Chapter three
Coming to Terms
Minerva looked up at Albus and saw to her surprise that there were tears in his eyes.
"Oh Albus-"
"Shh, I'm alright, but I need to hear the rest of the story."
"I was in so much pain and I was so scared. I had no support except for Poppy, so she went and got Pomona to help. I was so grateful but Poppy told me to push so-so I did and bloody hell did it hurt. I had very little time to deal with any contractions but they ended up happening during the time I pushed. I was screaming bloody murder by that time so Pomona cast Muffliato at the door. I pushed about two more times before the baby crowned. The next words made me smile; 'The baby's hair is dark auburn Minerva.' I pushed one last time and collapsed with exhaustion, breathing heavily. I laughed when Poppy told me the baby was a girl. I couldn't have been happier but Poppy said the baby had to undergo some little medical procedures. I was so worried but Pomona reassured me so I lay down and eventually fell asleep. I was woken by a soft crying that grew louder as I regained consciousness of where I was. I smiled and tried to get out of bed but Poppy pushed me back down. She carefully placed my baby-I mean our baby in my arms. Poppy gave me some privacy and I fed our daughter. Poppy came and asked me what I wanted to name her. I had thought this over and decided on Lily Arianna for your sister. Now Albus I wish to show you our daughter."
Minerva placed the tip of her wand to her head and extracted a long silvery memory. She walked over to the pensieve and dropped her memory in. Albus looked warily at her; he was so worried about her.
"Albus, come on, I need to show you our daughter."
She grabbed his hand and they put their face to the pensieve. They landed at the doors to the hospital wing, and gently pushed them open.
"Minerva I-I don't know about this. Are you sure you want me to see her?"
"Of course I'm sure, I've kept it secret for so long and she's your daughter too."
She squeezed his hand and led him over to the bed. The younger Minerva was stroking Lily's head and whispering little things to her. Albus heard one little sentence; "Your daddy would be so proud of you right now. His name is Albus, and you have his smile and his hands." Tears welled up in his eyes.
"M-M-My daughter—is so—beautiful," whispered a now crying Albus.
Minerva looked at him and was quickly at his side comforting him. She embraced him and gently pulled him towards her. He put his hand in the crook of her back and they moved to a bed. She smiled through a wet face because now she was crying too.
"I'm so happy you think that Albus. I was worried you wouldn't and would be so angry with me."
"I admit I was a bit angry but I know now it would've ruined everything we had if you had told me then. Everything would have changed."
"Now I must tell you the hardest part of all, and I can't do it alone so I have to use the pensieve for some of it."
Albus pulled up on Minerva's arm and they were back in the bedroom. She grabbed his hand and pulled him to the bed. She looked into his sparkling eyes looking for a way to tell this next part without hurting him more than he already was. He stared back at her looking for an explanation as to what would come next but nothing came. She kept her green eyes concealed.
'He doesn't know yet that Lily is Lily Evans/Potter,' thought Minerva with a little sigh of relief.
"Albus, I am going to begin telling what happened next if you are ready."
"Yes, yes ready as I'll ever be I suppose."
"Alright, well I had kept Lily a secret for a while now and I was sure I couldn't for much longer. I had been taking long absences from teaching to be with her and most of my students were beginning to notice. I could think of only one solution, give up Lily to a family that would care for her until I could take her again. I had settled upon a muggle family that seemed to be very caring. They had a daughter already that was about a year older than Lily. Over the Christmas holiday I set off to take Lily to them. I entered the town and I . . . I can't say any more Albus. It's time for the pensieve."
Albus took Minerva's hand and led her to the pensieve. He assisted her in putting her memory in. Together they entered the memory, Albus not knowing what to expect and Minerva afraid of what she was seeing again. She had no desire to look at what she was about to do again, but she had to tell Albus, there was no way of getting out of it this time.
They landed on a snowy street with Christmas trees and lights everywhere. Music was playing from a nearby house. Up the street carrying what looked to be a small package was the young Minerva. What was to be the package started crying and Minerva gently rocked it. Little Lily was being very fussy this night and Minerva was getting a little short tempered.
"Lily, hush, I'm here, it's alright. You must stop. Please Lily, stop."
She walked briskly to the end of the street and turned down a drive and walked to a side door on a fairly large house. Minerva conjured a small basket with plenty of blankets and placed Lily inside. She picked her up again and cuddled her, kissed her and cried wet tears upon her daughter's face.
"I'm so sorry Lily. I can't keep you. I will find you again. I promise. We will be reunited once more."
