I almost die from exhaustion D8 Dang my classes will start tomorrow, and with the pile of works waiting arrrghh ~*claws the wall*
Ahem, but I'm not going to complain about my busy life here ~.~ Ugh wish I were Chizuru, I would gladly take Saito as my husband! Ah anyway, thank you for all your nice reviews! They always make me smile and I often read them over and over again when I'm stressed out XD
Marialena, ugh yeah that's the way Saito is, sometimes I wish him to be a little warmer.
Lily, this chapter is for ya! ;D
Akaki, lol wish Chizuru kick some sense into Saito's head and make him fall in love with her! XD
mtnikolle, there's still a long way to go before that mystery is unveiled :P it's a detective story after all!...Err did I just say 'detective'? O_O *so off topic*
Kit2000, lalala I know you love weddings! So this is the wedding chapter! Although it's not a very beautiful one XD *read: angsty*
AnonymousGuest, hope you like this new chapter! XD
Akiko88, hello again! The things will develop one step at a time ;D
Okayyy~ please enjoy this update! Honestly I wrote this in hurry...so forgive me if it's a little bit boring ~.~
BLURRED KALEIDOSCOPE
CHAPTER 3: MARRIAGE
Her eyes had betrayed her when they opened up against their owner's will.
Why did she have to wake up? Even though she tried to accept her sorrowful destiny wholeheartedly, she had silently wished for this day to never come.
Leaving the warmth and comfort the thick blanket offered, Chizuru got up from the futon and needed several minutes to finally reach out a hand and take the elaborate pure-white kimono, also some hair accessories from the cabinet.
A wedding day was every girl's wish, and now one dream had come true. Some were lucky enough to marry the men they really chose and loved. On the other hand, lots of young women in samurai era didn't have opportunity to do such thing...Hence they were trapped in arranged marriages, like Chizuru's condition now.
Still, it was actually not that bad. Arranged marriages were common, and usually the love would bloom by itself since you would see the same husband everyday, prepare meals for him, wait for him every night after an exhausting working day, and have some adorable children who would complete your happiness as a woman.
Had you ever felt that way? Like, the first time you sat by your husband's side on the wedding day, thinking like 'I barely knew him a few days ago! It's gonna be hell!' Yet little by little, slowly but sure, he started to show some affection, and you felt the same...Didn't you think it was amazing? Please don't think of an arranged marriage as a careless occassion. As its name stated, it was arranged very thoughtfully and only held by honored family, to bring advantages for both sides...maybe the reason was pretty different in Chizuru's case. But nevertheless, her wedding was planned by Lord Katamori himself, a man who held the highest position in the entire Aizu Clan. Not to mention, her husband was Saito Hajime, a well-known captain of the elite force, Shinsengumi.
And since an arranged marriage was supposed to bring good purpose, you would never—or rarely find a husband who was going to do some violence at home. No, this kind of bond was different from a forceful rape. It was a regarded thing planned by the entire family, and your husband didn't want to ruin his own parents—or lord's reputation, did he?
A ghost of smile lined Chizuru's lips as she was lost in these thoughts. She understood that she was just trying to soothe her broken-self. But in the deepest heart, she really hoped that all the pleasant things of an arranged marriage she often heard would happen in her life as well...
...Although the first impression of her husband was the worst she could ever imagine.
Looking around at her surroundings, Chizuru exhaled heavily. Tonight she was going to leave this guest room and move to that emotionless you-know-who's bedroom...then present herself to him.
However, as if her already pitiful fate was mocking her, suddenly Kodo called her from outside. When Chizuru stepped out of her room, Kodo told her to pack up her stuff quickly and move to Saito's room right away, because they couldn't afford Chizuru to be alone while the others were preparing the wedding. Even though Shinsengumi Headquarters was the safest place they could ever think of, they couldn't risk even a tiniest chance to lose the last pureblood female oni—the fact that made Chizuru often feel stressed out.
