Chapter 3: Crops, Creepers, and Awkward Greetings

'I haven't slept that well in years.' Kakashi smiled to himself as he lumbered out of bed the next morning. 'While some of the people here are a little strange, I sure feel relaxed. And really, when you think about it, who am I to judge strangeness… What the hell?' The retired ninja's thoughts were cut short when he noticed the poorly wrapped present right in the centre of his room.

"This was most certainly not here when I fell asleep last night." Kakashi approached the present warily, using his training with the tracking hounds to detect any potential traps or poisons. "Seems to be alright." Kakashi concluded after several moments of examination. "Guess I just have to open it."

After hastily tearing the packaging apart, a frown appeared on Kakashi's face. The present contained fifteen seeds for a plant called a Parsnip, and a handwritten letter that read: 'Hope this helps you get started! -Lewis'

"He couldn't have left this outside in the mailbox like a normal person?" Kakashi complained, throwing the note in the trash bin. "I can't believe I didn't sense him coming in here, either. I shouldn't let my most basic ninja skills grow rusty. Perhaps some rudimentary traps around the farm would be a good idea." He nodded to himself, before remembering Robin's reaction to 'ninja magic'. "I mean, traps are completely different than jutsu. I'm sure my father had traps set up when he was here… In any case I guess I should get these seeds planted, don't know if they expire or anything…"

And so, Kakashi started his day clearing out a small area right in front of his farmhouse, hoeing up the dirt, and planting and watering the 15 parsnip. "What the heck even is parsnip?" Kakashi mumbled to himself as he worked. "It must be a crop native to this valley. Hopefully that means it's rare so I can make some cash off it. I only got 5,000 ryo on me and I'm still unsure what the exchange rate is for their currency."

Kakashi finished his little crop by 8:30 in the morning, giving him plenty of time for his other errands. He began to talk to himself as he strolled into Pelican Town, Icha Icha in hand. "I need to stop by Lewis' place and get the local currency before anything. The quicker I get out of that creeps house the better. Then I guess I can stop by that Pierre store they mentioned and get some groceries and more seeds to plant. After that I guess I should just get my bearings around this place, maybe introduce myself to a few people… God I hope they're not all like Lewis." Kakashi involuntarily shuddered at the thought of Lewis in his home last night without his knowledge. Yes… Traps needed to be set.

Arriving in Pelican Town, Kakashi discovered a new problem. 'I don't have a map, how the hell am I supposed to find Lewis?!' And so Kakashi wandered aimlessly for a few minutes, hoping to find someone to speak to. He finally got lucky as he bumped into a man a few years his junior wearing a blue 'Joja Mart' uniform walking down the road.

"Excuse me, my name's Kakashi, and I am new around here. Who might you be?" The ninja greeted, extending his arm for the newcomer to shake.

"I'm Shane… Why are you talking to me?" The now identified Shane responded gruffly, ignoring the extended hand.

Seeing the handshake wasn't going to happen, Kakashi put his hand back in his pocket, the other hand still holding Icha Icha. "Well, I was wondering if you could point me in the direction of Mayor Lewis' residence?"

Shane gave a look that screamed 'kill me' before slowly pointing at the house immediately behind Kakashi. "It's right there, idiot. Now, leave me alone, I have to get to work…"

"Well, it was a true pleasure to meet you!" Kakashi chirped sarcastically as the grocery store worker clomped off, clearly in no real rush to get to his job. Shaking his head, Kakashi turned to Lewis' home and knocked on the door. "Mayor Lewis? It's Kakashi Hatake. I'm here to exchange my ryo."

"Just a minute." Lewis called distantly, most likely from the washroom. Kakashi predictably used this time to dive back into his Icha Icha. Countless minutes later the door finally opened and Kakashi was made a witness to the horrifying sight of Mayor Lewis in nothing but a bathrobe. "Ah, Mr. Hatake! Please come in! I'm making eggs!"

Kakashi shifted uncomfortably. "Uh, I can wait until you finish getting ready for the day, Mr. Lewis. I certainly wouldn't want to-"

"Nonsense!" The scantily clad Mayor persisted, grabbing Kakashi's arm and dragging him inside, sitting him down in the kitchen. "Just give me a second to finish the eggs and we can exchange. How do you like your eggs?"

