Hello, it's that time again. It feels like forever since I last updated! I hope everyone's holiday wasn't too stressful or was at least enjoyable.
I slipped a small Simpsons reference into this chapter, if someone can pick it out I'll write you a story or something. Also I took a small phrase from a Bright Eyes song as well.
Once again, thanks goes out to the ever fabulous drgnqn for playing role of beta.
Also, as a side note, I'm working on a special little something, so keep your eyes peeled if you're interested.
Sara arrived at the restaurant a few minutes after eight. Pulling into the parking lot, she couldn't help but realize how deserted the place was, the only exception being one other black Denali, which was already parked near the front entrance. She eased up along side of it, and as she exited her vehicle, Sara rolled her eyes at herself, "Who eats Chinese food at eight in the morning?" She could have chosen IHOP or something a little more appropriate for breakfast – err dinner. Whatever, it really didn't matter, truth be told, she wasn't even hungry.
The Las Vegas sun was already bright and shining, and it conflicted with the dark cool atmosphere of the restaurant. Sara had to give her eyes a moment to adjust after she stepped inside. For a second she was reminded of the winters she lived through while going to school in Massachusetts. The first snow was always so intensely bright, and after spending mere minutes in it, you could walk into a room and think you were going blind. She spent most of her time in Boston though, so the fresh new snow never lasted long before it was tainted by automobiles, or people in general, but on more than one occasion, her friends and her would go off on a weekend getaway to someplace more quiet and remote, a drastic change from the historic city. Jeff's dad was somewhat well-to-do, so more often then not the students would end up crashing at his father's cabin more upstate, and just spend the whole time goofing off.
Shades of green...that's how everything would look when they would come back inside from an immature snowball fight or quick beer run.
Everything would be in shades of green...
"Yo! Sara! Over here."
She was jolted back into reality at the sound of Greg calling her name. She smiled and gave him a quick wave as she approached the table.
"Hey Greg, sorry I'm late."
"Ah don't worry about it. I haven't even ordered yet, though I do have my eye on the sesame chicken. That is, if you don't mind of course." He gave a meek smile, hoping she wouldn't be offended by his carnivorous ways.
"Knock yourself out."
"Sweet!" He said, pumping his arm in a downward motion, "You see anything?"
Sara hadn't even picked up her menu yet, she just gave it a very unimpressed look as she pushed it away, "Nah, I'm not really hungry."
"I see...So you invited me to a restaurant after shift and didn't even plan on eating." Greg started, "Does that mean we should just skip the formalities and get straight to the point? Unless, of course, you're just taking a subtle approach to calling me fat."
Sara grinned a bit, as their waitress approached their table. Greg ordered his chicken and Sara ordered some tea.
"So what's wrong Sara?"
"Nothing is really wrong; I just needed an honest, outside opinion."
"I'm flattered."
"Yeah, well, it's not like I had a lot of options to choose from."
"Ouch, that's two times tonight I've been mortally wounded by you. We've got another serial on the loose."
The woman quickly came back with Sara's tea, and she suddenly found her little tea cup extremely fascinating. It's best to treat this situation like a band-aid, quick and painless, she decided
"I've been offered a job Greg." There, it was out there.
"Okay..."
"Some friends of mine work at a university and want me to teach a seminar there." Looking at the tea cup, always looking at the tea cup, "I'd probably be out of the lab for about three months, at the least."
"Why would you have to take so much time off? The U of LV isn't that far away."
She looked up for the first time since they started this conversation, "Greg, I said a university, not the university."
"Where, then?"
"London."
Greg nearly choked on the water he was drinking, "London!" He said in a stifled scream, "London?!"
Sara smiled and finally poured herself some tea, finding Greg's reaction endearing. "Yeah."
"Wowza, that is something, but still, three months?"
"Well, I'd need a month at the least to prepare, the lecture will take a month, and the last month..."
It was at this moment Sara regretted bringing Greg into this whole situation. She wasn't thinking clearly and now she was about to dump a whole lot of her emotional baggage right into his lap. Looking at Greg's face before she continued speaking, she wondered if it was too late to pull back now, drop five bucks on the table for her tea, and just run out of there. Greg could run pretty fast, he'd probably catch her while she was trying to unlock her car door, though once he did catch her, Sara was confident she could hold her own against him.
"Sara. What would the last month be for?"
Jolted again.
"The last month would be a pillow." She said calmly, before taking a sip of tea.
"A pillow?"
"They may have a permanent teaching position opening Greg, if it's offered to me and I decide to take it, I'd need that extra month to get all my affairs in order."
