Please Note: This is the rewrite of Chapter 3.

-Raggs

"When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty." - W. C. Fields

A tingling sensation traveled slowly up Loki's trembling limbs. His breath shuddered in a vain attempt to calm the anxiety attacks he had become familiar with in his youth. The feeling caused his stomach to clench and flip as he swayed atop the metal bed. His eyes searched the room lazily, wondering how long it had been since Thor had left him. Loki found himself, despite the sickness he now felt, longing to lack his uncanny ability to detect lies.

Thor lied, Loki swallowed, scrutinizing the floor beneath him. And he brushed it off as though it were nothing. As if he forgets who he is speaking too.

In the days he had spent in the white room, though he knew not how many, Loki had noticed a gradual improvement on his head and arm wounds. The various bruises and scratches from the battle Dr. Banner mentioned had faded quickly. Loki had also noticed strange, mangled white lines on various areas of his body. Scars on his back and shoulders, his legs and one on his foot. He chose not to bring them up to Thor or Dr. Banner, knowing they would provide no straight answers.

Now his arms began to tremble less, and his mind felt less scrambled. His breath calmed, though the numbness remained. Loki's green eyes flickered up to the door that lay across the room from him as it clicked slowly open. His eyes drifted up to meet the blue eyes of the female agent striding tensley towards him.

"Agent Romanoff," he murmured in greeting.

The red-haired agent nodded tersely at him with pursed lips. "Follow me." She held out a hand towards him.

Loki stared at her hand, confused, gently taking it when she stretched it towards him. He held onto it a moment, gathering himself onto his feet, and followed the agent down the corridor. Loki glanced behind him, surprised to see no guards behind him. Looking forward again, he felt dizzy, and focused on the long red waves bouncing in front of him to keep himself up.

Agent Romanoff stopped in front of a locked door at the opposite end of the hall from where Loki's room was.

No trust in anyone, these Midgardians, Loki decided as he watched the agent unlock the metal door. What, with all the locked doors and guards around here.

A soft click was heard, and Agent Romanoff let herself into the room, turning to face Loki as he carefully walked forward. He felt his heart skip when he saw the Midgardians around the table.

I must know them all… Loki stared at them, meeting eyes with Thor, who smiled lightly and looked away. The… Uneasiness, almost, when I see them.

The room was rather small, and the walls and floor were the same dark grey, and a metallic silver table with six matching stools was stationed in the middle. Looking towards the back of the tiny room, Loki felt himself flinch and his stomach lurched. He involuntarily raised his injured arm in defense against the archer who had shot it, taking a step back to the already closed door. The man eyed Loki , looking away when their eyes met.

Loki's mouth opened slightly as he forced his eyes to leave the archer, and he gazed at the four people sitting around the table. They all gazed back, though their expressions were more that of tired men, who couldn't be less interested in the man they brought to the room.

Straightening up, Loki swallowed nervously and greeted Thor and Dr. Banner. The two nodded politely back, watching Loki as he tried to ignore the gaze of the archer. Hearing the click of the door behind him, Loki shifted fluidly to the side, avoiding the metal slab as it opened.

"What did you call me here f─" Director Fury stopped short, seeing Loki shuffle quietly into the dark corner of the room. Loki saw the smallest snarl pull at the corner of the director's mouth, but it vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

"We were hoping," Natasha looked at her superior apathetically, "that you could assist us. It was decided, apparently, that we should… Help… Him."

Director Fury raised an eyebrow, and the archer grunted. Natasha turned to look at the man.

Meeting Natasha's eyes, Clint said, "I'm not helping him." Loki watched him, wondering what he had done so that the man now refused to look at him.

Not making a comment on Clint's objection, Natasha turned back to Fury, tilting her head slightly to the side.

"How do you suppose you'll all help him?" Fury asked, looking past Natasha to Loki in the dark corner.

"Initially, we decided to just stay here," Dr. Banner said.

"Not we," a dark-eyed man next to Dr. Banner piped up, raising his index finger at the doctor and the director.

