Scene begins with Mike and Phoebe still in the car with Mike hovering over Phoebe as she begins to gain consciousness.
Mike- (shaking phoebe) Pheebs… Phoebe!
Phoebe- (mumbles something) Mike?
Mike- Yes, Phoebe, its Mike!
Phoebe- Do—do I win?
Mike- Um, yes, Phoebe, you win…
Phoebe- (laughs) Yay! Now that I'm up! Let's go to the swankiest bar in town! Wooooooooooo!
Mike- Phoebe, we're going to my Great Aunt's Funeral.
Phoebe- Is it an open bar?
Mike- I think so…
Phoebe- (quickly) Let's go then! Wooooooooooooo!
The car starts up again and they begin to travel to the funeral as the scene changes to Ross and Rachel arriving at her father's home. The two are standing at the front door, waiting for someone to answer it after they had rung the bell.
Rachel- Ross! You can't just bring up marriage so soon in a relationship, especially for you!
Ross- Okay, I admit I may have had a few minor setbacks in the world of marriage but…
Rachel- Minor? You've nearly had as many failed marriage as Elizabeth Taylor!
Ross- COME ON RACHEL, YOU'VE GOT TO UNDERSTAND THAT…
Rachel's father opens the door to greet the couple.
Ross- (without thinking) Daddy!
Dr Green- Ah Ross… you're still around are you, alright, come on in.
Ross walks inside and waits for Rachel.
Dr Green- Rachel! My favourite daughter, come in!
Rachel hugs her father.
Rachel- Daddy! (hopeful) Is Mom here?
Dr Green- No Rachel, this is a Green reunion, she wasn't invited.
Rachel- Okay then, I see. Let's go inside…
Rachel grabs Ross' arm as they walk down the hallway.
Rachel- OKAY! No fighting tonight Ross, I am not in the mood, it's bad enough not having my own mother here! Just let me do the talking!
Ross- Fine, fine. You do the talking, got it! I just want to say—
Rachel- Uh! Stop! Not a word…
Ross- But I—
Rachel! Shh!
Ross shuts up but looks annoyed. The scene changes to the front of the church where Mike's Great Aunt is. Robin is currently reporting from the church.
Robin- And that is why today is such an important day, for all involved in the beer industry. Katie Rose Vanderkieft was a pioneer in the beer bottling industry and will surely be missed. In only a matter of minutes, the funeral service will be beginning and she will be farewelled. But for now, we're just going to bottle up this story for good. This is Robin Scherbatsky, reporting for Metro News 1, thank you.
Robin begins to pack up her things as she sees Barney running down the street.
Barney- (fast talking) Robin, I need a little favour off you. Can you just, like, send a broadcast out looking for the hot coffee house girl, I really need her phone number it's super important, please, please, please!
Robin- Barney, I think you've had a bit too much coffee…
Barney- (fast talking) No I haven't, coffee doesn't affect me, and I'm invincible!
Mike and Phoebe pull up near the church with Phoebe still wooing.
Barney- (fast talking) Robin, cancel that broadcast, I have found a woo girl! (laughs)
Scene changes to Joey backstage at his performance in his costume with only Lily, Marshall and a sleeping homeless guy in the audience.
Stage hand- Joey, you're on!
Joey- But my friends aren't here yet!
Stage hand- Too bad Mr Tribiani, the show must go on! (pushes Joey on stage)
Joey (looking nervous) Um, er, how are we tonight?
Lily- Good!
Marshall looks at Lily with confusion.
Lily- (whispering) I'm just joining in. Sarah said it's always nice when the audience joins in.
Joey- Um, the-hills-are-alive-with the smell of… um-pizza!
Lily's friend walks on stage dressed as a goat.
Lily- Ooh, there she is! Go Sarah!
Sarah- (makes goat noises)
Joey looks sad until he sees Monica and Chandler sneak into the back.
Joey- (gasps) Hi guys! (waves) Oh, wait, sorry…
Chandler sighs and tilts his head back.
Joey- Boris! Boris! Where out thou Boris?
An extremely old man hobbles on stage with a pie.
Joey- My pie! Thankyou Boris, give it to me!
Boris- No…
Joey- Well I must take it from you (looks to the audience) by force!
Joey dances around Boris then pushes him over.
Joey- Ha! (spits of Boris)
Sarah- Ba! Come on Boris, let's go!
Chandler tilts his head sideways in confusion as Sarah tries to help Boris up.
Sarah- Come on Boris! (shakes Boris) Boris?
Lily- Uh oh…