Chapter Three: Operation Annoyance and Accidents

Harry glanced over at Anakin and nodded once. Anakin nodded back and the two pranksters silently crept up the stairs to Palpatine's office in the Senate building. They had traveled back to the burnt out Jedi Temple via Portkey, causing a wince from Anakin when he saw his surroundings but they quickly left and used the sewer system to reach the Senate building undetected.

Once inside they took out the guards and cameras easily, a few well placed Stupefies and a few obscuration charms ensured that the two Jedi remained unseen. Palpatine was at a meeting in the Senate chamber for the next three hours so they had plenty of time to place the pranks and get out again. Harry had also developed a spell that replicated the effects of a Dementor which would activate every time Palpatine went to sleep. It would not be nullified by the Force either, so Palpatine would have two choices, either sleep in spite of living his worst memories over and over in his dreams, or try to stay awake as long as possible. Despite his mastery of the Dark Side, Palpatine was still human and as such needed to rest at least once every day.

Gaining access to the office, Harry and Anakin went to work, quickly placing the various pranks around the room. One went on his chair, it was similar to a muggle whoopee cushion; only it was not detectable and could not be removed except by the person who put it there. It ensured that every time Palpatine sat down, or changed position he would give off a farting noise. The best part was that the spell transferred itself to his person the first time he activated it, so that no matter if he changed clothes, or changed his chair, the prank would remain. Another prank was the laxative prank as Anakin called it. A time delayed spell, designed to hit Palpatine when he entered his office, and activated the first time he mentioned the words Empire, or Imperial. The diarrhea would smell awful and the smell would last for days at a time. The other prank, where he praised the Rebellion and the Jedi was held off on; as they decided that the laxative one was more embarrassing and combined with the farting spell would be even funnier.

After giving the room a once over, the two Marauders sneaked into Palpatine's private quarters and placed a few more pranks there, one of which was a spell which turned Palpatine's reflection in any mirror to one of Anakin or Harry, complete with a mocking note that called into question Palpatine's sanity, heritage, or a myriad of other things, the insults would change randomly. All the spells were such that only Harry or Anakin could remove them.

Smirking at each other, Harry and Anakin stood in the alcove just off the Senate chamber where they could hear the Emperor droning on about some boring new law designed to restrict the lives of the citizens even further than they were already. Smirking again, Harry took careful aim and fired his last spell.

There was a brief silence before Palpatine began talking again, but only to himself did he look and sound normal. To everyone else, the Emperor had suddenly changed into a gigantic fluffy yellow chicken and his words sounded like clucking. The media reporters in the room, who were on the Rebellion's side, hurriedly began taking pictures and recording this highly unusual and funny event. Pranks complete, Anakin and Harry left Coruscant, or Imperial Centre as it was now known, but not before one last charm had been set to Palpatine's office and quarters, a video charm complete with audio pickup which was linked to one that was set up in the Intelligence Division in the Jedi Temple on Yavin 4. The Jedi were not about to annoy Palpatine with these pranks and not get some amusement out of the situation.

Once they were on board the Marauder, Harry sent the ship through hyperspace to a small Jedi outpost which had been largely forgotten. There he set the ship down and made a call to the Temple on Yavin.

"Harry, how did things go?" Sheija asked. Harry smirked and replied, "Mission successful Sheija, how did the shipyard mission go?"

"Reconnaissance was done this morning, Operation Mutiny to be carried out tomorrow afternoon; we'll have several ships and plans for the fighters on Yavin tomorrow evening hopefully."

Harry nodded. "Good. We'll come home then, see you in a few hours." He cut the connection and then keyed in hyperspace jumps in a random pattern, designed to throw off any trackers before he keyed in the Yavin coordinates last. Sending the ship into hyperspace once more, he set the ship on autopilot, setting the alarm to wake him when the ship entered the Yavin system and then he followed Anakin's example by closing his eyes and going to sleep.

When they reached Yavin Harry and Anakin were set upon by their respective Padawans who promptly pelted them with questions on how their mission had gone. Amid much laughter, the questions were answered as the four went to the Intelligence Division to see how their charm had worked. To their delight it was working beautifully and it wasn't long before the first prank activated.

