Randy cuts a backstage promo on Smackdown the next night, but aside from the television monitors backstage, Seth hasn't seen or talked to Randy since last night. Seth should be frustrated, hurt, disappointed, perhaps even relieved…a whole list of adjectives that could describe a person after a major break-up.
But Randy hasn't really crossed his mind honestly; he hasn't stopped thinking about Roman.
Which is why Seth is standing in front of Roman's hotel room at midnight, waiting for him to answer the door.
He's going to put all his cards on the table. Tell Roman that he wants to be with him and ask him if he wants the same.
The door opens and Roman appears, in a pair of shorts and a loose-fitting tee.
"Seth," Roman greets in surprise. "What are you doing here?"
"Sorry, did I wake you?" he tries to keep his voice down. Roman just shakes his head in response. "I wanted to talk to you," Seth replies. "Is that alright?"
"Okay. Yeah, sure," he nods.
"Can I come in?" Seth asks, motioning inside.
"Yeah, of course," Roman nods awkwardly, moving to the side to let Seth in. "Where's Randy?" he questions, tidying up some of the clothes on the floor.
Roman's never liked Randy and it stems from an incident around the time of the Shield's debut. Too many alpha males and egos in the same room, Seth figures.
"Don't you two have a thing going on?" he goes on. But it isn't just some snide remark like usual this time. There's a hint of jealousy in his tone, and it kind of arouses Seth.
"Don't you have a thing with Renee?" Seth shoots back. It sounds more vicious than he intends, so Seth immediately backtracks. "We're not together anymore," Seth mumbles quickly.
"What happened?" But Roman's tone sounds more like mild curiosity than concern. Seth's not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
"We…I thought we should go our separate ways," Seth admits. "He wasn't the one," Seth looks Roman in the eye, and Roman clears his throat.
"So was that what you wanted to talk about?" Roman asks. "Because you know I've never liked the guy much."
"He's a good guy once you get to know him," Seth defends. "But no. I know better than to talk to you about Randy."
"He's a jerk and you deserve better than that," Roman just mutters under his breath. Seth ignores it.
"I need to talk to you about us," Seth states, unwavering.
"Us?" he asks. Roman says it as if he has no clue what Seth's talking about, but he turns and starts to walk to the mini-fridge as if he does.
Seth rolls his eyes to no one in particular. He knows Roman likes to avoid things until it hits him in the face.
"Roman," Seth says, shaking his head.
"You know, hotels used to stock some nice alcohol in rooms," he comments, pretending to rummage through the mostly-empty fridge. "If you want something, I can get some room service."
Seth crosses his arms across his chest and waits for Roman. He's not leaving, so Roman is just prolonging the inevitable.
"I think you know what this is about," Seth starts again sternly, once Roman turns around.
"Seth, I don't-," Roman trails off.
"I have feelings for you," Seth lets out abruptly after a deep breath. "I'm not usually one of those people that believes in love, but I think that this could be love. Or at the very least, something so amazing that it'd be a shame if we were too stubborn to ignore it." Roman seems too stunned at Seth's straightforwardness to say anything, so Seth continues talking.
"I don't know exactly when it happened, but I need to get it off my chest because I need to know that you feel something too."
"Seth," Roman croaks, his mouth suddenly dry.
"I don't know if it's been driving you insane like it has for me, but I know you feel something between us," Seth goes on, quieter than before. "That night after the house show this past weekend…I know why you ran off. I know you felt it."
A beat.
"I can't," Roman says firmly.
"You can't what?"
"I can't be with you, Seth," Roman states. There's something in his voice that gives him away though. It's emotionless and practiced.
A lie.
"You can't or you don't want to?" Seth asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Seth…Stop," Roman touches his arm.
"Stop what?" Seth questions, his voice rising. "Stop being honest with ourselves?" Seth pulls away from Roman and crosses his arms again. "You can't sweep it under the rug now that it's out in the open, Roman."
Seth pauses to let that sink in for Roman and to calm himself.
This isn't how it's supposed to happen.
Roman is supposed to say that he feels the same way. Kiss him so passionately that they stumble towards the bed. Run his hands over every inch of his pulsating body and whisper that he's waited for this moment for months.
That he wants him now and that he always will.
Roman is the one Seth wants. Roman is his happily ever after. It isn't supposed to be so goddamn complicated.
Seth just lets out a heavy sigh.
