Hi Everybody! So this is the chapter where we earn our M rating. If you don't like lemony smut skip this chapter.
Good, you're all still here that's what I thought. Anyways! Many thanks to the ever talented Lbug84 for betaing, if you don't know about her stories I HIGHLY suggest you check them out. If you enjoy smut you may want to venture over to AO3...
Special thanks also to those who take the time to comment! It means a lot!
I was sixteen when I gave my innocence to Lord Peter, Third son of the Duke of Baker. He had become my Peeta that night and I, his Katniss, in every sense of the word. He ruined me for all others. I have yet to regret my decision…
I arrived at the meadow at precisely midnight, as I promised him. The cool spring breeze blew the unbound hairs at the side of my face. I looked around before I entered the narrow line of oak trees that would lead me to the clearing. The moon was a narrow sliver in the night sky. It was a gift. It made it that much easier to sneak about, undetected by prying eyes. A pair of arms grabbed me the moment I left the darkness beneath the trees. A pair of warm lips descended upon mine and I welcomed the kiss, eager to deepen it. Peeta placed both his hands upon my cheeks as he caressed my nose softly with his. Peeta. Prim had given him the nickname, when she was young and still learning to pronounce words properly. He loved it instantly, as it was a name untainted by his family. We'd taken to calling him by it ever since. I was reluctant to stop the kiss and opened my mouth to further deepen it. Peeta let out a moan of pleasure and succumbed to the temptation I offered him. His tongue caressed mine and set a fire through my veins and down to my very soul.
"I missed you." He whispered against my lips.
"As I missed you. May god damn Eton and all other boarding schools." He smiled against my lips. My hand traced his cheek. He winced. I pulled back and assessed his face.
"What is the matter?" I asked. When he took a step back the glow from his lantern cast his face into focus. "She hit you again?" I was instantly angered. His mother had gone too far. I have longed to throttle the woman for quiet some time but, alas, the penalties are rather harsh for assaulting a duchess, even if she is a devil of a woman.
"Please think nothing of it. It was worth it."
"What did she claim you did this time?"
"She did not take well to my suggestion that perhaps an Oxford Education was not necessary for a third son."
My chest grew tight. The University conversation again. "What was her response?"
"She seemed to believe that just because I was too dull witted to be born female as intended, the least I could do was keep up appearances by receiving a proper education."
My eyes closed briefly. I did not wish to talk anymore of Oxford or of his mother. "Well I for one am rather fond of the fact that you are indeed male." I daringly ran my fingers down the center of his body. I drew my hand back just before I reached the front of his pants.
"Minx. How you tease me." He grasped his heart feigning a wound to the chest.
"How you enjoy it," I purred in response.
"I do." He grasped me from behind and wrapped his arms around my body. He placed a sensuous kiss on my neck. We were aligned perfectly and I could feel the evidence of his desire for me against my backside. We had sinned on a few occasions, though never to a point where there could be risk of a pregnancy. Luckily for us, Peeta had two old brothers who were well versed in the art of 'canoodling,' as they referred to it.
"I brought a treat for us." He took my hand and led me over to a spread blanket on the grass. He had with him a bottle of wine and a half a loaf of bread and a pot of honey with him. I adored honey.
"I know you must be hungry," he said as he pulled me down to sit beside him.
"How can you possibly know that?" My stomach growled to refute my argument.
He smiled and said, "Because, my love, you are always hungry."
He dipped a chunk of bread in honey and popped the morsel into my mouth. A drop of honey was left on my lower lip and he kissed it off. He pulled back, still licking his lips, and looking at me as though it was I that was sweet on his tongue and not the honey. The moisture began to pool at my center.
"You are too far away." He said as he pulled me onto his lap. He fed me another bite and kissed me before pulling away. As I chewed he began to unbraid my hair. It was one of his favorite things. When he was finished, he wound his fingers through my hair and brought of my locks to brush against his cheek.
"When will you let me make you my wife?" he asked me again. He pulled me tighter against him and looked up into my eyes.
