This is inspired by a plot bunny donated by Kirin-Saga at the Naruto Plot Bunny Orphanage.
Bunny:
"You really want to scare your enemies?"
"Yeah."
"Well,
then just laugh when you kill them." Itachi gives Neji a little
lesson.
Uchiha Itachi, as known to all of Konoha, was the pride and joy of the esteemed Uchiha clan. Already an ANBU Captain by the age of thirteen, he was a force to be reckoned with. He was swift, he was ruthless, he was cool and calculating, many whispered that he was perfect.
What no one suspected of the Uchiha prodigy was the fact that he had a soft spot for little children. He had an older brother complex and the need to take in and baby every stray he found. He apologizes for it, and his father hates it—but what can he do about it?
So, instead of insulting and then promptly ignoring the flash of brown that had run into him in the market like the watching civilians had expected, Itachi had picked the little tyke up, and said hello. He looked about his brother's age—another one of his weaknesses.
"What's your name?"
"Are you Uchiha Itachi?"
Itachi couldn't help but smirk at the solemn faced little boy's lack of etiquette. His smirk only grew when he noticed that he was talking to a mini-Hyuuga twerp. "Yes I am. What can I help you with?"
"Do I look like a girl to you?" The boy demanded fervently. The glint in the boy's lavender eyes promised pain if he answered wrong.
Itachi narrowed his eyes at the younger boy, going so far as to activate his Sharingan—more for show than anything. "Not really, why do you ask?"
"People laugh at me, and tell me I look like a girl. My mother won't let me cut my hair." Suddenly, a pale index finger was in his face. "But you have long hair, and you're respected."
Itachi ran a hand through his own hair, "I guess…" He didn't exactly expect to be talking to a little eight year old boy about his hair in the middle of a crowded market.
"And I know that as soon as I become a shinobi, my enemies will use my hair against me!" The boy cried out. Itachi hoped that no one thought he was harassing the kid. "Tell me, please." He practically begged, pulling out the puppy eyes. Itachi fell for it hook, line, and sinker. "What's your secret?"
Itachi looked around the area, placed the boy down on his feet, and knelt down to face the boy, "You really want to scare your enemies?" He whispered.
"Yeah." Itachi expected that if the boy wasn't raised as a Hyuuga, he would be bouncing around excitedly.
Here, Itachi broke out a serene smile and said as if it was the most obvious solution there was, "Well, then just laugh when you kill them."
"Oh! Thank you, Itachi-sempai!" The boy bowed and turned to leave.
"Wait, what's your name?" Itachi shouted to the boy.
"It's Neji!"
--
A little continuation/alternate ending
It wasn't much of a surprise to Itachi when, years later, he saw Kisame fall, and heard a pale, long-haired Hyuuga laughing over his partner's dead body.
A/N: I don't know about you, but I feel kind of warm and fuzzy inside. Can't you all imagine Itachi giving little Neji lessons on how to scare the living crap out of his enemies? No? Well, that's just me then.