A Strange Adventure: Big Mac The Bounty Hunter

By NocturneD

Note: Yay!

Chapter 3

"Good job every pony." Big Mac smiled. "Our first criminal has been apprehended and we got our bits."

"Makes it all seem worth it." Apple Jack smirked as she drove the car around town.

"Ya'll each earn one hundred bits. Going to spend the last one hundred on dinner tonight for all four of us!" Big Mac sorted through the envelope which the money came in.

"Well that's very nice of you big Macintosh." Cheerilee smiled.

"To the Old Country Buffet we go!" Big Mac instructed.

Apple Jack rounded the corner and started their way to the buffet. The cowgirl found a good parking spot... in the main lobby. Yes she crashed the SUV into the restaurant, glass everywhere and a dead old pony underneath the tire. Big Mac paid for the four of them and they waited in line. Unfortunately the four were waiting behind a group of old ponies that were sneezing all over the food despite the sneeze guard being there. It did a horrible job.

Cheerilee cringed, "I don't think I'll want macaroni and cheese."

And no one had macaroni and cheese for dinner.

They ate about thirty plates of food and stacked them all over the damn floor like a bunch of animals. No pun intended. Apple Jack and Cheerilee walked over to the ice cream dispenser for some dessert. Taking two small bowls, Apple Jack had chocolate while Cheerilee decided on a vanilla and chocolate swirl. Big Mac wanted ice cream too, but too bad because the machine was broken by the time he got up there. The girls ate happily while cousin Braeburn was too busy looking at the writing on the bathroom wall.

"For a good time. Call Rarity 555..." Braeburn wrote down the number.

Later that night, the Apple family took Cheerilee home. They all had a bunch of unruly fun. Unfortunately she had to teach the next day because it was a school day. She walked inside her house and instantly took the balloons out of her shirt. She sighed and relaxed. It was fun, but too damn risky. She took a nice long relaxing sexy shower. She rubbed soap all over her sexy body in a slow sexual way. It was so sexy. Did I mention that it was sexy? No? Well here it is. Cheerilee washed her sexy hair and let the water spread all over her sexy body. God I sound like a pervert now don't I?

The next day. Big Mac was dragging his big sexy ass all over Ponyville again. He thought long and hard... and sexually about his next step. If he wanted to be a famous bounty hunter, he needed a television recording crew. But the big stupid sexy dumb ass didn't know any pony who had experience in multimedia. He wandered into the library to see that Spike and Twilight were going at it like rabbits again. Ever since Spike found out that Rarity was a prostitute to support her drug habit, he was devastated. Rarity said she'll sleep with any pony, just not dragons. This devastated Spike where he sent himself into a downward spiral of drinking. Then Twilight bent over one day while looking for a book, Spike as a horny drunk dragon took this chance. Twilight at first objected but down right loved it. By at this time you wonder why I'm talking about Spike giving Twilight a rim job. Because I need to add filler to this story to make it seem bigger. Meanwhile Twilight's stupid owl was overdosing himself on aspirin and choked himself to death. No pony cared for that damn owl.

Big Mac walked up to Spike after he climaxed into Twilight for the billionth time. "Spike I need you to do a favor for me?"

"Sure Big Mac. What do you need?" The baby dragon looked up at the stallion.

"I need you to follow me and my crew around with a camera as we catch bad guys." Big Mac explained.

"How much?" Spike asked.

"About fifteen percent of the reward money." Mac answered.

"Well I need condoms if I'm going to play it safe." Spike smiled.

"But aren't you screwing Twilight?" Mac asked as he looked at the purple unicorn trying to catch her breath. "And only her?"

"Oh yeah." Spike pondered, "Well we don't want baby dragon ponies yet."

Twilight stood up and blushed, "Um about that. Spike..."

Spike looked up at Big Mac, "Can I have twenty percent?"

Macintosh thought about the bad guy from Tron for some reason then shook his head in agreement. "Well sure." They shook on it.

Meanwhile at school...

Cheerilee had a very special guest today for bring your family in or whatever day. It was Rarity. And she explained her new job working down at Hooters wearing orange shorts and serving male ponies chicken wings. Rarity explained that her job doesn't maker her a whore, she is a whore on her own free will. She also had another job where she danced at a few stallion clubs at night where she danced for money. She tried to demonstrate her dancing on Snails who happened to be sitting in the front row. But Cheerilee stopped her. Ever since Rarity tried to set her own store on fire for the insurance money only to find out she never had any insurance, really hit her hard. Out of nowhere Scootaloo threw a taco at the wall. Sweetie got mad and farted so loud on her metal chair.

Later that day. Big Mac rounded up the crew again and decided to eat at Hooters where Rarity worked. Their next target was prince Blue Blood, his reward was even greater. But was deemed almost untouchable. But there he was, Blue Blood sitting with his body guards enjoying some chicken wings. Big Mac wasted no time by going to the table and try to make an arrest. The body guards stood up ready for a fight. Apple Jack came in and took down one body guard, Cheerilee the other. Big Mac maced Blue Blood for the hell of it. Braeburn just stood there and ate Blue Bloods chicken wings.

"Oh my!" Rarity showed her tight fitting orange shorts. Oh sorry, I meant to say that she was surprised by Big Mac taking down Blue Blood. Meh... no go back to the shorts. Spike was tapping all of this successfully. Blue Blood squealed like a bitch. Braeburn kept eating his chicken wings.

Big Mac finally cuffed Blue Blood and his body guards went off to report this. Untouchable my ass. He slammed the prince's head into the car door before putting him in. Apple Jack drove as usual but forgot to take the parking brake off while she drove. Thus resulting in her messing up the brakes. And they paid for it by crashing into the police precinct. Big Mac continued like usual and got the money.

It was a fun night. Spike went home and made love to Twilight Sparkle. Big Mac stayed over Cheerilee's house and made love to her. Braeburn and Apple Jack pretty much drank beer all night and paid Rarity to dance for them then they had a threesome. Pretty much every pony made love to every pony. Except Snips... he was god damn ugly with those eyebrows of his.

To be continued... please review... *Wink*

Note: blah blah blah. i don't give a damn.