I smiled and kissed him. "You know it isn't up to me, my love." I spoke softly. He always asked and after my reply his next question was always the same.
"But if it were?"
"If it were up to me I would be your wife now and every day until the end of our days."
His lips found mine in a passionate kiss. It was long and spoke of our love, a love cruel enough to appear at such a young age and only grow stronger in time. A love that was still too young for society to support. Peeta was not yet eighteen and had yet to inherit the small country house which his late father willed to him. I was still sixteen and had no dowry to speak of. We were not an advantageous match in the eyes of society, but one couldn't argue that the third son of a duke and the daughter of a viscount were a tale of forbidden love either. So we had to wait. It was already decided.
Once Peeta inherited his land, we would move to the country to live a comfortable, if modest, life. I was a fair shot and Peeta had a knack for gardening. If Peeta and I were careful we could allow his small inheritance to be invested wisely and live off the income. His mother was our largest obstacle. It was no secret that, in her mind, Peeta was only valuable for one purpose: for marriage to a family of good breeding and strong social connections. Preferably a family that could align her with even more power and influence. My family, while noble, most assuredly did not fit that description.
My father died a few months before I met Peeta. Our situation was so dire that we faced eviction, starvation, and ruin. Peeta was the one who gave me hope. With his insistence, I wrote to my mother's brother, The Earl of White, Lord Abernathy, and prevailed upon him to assist us with our debt to the new Viscount Seam, Cato Billings. Mr. Billings was reportedly my sixth cousin twice removed although we had never met. My Uncle agreed to pay our debt to the Viscount and his family, allowing us to remain in Seam House as tenants. We did not have the proper funds to maintain it, but Seam House was still our home and we were happy to remain there.
"Where have you gone, my darling?" Peeta said as he kissed the side of my head.
"I beg your pardon. I was wool gathering."
"No apologies needed. I am quiet content to hold you like this all night." He rubbed his fingers over my cheek and I closed my eyes as I melted into the warmth of him. When I was in Peeta's arms nothing seemed too large to overcome.
"Would you care to tell me your thoughts?" he asked, placing a kiss on my exposed collarbone.
"I think of you. How much you have helped me. Saved me."
"It is you who have saved me. I had little happiness in my life before you, Katniss. You're my Sun, my moon, and my stars. I measure the days by the next time I get to be in your company." He placed a kiss on my lips.
"Do you believe she will force you to attend Oxford?"
"She forced me to attend Eton and I still managed to outwit her there, have I not?"
Although Peeta did indeed attend Eton, he would often sneak away for extended holidays without the school or his mother's knowledge. When his mother was in London, which was thankfully most of the season, he would stay at his family's country estate. On the rare occasion when his mother was in residence at Baker Castle he would sleep in a guestroom at Seam House or in the stables, depending on the lucidity of my mother.
"But Oxford is even farther than Eton," I complained.
"I will find my way to you. The worst she can do to us is cause delay. Nothing will keep me from you, Katniss. We are meant to be together." He rested his forehead on mine. All of our talk of waiting and delays made me angry. I wanted Peeta. What we had was whole and pure. I did not give a fig for society's opinion. Then why did I uphold their proprieties? I loved him. If I were to give myself to Peeta it would not make me a loose woman or ruined in any way. So why did we resist?
My body began to tilt as Peeta brought us to our sides. Our eyes were level and Peeta brought our mouths together once more. I took his hand in mine and guided it along my body. I brought his hand beneath my skirts.
"Free me?" I begged. He rewarded me with a shy smile. His fingers gently pulled on the strings of my drawers. I craved to be completely unbound in his presence. The thought of us skin to skin was something that I had dreamt of since we had started our exploration of each other over a year ago.
My mouth widened as his warm hand enveloped my bare thigh. His touch infused me with heat and left chills in his wake.
"Peeta… I need... something…please." I writhed against him until he brought his hand to my center.