She placed Lily in the basket carefully wrapping blankets around her. She pulled out an envelope addressed to the Evans, and placed it into the basket. She kissed her daughter one last time, rang the doorbell and transformed into a cat and walked to the other side of the drive.
"Hello? Is anyone there?" A deep voice called out into the darkness and then he looked down and saw Lily Arianna lying there. He reached down and picked her up basket and all, "Honey, come here, quickly!"
"What is it dear? Oh my! Where did she come from?"
"Not sure but look, an envelope addressed to us"
"OK. Let's see what this is all about."
The lady opened the letter as a little girl with curly black hair crawled out to her mother and father.
'Dear Mr. and Mrs. Evans
This is Lily Arianna. She is my three-month-old daughter. I'm sorry I could not meet you but it was not possible. I am also sorry to have dropped my daughter on your doorstep but I can't keep her as of right now. I will be in touch as much as can but I can't promise too much. Please do not tell Lily that she is adopted until the age of 10, I will be there when she turns this age. It will help her understand something when she turns 11. I can't say too much about this or it will give it all away. Please tell her when she finds out she is adopted that she will see her mother again. She has her mother's eyes and her father's smile and hands. My name is Minerva but I can't tell you my last name for certain reasons and I won't tell you her father's name either for his safety and yours. Please tell Lily that I love her and I'll be seeing her soon enough. Thank you again. You are the only people I can trust with her even though you don't know me.
With Love,
Minerva'
The two looked at each other with awe but soon Lily started to cry.
"Hush, hush little one. Everything will be alright. We promise. And Minerva, if you are out there your daughter is safe with us and so is your secret. Your wishes will be fulfilled according to how you said."
The couple walked inside but the little girl sat on the step watching the cat. She waved at it and said, "Your baby is otay. Promise." She smiled and turned when she heard her mother calling, "Petunia."
The cat walked to the window and looked in. There the family was playing the new addition. Albus and Minerva walked to the window also and joined that cat to look in. Tears stained the front of Minerva's robes and Albus was looking as though he had been slapped in the face. Lily was now laughing at the faces Petunia made. They sat there for a good half hour or so before the cat turn and strode down the street turning back into Minerva. She turned on the spot and vanished. At that same time Albus and Minerva lifted upward and returned to the bedroom.
"Lily Evans- Lily Arianna Evans. I thought it was just a coincidence when she arrived. I put no thought to it whatsoever. So I have met my daughter but all this time I never knew. But-but I can't believe this, she's dead, she never knew me. How could you Minerva? How and Why? I loved you so much and I thought you trusted me. I guess I was wrong."
Albus got up and walked over to the balcony. He was really angry now bursting with it. He was crying but more of furiousity than anger.
'How could she not tell me? Why wait so long? I hardly knew her and yet I knew her.'
"Albus? Please Albus, I'm sorry, I know what I did was wrong"
"WRONG? WHAT YOU DID WAS OUTRAGEOUS! HOW COULD YOU? NOT TELLING ME I HAD A DAUGHTER AND NOW SHE'S DEAD! I HARDLY NEW HER AND I SUPPOSE YOU DIDN'T TELL HER ABOUT ME EITHER?"
"ALBUS! PLEASE CALM DOWN! I'M SORRY! YES, SHE KNEW ABOUT YOU. SHE WAS SO HAPPY WHEN SHE FOUND OUT! Please just let me explain."
Albus turned away again and started to sob uncontrollably. Minerva went to him and placed her hand on his shoulder, but he flung it off. She placed it there again but firmly grasped it. He didn't resist this time and instead he cried into her shoulder. She joined in his crying and soon all anyone would've heard was sobbing. Albus slowly controlled his crying and was now comforting Minerva.
"Minerva? Will you please explain more? I need to know when she found out. How she reacted and what happened afterwards."
"Very-well. P-please wait to blow up at me until I am done."
"Fine."
"Lily was just turning 10 and I was going to visit just as I had said I would. I left Hogwarts two days before her birthday. I had been sending her little gifts over the years but none that would reveal where she was from and who I was. I arrived to the house and I knocked at the door. Petunia had answered the door and stared at me with a look of surprise and awe. I laughed and then asked if her parents were home. She nodded and went to get them, closing the door in my face. Now we are going into the pensieve again."
This time Minerva did not take Albus' hand but went over to the pensieve and put her memory in. She stood waiting for him and then he came to her side. She bent down and entered the memory, Albus followed suit and landed beside her seconds after she landed. They walked to the door together in silence, Minerva freezing out Albus for the time being. The younger Minerva stood waiting at the door looking slightly disoriented after the shock of the door slamming in her face. The door opened again and Lily's parents were standing there looking apologetic.
