our table – a blonde one. "Every time you tell that story it's completely different – that's the fifth version I've heard this week!"

"Oh, Ron, quit being such a boor!" Grell chided, sitting back down. "You never sit with me anyway – don't tell me you came all the way over here just to shoot me down!"

"Hahahaha, oh no; sorry senpai~. I wanted to get introduced to your cute new lady friend." I realized he met me, and I blushed. He was older, and I only loved Ciel...

"Oh, honestly Ronald, she's just a kid. Don't be a perv."

"You're calling me a perv...?" he muttered to himself. "Anyways, I'm sure you at least won't mind if I sit here, miss...?"

"Elizabeth Midford," I answered politely. "And yes, you may." He took a seat.

"Anyways, most I can get out of Grell that I believe is he killed himself because people weren't ok with him... being himself. It's a pretty common story, at least among reapers. So, training huh? You must be new."

"Huh? How did you know?"

"Your glasses, sweetheart," he chuckled. "Boy, she is a cutie, isn't she? You still have training glasses."

"Oh..." I hadn't thought about it, but all the trainees in my classes had the same pair of glasses that I did, and Grell and Will had their own custom pairs. I guessed that I'd get my own custom pair after I finished training. "So, what was your name again?"

"I am the deadly handsome Reaper in collections, Ronald Knox !" He posed, and I laughed a little. It was, frankly, the dumbest catchphrase I'd ever heard. "Yeah, I'm still working on it... But anyways, you can call my Ron. Everyone else does. Well, except Will, but Will's got a stick up his ass."

"I'd like to put my stick up his ass..."

"Gross, Grell, she's just a kid!"

"Well, I'm not going to deny it."

"Anyways, how are you adjusting, Elizabeth? It's a bit much to get used to all at once, isn't it?"

"You can call me Lizzie, if you like," I clarified. "And I think I'm doing fine. It's a little weird though, my eyes being a different color. I suppose I'll get used to it eventually." Ron nodded, understanding. I looked at the clock, and realized that my break was almost over. "Oops, I've gotta go, I have a class in five minutes!" I told them, getting up and swallowing the last of my food. "See you guys later!"

I tried to focus on work today instead of thinking about Ciel. I'd heard the phrase "speak of the devil, and he shall appear," and even though I wasn't sure how true it was, I didn't want to test it. I couldn't face that right now; not when I was so undecided. Nevertheless, it seemed impossible not to. I mean, I don't think there's ever been a day where I didn't think about him, even when I was human. It used to give me hope, but now it only makes me nervous. I don't want to meet him. I don't want to lose my job. I've heard demons can corrupt shinigami – would he try to turn me into a demon too? I had heard that Ron was running around with a demon girl now, which was why he's been so... angry... lately. Would I change too?

That wasn't the only thing that bothered me: Demons can't love. Everyone knows that. So... does he not love me anymore? Did he ever love me in the first place, or was he just going along with it out of obligation? If we did... somehow find a way to make it work, would he be able to love me again? I didn't want to think about it.

Also, Sebastian was still with him, and that bugged me. Clearly Sebastian was a demon too. Which implied that he was contracted to Ciel, and served him because of that. But... perhaps this was blindness on my part, but I never thought Ciel could ever do that to himself. What did he sell his soul for? Revenge, perhaps? Why? Why would he give up his whole life for something so... empty? Why didn't he tell me?

I tried to focus on my work.

My class got to go to the human world for a field study, and on my break that night I went to see my mom. I was nervous. I didn't know what I'd wanted to do or say, not to mention this was a direct violation of the rules, but... I couldn't stop myself. I had to know how they were doing. I slipped into her bedroom, quiet as death. Dad was out late working probably, so he wasn't there, but Mom was fast asleep. It had only been a month or two since I died, and yet, she already looked older...

"Mom?" I whispered, trying not to cry. I must have hurt her so much... She stirred.

"Lizzie?" she muttered, turning her head towards me.

"Shh, don't wake up," I told her quietly. If she saw me, I would be in so much trouble. "Yes, it's me."

"I don't want to wake up," she murmured back. "This is the best dream I've had since... since you..." She choked back the rest of the sentence.

"I'm sorry, Mom," I said, blubbering a bit. "I didn't mean to... to hurt you..."

"No, no, Lizzie, don't cry. Please don't cry. It's... it's my fault, isn't it? They always said I shouldn't have let you keep that damn sword; I should've watched you closer, I knew you were upset..."

"No, it wasn't your fault! Really! I just... I couldn't live without him..." I was crying now. I couldn't help it.

"Now, now, Elizabeth, what did I say about crying?" she chided me gently in her sleep. "You shouldn't be here, crying over what is done. I don't know why you'd want to stay with the living anyways. You should focus your energy on moving on – go meet that boy on the other side! I'll see you again soon enough."

"Ok. Just... just don't hurt yourself, ok? Promise me you won't."

"I promise," she smiled. "Now go on, get out of here."

"Ok. Bye. I love you."

"I love you too." I leaned over to kiss her forehead, and then vanished into the night.