Palpatine entered his office, not noticing the almost unnoticeable flash of light as the various prank spells hit him. He sat down in his chair, only to jump up as the prank went off and a very rude noise sounded in his office. Cautiously he sat down again, and the spell went off again. He examined his chair minutely but found nothing. Palpatine then sat down once more, trying to ignore the loud rude sounds that came from that action, and pulled some datapads towards him.

The Jedi in the Intelligence Division were chuckling at this, but more was to come. Several important Senators entered, including Mon Mothma and Bail Organa. Palpatine smiled at them and leaned back in his chair, looking highly embarrassed when the senators raised their eyebrows as the farting noises began again. Shaking their heads, they focused on the meeting. Mon Mothma and Bail Organa were having difficulty controlling their amusement, they had been informed of Harry and Anakin's mission and it looked as though it had been successful.

"Now Senators, I know you've been worried about the recent amendments to the constitution but I assure you the Imperial" – he broke off as once again a loud rude noise sounded in the room, but this time it was accompanied by a wet sounding series of plops, as his bowels loosened thanks to the laxative spell. Palpatine looked up, now certain that someone had played a nasty joke on him but he didn't know how to stop it.

The Senators were wrinkling their noses; the smell was truly awful, while Mon Mothma and Bail were doing their best to keep from laughing. Finally Bail got himself under control and said, "Emperor, maybe you should see a healer that sounds nasty."

Palpatine smiled at him, with great effort and shook his head. "Thank you Senator but that won't be necessary. The Empire" – once again the spell activated and more diarrhea started. Abandoning all pretence at decorum, Palpatine jumped up and ran for the bathroom, where he tried to clean the mess out of his underwear. He wrinkled his own nose as he did so; this was totally embarrassing and not at all appropriate for the leader of an Empire.

With a silent groan Palpatine realized that he didn't need to say the word out loud, just thinking it was enough as his bowels cramped once more. Groaning, he collapsed, vowing to find the person who had embarrassed him so badly and kill them in the slowest manner possible.

Back on Yavin 4 the rest of the Temple were confused at the howls that were coming from the Intelligence Division. Harry and Anakin were at the centre of a group of highly amused Jedi who were busy congratulating them on the success of their mission.

"Just, just wait, there's more" Anakin choked as he watched Palpatine succumb to the effects of the laxative spell once more. As they watched, Palpatine went to the sink and looked in the mirror. His eyes widened and he screamed out "POTTER!!!!!!!" as he saw the reflection staring back at him and read the note that accompanied it.

The Jedi collapsed, almost choking with laughter as their enemy was incapacitated with rage. "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS POTTER" Palpatine snarled. "I'LL SET THE WHOLE POWER OF MY EMPIRE – ARRRRGHHH!" Palpatine gave up on his rant as he lost control of his bowels once more. Giving up on doing any more work that day, Palpatine decided to go to bed.

Harry and Anakin left the Intelligence Division, leaving their colleagues to the now very entertaining task of Palpatine-watching and left to have dinner with their Padawans. They and the rest of the Jedi had a peaceful night's rest preparing for the following day's activities. Palpatine however, was stuck in his own personal hell.

As soon as he went to sleep, the Dementor spell, as Harry called it, started. Palpatine's dreams started off normally but soon changed. From dreams of ruling the Empire to dreams of the Jedi invading every corner of his life and eventually ending it. Palpatine didn't whimper or try to get away, he was still a Sith Lord, but the dreams of facing his two greatest enemies, Anakin Skywalker and Harry Potter together, and losing haunted him. He woke 10 minutes after falling asleep, sweating heavily. Breathing deeply to calm himself, the Sith Lord fell back asleep, only to have his worst memories and fears replay in his mind over and over again. Finally he tried using the Force to release the fears to the Force, only to jerk awake in shock when it didn't work. Looking round the room, he closed his eyes. Nightmares or no nightmares he needed to sleep but he would wake the next morning feeling out of sorts and very grumpy.

