Punk POV
I sit across from a very stubborn man; who is currently stuffing down his breakfast almost protectively of his plate. I wonder briefly why he feels this need; almost as if someone had taken food from him in the past, or he had to fight for what he wanted. I haven't figure him out completely, but I feel like I am on my way to what I want. I have to hide the smile on my face I can not let him know that he is falling for my plan. I keep the obnoxious attitude in place allowing him to think he is forcing me to be here. If he had asked me I would of willingly stayed with him, but one thing I have learned observing this man is he doesn't do well with rejection so he doesn't give you options. It's his way, or he has no use for you. Obviously at some point someone hurt him, I just hope I can prove to him that will never be me. I've wanted this man for so long; at first those feelings confused me but after a talk with Colt I decided to pursue Raven.
I tried the typical route; flirting, getting to know him, become his friend; yet all of that got me absolutely no where. Raven doesn't do friends, and everyone knows you can't get to know him he doesn't let anybody in. This only made me want him more, break him out of his loneliness, prove to him there is more in the world beyond his shell of an existence. Sure he pretends to be happy but if you watch him closely you see the truth behind the facade. So I came up with a plan and so far I've been successful, Raven may be an ass and a master manipulator but he has a soft spot for people who seem fragile. People who need help, need a shoulder to lean on he will rescue, so I gave him that opportunity Sure I had just broken up with my girlfriend, that wasn't a lie but it was a mutual decision. I'm never home and she is never a priority so we agreed that she deserved better. It sucks but it is pretty normal in my life, I think that is why I find Raven so appealing he understands this life, understands me and despite our differences I have a feeling we would never bore each other, or stopping being a challenge. I think over the last twenty-four hours and I can not help the small smile that graces my lips.
Sitting on the hard concrete floor I watch him from the corner of my eyes, clutching my phone pretending to stare at the item. He just left the shower and as he dresses I can barely keep up my charade of misery. Colt walks over standing in front of me shaking his head at me, he knows the plan and I hope he just does as I am asking. He thinks all the trouble I am going through to make one guy notice me is absurd, he crotches down to my level and says softly. "You sure about this, he could just leave and you will be stuck here."
"Yes I'm sure, just get out of here fucker and take Ace with you. It is already working he keeps looking over at me. I have other ways home if I need it don't worry I am prepared." Colt shakes his head again but stands and a few minutes later I see them both leave. I'm about to steal another look at Raven when his boots are suddenly in front of me and I'm being pulled to my feet. He leads and I follow, I think I would probably follow him anywhere, maybe even to hell and back. Perhaps that is the road we are on, the path to hell, but I've never wanted anyone so desperately in my life so I will follow. At the bar when he asks me if I've ever thought about being with a guy it takes me by surprise and I hope I'm not being obvious to my attraction towards him. I hate watching him use alcohol to fill the void, but I remain silent allowing him to get drunk. When we are back at his place I really want to do a helluva lot more than kiss, but my beliefs prevent me from going further, sometimes being straight edge is more difficult than you can imagine.
I slept better than I had in forever in his arms, in his bed this startles me, however waking up to the best hand job I have ever had startles me more. I mean sleeping in his bed is unexpected, but throwing my beliefs out the window for this guy is not allowed. I need to make my self stronger against his charms, or his insults when he implied I am a ring rat it stung. When I am in the shower I am berating myself, he gave me an out instead I let my bodies needs overtake my mind. He is not the first guy who's given me a hand job, he is just the first one who made it feel like I was flying. Okay so the only other guy was Colt and it was more experimentation so I could figure out my attraction to Raven. Colt and I have a relationship, we are best friends so I could rationalize that, with Raven I can not. I think maybe I should abandon my plan, admit defeat now, he is able to get to me too easily. This could end disastrous, and I have a feeling Raven has an ulterior motive, when he decided to keep me here I am sure he is playing head games so I give in easier than I should have. I want to find out how this plays out, and at the end of it all if I get what I want then kudos to me.
I'm pulled from my thoughts by the man of my desires "Will you stop playing with your fucking food like a child and eat." I look down at plate where I'd been pushing around the pancakes and shrug.
"I'm done, just waiting for you to finish, what are we doing today?" Raven rolls his eyes at me and grabs my plate beginning to eat the contents,
"We are going to hang out with a couple of my friends, try not to embarrass me, if you can't be nice then keep your smart ass mouth shut." I have to refrain from rolling my eyes, does he think I have no clue how to interact with people, I'm not a complete moron.
"Who are we going to meet?" I really want to know as Raven seems so isolated backstage that I have to question what I am getting dragged into.
"Dreamer and Sabu so make sure you show some respect." I want to sigh, positive this means watching the men get trashed while I drag their asses home after. Complaining would get me nowhere with Raven so I keep my mouth shut, I'm learning quickly he thinks I'm meek; for now I will let him have that conclusion at least until I know I have his attention completely.
We go to a sports bar where I greet his friends respectfully as requested, they give me curious looks but ask no questions. I spend the rest of the afternoon watching them drink, watching Raven relax around his people. Its amazing seeing this man not isolate, instead be open and actually very funny. He is incredibly intelligent and has a ton of charm, it is a side I've never seen of him and I wonder if maybe I've missed judge him. I can't help but stare, and I know he knows I'm doing it but he does not seemed bother by eyes on him. In fact I think it's boosting his ego, I hope I'm not falling into whatever mind game he has planned, I need to keep my wits about me where he is concerned. I am dragged outside by Dreamer under the pretense of needing fresh air, instead I find myself being studied and questioned. "What are your intentions here?"