"But, Father..." Chizuru walked hesitantly besides Kodo as they went closer to that certain room, "Isn't Saito-san in his room? As far as I'm concerned, the tradition doesn't let the groom to see me before I reach the main hall."
Kodo tilted his head to the side and smiled upon seeing his daughter's uneasy expression, "Don't worry, Saito is in another room right now. The others helped him to dress up at the moment."
Chizuru only nodded in relief, not realizing that there was no difference between staying in the guest room or Saito's this morning. There was no other person who would watch over her, after all.
But when she entered Saito's neat room—and somehow felt Kodo smirking in sly manner when he left, Chizuru just realized the truth in her father's other statement. That was right, wedding kimonos were a pain. Even the male one needed several people to help the groom dressing up...And now, she was all alone, with an elaborate and obviously more difficult-to-wear kimono.
Chizuru started to panic, but she managed to calm herself down several minutes later. She knew that Aizu Clan had sponsored this wedding occasion, because they wanted Chizuru to have at least a memorable wedding day, instead of forcing her to give herself to Saito without any proper ritual—which was actually easier for them.
That was why she tried to be grateful...But since it was a secret marriage, she knew that Aizu Clan couldn't afford outsiders to know about it at all...which meant there was no any other women who could help her to wear that pain-in-the-ass kimono. If they made too many ruckus about this wedding, Satcho Clan's spies would surely know and kidnap her, then force her to marry Kazama instead.
Oh well, marriage, marriage, what else? Suddenly she felt like being in the confusing maze where two biggest clans wanted to unite her with one of their men. Was she really that popular or what?
Whatever. Slowly, she slid the door open and wish Kodo was still there to help her. But what welcomed her was only an awkward silence within the empty hallway, so she closed it again and started to undress herself, praying that everything would end up well.
Facing the beautiful silky kimono she was going to wear, Chizuru's fingertips felt the luxurious softness on it...and the girl was wondering of how expensive it was. Lord of Aizu was truly something.
Not willing to tear the silky fabric off, Chizuru lifted it up very carefully and began to wrap her petite figure. It was the first time she wore such soft and velvety clothes and felt like being a true woman. Maybe this wedding was not really that bad...perhaps she was just thinking too much...
As the young maiden smiled to herself while trying to stay positive, somehow there was a gust of chilly wind touched her back. But she didn't care about that, it was the beginning of the spring and the cold weather was just normal...
...Wait, how could there was an abrupt wind when she had surely closed the door without leaving even a small gap?
"What are you doing here?"
Like she was choked by her own spit, a great surprise struck the bride of the day like a merciless lightning. She turned her body around immediately just to see a young man, dressed in black wedding kimono and dark-grey hakama pants. His long purple bangs covered a half of that cold and expressionless face, and was loosened down into a low ponytail that draped over his right shoulder.
As Saito slid the door shut and went even closer to her, Chizuru didn't dare to look at that pair of deep-ocean eyes which seemed could absorb one's soul. Several seconds later, Chizuru just realized that she was only half-dressed. Thank goodness she had covered her body with the kimono even though the obi was still lying and forgotten on the floor. Cursing under her breath, the girl regretted her stupidity to admire that expensive fabric for too long.
"I asked you." Saito stated coldly. There was no slight satisfaction on his face upon finding a helpless maiden—without a belt on her kimono. "What are you doing here?"
Gripping her clothes even tighter, Chizuru gulped. Beads of sweat began to form on her forehead as she stuttered and tried to explain her reason...which was clearly unnecessary because she was going to sleep here starting today. However, Saito acted like she was a sort of thief, so Chizuru had no any other choice but to make a good explanation.
For a second, Saito seemed confused while asking, "Yukimura-dono asked you to be here so you could be safer? It doesn't make any difference because everybody is busy right now..."
He was right. Now Chizuru just recognized it. She didn't want to think that old man had made a stupid prank with her on this wedding day. Yet Saito's next words had made her want to send Kodo flying high to the outer space.
