Chapter III.
They don't speak for three days, they don't even share the same bed. She curls up on what she presumes to be Ava's side, whilst he takes one of the guest bedrooms. In the morning, Killian sneaks into the closet to get dressed when she's taking a shower, and by the time she's out, he's left for work. It's a real martial argument which has been sprung upon her, and before her identity switch, Emma never even considered the prospect. Neal was closest, closer than any other man, and he broke her heart.
A part of Emma wonders why she's continuing the charade. Afterall, it's not her marriage which is in the shit, it's her sister's. But when she does catch a glimpse of both Killian and Lydia, she feels a great deal of pity for the pair of them. The guilt of their shared night remains at the forefront of her mind, as though she cannot shake dirt from her skin.
One thing which came as a surprise to Emma was how planned every aspect of Ava's life had become, from the morning yoga to the lunch dates with her best friend and therapist sessions every Thursday at 2pm. She'd skimmed through the diary pages, not at all surprised when her name was absent from Friday through to Saturday's plans. There was no part of her sister's life which included Emma, she was a shadow, a forgotten past.
She catches a sight of Killian, he's pulling off his shirt and she's ducking her head out of the closet which a steely expression on her face. What had started out as a conversation had led to her first proper argument with Killian, she'd gotten a bee in her bonnet by the things he said to her, because that's not who she was, not who she is. But she can't say that, she can't say anything.
"Ava, my teacher really liked my art project!" Lydia announces excitedly, causing Emma to smile widely at the young girl. Where there's a divide between herself and Killian, she's found a rapport with the younger Jones, which Emma can only be too glad of.
"I'm really glad to hear that, Kid," she responds genuinely, remembering the countless hours they'd spent on the project, paper macheing an ocean, designing the grandest ship gilt in gold, that Lydia had called The Jolly Roger. She admires the subtle irony of it. The children had been instructed to design a piece to reflect their lives in another world at time.
Ava had chosen to be the daughter of Captain Hook, swashbuckling pirate and known sailor of the Jolly Roger. Her father however is CEO to a large conglomerate company whose main source of income comes from ships.
The phone rings, and Emma is quick to pick it up, "Ava, come to the suite." The voice is one she hasn't heard before, and Emma is aware that she has yet to meet any of her sister's friends. She doesn't know what kind of relationship Ava has with any of them, although she's learnt over the past few days that relationships on the Upper East Side can be extremely fake.
"Oh, I…" Emma begins, unsure of how to approach the situation.
"It's around the corner, pull yourself away from Captain Guyliner and come see the renovations!" Emma recalled seeing something in the red diary about meeting someone called Regina, the interior designer, with tiny devil horn ears around the name. She thought that very mature of her sister. "Please, I need to talk to you," the voice is softer, although there's still a certain level of command to the tone. Emma imagines she's quite a strong woman.
"Fine," she responds, and the voice is gone.
Emma blows a kiss towards Lydia, and then second guesses herself. Ava would have done that to her fake friends, but when would she have done it? Emma can't recall ever blowing a kiss to anyone. "I'll be back in an hour, Kid. Make sure you remind your dad about that school trip." She finds it strange how easily she fits into the role of the mother, where she finds it difficult to talk to Killian at all.
Emma stands on the sidewalk, wishing she'd pulled on one of Ava's many coats. The end of Summer brings a chill to the air, and she finds herself longing for her red leather jacket.
Still very much a stranger in her sister's life, it's blind that she travels down dark paths, each winding and crossing. If she stops, halts even for a second, she's lost.
Across the road stands a man, tall and handsome, his eyes bear into her and she feels the penetration of his gaze from the metres that separated them. She doesn't know the man, but he appears to know her. There's something about him, something sinister. It's a discomfort, an unsettlement to her already fictitious life. She turns to see a copper haired girl rushing forward, "Hi Ava, Regina sent me to come and get you, said you were taking too long. I love your top, aren't you cold? Sorry If I'm talking too loudly, I'm just really excited about Elsa coming back!" Emma nods at the girl, feeling slightly overwhelmed by the sudden rush of positivity and exuberance which comes from the girl. She feels like the closest likeness to the girl that she has is Lydia, a childlike innocence that she finds endearing. What Emma would've given to be that untouched by life.