"I will take care of you, my love. I promise." Peeta's fingertips whispered over my sensitive bud. It teased me and set me afire. "Always ready for me," he whispered with a seductive kiss to my neck. His torture continued as he added more pressure circling everywhere but where I needed him most. I reached for his trousers and placed my palm against his stiffened flesh.
"Please," I moaned. Peeta obliged me. He filled me with his fingers as he brought his thumb directly to the space that makes me cry out in ecstasy. He set a slow and methodical pace that had the waves of pleasure growing inside of me.
"Say my name," he breathed into my ear before gently biting the lobe.
"Peeta," I moaned. His name turned into a prayer. A chant. I repeated it over and over until his name left my lips in a moan of ecstasy as waves of satisfaction crashed over me. I shook as the last vestiges of my release left my body.
"You are the most beautiful creature I've ever seen." He kissed my temple as I drifted back down to earth.
"Please. I need you. Please do not make me wait any longer." I whimpered as he placed warm kisses upon my face.
"Katniss, You cannot know how difficult this is for me-"
"Please love. You possess me, heart and soul. I wish for my body to belong to you as well."
"You deserve to be loved properly. With a bed after I've spent hours making love to your every limb, after I've kissed every spot on your body."
"I need you now. Soon you will going to leave me again and I will be alone. Leave me this memory and take with you another piece of me." He kissed me, long and hard. I could feel his excitement upon my thigh and I craved to release him.
"We must be careful."
"I will do whatever you tell me." I replied. Peeta nodded solemnly. This was not merely a romp in the hay for him. We loved each other and the fear of hurting the other was enough to give him pause.
With careful fingers Peeta began to untie the laces at my back. With every newly exposed bit of flesh he would pause to taste me. By the time he had released the last stay, I was ready for him. Every hair on my body was raised in awareness of our proximity. I wished to devour him, to crawl beneath his skin and never leave that wonderful place. His warm hands spread the pieces of the garment farther and farther apart. The night air was refreshing against my heated skin. But the fire burned too strong to be put out by a cool spring evening. I turned to face him and removed my arms from my sleeves allowing the garment to drop. It was not the first time he had seen me but his face still showed the same emotions, awe and desire. He took my mouth with his as his hand reached for my breast. I cried into his mouth as his fingers closed around the peak.
"So beautiful." His voice was quiet. His tone was one reserved only for church. When I told him so he laughed. "Then I will have to worship you."
His mouth moved down my exposed neck to my chest. I cried out when his tongue found the pink flesh of my nipple. He gently suckled and bit down until both of my hands held him to me. When he moved to the other, the process began again. But it was not enough. I needed to feel him. I wanted to give him the love and pleasure he was always so generous to give me.
"Let me feel you," I pleaded.
But, I did not wait for his permission. My hand moved to the bracings on his trousers. I tentatively took a button in my fingers and drew it through the fabric. I repeated the process until his trousers were loose enough for me to gain access. When I took his member in my hand he took a sharp inhale of air. His moan told me everything I needed to know. He wanted this more than I did. I moved my hand up and down his length, the way he had shown me he favours. I loved the feel of him in my hands. I was awed by the smooth skin that felt as though it had been tightened over steel. I wanted to know what he would feel like inside of my body or inside of my mouth. When another moan escaped him, I lowered his trousers until the wet, rounded tip was exposed to my eyes. I hovered over him and took a slow tentative lick of the flesh with my tongue.
"Katniss! Sweet- Holy-" I took his flustered state as a compliment and repeated the action. His hips jutted towards me, as though of there own volition. I opened my mouth wider and enclosed the head inside. "That's- That feels unbelievable." His breathed slowly, in and out in time with my movements. I moved my head lower to take in more of him. When I hollowed my cheeks, he cried out and his hands buried themselves in my hair. I pulled up quickly, instantly nervous of the gesture but his hands stroked my hair and calmed me. When I reached the tip of his shaft again I did not release him. Instead I went back down attempting to fit even more of him inside of me. The low grunts and quiet moan he released had liquid flooding to my entry. I wanted to rub myself against him and allow him to bring us both to fulfillment. He must have felt the same for the next words he spoke were "We must stop if we are to continue." He pulled time close, bringing our faces level once more.