Loki squinted, reading the dark grey shirt. The words, "Black Sabbath," meant nothing to him, and he turned his attention back to the man's face.

"There was no 'we' in the decision. It was all these two," he motioned back and forth between Dr. Banner and a blonde man in a battered blue, white, and red uniform. The blonde man scowled at the Black Sabbath man.

"But," Banner, continued, lowering the dark-eyed man's hand, "I thought it could help to have him away from S.H.I.E.L.D.."

Director Fury opened his mouth to reply, but the archer spoke before his superior could.

"There is no way in hell he's leaving this place," he said, halting at the back of the room. "S.H.I.E.L.D. is the only place that we can safely keep him without risking anything."

Loki's brow furrowed at the floor as he listened to the agents.

Banner rubbed his hair back, sighing. "It might be helpful to him to be in a less-stressful or strange environment. And to not be treated like a criminal."

"He is a criminal," the blonde man stated plainly.

"He doesn't remember what he did, though," Banner said, turning to look at the blonde man, "and if we treat him like a criminal, he'll think he is, and lapse back into that behaviour."

The archer sighed, staring at the center of the table.

"And maybe if he has someone ─ people who know not to treat him like a criminal ─ he'd turn out better this time around. Plus," Banner continued, "it might actually be beneficial to help him remember."

"Then we will," Fury growled.

"In a better environment," Banner retorted.

"Where exactly do you have in mind?"

Loki and the others all started, seeming to have forgotten for a moment that Romanoff was in the room. They looked at her, and she gazed back expectantly.

"S-Stark tower," Bruce stammered, glancing between Romanoff and the dark-eyed man.

"Didn't you say it would be better for him to remember on his own?" said the archer, narrowing his eyes at Banner. Fury turned on the doctor now as well, and Loki bit his lip in irritation as he watched them.

Banner stood, straightening his shirt collar. "Yes, at first," he looked at the archer and then to Loki, "But because of the monitoring we've done of him this past week, and what he's told us─well, told Thor─of his memories, he's only remembering fragments and distorted details of the actual events. It could turn out being detrimental to his recovery if the details aren't in proper place.

Thor shifted in his seat.

Loki's jaw twitched as he stared at his brother. Looking up at the other people in the room, he narrowed his eyes.

"May I ask," everyone looked up at the younger prince's sudden interjection. Loki felt his voice tremble slightly, and he told himself it was from lack of use.

Speak, though your voice may shake, he reminded himself, swallowing as he continued.

"Who are you all to decide whether or not I need you help? Or your shelter?" Loki swallowed again, raising an eyebrow at them, scanning their faces. Vague ideas of who they were to him began to form in his mind, and he couldn't help but blink quickly, as if just having entered bright light. Loki felt himself so close to remembering them all, these people who seemed to hate him, to putting names and experiences and feelings to their uneasy and angered faces.

Who are you to me?

The dark-eyed man─Black Sabbath man, Loki thought him to be─huffed as he stood. Loki eyed him closely as the man clapped a calloused hand onto Loki's bony shoulder.

"Trust me, if we told you who we are, you wouldn't like it," Sabbath-man grinned sarcastically at him.

Loki narrowed his eyes at the man, tilting his head to the side. The man was, however slightly, visibly trembling, and his eyes almost had a distant glaze to them. Loki pulled away, and the man snorted.

He wears a mask.

The archer began pacing again at the back of the small room, shooting glances at Loki each time he turned on his heel.

"Well, Thor…?" Banner said, turning to the golden prince, as if waiting for him to finally speak. Thor looked up, giving a faint smile, which faded as he slowly turned to Loki.

Loki eyed his brother. Since when has Thor ever befriended those not of worthy blood, let alone Midgardians? He tilted his head, swallowing when he noticed all eyes had been set on him now.

"What have you remembered, Loki?"

Loki bit his lip, staring at Thor for a moment before speaking.

Loki shuddered, and his limbs began to shake again, and he felt as though he could not breath. He stared at Thor's eyes, but he didn't quite see his brother standing in front of him.

