What the hell am I writing? I don't even know anymore. This story just doesn't make sense. First it's angsty, then it's sassy, and now it's totally random abstract shit. Oh, well, nevermind. This pairing never made sense anyway.(Hey, thank you for sticking around though!)
Shudder, part three.
Over the weeks, it has become some kind of a strange habit. A very strange habit. Most of the time, it consists in "sitting at a respectable distance of the other, not saying a thing". Neither of them can be defined as particularly loquacious, anyway. Quite often though, Ayato would sigh loudly, as if trying to point out that he is bored, that the other's presence is annoying. Or maybe trying to get a reaction out of Kaneki. The younger doesn't really know why, but he just needs to do it. Less often, he would tease the white-haired boy, probably out of boredom. Kaneki isn't always responding to his many taunts, and that is yet another thing that Ayato hates about him. He could at least be polite and say something, for fuck's sake!
This night, the wind is freezing. They are on the roof floor of their usual car park, in silence. Ayato hasn't spoken a word, obviously lacking the inspiration to do so. Big things are coming up for both of them, and he doesn't really have time to think of a way to irritate Kaneki. So, he just sits there, looking at the city beneath them, at all these lights he wants to turn off. From the corner of his eyes, he sees Kaneki's hair mysteriously glowing in the dark, flitting under the cold gust.
"Oi, why don't take a sit instead of just standing there like a creep?" he eventually mutters, not even bothering to look at the other guy. It's not something pleasant to have someone behind you like that. Especially not an ennemy. That's what Kaneki is, right? Nothing else, nevermind all the time they've spent together in this place.
Seconds later, Kaneki is surprisingly sitting next to him and he joins Ayato in the contemplation of the city lights, spreading out at their feet – so far away from them, and their two silhouettes seem so dark. Yes, even with Kaneki's ghostly strands floating and radiating faintly, making it surreal. Ayato inhales deeply. It's almost pleasurable. Almost. His eyelids close by themselves, and he hardly wonders why he is able to let his guard down juste now.
"Aren't you lonely, Ayato-kun?"
The voice, soft and cold, still manages to break the moment's precious and mystical nature. Damn him, why did he have to speak? Ayato feels the anger rushing back in his veins.
"The fuck d'you mean?" he snaps, already missing the previous silence. "Of course I am. Survival of the fittest, ain't it? I don't have time for others."
"I guess so." comes the answer, but the wind quickly drifts it away.
For a minute, they are quiet again. It's only a matter of time, though, until Ayato raises his voice once more, between gritted teeth and clearly on edge. "Tch. How would I even get the chance to actually be lonely since you're always here when I try to be."
Kaneki turns to face the younger boy, and there's something strangely mechanical about the way he moves. Ayato still refuses to look at him, his attention better focused on the city below.
"Am I bothering you?" the Eye-patch asks, without a sign of concern in his tone. Ayato is fuming, and he tries very hard not to shout at the other ghoul. Or to punch him.
"You're a fucking nutcase, you know that?"
"Well, you've never said anything." Kaneki states, as an excuse. Why the hell is he even trying to justify himself? With a heavy sigh, Ayato decides to just give up.
"It's better when you shut the fuck up, Eye-patch."
"... Alright."
They are finally able to fall back into that comfortable silence of theirs. It's getting colder, Ayato notices – and a quick glance to his left is all it takes to give away Kaneki's trembling shape. It's always an unsettling sight – light and darkness entwined, forming a thin, shuddering line, like an optical illusion – and soon he finds himself unable to concentrate on anything else. Even Ayato can sense the unspeakable sadness, can hear the disembodied voices of an ancient tragedy's choir singing in the depths of these grey eyes. While he's feeling his usual violence ebb away, his hands oddly start to itch.
Instinctively, he reaches out. He takes Kaneki in his arms, with all the uneasiness this situation necessarily implies, and tries to make it look like he's just using him to warm up a little. As a matter of fact, he has no fucking idea why he is doing this. Seeing Kaneki shudder has made him both angry and sad – and Ayato hates being angry and sad at the same time. Anger he can deal with, sadness he doesn't like. So, he's holding Kaneki too tightly, because he wants the shivers to stop.
But the wind and their untold emotions are stronger, violently shaking the boys. Before the white-haired ghoul can have a chance to talk, Ayato thinks there is something very important he'd like to point out.
"Don't you dare open your damn mouth, asshole, you'll ruin everything."
And that's about as poetic as Ayato gets.