Greg was shocked; he just sat across from Sara with his mouth agape. She was moving, she was moving to London no less. His mentor, the person who had helped him the most over the passed few months, and the person whom he'd become more attached to than he thought possible over the passed few years, was moving, oceans and continents away. He just could not believe it.
Wait.
"Wait, you said 'if', does that mean none of this is for sure?" He was reaching for straws.
"The seminar is pretty much a done deal, but everything else is still up in the air. That's actually what I wanted your opinion about."
Everything clicked in Greg's mind - that's what this whole meeting was about, she wants to know if she should get out of Vegas. She is asking, outside of Grissom, probably the most biased person on their team, if she should quit and move thousands of miles away to take a job in a place where it is certain that nobody will ever see her again for as long as any of them lives - and he's supposed to answer honestly, with her well being in mind?
Greg cursed himself for always being the good guy.
"So you wanna know what I think." He said defeated, it was a statement, not a question.
"I realize that my life isn't your responsibility, but I just need to bounce something off someone or I'm going to drive myself crazy and you're a rational person Greg. I trust you."
Damn her for saying that.
"What would you be teaching?"
"Physics."
"Are you unhappy with forensics?"
Greg never knew about anything that went on in her past or about the rough patch her life hit a few years back, where she was drinking every day until she blacked out, only to wake up the next night and do it all over again. She had to assume that he always thought she loved her job.
"It's beginning to wear on me Greg - it has been for a while."
Greg turned to the window at their booth, contemplating what he should say next. Should he encourage her? Discourage her?
"What do you think?" He turned away from the window and back to her, "You must have some thoughts on this situation."
"I need a change, and this is an opportunity for that."
He gave a weak smile, and when their waitress showed up with his food, he was grateful for the distraction. He picked up his fork and pushed it around a bit, mixing the rice with the chicken, all the while feeling totally helpless.
"I think you should teach the seminar, and if you like it and they offer you permanent placement, you should do that too."
"You aren't just saying that are you? If I wanted that kind of answer I would have gone to Nick."
Greg chuckled a little and gave a stronger smile this time, "Oh trust me, I'm not just saying that."
"Good. Watching you eat that makes me hungry though." Sara signaled back to the server and ordered some mock duck.
The rest of the meeting was spent in a relaxed manner. Though Greg warned Sara ahead of time, that now that he knew she was leaving, he was going to try and steal her away to hangout every chance he got. She just laughed at him and said that nothing was etched in stone yet.
As they were both climbing in their trucks, getting ready to leave, Sara hollered over to Greg.
"Hey, keep this under your hat, will ya?"
"Sure, but I don't wear one. Maybe Grissom will let me borrow his."
"Greggy my boy, I don't know if you'd be able to work it hard enough."
With that, they each headed their separate ways. Greg, home to sleep, and Sara, home to think about what she was going to say to Ecklie tonight when she put in her 'leave of absence' form.
"What's this?" Ecklie wondered aloud, as Sara slid the important document on his desk in front of him. The document that represented the beginning of the change in her life.
"It's what I needed to talk to you about, I'm requesting some time off."
"Three months? Why don't you just quit? It'll sure as hell make the scheduling a lot easier."
"That's why I wanted to speak to you." She could feel herself becoming tense, "I realize that three months is a long time; however, if you consider the fact that since working for this lab, I have never taken a vacation and rarely ever called in sick to work, I'm sure you'll see that my request is quite reasonable."
Ecklie glowered at her a bit, before reluctantly signing off in approval and handing her, her copies. Apparently, not even he could argue with that kind of logic.
As she turned to exit his office, she sighed to herself, the easy part was over, now she gets to tell Grissom.
That thought played through Sara's head all shift; while she examined photos, took finger prints, got statements from witnesses, went over tox results, and spoke with Doc Robbins about autopsy findings and stomach contents; but, everything she did, she was haunted by the small fact that tonight she would tell Grissom she might be moving away for good.
That she didn't know what to expect was what was driving her crazy. Would he say something, anything? Or just shrug it off with a pleasant 'nice knowing you'? What would hurt more, inaction or complete disregard?
She took a swig of her raspberry iced tea and wished it was something all together stronger. It would be way easier to confront Grissom if she was a little buzzed. Then again, no it wouldn't, been there done that.
Catherine walked into the break room as Sara was putting her drink back into the fridge.
"Hey, where's your sidekick?"
Sara was confused, "I don't own one."