"I'm so sorry for that. Petunia doesn't really like calling for us when there is a stranger at the door. Now please come in. Let me take your-erm-cloak. Sit down wherever. Um-who are you again?" Lily's mother was acting kindly but was confused by the new guest.
"I am Minerva. Surely you remember my letter from about ten years ago?"
The woman stared at Minerva with an awestruck look. Her husband stood gaping at her with a cup of tea waiting to be served.
"W-well, this is a surprise. I guess we just didn't think you'd actually show up. It's so good to finally meet you. Let me get Lily for you"
"No! Not yet. I 'm not quite ready to see her. First I would like to speak to you. I've decided that I will tell you why I am here and why I left Lily here those many years ago. You must know that I did not want to leave Lily. I had no choice though, her father didn't know I was pregnant and where we come from he wouldn't have been able to keep his job and I wouldn't have been able to keep mine. There would have been some issues then. I thought after I had Lily I would be able to care for her but it was getting to be too much to handle. You see, my job is teaching but it is not ordinary teaching. I teach a subject not known to you. It is called Transfiguration and I am a witch. Before you say anything I must tell you that Lily will be enrolled into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I won't tell her I am her mother until she gets her letter. I am sorry but it is too soon as of right now. I am also the Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts and head of Gryffindor House. I will hand deliver the letter to Lily and then she can know who I really am. As for right now, I will take that cup of tea Mr. Evans, assuming you were going to offer it to me. I would like you to tell Lily that I am an old friend of the family so I can meet her."
The Evans busied themselves with Minerva's requests. She was surprised that she could keep her strictness with these people. After all they did look after her daughter for all of these years.
"Um…Miss…"
"Call me Minerva, please."
"This is Lily, Lily Arianna."
"Nice to meet you ma'am," said Lily, shaking Minerva's hand.
Tears welled up in Minerva's eyes as she stared at her daughter for the first time in ten years. She didn't let go of Lily's hand for a long time. She realized what she was doing after a while and let go of the girl's hand and smiled.
"Yes, hello Lily. It is a pleasure meeting you. Of course I knew you when you were a little baby. Tell me, would it be alright if I gave you a little something?"
"Oh yes! It is my birthday after all and I am now a ten year-old," Lily said, beaming.
Minerva reached into her robes and pulled out a little box wrapped in glittering paper. She handed it to the girl who took it with eagerness. She untied the ribbon and carefully removed the pretty paper. There was a small black box with a gold clasp keeping it shut. Lily undid the clasp and gasped at what she saw. Inside was a small emerald connected to a small sapphire hooked to a golden chain. She smiled and gave Minerva a big hug.
"Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! It's beautiful! I will always wear it. W-will you help me put it on? Please?"
"Of course! It'd be my pleasure. There, it looks wonderful with your eyes. Especially the emerald."
"But I don't understand? Why is there an emerald and a sapphire, connected? It's beautiful, but why are they put together?"
"This is a very special necklace. It holds a secret that you won't find out for at least another year. As for right now, your parents have something they need to tell you and I must take my leave. Forgive me for such a short visit but I have more business to attend to."
Minerva stood up to leave and turned to the door. When she reached it though, Lily came up behind her and gave her another hug. She didn't let go for a long time and then looked into her mother's eyes and smiled.
"I think I remember you from somewhere. Your eyes are the same as mine. I like them."
"Thank you Lily, I like your eyes too. They are beautiful. Now be a good girl and I will visit some time later." Minerva bent down and kissed Lily on the top of her head. She waved and walked out the door.
Everything went dark and Albus and Minerva returned to the bedroom floor. Minerva walked over to a chair and sat down. She looked exhausted and was trying her hardest to keep a strict face. Albus stared at her and smiled. Leave it to Minerva to be as strict as possible in a situation like this. He studied her features for a good five minutes or so before deciding that it was time for them to retire.
"Minerva? Can we, can we finish this tomorrow? You looked very tired and I for one don't want you to fall asleep in your lessons."
"Fine, I'll go then. Goodnight Albus."
"Ahh, but if I'm not mistaken it is actually good morning. You see our little chat has taken us into the wee hours of the morning."
Minerva thinned her lips into a straight line and turned out of the door. She slammed it in her wake and Albus stared at it for a long time. He finally walked over to his bed and lay down. He turned on his side saw a glint of gold in the candlelight. He reached for it and looked at the very necklace that Minerva had just given Lily. He held it in his hand for a very long time and drifted off into a restless sleep.
