Disclaimer: THIS IS BORING! I do not own Legend of Zelda, nor any people, places, or concepts therein. I do own Emily, my sense of humor, and...All other un-claimed things mentioned in this chapter! Yeah!
Gods, this is fast! I finished my homework, and then I was checking my messages, and then I thought "I'm bored! There's got to be something I can-Hey, my ToD got some new reviews!"
...And here we are.
Em: *appears humming to herself* What? Oh, sorry. The author's listening to Ghost by Daughtry. Consequently, I have that same song stuck in my head. Should we get to the dares?
Everyone: *look up expectantly*
That didn't take long. Just like when I was starting out. Oh, the memories...
Link and Ganondorf: Fight scene. (Actually write it, msf.)
Vaati: Why is your last form a giant eyeball? That's lame. I wanted a sword fight against you at the end of Minish Cap, not pathetically weak eyeballs.
Happy Mask Salesman: Go scare the crap out of everyone.
Author (not Emily): Do you have any special powers?
Tingle: Become a ninja.
Ruto: Become a pirate
Tingle and Ruto: Fight each other.
-keybladeboy
Me: *appears, randomly mini-ized so that I can sit on Emily's head* I'm just going to cut-and-paste the battle between Link and Ganon from The White Wolf. Technically, I already wrote it. *preens*
The King of Evil lunged, sweeping his sword out. Link dodged, landing an easy hit on Ganon in the process. Midna watched in shock as she suddenly spotted the change. Ganondorf's eyes flickered around the room, while Link's stayed locked on his opponent. It was as though the concentration levels between them had switched.
Another lunge, another backslice. No wonder Ganon hadn't attacked before; the hero was not just smaller, he was faster, more agile. The dance of blades had changed, still just as terrifying, but now much more dangerous, steadily speeding up. Lunge, slash. Lunge slash. Lunge-slash…
The King of Evil kicked off from the ground, practically flying through the air, blade aimed for Link's head. Link jumped to the right, and gasped as Ganon changed direction in mid air. The hero dodged again, just before his opponent collided with him.
Burning pain shot up Link's leg. Gritting his teeth, the boy stared at his leg. The glowing sword had barely scratched him, and it felt like he'd been sliced from knee to ankle? Somewhere in the distance, Ganon was laughing. Well, this isn't good.
…
The hero was worried. Ganon seemed to have gotten a second wind, while he himself was tiring. If this became a matter of one outlasting the other, Link knew he would lose.
Just one thing left to try…Link raised the Master Sword, and stood his ground. Ganon lunged.
The impact slid both of them towards the throne a few feet. The two swords met half way between the opponents. The blades quivered as each barer pressed on his weapon with all his strength. Link felt the swords begin to inch towards his neck. The King of Evil loomed over him, grinning.
"And so the hero falls. When you fight only for yourself, you'll find you win more often."
Link glanced over to the side. Midna was practically vibrating with tension and worry…Cal was sitting up, eyes filled with silent pleading…Somewhere in Kakariko, the children and Ilia were waiting for this adventure to finish so they could go home…He looked back to his opponent.
"You're wrong. When you fight for others, you find a strength you never knew you had." Ganon stumbled back in shock as the blades collided sharply with his chest plate. The hero darted forwards, fire in his eyes. "This one's for the kids, wrenched from their homes," Link muttered, slashing the King of Evil's right arm, "This one's for the parents, caught in worry," left arm. "This one's for the Twilight Realm, and everyone you cursed," right leg. "This one's for the three lights you stole," left leg. Ganon fell to his knees and stared at the hero. They were now the exact same height. The Gerudo's eyes were filled with a deep burning hatred.
Link drew back the Master Sword. "And this is for the lives that have been twisted and ruined by your acts." The blade sunk into the hole in Ganondorf's armor, and punched another one in the back.
The King of Evil screamed.
Me: You're not the only one who loves loopholes, KBB. Cailin ("Cal")'s my OC, for those of you who haven't read TWW. It's a retelling.
Em: Stop promoting your other story.
Me: Cal could have gotten this job. I don't think you're in a position to tell me what I can and can't do.
Em: N-next!
Vaati: *whisper* Do I have to?
Me: I can go away, if that's what you're worried about, Wind Boy. *grins when I say his title (sorta. Midna Hytwilian made that one up) then vanishes in the puff of purple smoke.*
Vaati: *peeks out from behind Midna* R-really? *doesn't see author* *sigh of relief* Okay. I wanted to show off my sword fighting skills too, but the Light Force had other plans. I'll admit, I got a little high off the power, and maybe went a little nuts…Believe me. If I'd remembered my original back-up plan, you wouldn't have all these people who say I cheated in that tournament…*sniff*
Em: Aww…*hugs Vaati*
Me: *invisible sits on Emily's head (yes, I was there the entire time!)* Coming back for the next two Dares.