"Strange, Yukimura-dono didn't mention anything about you being in my room when he asked me to go back and wait here until the ceremony begins...I thought it was the custom, but..."
Chizuru swore to kick that mad doctor's bald head after this. In one way and another, Chizuru understood that Kodo just wanted her and the groom to know each other deeper, but this kind of joke was not funny at all. More importantly, Saito was still not interested with her presence as the samurai turned his back to her and walked towards the door without saying anything.
Yet he stopped right away before opening the door. Tardily, he turned back and glanced at Chizuru's clothes. The maiden felt even more anxious now Saito had known about her kimono-problem, and the annoying pink blush found its way to her cheeks while her groom taking the obi from the floor.
"Saito-san, what are you—?!" Chizuru gasped as the man took a position behind her back and circled the obi on her slim waist.
When Saito started to answer, Chizuru could hear his deep voice clearly on her earlobe, and his warm breath on the soft flesh of her neck made the young woman wondering, was it the feeling of having a handsome—the trait she didn't even notice the day before—man right beside you? Well, it was not her fault to live far away from humanity and never experience such thing. Still, it was not love...just a childish nervousness.
"Forgive us for couldn't provide you with any bridesmaid." Saito whispered, sending shivers down to Chizuru's spine as he fixed the obi's position on his bride's hip. "But you must understand, we have—"
"I know." Chizuru cut Saito's speech, feeling the warmth from his broad chest that leaned against her back. "I know it very well. My life is not only mine...It's my fate and I have to accept it instead of cursing it over and over again."
Silence descended upon them, before finally Saito retorted, "And...I expect you've understood as well that there's no turning back after this?"
Not a typical conversation between the couple who would be one soul and body within the few hours. Yet Chizuru didn't want to worsen the problem and just nodded wearily.
Minutes passed, Chizuru had gotten used to Saito's hands which were helping her to dress up. However, she felt a nightmare was replayed again in her mind everytime Saito's left hand touched her body, and it happened a lot because it was truly his dominant hand.
Judging by Hijikata's words yesterday, it was a sensitive thing for Saito. But...
"Um...Saito-san?" Chizuru turned her eyes slightly over her shoulder.
"Drop the formality."
That cold voice was totally devoid of emotions, but it was enough to make Chizuru felt more anxious. He was right, she was going to use 'Saito' as her surname as well. And the proper manner to call her husband was...
"...Hajime-san."
"What is it?"
Completely the opposite to Chizuru's nervous gesture, Saito still didn't wear any expression at all. Before Chizuru knew it, Saito had finished dressing her up and the bride could tell that Saito did it neatly and beautifully. As they were facing each other again, Chizuru took a deep breath before asking bravely.
"I heard you're a very skilled left-handed samurai..." Yet she became silent directly when Saito's eyes narrowed upon hearing her 'left-handed' statement.
"Any problem with that?"
"...No...not at all." Chizuru's courage before was fading away. Now she kept on telling herself that she didn't want to make the situation become even worse...because he was her husband, wasn't he?
Saito walked away from her and slid the door open. Before he completely disappeared from her sight, the young male placed his beautiful cerulean orbs on his bride in somewhat graceful manner.
"I'm waiting for you in the main hall. Just turn left from this room after you finish the preparation and you'll get there."
If you were a girl who never wore make-up, then suddenly being asked to put your make-up on by yourself on your wedding day, what was your reaction? Probably your husband could give you a hand in wearing a complex kimono, but you couldn't expect him to do the same in cosmetic thing.
Praying that her make-up didn't make her face look like a kabuki performer, Chizuru inhaled and entered the main hall...just to find out that it was truly a secret wedding. The only 'guests' were the Shinsengumi soldiers themselves, with the executives and Kodo in the front row...And the groom himself, sitting with his eyes closed in the main stage.
"Captain Saito! Your bride has come!"
"Wow, what a beautiful babe!"