Minerva walked across the office and turned to look at the place where the door had just vanished. She opened the office door and walked down the spiral staircase. She walked through the halls in a sort of trance, letting her feet carry her to her rooms. She hardly realized where she was until she heard a soft rumble saying; 'Good evening Minerva, password please.'
"Albus," Minerva whispered.
The tapestry vanished to reveal a door. Minerva turned the handle and walked inside. She walked over to the sofa and collapsed onto it and looked into the fire. Slowly tears started to roll down her cheeks and into her lap. Gently the little trickles of tears were falling increasingly faster until Minerva resolved to sobbing uncontrollably. There was no stopping her now, she had let her guard down just like that and spilled out her deepest secret to the man she had been hiding it from for so long. She reached to her neck looking for the necklace. She didn't feel it, where was it? How could it have fallen off? Was it still in Albus' rooms or was it somewhere in the hall? That was her last piece of her daughter, her only child and now it was gone. Maybe Albus found it and was going to give it to her in the morning. Minerva wiped her face and stood up to go to bed. She changed into her nightgown and magically braided her long red hair. She touched it and felt little wet spots on it. Albus' tears had not yet dried and Minerva could not muster the strength to dry them. She dropped onto her bed and let out a long slow sigh. Sleep, she couldn't sleep, not after recounting those many secrets. She was 53 years old and yet she felt so much older. She couldn't keep any more secrets so she decided to tell Albus everything tomorrow. She had to ask about Harry, she had to find out if it would be possible to take him away from those horrid muggles. He was, after all there, grandson. He was 16 years old, 16 years; it was already that long ago that Minerva had lost her beloved Lily.
"Don't worry Lily, Harry will be safe, mom and dad will take care of him."
Minerva closed her eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep. Nightmares about Albus chasing her for the truth, screaming at her. She tossed and turned trying to get away. Then he grabbed her and kissed her, then vanished.
"ALBUS!" Minerva screamed, she was covered in cold sweat. What were these dreams doing to her? They seemed to be telling her that she was driving Albus away. She was hoping that last night was just a dream. She would have to find out at breakfast. Slowly Minerva got out of bed and dressed into her tartan robes. She fastened her cloak around her neck and then reached for the chain. It was gone, and then she remembered that it had been gone when she had gotten back last night. Slipping on her shoes, Minerva walked to the door and pushed it open. Drowning in her thoughts she slowly made her way to the Great Hall.
She walked up to the staff table not even paying attention if Albus was there or not.
"Minerva, can you pass the butter? Minerva? Yoo-hoo!" Professor Sprout waved her hand in front of Minerva's face. She blinked and then looked around as realizing where she was for the first time.
"S-sorry Pomona. Just a bit tired. What did you need?"
"The butter, please," Pomona stared at her friend trying to figure out what was wrong. She noticed Minerva had been feeling at her neck quite frequently. Minerva handed Pomona the butter and continued to stare fixedly at her plate.
"Minerva? Are you okay? You don't look so good and you keep feeling at your neck for something."
"Fine, I'm fine, just tired. I guess I hadn't realized I had been doing anything."
"Oh, alright. You should eat something. It might wake you up a little bit."
Minerva reached to her right for an apple and instead grabbed Albus' hand. She pulled it away quickly and went for some toast and met the same fate. She was confused, was he doing it on purpose or was it just coincidence. She looked up at him and immediately looked away. He was staring at her smiling, a twinkle in his eyes. She wasn't sure what she felt at the moment so she ate her breakfast without talking to him. As she was getting up to leave he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down.
"I have something for you. Meet me in my rooms at 9:00 tonight, then we can finish our talk," he gave her a small grin and let her go.
Minerva nodded at him and walked away. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do right now. She walked to her classroom and just as soon as she had entered silence fell.
"Today we will continue vanishing charms. You may begin."
She sat down and made her self busy with some papers. Something fell out from in between the stack. She grabbed it and smiled in spite of herself. It was the ring from last night, the engagement ring. Would they still go through with it? Obviously after this.
'Albus must have put this here. He must have my necklace. I'm just not sure if I want to talk to him though. But the dream, I have to, it's the only way.'
At lunch, Albus wasn't there but Minerva brushed it off. She ate quite a lot because of the lack of food at breakfast. She had a free period after lunch so she went to her rooms.