The next phase of Operation Annoyance was stealing several ships from the main shipyard that supplied the Empire. The Rebellion had their own small shipyard which supplied them, but it was kept secret. The idea behind the ship theft, which was termed Operation Mutiny in order to distinguish between it and the other two parts of Operation Annoyance was that the Rebellion needed certain command ships, a medical frigate or two, and other transport vehicles for the electronic equipment. Then there were the fighters, the Empire had come up with plans for several classes, the A-wings, B-wings, TIE fighters, and X-wings. It was the X-wing schematics that Syra and Damien were busy stealing today, along with several frigates and destroyers. These would be repainted and remodeled slightly to accommodate their new uses. The medical frigates for example would be outfitted to be a sort of in-space hospital.

Damien smirked as he downloaded the plans for the X-wing class of fighter to his datapad and sent it to the Rebellion headquarters on Yavin. Then he and Syra went about their second task, actually stealing the ships.

Syra hopped aboard the Destroyer that they had picked out. They had actually picked out three, but they would slave the controls of the other two to the one that he was flying. Damien did the same with the three frigates they'd picked. Once they were both ready, Syra opened up a secure comm. channel to Damien.

"You ready to get out of here?" he asked. Damien smiled and replied, "Ready when you are. Got the right coordinates for the jumps? We don't want to lead the Empire right back home."

Syra frowned. "Of course I do. Do you? You always were a bit off with your hyperspace calculations." A snort was his answer and then the two shared a laugh before lifting off.

The guards who had been knocked out before the two Jedi got to work came running into the hangar bay and looked on in horror as their newest ships, the ones that should have been the pride of the Imperial fleet, flew out of the hangar. A tone sounded from their comm. channel and a voice said, "Thanks for the transports, we'll see you later."

The two guards looked at each other and tried not to cry as they imagined their superior's reaction to what had happened.

The last step of the first movements of Operation Annoyance was Knight Sheija's attack on the Emperor's funds a day later. Harry sat behind her, watching with interest. He didn't know how to do what she was doing himself but he was interested in watching. Sheija for her part was fully concentrated on her work and didn't care that he was sitting behind her, his status as one of the most infamous Jedi in the Order, according to the Empire at least, didn't bother her. The two were good friends, despite the rank difference.

Slowly yet steadily Sheija navigated the bank system, finally hacking into the Emperor's personal funds. With a small yet pronounced smirk, she began draining the funds into other; Rebellion oriented accounts, although they didn't appear to be Rebellion accounts. It was painstaking, slow work, and Harry left halfway through, needing to meet Leia for their lightsaber training session.

He found Leia in the clearing outside the main entrance, warming up along with Gareth. Damien was nearby, watching as he'd got back from his own mission the day before. Once the four Jedi were warmed up, they began their exercises. Harry and Damien patiently led their apprentices through the exercises, but Harry was doing more than observing Leia, he was also observing Damien and what he saw pleased him. Despite the younger Jedi's fears that he wouldn't be a good Master, Damien had settled into the role very well and was now comfortable with it. Harry looked over at him and raised his eyebrows, indicating their Padawans with a tilt of his head. Damien nodded and they stepped off to the side, letting Leia and Gareth have room to spar.

The two Padawans eyed each other warily. Gareth was a year older than Leia, but Leia had been taught to use her smaller size to her advantage against opponents that were taller and/or heavier than her, which was exactly what Gareth was. At a signal from Damien the match began.

Leia struck first, her blue blade slicing upwards in an arc, headed for Gareth's right flank. He blocked it with his own green blade, and retaliated with a cut at her head which she also blocked. They disengaged their blades and stepped backwards to give themselves room. Now it was Gareth's turn to attack and he did so with a series of cuts and slashes, driving Leia back. Sensing the tree behind her, Leia leapt upwards and landed briefly on the branch above her head balancing there for a split second before somersaulting over Gareth's head and trying to get him from behind.

Gareth only just managed to block the strike to his back and he was annoyed that he was being beaten. Growling, he upped the ante, his strikes becoming faster, harder, and his use of the Force becoming more aggressive. Leia countered every attack but she was breathing more heavily, and the Force flowed out from her erratically as she became more tired. Over to the side, Harry and Damien frowned; they could feel what was happening and neither of them liked it. Harry leaned over to Damien and murmured, "I thought you'd taught him to control that temper of his?" Damien scowled briefly and muttered back "I thought so too, apparently he's still struggling with it."