I… My entire life has been a mirage. A growl began to rumble in his throat, but cut off when Thor placed his hands very gently onto Loki's knees as they sat across from each other. His eyes slowly lifted to meet his brother's sullen gaze. "I… I-I'm a─"

"No," Thor said, cutting Loki off before he could utter the word. "No, Loki… No…"

Loki swallowed staring at Thor's blue eyes, searching them. But Thor looked down.

"I know all too well what you were to say, Loki, what that word would come to mean to you…" Thor bit his lip, and Loki ducked his head slightly to look at his face. Both brothers trembled. "I know how it would eat you away until your mind was filled with nothing but towering lies and lurking darkness. Please, Loki… Don't say that. Don't think that."

Monster, Loki thought defiantly, feeling a shiver roll down his spine.

As Loki tried to calm his shuddering breath, he remembered the others standing in the room, all watching him with hidden surprise. Each stared at him silently, and Loki glanced quickly between each of them. The Sabbath-man looked almost understanding, Loki noted. Romanoff looked at the brothers apathetically, blinking slowly, and the archer had taken to leaning against the corner opposite of Loki, his eyes forever narrowed towards the younger prince. Banner had placed his head on top of his laced together fingers and watch Loki silently, as did the blonde man. Director Fury had pulled up some sort of screen and was silently reading it, making side glances to Loki every two seconds. Loki turned back to Thor, ignoring the others as he tried to speak to his brother.

"But… Thor, father─Odin, he…" His words came out choked, and his throat felt tight, as if he might cry.

One of Thor's hands lifted from Loki's knees and hovered above his shoulder. He pressed his lips together before speaking. "He fell into the Odinsleep, Loki. You did nothing wrong. I… I'm unsure of all of the details, as I was still on Midgard at the time, but… I do know that you had done nothing to harm him. You had done nothing wrong. Loki, you were only angry, and confused."

"And scared," he whispered.

Thor did not hear him. He bit his lip as Loki felt his eyes begin to sting. Glancing around as he swallowed back the tears, Loki saw how taken aback the group was by his show of his emotion. He made a quiet sniffle, glancing at the ground.

"Brother, Thor, I─I'm so s-sorry, I─" Loki said quietly, tripping over his words.

I would never have… I couldn't have done that. Lying to Thor… About father, Odin, attacking Midgard…

"What happened after you ret-turned? To Asgard?" Loki asked, glancing between Thor and the floor.

He could hear Thor's breath hitch slightly as his blue eyes fell to his lap, where he now held Loki's hands in his warm, rough fingers. "Another memory," the golden prince finally breathed, "for another time." The words were, despite the horrible silence that filled the tiny room, barely audible to Loki.

"Well," the Sabbath-man said, clapping his hands together loudly after a silence that lasted, apparently, too long. All but Agent Romanoff and the Archer jumped. "I suppose it's high time that we introduce, or, correction, reintroduce, ourselves." Loki watched him stepped forward, extending a hand. "I'm Tony Stark." Loki stared blankly at his extended palm for a moment before the dark-eyed man pulled it back and swiveled on his heel, pulling a screen up out of the air. Loki stared, baffled, at the screen as it followed Stark out of the room. The door shut, and only then did Loki realize that Fury was gone as well. He turned back to face Thor and the others, his hands shaking slightly as Thor gave his hands a reassuring squeeze.

Loki could feel his hesitation.

The group had, excluding Stark, moved to a bigger room upon request from the team. Bruce and Thor sat in chairs across from Loki, explaining things that were, apparently, more common or only found on, Earth.

Clint stared at Banner and Thor, an eyebrow raised. He watched Loki's mannerisms, his twitches, his ticks. Shaking his head, he tried to dismiss his doubts that it wasn't an act.

He has to be putting this up. Clint sighed. He didn't know why Loki would go through all this trouble, but there had to be a reason for it, and he would not begin to trust Loki anytime soon. Or ever.

Clint was jolted from his thoughts by Natasha with a hard poke to the ribs.

"Hey!" he shouted, covering up his side with a stretched out hand.

Natasha raised an eyebrow at him, smirking as searched his eyes. "I told you," she murmured smoothly, "just leave it alone."