"Sshhh...you're acting impolite. She's Captain Saito's wife, you know."
Pressing her lips into a sour smile, Chizuru tried not to stumble down while passing crowds of annoying warriors who were looking at her in admiration. She couldn't blame them, though. But it was kinda frustrating to know that she was the only woman here, and to make it worse, she was the star of the day.
All by herself, without any bridesmaid who could help her walk, at last Chizuru reached the main stage and shyly took position besides Saito. She felt all the eyes in the hall staring at her, as if seeing a creature called 'woman' was a rare stuff. Many of them were chattering, laughing, and such...while the wedding ceremony was supposed to be quiet in solemnity.
After some moments, when Kondou and Hijikata gave the ceremonial sake for them to drink, Chizuru realized that there was no priest who would bless their sacred bond. Even though Aizu didn't want an outsider to come, but how could this thing be called a marriage?
"Don't space out." Chizuru was snapped back to reality upon listening to that deep cold voice. She tilted her head and saw Saito drinking the sake calmly. Biting her lips, Chizuru was hesitated before sipping her own sake, marking that they were officially husband and wife.
By drinking the ceremonial sake, they were supposed to say the wedding vow in hearts. But Chizuru didn't do that, how could she do such sacred ritual when the main hall was filled with a bunch of noisy soldiers? And she was sure Saito didn't even know what a wedding vow was. That expressionless guy...
"Saito! You've become a true man!"
"Good luck for tonight, Hajime-kun! Don't hurt Chizuru, do 'it' gently!"
"Chizuru-chan, if Saito does something harsh, you may call me to switch him as your husband!"
Only in Shinsengumi Headquarters where people could find the traditional wedding party with the guests walking freely here and there in the main stage with reeks of sake from their mouths.
For Chizuru, the party was way better than the ceremony. Perhaps the samurai's noisy nature had made the party become more lively—which they shouldn't have done at the ceremony. One step at a time, she began to enjoy this wedding party...But what bothered her was, her now official husband just kept silent without saying even a word. Maybe he was just a quiet type, yet it was already exaggerating.
Attempting to get rid of the awkward atmosphere between them, Chizuru sent a smile to Saito, "Hajime-san...how is the food?"
"Oh, 'Hajime-san'!" The drunk Shinpachi laughed and grabbed Saito's shoulder by force, making the younger man obviously feel irritated. "Tell me, when did you two get closer?"
The heat was rising on Chizuru's cheeks. She couldn't tell that Saito had accidentally helped her before...and she was sure that Saito didn't want anyone else to know about that.
The party lasted until night. And one by one, the drunk warriors were going back to their rooms, which were on the back of the main mansion. Well, they didn't know that the pretty bride was an oni, after all.
When the only people left were Kodo and Shinsengumi officials—except Sannan who didn't seem to enjoy the party and went away earlier, Chizuru used this opportunity to know them better. Now she had introduced herself to the investigators, Yamazaki and Shimada as well.
The captains were all nice, and most of them were cheerful-types, besides the strict Hijikata and well...her husband.
"Chizuru..." After some fun conversation, Kodo placed his hand on Chizuru's shoulder, "Get back to your room, okay? Just prepare everything before Saito comes."
Chizuru nodded and bowed to all the captains before stepping out of the hall. Trying not to take a revenge on Kodo's prank, she soundlessly closed the door from outside.
As her footsteps faded away, Kondou's once happy expression turned into more serious one. The Commander of Shinsengumi turned his eyes to Saito, the most loyal captain he could have asked for, "Saito, now you have to protect her with all your life. It's your own choice and you know what the responsibility of having Chizuru as your wife, don't you?"
Saito gave a deep bow, "I know, I will do my best...I won't disappoint you, Kondou-san."
"But really, Hajime-kun..." Okita smirked mischievously, "We didn't think that you would offer yourself to marry Chizuru-chan when Yukimura-dono ran away from Satcho with the last pureblood female oni. Although it was Lord Katamori's idea...it was not exactly an order, just a crazy suggestion."