"Roman," Seth begins softly. "Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't feel anything between us. That you're not thinking about me the same way I'm thinking about you. Because that's all that matters. That's all that should matter."
Roman keeps a steady gaze on Seth, but he doesn't say anything.
Then, he sees it flash in Roman's eyes.
Hesitation.
And in that moment, all logic and sanity fly out the window and Seth makes a decision. He leans into Roman and plants a kiss on his unsuspecting lips.
Because if he's going to lay out all his cards on the table tonight, he might as well go all in, right?
It's tentative at first, and Seth's lips barely graze Roman's sealed mouth as he tests the waters.
Seth is no stranger to kissing guys, but he's pretty sure Roman is. And Seth has no idea if Roman really wants to change that.
He surveys Roman's eyes for some kind of encouragement or permission, but they reveal nothing.
Although Roman's not exactly reciprocating, he's not fighting Seth either. So Seth brings a hand up to Roman's side and lightly rests it on his waist.
When Roman doesn't push him away, Seth places his other hand on his shoulder to draw him closer. He pulls back to look at Roman for a second again, only to place soft, warm kisses at the corners of his lips, in an attempt to coerce them apart.
Seth tries to ease Roman into the kiss by sliding his hand up the nape of his neck until finally Roman's lids shut and he breathes a small sigh, parting his lips.
And once Roman breaks down his walls and lets Seth in, it's electric.
Seth's entire body flushes, from his ears to his toes, as Roman's tongue meets his. But it's not just from the pure physical desire that's been building inside of Seth for months.
It's from the knowledge that Roman is opening up to him. That Roman is eager – imploring Seth with his mouth – for more. It's the fact that it's Roman - and no one else - that causes all of Seth's sensory stimuli to multiply tenfold.
Every nerve on his body vibrates in anticipation and every little gasp echoes in his eardrums. He doesn't just taste Roman; he practically drinks him in. He breathes him in like oxygen to his lungs.
Seth loses track of the exact details from then on, but he just remembers riding a dizzying high that involves hands and lips and tongue, until Roman pulls away.
And even though the kiss doesn't last long, Seth practically whimpers at the loss of heat and contact. His lips are still tingling, his mind is still buzzing and his body is still on fire.
There's no doubt in his mind that everything up until this point – all the loveless nights spent with Randy, all the frustrating nights alone thinking about Roman – was worth it. It's everything he thought it would be. Everything he thought they would be.
Perfect.
"Now tell me you felt nothing. That it meant nothing," Seth whispers, still trying to control his ragged breathing and restless heartbeat.
"Seth, I-" Roman falters.
"We can figure this out as we go," Seth hushes softly, soothingly drawing circles on his palms. "I know it's scary, but we can make it work. You just have to want it."
There's a drawn-out silence between them, and neither of them make a move.
"I asked Renee to move in with me. Into my home in Florida," Roman starts finally. "We're only there a few days a week, but she said yes."
Seth blinks a few times, trying to make sense of it all. Roman quickly pulls his hands away from Seth once he realizes they're still in an unusually intimate position.
"Oh," Seth says lamely. Was Seth so wrapped up in this perfect fairytale love story that he completely misread everything between them?
"It's serious," Roman tells him. "I can't do this to her."
"Right," Seth's voice breaks.
"Seth…" Roman shakes his head.
"Of course you two are serious. Congratulations." Seth says rather quickly, perking up immediately. "Beautiful, sweet, funny…Renee is perfect. Of course you want her," Seth goes on.
Seth's not lying. She is perfect. Of course Roman would choose someone who's just as perfect as he is.
Seth has his definitive answer. Roman's saying "no" because he has someone he loves already.
"I'm-I'm just gonna see myself out now," Seth stammers awkwardly, backing away from Roman and towards the front door.
"Seth, wait-" Roman grabs his arm to stop him. The hopeful glint in Seth's eyes betrays his words and body language, and Seth really listens to what Roman's saying this time. He gazes into Roman's eyes, so soft and warm and alluring.
Seth melts right there.
Roman takes a hesitant step toward him and Seth is sure that Roman's going to change his mind. That Roman's going to call it quits with Renee, pull him close and kiss him again as if nothing is stopping the two of them from being together.
Roman runs his hand down Seth's forearm and grasps his hand. Seth's body trembles in anticipation and desire and need. Seth feels the same nervousness in the shaking body across from him.
He can sense the uncertainty in the air.