Clint snorted in reply before straightening up and moving silently out of the room.

Loki inhaled deeply through his nose, eyes darting back and forth underneath closed eyelids. Hearing a pair of boots begin walking through the room, his eyes sprung open flitted around the room. Agent Barton and Agent Romanoff had both left the room, though he wasn't sure when. Looking in the direction of the sound of boots now, Loki saw Steve, the blonde man, standing next to Dr. Banner by what they had told him was a coffee maker. The Captain saw Loki turn to them, and gave the prince a friendly smile. Loki nodded tentatively back, catching the uncertainty in the other man's smile.

Watching as Steve turned back to the machine and began whispering to Banner, Loki strained his ears slightly to catch their whispers.

"He hasn't made a noise since Thor told ─"

"Yes, I understand that, Steve, but ─ needs to be ─ slowly. It might be ─ much for him at once."

Steve nodded, saying something that Loki didn't catch.

"Yes, I understand, Steve, but ─ Don't think Tony would ─ let alone Fury."

The captain's lips pursed and he looked at the ground, his eyes searching the tile for something Loki could not see, his brow knit together tightly with concentration.

Thor was, Loki now realized, gone as well. Loki found himself a bit let down by this, having expected his brother to stay with him a while longer, considering his new, seemingly kinder and more caring ways.

His long possessed ways, Loki reminded himself. He blinked, squinting at at his hands. Perhaps he left because he thinks of me what he would not allow me to say… Loki took in a deep breath, blinking again. A monster. And a disgrace. The pain in the back of his head began to return, and he lifted a shaky hand to touch the rough bandages encasing the injury. As he did so, another pain started making it's way from his head, to his arms, down to his toes. A strange feeling, painful but distant. He screwed his eyes shut against it. Shaking his head slightly, his mind drifted back to his previous thoughts.

No, I'm a loyal Asgardian… Aren't I?

Shaking his head as if tossing the thoughts from his mind, Loki looked back up. Bruce was wiping his hands down his face, blatantly frustrated. The captain poured some strange smelling, dark brown liquid that Loki assumed was whatever coffee might be, from the coffee maker into two mugs and handed one to Bruce, taking the second over to where Loki sat. Loki quickly shook his head, despite the dryness of his mouth, and Steve stopped. Bowing his head to show thanks to the captain for the gesture, Loki pretended to return to his own thoughts, silent. Steve lingered for a moment longer before returning to Bruce and placing the extra mug onto the counter, leaving it untouched.

"I know it's a longshot, but this guy could ─ the help." Steve whispered after a moment. "We could at ─ try."

Bruce exhaled deeply, resting his forehead against the heel of his palm and his elbow on the countertop, nodding exasperatedly. "I guess so," he said quietly. Standing back up, he looked at Loki and smiled slightly. "I will be right back, Loki. I need to talk to the others." Loki nodded, letting his eyes fall to his lap as Bruce left the room.

There was a long silent moment after Bruce left the captain and the prince in the room before Steve pulled himself into one of the chairs that sat discarded across from Loki. "So," he sighed, smiling heartily. "How you holding up?"

This man is so kind, Loki noted, giving a crooked, tight-lipped smile in return, allowing his eyes to fall back to his lap.

Another silent moment passed.

"You haven't made a noise since Thor told you everything." Steve continued suddenly. "He's pretty worried about how you're taking it all, you know?"

"I…" Loki's brow furrowed slightly, running the memories through his mind again. "I'm fine, I think," he said, glancing between his pale hands and the captain.

Steve watched Loki for a moment, and Loki felt himself begin to grow slightly uneasy.

"You haven't got to worry about how Thor feels about it all, you know? He hasn't stopped… loving you, and caring about you since he found out. I think he might even have started to care more, after he saw how much it hurt you the first time," Steve patted Loki lightly on his uninjured shoulder.

Loki felt the urge to shrug the man's hand away, but found that he felt some comfort by the gesture. He let his eyes meet Steve's, and smiled.

Steve smiled back, not realizing how the prince feigned his acceptance.