Heisuke widened his eyes in excitement, "Hey, Hajime-kun! Don't tell me that you already got a feeling that Chizuru is a cute girl! Ah, now I regret for not offering myself as her husband!"
Still, Saito didn't give any satisfying answer and decided to excuse himself before the other captains interrogated him more which would surely end up as irritating gossip. When he was about to go out of the hall, his pace stopped as Kodo murmured, "Hmm...now Saito has married Chizuru, I think we could feel relieved a bit. But I'm still curious about the culprit who killed her parents."
"Yeah, it's a mysterious case," said Harada quietly, "When you told us about their existence, I never expected that they would have gone just several days afterwards."
All of a sudden, Hijikata narrowed his eyes and somehow the captains could see slight suspicion in those purple orbs, "I don't want to say this, but it's impossible for ordinary criminals to find their residence and kill them...Judging by Yukimura-dono's explanation, Satcho desperately wanted Yukimura family to join their force, making them less likely to be the murderer...In other words—"
"Hey, Toshi!" Kondou scowled at Hijikata, "You suspect that someone from Aizu was the one who killed them?"
Sighing, Hijikata was silent for a moment before continuing his previous words, "That's why I said that I don't want to say this. Lord Katamori knew about their existence, but he never gave us an order to assassinate them. Well, he would never do it because Yukimura family was on neutral side..." Again, there was a fire in Hijikata's eyes as he stated, "The only ones in Aizu who know about Yukimura family are just Lord Katamori and us, the officials of Shinsengumi...Even in the worst case if Lord Katamori really wanted them to die, he would've given such a dangerous mission to us, Aizu's elite soldiers. However, we never received such order, hence if the murderer was someone from Aizu...that means..."
Looking at the eyes of his subordinates, Hijikata muttered in a stern tone, "...The culprit is among us, the Shinsengumi, someone who has neglected order and acted stupid by himself."
For a long moment, only the uncomfortable silent atmosphere filled the room, until Kondou laughed bitterly, "Hey, I think you're thinking too much, Toshi!"
"Haha, that's right!" Heisuke poured down the sake into Hijikata's cup, "You're just drunk! I remember when we went together to Shimabara, you said something weird to geisha there and they laughed at you! Couldn't believe that the famous Demon Vice-Commander of Shinsengumi could say something silly!"
"Hijikata-san is a loser when it comes to drinking!"
"Damn you all..."
Laughing until his jaw almost dropped literally, Shinpachi drank the last drop of sake left, "Hijikata-san, I was shocked that you said something serious on this happy day, but it was revealed that you're only drunk! Go ahead and apologize to Saito! You've ruined the mood of his wedding day! Right, Saito? Eh?"
There was no answer. The captain of Shinsengumi's third division had left the main hall, leaving the door wide open—an unusual mistake for someone very careful like him to do.
Meanwhile in another room, the bride of the day was waiting for her husband. She had wiped off her make-up, but was still dressed in her white wedding attire. Just in a few minutes...Saito would come and take it all off.
It was a lie if she said that she was ready for all that might happen tonight. Yet still, when the door was opened, she bowed deeply to the young male who just came in. A good wife would respect her husband, wouldn't she?
"Raise your head," Saito commanded reluctantly as he sat in front of Chizuru, looking straight at his wife.
Obeying the man who would protect her forever, Chizuru shifted her gaze onto him, and secretly admired his sharp but charming eyes. He had such handsome appearance...just if his attitude was the same.
Abruptly, Saito reached out a hand and placed it under Chizuru's chin. The girl squeezed her eyes shut due to reflexes. Here it was, the time when they would become one...the very time when the demon lord would lose interest to her, since her pure blood would be tainted by a human and it would cast away her ability for giving birth to a pureblood oni heir.
"Don't worry, I won't touch you."
