Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, and Christmas belongs to...well, either the Christian Right reclaimed Christmas this year or the Grinch still has it.

This is the shortest (and hopefully sweetest) chapter I've ever written.

Chapter Three

Three French Hens

"Hey Princess," Puck greeted, setting yet another wrapped gift in front of his boyfriend. Kurt was seated at a table in the cafeteria with the entirety of New Directions, save for Puck and Brittany, who had just showed up with his latest present.

"Another gift," Kurt said warily. "How…delightful."

"I hope you like it!" Brittany said happily. "We made this one together."

"Hey," Mike chimed in, "I helped too!"

"Do you really want to take credit for what's about to come out of that box?" Tina asked.

"Well, if he likes it, then yeah," Mike reasoned. "If you hate it, Kurt, it was all Puck's idea."

"So Brittany and Mike helped on this one?" Kurt asked, wondering if that necessarily made this gift any better than the previous two.

"You didn't make her cry again, did you?" Santana asked pointedly, wiping the mac and cheese from her mouth.

"No," Puck shot back. "In fact, Britt was a perfect little helper elf for Big Daddy Claus this Puckmas."

"I never thought words could make me lose my appetite," Rachel said as she pushed away her lunch tray.

"'Big Daddy Claus'?" Mercedes chuckled. "Seriously?"

"I haven't had to throw up so badly since that awful case of morning sickness I had during my second trimester," Quinn said, dropping her carrot stick distastefully.

"Alright," Puck said, yawning tiredly. "Don't hate on me for being a good boyfriend."

"We're hating on you for talking like a frat boy rapist," Santana said. "That and the fact that you made my girlfriend cry," she said, the entire table rolling their eyes; she hadn't been able to stop talking about it all morning.

"Santana, we get it," Sam said, his arm slung over the back of Mercedes' chair. "He made Brittany cry by accident. I bet even she's forgiven him by now."

"I have!" Brittany said cheerily. "Especially since he let me choose what to give Kurtie today."

"Oh, wow," Kurt said, forcing excitement into his voice. "You didn't have to do that, Noah…really."

"Just open it up babe," Puck said, nudging the box towards him. Kurt reluctantly loosened the ribbon and pulled off the box top, the hypnotizing smells of Thanksgiving and Christmas wafting from the interior. Peering inside he smiled before pulling out three rotisserie chickens, cooked perfectly with what Kurt knew had to be a sage-thyme butter rub. But these were no ordinary chickens as each of them were dressed up: one had on a beret and a makeshift white and black striped shirt; another was dressed in a black maid's uniform complete with a frilly white apron; and the final one had a high, powdered white wig on, along with a wide-hooped skirt fitted around it's center. Kurt set all three chickens before the Glee Club lovingly, looking up amusedly at Puck and Brittany.

"It's three French hens!" Brittany exclaimed. "Do you love it?"

"I love it," Kurt confirmed, hugging Brittany tightly. "Thank you both. Thank you Noah," he said, giving Puck a chaste kiss on the cheek. Puck held Kurt tightly as he stole a proper kiss on the lips from his blushing boyfriend.

"Those freakin things took all night," Puck said. "Do you know how hard it is to make a little wig for a chicken? And the dress…"

"I had to eat two boxes of popsicles to get enough sticks for the skirt," Brittany bragged. "Is my tongue still green?" she asked, sticking it out for everyone to see. Santana shut Brittany's jaw so no one could view just how long her tongue was.

"Well you did a beautiful job," Kurt said as he looked at the birds. "They're gorgeous."

"Well done, Puck," Quinn said happily.

"Yes, excellent work, Noah," Rachel clapped, withdrawing a sticker from her purse. "Gold star for today." Puck gratefully accepted the offering, sticking it on his forehead proudly.

Kurt looked confusingly from Puck to the girls, none of whom would meet his gaze. It was Finn who broke the silence by asking, "So are we gonna look at them or can we, like, eat them?" Puck argued with him that it wasn't for eating, but Kurt felt sorry for his hungry brother, even if he did just eat two hamburgers, so he graciously allowed the New Directioners to share in his gift with Puck. Puck sighed as he saw his hard night's work being hacked apart and eaten by his friends, but seeing the happy expression on Kurt's face let him know that it was all worth it.

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