Emma follows, silently grateful for the assistance. Regina's inability to be kept waiting saves her from wandering around with little knowledge of where this suite is.
When she recalls something that her sister had said to her, she suddenly finds something to speak about, "Killian is happy that they're coming back too. I can't even recall how long Elsa and Liam have been in London," Emma muses, fishing for information from the talkative girl.
"It's been far too long if you ask me! It was originally supposed to be 2 months, not 3 years! I'm so excited to see Aleksander, although I do think Killian always seems a bit jealous. We all know he'd like to have a little boy as well as Lyd, but he's such a great dad. I think the only time him and Milah were ever in love was when she was pregnant...vile woman." The girl continues to prattle on, whilst Emma swallows hard. She'd never heard Ava mention children, in fact her twin appeared partially abhorent of the idea. The more she thought of it, the more she wondered how exactly Ava and Killian had fallen in love, they were practically chalk and cheese.
She herself had always liked them well enough, but her life was one car crash after another, and children never seemed appropriate.
"You head up, Regina wants me to go and shout at one of the suppliers for their incompetence. Which means I'll politely ask them to exchange the scuffed chaise lounge for a new one." The girl sprints off in a vision of rich purples, and Emma is left staring up at an even more opulent building that the one she currently occupies. Of course, she finds herself completely entranced by the penthouse suite and can't imagine anything more beautiful.
She's stepping over plastic sheeting, and around her several work men are knocking things down whilst a petite brunette in stiletto heels orders them around.
The two story penthouse holds more grandeur than she's ever seen, and the view is impeccable, "Wow," she whispers, not noticing the hovering brunette.
"I'm glad you like it. Killian certainly had an eye for a good view, even if it hasn't been that long since I renovated your current residence. Not that I mind, you know I love a good project."
A kiss is placed on either side of her cheek, and Emma smiles softly at the woman. "It's good to see you, Regina." She doesn't know how deep their relationship goes, whether they're friends or Ava simply admires the woman's sense of interior style.
"Enough of that, I need an espresso and a serious talk. These work men are two seconds from having their drills shoved up their pathetic asses, my mood is that sour," Regina motions for her to follow over what Emma can assume to be a temporary office whilst she oversees the decoration and reconstruction of the Jones residence.
"What's wrong," Emma asks, finding concern in her voice. She hopes they're friends.
"Daniel's having an affair," she announces bluntly, admiring the scarlet polish of her nails with intensity. "He walks around far too happy and we haven't had sex since Henry was born."
Her brows shoot up, they must be friends.
"I've been going through who it might be, Henry's nanny, Anna, the mothers from the park, my best friend," Regina stops and gives her a pointed look, and Emma finds herself frozen. "Don't worry, I crossed you off first. I think it might be Katherine."
"Regina, you can't just go around accusing people! He might not even be having an affair, maybe he's just happy."
"He walks around smelling of Coco Mademoiselle, and we know that I'm a J'ador woman." Emma is stumped, she doesn't know how to comfort the brunette. She doesn't know what Regina likes, what their boundaries are. Emma doesn't know how to comfort others easily.
"I'm filing for divorce. I'm not letting him make a fool out of me, and I'm tired of having to self-serve my orgasms. Five years without sex and he thinks it's okay to have an affair? No, just tell me you don't want to be with me! I know I'm hard to love."
She's beyond the hard exterior, a queenlike grace with a voice as stern as steel, but there's the woman who wants to be cherished.
"You deserve to be happy," Emma reassures.
"I know."
Later that night, she seeks out Killian, he's lying in the guest bedroom, staring up at the ceiling. If she's going to live the rest of her life as Ava, she can't continue to go on avoiding him. She knows that she may never be able to be Emma again, with Gold, Neal and Detective Humbert all out for her blood. With Ava as good as gone, Emma has no doubt that she'll never see her sister again.
"Talk to me," she whispers in the darkness, settling on the edge of the bed.