"Did I not understand? I thought you were enjoying-" I began.
"I did enjoy it, immensely. But I do not wish to finish this night before it has begun." He kissed me deeply and I wondered if he was able to taste himself on my tongue.
"I do not wish that either." Acting with a boldness I only felt in his presence, I reached for his shirt and pulled it above his head. He allowed me a full glimpse of his beautiful chest. I ran my fingers over it as he rid himself of his trousers. He assisted me from the dress that had pooled around my waist, and then we rolled, smiling and squeezing until I was on my back and he between my legs. When our flesh aligned, I thought for the first time that this must be what it felt like to stand on the doorsteps to heaven, to be so close to perfection that I am able to feed off of the beauty of it all. His warmth, my warmth, close but not close enough. He drew his hand down and took his member in his hand and guided it along my opening.
"You are sure?" he asked.
"Please Peeta. Yes, I'm sure. Please." I moaned and begged, as his bare hardened flesh sliding along my entry forced my back to arch. My body welcomed him.
He nodded and kissed me passionately pouring his love into the kiss. I opened to him as he pushed inside. The first penetration was immediately foreign to me. The sensation of being stretched took me momentarily from the moment. Peeta moved his lips from mine and began to suck on my pulse point. It elicited a moan from me and my body instinctually took him further. He paused when it felt as though he had reached a barrier.
"This will hurt. But only the first time. I will spend the rest of my life making sure you only ever feel pleasure after this night. I swear it." He kissed me again. Just as I began to lose myself in the kiss and relax in his hold, he pushed through my innocence and with one swift and hard thrust he buried himself to the hilt. I cried out, as much in surprise as from the pain. Peeta stilled above me and caressed my face and my hair. His lips did not cease to kiss my neck and whisper to me.
"You feel like something our of a dream."
I couldn't agree. The ache between my legs had grown into a throbbing pain. Yet, I longed for more. My breath was shallow and my body tense.
"Do you want me to stop?"
"No. No, please keep going." He pulled out slightly and pushed again. Although I was sore, a feeling of pleasure swept through me as he repeated the motion. He kissed me harder and I gripped his shoulders with my hands. As he moved, I fell into a wonderful rhythm that soon had me moaning my pleasure and craving something stronger then I could name. It was more than a release. It was a pinnacle of physical love. He hovered above me as we exchanged hard breaths. He looked into my eyes and I knew that this was it. This was everything I had hoped it would be and more. He not only took from me but gave all of himself in return.
"I can't hold on," Peeta groaned. I began to fall into my release just before he pulled away from me and spilled his seed on my stomach. It was hot and although I had seen it before never had I felt it. There was something strangely erotic about touching it.
"I apologize. You felt too wonderful and I could not hold on long enough to-"
I brought my hands to his lips and made a shushing sound. "It was perfect. I cherished every minute of it."
He kissed my lips quickly and then gave me once last peck on my forehead. He leaned behind him and picked up his undergarments before bringing them over to me and delicately wiping himself from my skin. Without the weight of him on top of me the cool night air brought shivers to my skin.
"You are cold."
"A little." My smile was shy and I was curious to its origin. I was not normally a shy person especially not around Peeta.
"I suppose I will simply have to warm you." He laid down beside me once and drew the blanket over us as much as possible. He moved the stray locks from my face and looked deeply into my eyes.
"I will never forget this night. My punishment will be how long I must wait until I can have you again."
"That is punishment for us both."
"Then you shall allow me to prove myself?"
"As many times as it takes." I bit my lip. He seemed surprise by my outburst.
"That is it you minx." I squealed as he tickled me beneath the moonlight.
'Never have I been this happy." I thought in that moment. 'And the best is yet to come."
If only I had been right.
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