"It would appear so; still he's only – hey!" Harry leapt into the fray, lightsaber igniting in a flash as Gareth swung his lightsaber at Leia's throat, scoring a deep wound. The blades of the two apprentices were set on the lowest setting so they shouldn't have been able to wound like that. The only way it could have done so was if the swing was at full strength. The green blade was blocked on it's second strike by Harry's silver one as Harry drove Gareth away from Leia easily, driving the Padawan back until he bumped right into Damien who reached round him and thumbed the power switch on his blade to the off position.

"What were you doing?" Harry demanded, still in protective Master mode. Gareth looked confused. "I was only going to touch her throat with it, you know, standard kill touch. You didn't have to leap in like that" he muttered resentfully. Harry scowled and was about to reply when Damien spoke up.

"Harry let me handle this. You look after Leia." Harry looked at Damien for a minute, noting the steely look in his eyes, and nodded. He dropped to his knees beside Leia, gently pulling her upright. He traced the ugly wound, infusing it with a touch of the Force to numb the worst of the pain while he took her to the infirmary. Leia looked up at him with pain filled eyes but she wasn't crying. She trusted him to look after her, and Harry did just that, walking as fast as possible towards the infirmary while still taking all the care necessary to ensure that his precious cargo wasn't jostled too much. He glared one last time at Gareth, who was looking rather subdued from the lecture he was receiving, which looked to be rather scathing from where Harry was standing.

Healer Re'eya was on duty that afternoon and she took Leia from Harry's arms and put her on one of the beds, soothing her quickly. Harry made to leave but Leia stretched out a hand and grasped one of his.

Master, please stay she sent through the training bond. Harry conjured a chair and sat down, still holding Leia's hand. I'll stay as long as you want me to he sent back, reassuring her as much as possible. He noticed Re'eya standing beside him and looked up.

"Will she be alright?" he asked. Re'eya looked down at the pair and then said, "Can I speak with you in private for a moment Harry?" Leia looked startled and then her grip on Harry's hand tightened. Harry quickly rubbed her hand before saying "Leia, I need to speak with Healer Re'eya for a moment. I'll be just outside, call me through the training bond if you need something. I'll be back as soon as possible. OK?"

Leia looked miserable but nodded slowly, releasing Harry's hand reluctantly. Harry stood and followed Re'eya outside. Once the door was shut he said, "What do you have to say that couldn't be said in front of Leia?"

"The wound will be difficult to heal. The burn was bad, and the skin was actually cut through the first two layers. I'd advise having her communicate with you through your training bond for the next couple of weeks, and I'll advise a diet of very soft foods and liquids until that wound heals; the throat is a very delicate area. I can't put her on a drip to feed her intravenously, not without keeping her in here for the next two weeks. You've trained her too well Harry; she hates the infirmary as much as you and Anakin do."

Harry chuckled briefly before sobering when the healer asked, "How did she come by this injury?" He scowled and replied "She was sparring with Padawan Eeyon, Damien's Padawan, and lost. Their blades were set at normal training levels by the way, level 1. He was trying to do the normal kill touch I suppose but he was angry for some reason and swung really hard at her throat rather than giving the normal brief touch to the side."

Re'eya scowled as well. "Might I suggest that she not spar with Padawan Eeyon again until he learns to control his temper? Blades set at training level are not meant to cause these types of injuries."

"I know. I'll talk to Damien later. For now, is she going to be alright?"

Re'eya nodded. "When the wound heals, yes she'll be fine. There was no trauma to her vocal chords the reason I said no verbal communication was to stop the muscles of her throat, and thus the skin from moving too much while it's healing. Bacta treatment should help as well, I'll give you some to take back home with you. Regular treatments, every few hours. I do want her to stay tonight though, just so we can get the treatment started."

Harry nodded and then shifted slightly. Re'eya smiled and said, "Go on, I've finished what I had to say. Go be with her."

Harry needed no more encouragement, and he stayed with Leia until the nine year old had fallen asleep. When he went home he found Damien sitting on the couch, looking irritated and apologetic.

"I'm so sorry Harry, he won't be doing that again I promise. How is Leia, is she OK?" was the first thing out of the Knight's mouth. Harry sighed and motioned to the couch.

