stuttering thoughts i can't breathe

Description: And he can't think- why can't he think- if he thinks he can fix- he can rebuild-

Jay is tired, his hands shake when he moves wires around, and he doesn't want to sleep- he doesn't want to rest-

He can't stop, not when he's so close-

The programming really should go to Nya but it's working-

It doesn't sound like-

It doesn't look like-

But it is, it has to be-

All around his desk, there are bottles of canned coffee, drunk lukewarm and thrown aside cold, broken pencils and spots of ink where pens exploded, and- and a-

He can't think. He can't think. He needs to think, stop getting distracted-

A broken blue eye stares up at him from his desk-

His head is buzzing, it's hot and he can't stop-

The door makes a krick noise as it goes forward and it slashes through Jay's mind, he swivels around-

"Jay," someone says, a someone who has blonde hair and for a second Jay can trick himself into thinking that-

"I knew that you weren't-" Jay starts to speak, eyes just barely misty, they can't cry anymore they're so dry-

"Jay," that person says again, and the voice breaks his heart all over again because he's back, he's not gone- "please."

Then the person walks up to him, and with a sharp movement he doesn't realize is happening until it's over, takes him up in a hug. Then Jay's mind clears just barely, just barely enough to hug back and cry. He breathes in the scent, the scent he can't trick himself into thinking is the smell of the warm kitchen and sage, he takes in the feeling of warm, warm hands and a warm, warm body that isn't always cold and freezing and-

He hugs Lloyd, Lloyd with an empty look on his face, Lloyd who holds just barely holds him in his loose grip, and closes his eyes.

The other tightens his grip, just barely, on the back of his shirt, and Jay falls into sleep, still crying as though dragged into it by claws, then Lloyd is a man with a tighter grip, a grip that promises to never let him go, and he has the smile, the one that Jay just can't make in his workshop-

He doesn't want to wake up in a world without this.