"This may come as a shock to you, Ava. But some of us have to get up early for work," Killian's response is spat out, absent of any warmth. She doubts he loves Ava, she doubts Ava loves him, and she certainly doesn't love him. She can't, he's not hers and her heart's been too easily broken in the past by careless hands.
"Killian, it's 8pm. I know you've been avoiding me."
"What do you expect? You're a master manipulator and you're just playing another game. I don't believe for a second that this is some fairytale ending in which you still love me the way you once did."
"I don't believe in fairytales. Don't belittle me, just to make yourself feel better. My life has been shit, really shit, and yes maybe I have been a shit wife lately. But I'm trying, you're not even trying! Any day now I'm expecting to be issued with divorce papers because that's where I feel we're headed." Emma can feel it in the waters, and Regina's discussion of divorce had pushed it to the forefront of her mind. She was scared to lose the stability, which she'd selfishly become attached to. The place doesn't feel like home, and all the time she has the urge to run, but the broken people around her cry out to be rescued and she desires to be their savior. Maybe she can help them, even if she can't help herself.
He sits up, his face centimeters from her own, nothing but the crack of light beneath the door providing a slight luminosity, and she's there glancing at him sadly. "It's strange. We've been married for a few years, and yet I feel like I'm just meeting you. You're more real, even if your walls are higher. I want to believe in this new you, I prefer her more. Don't leave me, Swan."
"Be patient," she whispers, he leans forward, almost hesitant to press his lips to hers and Emma feels an internal war build inside of her. She shouldn't, it's wrong. But she cannot deny the attraction she feels towards him, he's charming when he's not shouting at her. She wants to know more of him, wants to trust him. It's the want which surprises her. Their lips connect, she tells herself it's a one time thing, she won't let it happen again.
They kiss slowly at first, her hands rest on the side of his face whilst his own wrap around her back, holding her close. Desperation, need, it pushes the intensity of the kiss.
"Ava, there's someone on the phone for you," a voice shouts, and Emma realises that the young girl is shouting for her. Begrudgingly, she pulls herself away from Killian, feeling his arms slump against her back and then retract. "And the doorman called to say there's someone down in the lobby wanting to speak to you."
"I'll go and see who it is," Killian announces, walking behind her as she moves to take the phone out of Lydia's had, whispering a thank you to the young girl.
"Ava Jones speaking," she answers, waiting for the voice on the end of the phone to come through.
"Mrs Jones, I was concerned when you didn't show up for your appointment today. I thought you would have liked to hear your test results."
"Test results?" Emma questions, immediately worried for Ava.
"Your results came back positive." Her mind is racing with worry, fingers shaking. Is that why Ava left? Because she's ill. "Congratulations Mrs Jones, you're pregnant."
"Pregnant," she repeats, the words falling from her mouth like a heavy weight. Shit. Her head turns towards her present company. Double shit. Emma doesn't know how she's supposed to fake that one. Her mind is reeling whilst Lydia is excitedly hugging her, and she suddenly feels like she's falling. The moment is dizzying, and Emma feels a desire to sit down.
Her ears sound watery, and she barely recalls Lydia telling her to sit down.
The grasp around her neck feels to tight, she needs to run. She's going to run.
"Who was that?" Emma questions with uneasy breaths, brows knitted together in concern when he walks in with a furious look on his face. The fragile peace between them appears to be trembling with every step she takes towards him. She's going to leave him, she's going to break her promise and run away. "You're acting strange."
"Detective Humbert, he claims to be looking for Emma Swan. I think of all your secrets, love, this one may be the cherry on-top of the cake. Job bloody well done, Ava! Once again you've managed to throw us right back into the bloody storm. Why didn't you tell me that you have a sister?"
She can't hide her shock, it paints a picture on her face as she stares at him wide-eyed. But the only thing she can actually say is, "Detective Humbert was here?"
Note: If anyones curious about Olivia, I imagine her face claim as Mackenzie Foy.
I hope that you enjoyed the latest chapter of A Dead Ringer, and that you continue to review, favourite and follow it. I'll see you in a few days with another update.