Vaati: eep! *goes back to hiding behind people*
Me: *reappears* Right. Next.
HMS: *normal creepy grin and clichéd evil-villain hand rubbing* hehheh! My very existence...*twists head around in a full circle*
Everyone: *hides in their respective dressing rooms*
HMS: ...is terrifying, no?
Em: *zaps him unconscious through keyhole*
Everyone: *slowly fill studio again, with obvious "Are you sure it's safe?" looks on their faces*
Tingle: clearly thought ahead and canged into a ninja suit*
Ruto: *also thought ahead (WHAT?) and is wearing an eye-patch, pants, and a very mermaid-like sea-shell bikini top*
Me: Wait, Ruto's wearing clothes? Really? REALLY? *throws a little mini-ized party (just me and the Minish) on Emily's head in celebration*
Ruto: *sits on Tingle*
Tingle: *can't move, therefore can't fight, therefore automatic loose*
Me: Finding a way around each of these fights will be my personal ongoing amusement! *giggles like Midna* On my dare, Emily is actually one of my OCs, not an avatar of me. So we are different people. And yes, I can alter reality in this studio and for my OCs if I want to. Moving on…*vanishes for real this time* *yes, with the puff of purple smoke*
Dare Ruto to renounce her love for Link.
Dare Navi to be quiet for more than 5 minutes.
Truth ask Ganandorf if he is a pedo (I mean Zelda's only like ten in most of these games)
-king3809
Ruto: Do I have to?
Midna: Just do what I do when there's a romance Dare: lie. It's a Dare, not a Truth.
Ruto: Okay! I don't love, adore, obsess over, or stalk Link!
Midna: …That might have been going too far…
Navi: *reads her Dare* Fine. I am in Ocarina, you know. I just like to make little ringing noises. Start the timer.
Em: *summons timer and sets it for five minutes* Started! In the mean time…
Ganondorf: I am not in love with her! There's a difference between kidnapping and affection.
Hope you had fun seeing Ganondorf in a ballarina costume because I sure did. Anyway another dare that humiliates Ganondorf(YAY!). I dare all the girls to give Ganondorf A REALLY BAD MAKOVER. Makeup, Lipstick, the whole nine yards and he must dress in a really, really, really frilly, girley dress that is pink and white. Also while dressed as this to make Link feel better Ganondorf must scar Ruto for life by KISSING her until she faints. And finally to get revenge for the whole stabbing thing, for one hour Ganondorf must be tied up and Vaati is allowed to torture him anyway he sees fit, so get creative Vaati! Also Ganondorf must still be wearing the dress when Vaati tortures him.
Great first chapter and be expected to get reveiw from my sister. Don't worry Vaati she's on your side too and Ganondorf you better be scared.
Again good chapter.
Y.
-Everia
Girls: *pull out their make-up kits and swarm around the Gerudo king*
2min later…
*little ringing sound*
Navi: And that's five.
Girls: *back away from Ganondorf*
They really didn't hold back. Mascara and kohl, eye-shadow, blush, silver lipstick…Tetra donated one of Zelda's dresses from Ocarina and they somehow shoved him into it. Ganondorf took on his Twilight Princess form at some point, and someone let down his hair so that they could pull it back into a traditional Gerudo ponytail. He looked, all in all, like an utter idiot.
Malon: *shove Ruto forward* Pucker up, pig boy.
Ganondorf: *grimaces, then grabs Ruto and starts kissing her*
Ruto: *goes through the five stages: shock, denial, anger, dizziness, unconsciousness. From lack of air, you know*
Ganondorf: *drops Ruto and wipes his mouth* I think she drooled on me!
Vaati: *waltzes forwards with a big grin on his face* What was it you said the other day, Ganon? Oh yes, REVENGE! *magically ties Ganondorf to a chair*
Over the next hour, Vaati used fire-orbs to burn Ganondrof, levitation to drop him on his head (repeatedly) various blade spells, and once attempted a one-man reenactment of the piñata Dare. When he got bored with that, Our purple Wind Mage moved on to testing new spells and potions on Ganon, finishing it all off by forcing slightly enhanced Black Chu Jelly down his throat.
Em: …You are one sadistic little mage.
Link: Black Chu Jelly's not so bad though…
Ganondorf: *grabs stomach* THE PAIN!
Vaati: This one doesn't break down. Think constant migraine pain. In your stomach.
Everyone: *sympathetic wince*
Em: And that's all for this chapter. See you next time, readers!
*heals Ganondorf* Sorry all Ganon-haters (myself included), but he's sorta part of the main cast.
Em: Please Read and Review. Remember, it'll actually show up in the story!
Ganondorf: Sadly...Why doesn't anyone like me?