Chizuru's eyes wide opened in surprise. Somewhat she felt relieved, yet she couldn't believe her ears. As Saito dropped his hand to the side, he spoke in a low and flat tone, "I can tell that you're scared. To be honest, I don't want to do it yet...Let me be frank, I'm not good at things like these. I decided to marry you because it's all for Aizu's sake, Shinsengumi's sake. Your existence is important and we can't let you fall into Satcho's hands."
This 'all for duty' stuff somehow had hurt Chizuru. She knew it was the reality, but she didn't think a husband should bring up that thing in their wedding night.
"But, Hajime-san..."
"You're afraid that Kazama Chikage would kidnap and force you to give him a heir? No need to worry, once he knows about our marriage, he won't care about your existence anymore...Nobody will know that you're still untainted pureblood oni."
Pressing her lips into thin line, mixture of emotions dominated Chizuru's heart. She was relieved that Saito didn't want to do it yet, but her heart was also hurt by his words that somehow rejected her. Just what was the point of marrying her then? This young captain intended to deceive Kazama? Well, normally people would think that a married couple would do 'it' right away on their first night. Probably Saito planned to pretend that he had stained her pure blood? As if there would be an impolite person who was going to ask whether they had done it or not...Stupid.
All of the dreamy things about arranged marriage had disappeared. This heartless husband didn't seem to try growing the love within their bond. Chizuru could barely hear Saito's next speech, talking about his mission, that she could count on him, that he would protect her because it was his lord's order, and anything else that a normal husband wouldn't say aloud in front of his wife.
Before Chizuru knew it, her eyes had been layered by thin coat of tears. She started to feel regret. Just why her husband was the coldest man ever? It was better if she married another captain. But such thought was useless, now she was trapped already.
Getting rid of another thought that Saito's help before was his attempt to show an affection—no way, someone like him would never think about that, Chizuru's tears fell down onto the floor. Upon realizing this, she quickly wiped her tears away with the long sleeve of her kimono, though Saito had seen it.
"I-I'm sorry, Hajime-san...I'm just..." Trying to make up a reason, Chizuru couldn't say anything as Saito placed his left hand, again, under her chin. But this time, his face went closer until their noses were almost touching. And those eyes...she couldn't turn her gaze away from his piercing irises.
"I know that you're already unhappy with me," Saito's whisper made Chizuru was even more hypnotized, as if someone had read her soul and forced her to speak only the truth...and her guess was right.
"I'm sure you have a lot of things in your mind right now..." He muttered quietly, "...Instead of crying, why don't you speak it aloud so your burden could be lifted a bit? Just be honest."
As a trail of tears kept rolling down her cheeks, Chizuru observed those forceful azure eyes for a little longer and unconsciously slapped Saito's left hand away from her face. Her husband didn't seem shocked and waited for the response patiently.
True, she had lots of things to say in her messed-up mind. After experiencing the worst wedding night a bride could ever imagine, with the worst husband who only had 'mission' in his head, the one that she wanted to voice out the most was...
"I don't love you."
Originally I planned to separate this chapter into two. But it would make the story's pace become slower and boring...hope you enjoyed it though!
As for the next update *plays sad music in the background*, it's gonna be a bit late D: College and job almost kill me...and maybe you've noticed that usually I post an update on weekend, but unfortunately this weekend I have a family tradition to celebrate and I'll be busy with all the preparations D:
Still, I hope to see a bunch of REVIEWS from you guys! XD Maybe they will do wonders to me? (they always do!) Aww please don't be silent because your impressions are necessary for me and this story's development.
Thanks for reading!
P.S.: Just a little bit of information: my other story called 'Petals of Time' (completed) has been translated to Spanish by Lovene Chan! Please check it out if you're interested! The title is 'Pétalos de Tiempo'
P.S.: Les contaré algunas novedades: mi otra historia, llamada 'Pétalos de Tiempo' (o 'Petals of Time'), que ya está completa, está siendo traducida al español por Lovene Chan! Dénle un vistazo si están interesados!