Afraid of what they could be. Of what they are.
Roman leans forward, but the proximity and sudden rise in temperature seem to catch him off guard and he pauses. They can hear each other's staccato breathing and their pounding heartbeats thrashing against their ribcages.
Roman squeezes his hand, takes a deep breath and takes another step forward.
Seth stops breathing.
Seth wakes up the next morning, and he can't help but think about Roman.
How his big hands perfectly fit his. How his body perfectly frames his. How his soft lips perfectly mold into his. How his tongue perfectly moves in tandem with his. How the thought of last night makes him breathless all over again.
He turns his head just in time to catch lips and teeth and tattooed arms wrapping around his torso, as last night's event cloud his memory and Roman's last words to him reverberate in his ear.
Everything slows to a snail pace as Seth watches Roman's head inch closer. But it veers off to the side towards his ear and he instead goes for a hug.
"It's too late. I'm sorry. I hope we can be friends still."
At first, Seth thinks he's just imagining it because the words are barely above a whisper and even though he sees Roman's lips moving, nothing intelligible seems to come out of them.
But he's looking into miserable, apologetic eyes staring back at him and Seth knows that it's real.
That Roman is telling him that there is something between them. That he's not imagining the weight behind every little glance and touch they share.
This was never about Roman wanting Renee. This was about Roman not willing to give up his life with Renee for him. Because Seth's not worth fighting for.
What they have is not enough.
And this thought is what really gets to Seth. What really lights a fire in him and pushes him to the edge.
He can handle rejection based on pure disinterest. He's not going to force Roman to want what he wants.
But Roman is being stubborn. He is lying to himself. To everyone. There's no way a kiss like that isn't enough. That this dance between them for the last month meant absolutely nothing.
And Roman knows it.
Friends, Seth thinks. He scoffs and shakes his head.
He's not going to beg or cry.
Because that would mean that Seth cares. And if Roman doesn't seem to give a damn about him or them, well then he's not going to either.
Roman says something again to placate Seth, but it's in one ear and out the other. Seth makes a beeline for the door, holding back all his tears and pent-up anger. He doesn't bother to respond to Roman's pleas to stay and talk it out, as he races back to his own room.
On the elevator, he hears his phone vibrate in quick succession. Once he convinces himself that Roman wouldn't be stupid enough to harass him right now, he looks down to see a series texts from Randy.
Drink?
Place is a shithole. No ones like u
Sorry bout last night
I was stupid and angry
I just want u
We can just fuck
Like before
It doesn't take too long for Seth to reply back and ask him where.
Roman could have been the one. There's no one on this earth that understands him the way Roman does. There's no one on this earth that can make him smile at the littlest of things and then turn around and make him gasp at the simplest of touches. The more Seth thinks about it, the more he's sure of it.
He and Roman were supposed to be together. Their story would have been epic.
But perhaps in another universe and timeline.
Things don't always work out the way people plan and the choices people make aren't always what they want. It is how they deal with what's been given to them that decides how happy they are.
At least that's what Seth tells himself.
He feels Randy's rough fingers mindlessly tracing down the tattoo on his back and Randy presses his body closer to Seth's.
They both reek of alcohol and smoke and sex, but it's comforting in a way.
Because it's simple and easy.
And Randy's the one who's here.
The one who said yes.
And as much as Seth wishes that it weren't true, he can't deny that there's nothing wrong with Randy.
Maybe he isn't who he wanted, but he's enough.
A fun, honest, and ridiculously sexy guy who loves him more than he should.
Seth rolls over and turns to face Randy fully. He looks at him with a small smile that hides his recent disappointment. Randy returns an oblivious grin.
"So why'd you change your mind about everything?" Randy asks, running his fingers down his hipbone.
"I just realized that there wasn't anyone else." Seth's eyes start to drift off as he feels Randy's hand travelling down along his v muscle.
"You're so fucking pretty like this," Randy practically purrs, raking a hand through his tangled hair. Randy leans in to give him an unhurried, open-mouthed kiss that only breaks when Randy's other hand wraps around his length, eliciting a strangled, breathless moan from Seth's lips. It's fucking ecstasy.
Like it's always been.
What they have should be enough.
"I'm glad you're here," Randy murmurs.
But it isn't.
A/N: Thanks for reading, and reviews are always appreciated! Before anyone asks, this is definitely the end. We don't always get our happy endings.