"No, no, no, I mean Greg, he's been shadowing you all night." Catherine said, taking a seat on the edge of the table, her body language told Sara that this was definitely not a professional conversation, "Even the guys picked up on it."
"Oh, I guess I didn't notice." She lied.
Catherine was practically glowing, "Really? I heard you guys had a little get-together this morning." She smiled, "That wouldn't have anything to do with it, would it?"
"Jesus Christ," Sara muttered under her breath, "Who's your informant?"
"Hodges."
"Well sorry to burst your bubble Cath, but it was just a friendly get together." Sara picked up a manila folder and began to make her way toward the door, "Also, if you see him before I do, tell Hodges that I'm looking for him."
Catherine frowned at the knowledge that the juiciest new office rumor was false, but told Sara she would relay her message to the nosy lab worker.
Sara shook her head at herself as she exited the break room and headed toward Grissom's office. Sometimes this place really was like high school.
His door was open and she braced herself before she knocked on his molding.
He was reading something and looked up at her, over the glasses perched far down his nose, "Oh hello Sara."
"Hey, can I come in?"
Closing his book, "Certainly." Then he paused a spell, "Did you need something?"
"Uh yeah, I was wondering if I could talk to you?"
"Of course." He reached down and opened a drawer to his desk, placing the book inside of it. While he did, Sara allowed herself to look around his office. She'd been in it so many times before this, but now she was seeing it in a new light. He was everywhere in this room; little splashes of Grissom on the desk and on the walls, represented by all the things he enjoyed. At this rate, she was going to get misty eyed any second.
"Sara, what did you need to discuss?"
"I uh," tears were threatening and she had to quickly pull herself together, "Do you mind if I shut the door?"
He quirked an eyebrow at her, "Go right ahead. Is anything wrong?"
"No, just for some privacy." After she shut the door, she opened the folder in her hand. From inside it she drew out a copy of her leave of absence, "I just wanted to talk to you before Ecklie did first."
Grissom's brow furrowed, "I don't know if I'll like any discussion that starts like that. Are you okay Sara?"
What a question. Was she okay? She wasn't sure anymore. She thought she was, before she stepped into his office, but her resolve was suddenly crumbling right in front of her, and she blamed it entirely on him, "I uh..." She gave up on trying to form sentences and just let her fingers do the talking. She handed him the form that was barely signed ten hours ago.
He took it apprehensively, "What's this?"
"I'm taking a leave of absence."
"I see..." He quietly drawled, "Three months; why so long?"
He was staring at her now- he wanted answers. "I'm going to be teaching a seminar and will need the time to prepare." She only gave him the half-truth.
"Really? That's quite an opportunity...on forensics"
"No, physics. I have some friends who also teach at the school, they approached me about it."
"Returning to your roots I see. I'm sorry I wasn't aware that you were still so actively pursuing it."
"Well, I've had a few things published here and there."
Grissom was very surprised at this, how come he never knew she had published works? He made a mental note to himself, that once he got home he would seek them out. "Having anything published is an achievement. Will you be returning to Berkley or Harvard?"
Uh oh, moment of truth, "Actually I'll be teaching at UCL."
It took every ounce of self control for Grissom to keep his eyes from popping out of their sockets, he knew exactly where that college was, he spoke very evenly, "Congratulations, those must have been some articles you wrote, UCL is very prestigious and...far away."
"Grissom," She wasn't going to beat around the bush any longer, "What I really wanted to tell you is what I didn't tell Ecklie." She took a deep breath, "There may be a permanent position opening in the science department, and right now I seem to be their number one candidate to fill it. They haven't offered anything yet and I haven't agreed to anything. I just wanted to let you know out of a professional courtesy, that you may need to find my replacement."
Sara thought that once she said the words she would feel relieved, an over whelming sense of freedom, but right now she just felt empty.
Grissom was certain that if he were being filmed, you could probably freeze frame the actual moment his heart broke in half. He was utterly floored, he had to remind himself to breathe, if he hadn't had the surgery that remedied it, he would be sure that the ringing in his ears was caused by the otosclerosis, except it wasn't. Sara was finally leaving. Sure she said that nothing is guaranteed, but she would be an idiot to pass up a chance to teach at that school, and if there was one thing that Sara wasn't, it was an idiot.
No, he had that title all to himself, Champion of Idiots.
Later, after everything was quiet, when he was home laying in his bed all alone, he would replay the whole thing over and over again through his head, and try to figure out why he let her walk out his office door that day without even acknowledging the fact that she had said anything at all.
Idiot.