"Albus," she told the portrait
Minerva walked to her desk and grabbed a small pile of papers. She left the room and walked down to the lake. She found her favorite spot that no student knew about so far and sat down and started to grade some essays. Someone coughed behind her and she jumped. Turning with an angry glare fixed on her face she was about to scold whoever had scared her when her expression changed. She was about to smile but pursed her lips.
"Hello Albus. What can I do for you?"
"Nothing at all, but I was wondering whether you received a little surprise this morning?"
"Oh, you mean this," said Minerva holding up her hand. The diamond glinted in the sunlight as she wiggled her fingers.
"Yes. So have you forgiven me yet?"
"I'm not sure if I can right now. My hearts aches Albus for the fear of losing you, but if I can't tell you something that has been bottled up for sixteen years I don't know how we can make this work. I know you are angry at me for keeping it from you but you have to understand. . ."
"I do understand. . ."
"No-you-don't. I have tried to tell you for a very long time. I try to talk to you about having children, a family, together. You brush it off as if it is just something of no importance. I didn't want to keep it a secret but after you said that a family was out of the question as of that moment I was too frightened. Now if you will excuse me, I have a class to teach."
"Minerva, I. . ."
It was too late; Minerva had turned and was already half ways up to the castle. Albus sat down in the spot Minerva had just been and stared out at the lake.
'What am I doing wrong? I thought that by showing I still wanted to get married everything would be okay. But I guess that is something that can get past a foolish old man.'
The bell rang up at the castle but Albus ignored it. He sat in silence for a long time just thinking. He checked his watch every so often and at a quarter to five he finally got up and walked to the castle.
Students were making their way to the Great Hall for dinner as Albus entered. He turned to enter but stopped thinking that there was something wrong. He walked up the steps and took a right. There were sobs coming from behind a tapestry. He walked over and pulled it aside. Minerva was sitting on the floor rocking back and forth. She looked up as Albus pulled aside the tapestry.
"Oh!"
"Minerva, what is the matter? Why are you crying?"
"I'm fine Albus thank you. I am very overwhelmed right now. If you'll excuse me I have to go to dinner."
Minerva walked past Albus but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back. He walked into the small room behind the tapestry with Minerva in tow. He stared at her with disgust and guilt. She looked away, not being able to stare into those piercing eyes.
"Minerva, I cannot continue to brush off what you say to me and I certainly cannot let you keep walking away from me when there is something clearly wrong. Now please, tell me what's wrong. Why do you continue to give me the cold shoulder?"
"Albus, I can't. Not here and not now. Tonight I will, I promise. I'm still trying to figure out how to explain all this. And Lily's necklace is missing. I can't find it anywhere, it was the last thing of hers and now it's gone."
Minerva let the tears fall freely now and she allowed Albus to comfort her. He wrapped his arms around her and let her cry into his chest. He stroked her hair, as he knew she liked it. They stood there for a few minutes then Minerva looked into his eyes. He smiled and stared into her beautiful green eyes. Taking her face in his hands he bent down and gently kissed her. Minerva closed her eyes and let him place his lips on hers. The ice had broken and he still loved her and she loved him. They broke apart and smiled.
"Thank you Albus, for showing me what I have been missing."
"It was my pleasure. Shall we go to dinner?"
Minerva nodded, placed her hand on Albus' arm and they left the room to go to the Great Hall. No words were exchanged as they walked but there was no need, the wall between them had been broken. The words floated between them with out opening their mouths and they knew what each other meant. They entered the Great Hall together and walked up to the staff table. They didn't notice anyone staring at them and could have cared less. Albus helped Minerva with her chair and went and sat in his. They ate in silence not once looking at each other. Someone elbowed Minerva in the ribs.
"OW!"
"Sorry Minerva. What's going on with you? You seem way too cheerful for your usual self. The entrance with Albus was a little odd."
Minerva looked surprised and embarrassed. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out.
"I. . . I. . . I,"
"Oh Minerva, come now is it that bad or good. Or were surprised anyone noticed? We all have noticed your little tiff with Albus. He has never looked happier than the past few days. Now spill, what's going on?"
"Sorry Pomona but that's between the Headmaster and me. You'll know soon enough though, so don't get your knickers in a bunch! Now, I'd like to finish my meal if you don't mind."
She gave Pomona a little smile and turned back to her meal.
'Pomona said that everyone noticed. I wonder why no one has said anything until now? Oh well, as soon as Albus says we can tell everyone the better I suppose. This doesn't mean that I can be any nicer to the students but can give them a break when the wedding comes around.'