"Um…" Kakashi started, trying to look anywhere but at Lewis. "Overeasy for me, please."

"You sure? You look like a poached man to me!" Lewis chuckled jovially.

"Um…" Kakashi stared intently at the ceiling tiles. "Sure, whatever sir, I'm not picky."

"Right Oh! One Lewis' Special Poached Eggs, coming up!" The Mayor exclaimed theatrically, bounding to the stove. "It's nice of you to come by Mr. Hatake, I don't often get visitors."

"Is that right…" Kakashi replied dryly, now looking at the fridge magnets. "Like I said, once I get my ryo exchanged, I'll be out of your hair."

"What little hair I have left!" Lewis replied, barking a laugh at his own joke.

"Sure." Kakashi forced a chuckle to be polite. Luckily for Kakashi, Lewis stayed quiet for a few minutes until the eggs were done, in which he passed a plate to Kakashi, and took a plate for himself.

"So, you're from one of those big fancy Ninja Villages, eh?" Lewis asked, once again trying the aloof ninja's patience.

"Yes, I was born and raised in Konoha." Kakashi responded, giving all his attention to his egg.

"That right… Sakumo never said which ninja village he came from. Real secretive guy, Sakumo was… Not the most talkative." Lewis sighed, recalling the deceased resident.

"Maa maa, don't take it personally Mayor Lewis, my father was always on the quiet side." Kakashi lied, not wanting to witness Lewis sulk.

"That's good! I just thought he didn't like me!" Lewis grinned, happy at the new information. A few excruciating minutes later, both Kakashi and Lewis finally finished their eggs, and Lewis stood up to clean the dishes. "Alright, let's get down to business. You said you're carrying ryo on you correct?" At Kakashi's affirmative nod, Lewis continued. "The current exchange rate for ryo is 1 gold for every 10 ryu. How much ryu do you have on you?"

"5,000, sir." Kakashi quickly replied.

"So that would be…" Lewis spaced out, trying to do the math in his head.

"500 gold sir. It would be 500 gold." Kakashi cut in, not wanting to witness the Mayor's math skills.

"Ah, quite right!" Lewis exclaimed, rushing off into another room. A few moments later he returned with a sack of gold, tossing it to Kakashi. "Here ya go! And the ryo, please?"

"Thanks, Mayor Lewis." Kakashi politely replied, giving the mayor his wallet full of ryo. "Well, I must be going, lots to do. You don't know where I can get a map of the region, do you?"

"Pierre should have some in stock at his store. It's northwest of here, fairly close. Can't miss it." Lewis rambled.

"Well, I'll be leaving then, goodbye, Mayor Lewis." Kakashi waved as he left, internally sighing in relief that he made it through that encounter alive and well.

Nojo no Kakashi

"Welcome to Pierre's! How may I help… Ah, a new face! Who might you be, my friend?" Kakashi was immediately greeted by a bespeckled, kind looking man, standing behind the store's counter.

"Ohaiyo." Kakashi waved. "Name's Kakashi, I just moved into Hatake Farm down the way and was lookin' to make a few purchases."

"Excellent! Welcome to Pelican Town, Farmer Kakashi! Please take a look around! My name's Pierre, by the way." Pierre greeted, waving his hand to his stock.

"That is very much appreciated sir. I'm going to need some cooking supplies, a map of the town, and some seeds to plant if you have any." Kakashi listed off the top of his head.

After quickly hooking Kakashi up with a town map and basic cooking supplies, Pierre led the retired ninja to a shelf full of a variety of seeds. "As you can see, Farmer Kakashi, we have a wide selection of seeds here at Pierre's. If I may make a suggestion though, considering Spring only started in these parts a few days ago, I'd pick between potatoes, cauliflower, and green beans."

"Hm.." Kakashi began to mull over the selection, reading on the label the prices and harvest time for each. "The fact that the beans regrow may be a boon. I will purchase as many beans as this gold can buy." Pierre stumbled back as Kakashi handed over his sack of gold.