"Umm what?" Really I have no quick reply I feel so far out of my element since the moment I opened my eyes that I think my brain has stopped functioning.
"Why are you here with Raven, it's not a good idea." I frown at him not liking the tone of his voice.
"I'm here because he wants me here, he refuses to let me leave. Not that it's any of your business. Raven and I are. . ." I'm at a loss on how to finish that statement what the hell are we.
"Your what? The next notch in his belt, some wrestler who idolize the man so is throwing himself at Raven? You could leave if you wanted in fact I suggest you take off right now." Okay that pisses me off and I forget about being respectful.
"You're an ass, you have no idea why I would be interested in Raven, do I think in his time he was an amazing wrestler sure. Now he's nowhere near what he use to be so trust me I'm not throwing myself at the man due to wrestling or some hero complex. I am not a notch in anyone's belt fucker, I don't sleep around ever. If you have an issue with Raven deciding to spend time with me then take it up with him." I refrain from saying more and go back inside sitting beside of Raven with a huff. He glances over at me and puts his hand on my knee squeezing gently and my eyes meet his.
"Have a drink with me" it is not a question and I roll my eyes.
"Not going to happen Raven and you are drunker then I think if you think it's a possibly." He leans over and runs his lips softly behind my ear, before nipping at the lode. Sparks fill my stomach and I swear my brain becomes a haze all attention focused on those lips.
"Come on one beer, then we can get out of here. I'll take you back home and fuck you through the mattress all night long. You want that don't you Punkers?" I lick my lips slowly, I want that more than I can express, well part of that but my beliefs are important. I need to hang on to what I believe in and my conscience is reminding me of that very loudly. I am about to tell him no, when his tongue begins licking my neck, his lips sucking gently leaving his mark on my skin.
"No beer Raven, but house is okay, no drinking." I whimper trying to sound forceful in my refusal. He bites down hard enough to draw blood and I wince at the same time a moan escapes my lips.
"One drink won't hurt you Punk, and if you want me to give you a night full of pleasure, then you need to please me and it would please me greatly if you had a drink with me before we go." I close my eyes and remind myself of all the reasons I don't drink.
"I hate the smell of beer so I'm not going to drink something that taste like warm piss Raven, lets just get out of here." He smirks standing and heading to the bar, I try to get myself together before he returns. This is another one of his tests and I have a feeling I can not pass no matter what I do. I feel his friends both looking at me and I really wish they would leave. Raven returns a glass and a beer in his hand. I'm not sure what's in the glass but I'm sure it is meant for me and I am so not going to be drinking it. Instead of trying to hand it to me he sits it on the table and reattaches himself to my neck, making my mind go back to that fuzzy place.
I've been with so many people but this is the first time it's been completely out of my control. I can not stand being the vulnerable one in this situation, my mind screaming to push him away and get the fuck out of here before I throw the rest of my beliefs aside for him. My body pressing against him, my arms slinking their way around his neck I pull his lips to mine, allowing him to dominate the kiss. He taste like beer and cigarettes not a combination I would ever find pleasing; but with him it is addicting, I want more I want all he is offering. All he wants is me to have one drink with him then we could leave, we could go back to his place and have a night I will never forget. Am I willing to settle for one night with this man, one night against everything I believe in?
I think he feels my warring emotions, knows he could be winning because he picks up the glass and presses it into my hand. I stare at the blue liquid, chewing at my lip ring. "The bartender says it is sweet, fruity you'll like it." I swallow hard and look into Raven's eyes.
"Why do you want me to do this?" I really want to know the answer, want to know what is behind his desire to challenge my beliefs.
"I need to know if you are willing to give up everything to be with me? If I'm more important to you then anything, I need to trust you. If you don't want to I will drive you to the bus station and you can head to Chicago right now." I take a deep breath and bring the glass to my lips quickly downing the contents, yup somehow he is more important to me then everything else, I wonder when that happened, how it occurred but I'm too confused to worry about it at the moment. There is no burn, no taste of liquor, nothing like I've heard about. "It's a virgin blue Hawaiian, you'd really give up your beliefs for me; interesting. We will have to test that later, now lets watch the rest of the game." I have a desire to punch him right in his smug mouth, instead I just storm from the bar. I walk up the street ducking into an alley and press my forehead against the cool brick. Mind games, he plays mind games and I just fell for one of them. I need to remind myself that I want this, I want him, I could leave but I chose to stay. He talks about everyone having someone, well I really think he is it for me. I've thought this for a while, but now it is more evident I will do anything to make him happy. This is going to destroy me, he is going to tear everything I believe into shreds. Then and only then will he allow himself to be with me, to trust me how the hell do I let him do that without losing myself. How do I prove to him he is my someone, somewhere. I need a plan, and possibly some help.
So I hope this explains some of why Punk gave in so easy to Raven, don't worry Punk is going to start getting his own plan in place soon. Thank you for reading and don't forget to review!
bitter-alisa- Raven is very much trying to justify his feelings towards Punk by playing games. Raven's transition from sweet to an ass will be explained in the next chapter as long as he lets me. He is an evasive ass who sometimes does not even let me understand his behavior.
lamentomori- You exactly nailed it they are both playing games, just for different reasons. Punk is going to come on full force Punk very soon and I am afraid that Raven won't like the kitten he unleashes. Punk is one cat that is very adept at catching birds, especially evasive, arrogant ones lol.