Yeah it's been a while but I've been busy. I don't own Twilight but i do own Lamia and the place they're in.

James POV

Why? Why me? Of all the vampires in the Universe, it had to be me. I shouldn't have been such an idiot with Victoria. If only I could go back in time and think of a better excuse, I wouldn't be here. I would be back in hell with her, drinking our childrens blood. But, no. I had to end up here. Of all the possible places to end up, I ended up here. With him.

"James, it's such a relief that you're here," Laurent interrupted my thoughts.

"Yeah. Yay you."

"So, who killed you?"

"Huh?"

"Well, you killed me and I came here. So, who killed you?"

"Victoria."

Laurent snickered. "You got killed by a girl. Susks to be you."

"You have no idea."

"So, what do you want to do?" he asked.

"Die."

"James, you were dead. Then you died again. Dying three times would be asking too much."

"Dying three times would not be asking enough."

This is a nightmare. Unicorns, rainbows, Laurent . . . happy things! I hate happy things. I'd rather be in hell with Victoria, and since she's angry, that would not be a pretty sight. If she came here, it wouldn't be so bad. There are absolutely no girls here, so she'd be better than nothing. Well, there's Laurent's sister, but she is NOT hot.

Stupid Laurent is still over there, babbling about nothing to who knows who. I think I need to do something about that. I lunged for him.

"James! Nooooooo!"

Laurent POV

Ow . . . my head. That really hurt. What's that? Three times that I've died now? That has to be a record. Where am I? This place seems strangely familiar.

"James?" I asked.

"Laurent?" Weird. I hadn't expected him to answer.

"How did you get here?"

"Don't you remember?"

"No. Did you just kill me again?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Then why am I still here?"

"I dunno. I guess there's nowhere to go after this. Great. Just great. Why won't you die?"

"You know what, James," I said. "I'm starting to think you don't want me around."

"No kidding."

James POV

Perfect. Just perfect. He won't die. Why won't he freaking die? How can you not die in an after-life? Well, come to think of it, I guess that makes sense. It's actually pretty messed up that you can even die in hell. Maybe there's a glitch in the system . . .

This could only happen to me. Not to Victoria. Not to any of those stupid Cullens. Not to the Volturi. Only to me. Laurent is the biggest pain in the butt ever and now we're stuck. Forever. It's like we're stuck in a never ending fairy tale.

"Hey, James," Laurent said. "Being in this place is kind of like being in a fairy tale, you know?" Before I could agree, he asked, "So, why aren't there any fairies?"

"I'm not going to dignify that question with an answer."

I turned away from Laurent and saw something bright red. And unlike hell, everything in this place was not red.

Could it be . . .? No, I don't think that's possible. It's not . . . it is! Victoria!

"Victoria!" I said. "How did you end up here? I mean, you just killed me in hell half an hour ago. How did you manage to die already? Are you still mad at me?"

"Of course I'm still mad, James."

Crap.

Right at that moment, Laurent had to go and babblt stupidly again. "Victoria, you're here! I know this place sucks, but this is gonna be great. It'll be just like old times, but it'll be new times because the old times weren't here. Only not like that time. So, how did you get here? You were, like, the best at escaping death? What did you do?"

I had been wondering the same thing, actually.

"I pissed off the devil."

Yeah I know it's shorter than the rest. Please review . . . i really dunno if anyone's even reading this . . . so if you are, please review :D