"A wise choice, Farmer Kakashi!" Pierre practically squealed, ecstatic to have a new customer making such a large purchase. "Here's your seeds, and if that's everything, you have a nice day!"

After pocketing the green bean seeds, Kakashi nodded his head before heading for the exit. Before he could reach the door though, it swung open, and a purple haired girl in her early twenties rushed in. 'Hm… Her physical appearance reminds me of Yugao, but she certainly has no chakra control…'

"Oh, sorry! Didn't mean to rip the wind out of the room!" The purple haired girl apologized upon seeing the new face. "Hi, I'm Abigail! You're the new farmer, then?"

Determining her to be friendly, Kakashi shook her hand. "Yes, I'm Kakashi. Nice to meet you Ms. Abigail. I must be on my way though."

"Alright then…" Abigail replied, giving Kakashi an unidentifiable look. "Well, if you're into video games, I got a Super Nintendo in my room and am always looking for help in Contra!"

Completely perplexed by most of the words coming out of her mouth, Kakashi decided to just roll with it. "Sounds nice. Perhaps I will sometime. Goodbye." Before any more plans could be made, the silver haired man escaped.

Nojo no Kakashi

"What in the hell is a Super Nintendo… I am not sure that I want to find out. If she's looking for help in it, it could be some sort of perverse toy…" Kakashi muttered to himself as he strolled down the empty streets to his farm. Something to his right caught his eye, and upon looking up he saw three new people he had yet to meet. Two children were playing on a playset, a boy and a girl. The boy had a shade of red hair akin to Gaara, and the girl had dark hair with a bow tied on the top. The two were being supervised by a redheaded woman who looked to be a year or two younger than Kakashi. 'Their mother, perhaps? Suppose I should introduce myself.' After some more pep talking, Kakashi made his way over the the three and waved his hand lazily. "Hi there. Name's Kakashi, I'm new in town. Who might you all be?"

Both females stood frozen like a deer in the headlights at his sudden greeting. The little boy had no issues piping up though. "Hi! I'm Vincent! My mom says I shouldn't talk to strangers, but you seem cool! You wanna play with us? Four people could make the teams even!"

It was now Kakashi's turn to freeze awkwardly, having only expected a polite greeting so he could go on his way. "Well, I could hardly interrupt your playtime. And I'm sure your mother here would find it inappropriate."

This statement seemed to stun the adult redhead even more, and Vincent once again spoke up. "She's not our mom. That's just Penny, she's Jas' and I's tutor! My mom's name is Jodi, and Jas lives with her Auntie Marnie!"

Chuckling good naturedly, Kakashi rolled with it. "Maa maa, I meant nothing by it. My apologies Ms. Penny, I shouldn't have assumed such a thing."

Finally finding her speaking voice, Penny hummed softly. "It's okay, I'm sorry…"

Looking at the redhead stare down at her feet awkwardly, Kakashi felt as if he had bungled this entire introduction. Trying to save himself, he thought of some small talk. "So, that must mean there's no school here if you two need a tutor. In the village I came from, I used to teach kids as well in practical skills."

At this Penny looked up at Kakashi, interest pooling in her bright green eyes. "You used to teach children? What village did you come from? How many kids?"

Happy his diversion seemed to have worked, Kakashi replied. "I lived in Konoha actually. I taught three kids and got to see them grow into strong, brilliant young adults. It was very rewarding. One of my students is now training to become the leader of Konoha."

Any interest Penny had seemed to evaporate at the mention of Konoha. "You're a ninja then? You taught little children how to be spies and killers?"

Seeing this is not where he wanted the conversation to go, Kakashi tried his best to recover. "I would hardly say killers, in a perfect world the skills we taught would be just for self-defense and the protection of others."

Not looking satisfied with his answer, Penny quickly grabbed Vincent and Jas before walking away at a quickened pace. "Good day, Mr. Kakashi."

"Well that could have gone better." Kakashi sighed, putting his left hand in his pocket to fish out his Icha Icha. "That kid seemed to like me though. Kinda reminded me a bit like Naruto… Oh well, perhaps I should keep my shinobi upbringing to myself from now on, it hasn't seemed to create any pleasant situations so far." And with that, Kakashi slunk back to his farm to plant his new beans and prepare for the next day.