"Sit back down Damien. The wound was nasty but she'll recover." Damien swallowed and then asked, "How nasty?" Harry glanced sideways at him and then said grimly, "The blade sliced through the top two layers of skin and gave her a nasty burn as well. She isn't going to be able to talk for the next two weeks while it heals, or she's not supposed to at any rate. Fortunately there was no damage to her vocal chords." Fixing the suddenly pale Knight with a stern look he added, "I don't suppose I need to state how unhappy I am with your Padawan?"

Damien shook his head emphatically. "No there's not. I've confiscated his lightsaber for the next month and he will be doing lots of emotion control exercises and meditation on the dangers of uncontrolled anger."

Harry nodded. "You don't need to explain stuff to me Damien, but may I say how well you've settled into being a Master? Do you know the reason why he reacted the way he did?"

Damien nodded. "I do. He was annoyed that Leia was winning briefly there and his anger overwhelmed his common sense. He's upset that he injured her like that; he truly didn't mean to, they are friends after all. He wants to see her."

Harry considered the request. "What did you say?" he finally asked. Damien shrugged. "I told him he had to apologise to you before he saw Leia and he also had to apologise to her as well. He was extremely nervous about the thought of apologizing to you by the way."

Harry smirked before chuckling briefly. "I imagine he would be. You did tell him that I wouldn't kill him didn't you?" Damien looked surprised before smirking and replying, "Um, maybe not." At Harry's startled look he grinned and said, "Of course I did. He's just nervous because of your reputation."

Harry groaned and gently punched Damien in the shoulder. Damien retaliated with a shove to Harry's chest, pushing him backwards. They shared a brief laugh before settling into companionable silence, each thinking of their Padawans. An indeterminable period of time passed before there was a tentative knock on the door. Harry looked at Damien who nodded, it was Gareth on the other side. Harry opened the door with a flick of his fingers and sat back in his chair, losing his genial nature in an instant.

Gareth swallowed hard, he appreciated the fact that his master was looking supportive but Harry was looking downright dangerous, what with the annoyed scowl on his face. Damien noticed this and frowned, jabbing Harry in the ribs. This got the scowl turned on him but when Damien used their old bond to tell Harry that Gareth was scared enough without Harry scowling at him, Harry sent a silent agreement and smoothed his expression out.

"Padawan Eeyon, you have something you'd like to say?" he stated neutrally. Gareth nodded, swallowing hard. "Yes Master Potter" he began. He swallowed again and then continued, "I, I was angry at Leia turning the tables on me, well not angry but annoyed, and then it suddenly grew out of proportion, overwhelming me. I was controlling it but suddenly it leapt out of control, I don't know why. I didn't mean to hurt her. She will be alright won't she?"

Harry frowned. "Yes she will. It will take a couple of weeks but she'll be fine. I'm more interested in what you say happened. Do you have any idea why your temper would spiral out of control like that?"

Gareth shook his head, upset. "No Master Potter. If I did I'd tell my master, or you or someone else so it could be fixed. You think I wanted to hurt Leia like that? She's my friend!"

"Whoa, calm down, calm down" Harry said, pitching his voice to be more soothing than accusatory as he saw that the Padawan was approaching a breakdown fast. Damien stepped round Harry and moved over to Gareth, hugging him and talking quietly. Out of respect, Harry deliberately did not try to overhear what Damien was saying, it would have been highly rude. Instead he reached over his training bond with Leia to check on her. Finding her still asleep, and the pain from the injury was slowly fading, he came back to himself to see Gareth looking at him hopefully while Damien was looking at him neutrally.

"So can I see her?" Gareth asked. Harry shook his head. "Not now Gareth, she's asleep at the moment. You can see her tomorrow. For now, you're forgiven, just work on figuring out the reason behind what happened please. We don't need another repeat of this."

Gareth nodded, he too didn't want another repeat of what happened. It had been scary, losing control like that, almost as if something had taken over his body. He thought of the strange black building and the odd altar that he'd explored with Tamsin, Luke and Leia but dismissed it, surely a block of stone couldn't influence him like that. Shaking his head, he followed Damien home, hoping that his friend would be OK.

Author Note

As you can see, I've used quite a few ideas that were sent in. Thank you to everyone, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. More will be coming as soon as I find time to write, this month is fairly busy in RL world for me.

May the Force be with you

Padawan Lynne